First Love Wild Love

by Janelle Taylor

  On the far wall was a painting covered with a moldy sheet. Cal removed the filthy covering, sneezing as dust scattered around her. She stared at the exquisite woman in the portrait. The woman was small, but very shapely. Her skin looked as if the radiant sun itself had kissed it gently with a golden tan. Her silvery gold hair hung to her waist, curling ever so slightly. Her eyes appeared as tawny as precious topaz. There was no doubt; the woman was Lynx’s mother.

  Calinda moved closer, holding the lantern up for more light. If the oils didn’t lie or exaggerate, there was a vivid sparkle of life in Laura’s exquisite face, especially her compelling eyes. Her features were delicate, she had a face which could stun a man speechless. Lynx definitely favored his breathtaking mother. Cal understood what Rankin had meant by seeing Laura in Lynx’s smile and twinkling eyes.

  As Calinda turned her head to one side, she observed a curious aspect which she hadn’t noticed at first glance. On closer study, there seemed to be a softly provocative countenance about Laura Cardone. Perhaps it was the artist’s interpretation or a trick of the lighting. But Laura’s expression and pose created an impression of untameable wildness, a radiant and carefree spirit, a playful seductiveness. It was as if Laura knew she was a beautiful creature who could take or give if it suited her purpose, a woman accustomed to having her way. How Calinda wished she had known this unique woman.

  Standing there, Calinda couldn’t imagine this ravishing beauty as a deprived pioneer in a raw and dangerous land, or screaming in pain in a lonely mountain shack while giving birth to Lynx, or tranquilly enduring the kind of existence which Calinda was living now. Laura Cardone was a woman who seemed to belong in expensive gowns and jewels, in a large town where civilization was at its peak, or on an English estate with countless servants and a husband with the king’s ear. Laura Cardone definitely didn’t appear the cowgirl type.

  Laura must have loved Rankin deeply to share his earlier days in this rugged territory. Rankin must have loved her, for he still carried scars from her death. And Lynx, how could this vital creature deny all love for her only son? Could it be she hadn’t wanted children? Could it have been the harsh circumstances around his birth which caused her to resent him, to avoid having other children? Surely some tragic misunderstanding was at the bottom of their problem? Oddly, Laura’s image didn’t imply arrogance, but immense pride and self-assurance. Calinda couldn’t find any traces of coldness and cruelty. Obviously, Laura had changed drastically after the flattering portrait.

  The painting was splendid, but the heat and moisture were taking their toll. Had they placed it here to keep from facing it each day, a painful reminder of her loss? Would seeing it again re-open those unhealed wounds? It was too costly and beautiful to be ruined in the attic. If they didn’t want it hung downstairs, she should at least clean it and store it properly. One day, the anguish would be gone; one day her children would like to view their grandmother.

  Calinda carried the painting downstairs to the kitchen. She carefully placed it on the table to scrub gently. She would return it to the attic and cover it tightly to prevent damage. As she worked, Calinda wondered about this ravishing creature.

  Also bored, Salina was straightening the pantry. She heard Calinda come into the kitchen. Strange noises reached her ears, enticing her to investigate. When Salina moved to glance into the kitchen, she couldn’t believe the sight before her wide eyes. Surely Calinda wasn’t planning what she thought! Rankin and Lynx would be furious when they came home, to find that treacherous harlot’s picture hanging again! Salina smiled maliciously. Let Cal do as she pleased…

  Another thought flashed through Salina’s wicked mind. They would simply claim grief and take it down. They would never tell Calinda the truth. Somehow she needed to inspire mistrust in Calinda. This was the perfect moment to expose one damaging secret…

  Salina sauntered into the kitchen, sighing wearily. “If you will not tattle, I will sneak a brandy,” she murmured. “What are you…” She dramatically halted and gaped at the object of Calinda’s attention. “Where…did you get that?” she stammered as if shocked.

  Calinda glanced over at Salina, puzzled by her behavior. “What’s wrong? I’m not harming it. It shouldn’t have been hung in the attic; it’s nearly ruined. Perhaps a good cleaning will have it lovely again.”

  “You cannot hang that down here,” Salina fearfully mumbled, staring at the painting as if mesmerized by a horrifying demon.

  “You look as if you’re seeing a ghost, Salina. It’s only an old painting of Laura Cardone, a very good one. It would be terrible to allow it to deteriorate,” she explained.

  “What are you planning to do with it?” Salina continued her game to spark Calinda’s intrigue. Matters had gone so well between them recently that Calinda shouldn’t suspect a thing. Salina was aware of Calinda’s friendly overtures and genial manner lately. Salina had been pretending to gradually mellow toward Calinda. For the past two days alone, she had compelled herself to converse politely with Calinda.

  “I don’t know. Why?” Calinda asked in rising intrigue. Salina was behaving so strangely—she looked panicky; why?

  “If I were you, I would put it back this momento,” Salina advised, her voice strained and her gaze wary.

  Calinda halted her work to look at Salina. “Why?” she asked.

  “No importe,” Salina stated, her gaze staying locked on Laura.

  There was a knock on the front door. Calinda said she would see who was there. It was one of the hands checking on them for Rankin. Salina peeked around the corner, watching Calinda speak with Charlie, then close the door and head her way. She hurried over to the painting and stared down at it, muttering, “If she knew the truth about you and her papa, you traitorous puta, she would burn it.”

  Salina turned to fetch her brandy from the front room. She jumped as if startled by Calinda’s presence and a quizzical stare. “Who was it?” she asked, trying to sway Cal. “Want a brandy?” she offered.

  “What truth, Salina?” she demanded tacitly.

  “Truth?” she repeated, her black eyes darting around as if trying to think of a hasty explanation.

  “I heard you. What about my father and Laura?”

  “I do not know what you are talking about,” Salina declared, exhibiting phony panic and noticeable dishonesty.

  Calinda walked over to the table and gazed down at the image. “Why did you call her a traitorous puta? What is a puta? Why did you say I would burn it if I knew the truth?” Calinda pressed stubbornly.

  “You must have misunderstood me. I was just…just muttering about a saloon girl in town who is making eyes at my hombre,” the Mexican girl alleged saucily.

  “You’re lying,” Calinda charged.

  Salina forced herself to look even more edgy and secretive. “Do not be silly. Do you want a brandy?” she asked again, acting as if she were trying to pacify Calinda.

  When she tried to leave the kitchen, Calinda seized her arm and prevented her flight. “I heard you plainly, Salina. Now tell me what you were talking about,” Calinda persisted. “What do you know about my father? Don’t lie to me,” she commanded sternly.

  “I never met your papa; he was gone before I came to work here. My chores are finished. I will rest for a while. Do you want me to cook your dinner tonight?” the malicious girl offered sweetly.

  “What I want is an explanation, now,” Calinda demanded.

  “About what?” Salina stalled intentionally.

  “Damnit, Salina! If you don’t speak up, I’ll question Rankin.”

  Salina inhaled sharply and rapidly shook her head. “No, you cannot!” The words seemed to burst forth uncontrollably. “I am in mucho trouble here because of you. Have you not noticed how good I have been lately? You will spill your guts the minute Senor Rankin or Lynx returned, just like you did about Lampasas,” she accused.

  “I didn’t tell Lynx anything except what we agreed on. You’re the one who betrayed our bargain!” Calinda
retorted angrily.

  “No, I did not! I only said I did to aggravate you.”

  “But why?” Calinda inquired.

  “I wanted to make you miserable, to leave. I never expected them to ask you to live here. I was shocked when Lynx married you. I love him for years; then you stroll in and take him without even lifting a finger to snare him. Things were fine until you came. I was happy; they were like my family. But you have changed everything; all they care about is you and keeping you happy. I know part of the trouble was mine. I wanted to prove you did not belong here with us. Maybe I am wrong, but I do not trust you.”

  “If I’ve made you unhappy, Salina, I’m sorry. It wasn’t intentional. You’ve known Lynx for a long time. Can you blame me for falling in love with him? But I don’t want to push you out. Why can’t we make a fresh start and become friends? We’re the only women for miles. It would be fun to work together and talk. Is that impossible?”

  “It is too late, senora. We have been too mean to each other. We could never trust each other,” Salina cunningly hedged.

  Challenged, Calinda argued, “That isn’t true, Salina.”

  “You would suspect everything I say or do. If I confided in you, you would run to the Cardones, and they would get rid of me. I feel I live on borrowed time here. I have tried to be nice to you since Lynx left, si? But I do not see how we can become amigas.”

  “I’ve proven I can be trusted, Salina. Haven’t I tried to ease your concerns and stay out of your way? I can see how these changes have been difficult for you, but you must accept them. Please.”

  As Salina pensively mused on Calinda’s words, Calinda asked, “What are you trying to conceal from me about my father?”

  Salina shifted nervously. “If I dared open my mouth, you would tell them. You could not help it. You would insist on more facts or try to solve the problem. You cannot. What is done is done, senora. Forget about your papa and the past. It is trouble for all of us.”

  “If you weren’t here, how could you know anything vital? Do you spy on the Cardones?” Cal asked, trying to trick Salina into a defensive disclosure.

  “No!” Salina shrieked. “But I could not help but learn certain things over the years. Sometimes they forget I am around and talk too freely. But I do not listen at door cracks, so do not accuse me of such.”

  “What did you overhear, Salina?” she insisted firmly.

  “I cannot repeat it,” Salina defied her demand.

  “I’ll ask Rankin to explain your statements, if you don’t.”

  “If you speak to him about this, you will be mucho sorry, senora. If he does not lie to you, you will regret forcing the truth from him. Do not remind Senor Rankin or Lynx you are a Braxton. Hide the picture and forget Laura Cardone and your papa.”

  Something about the provocative inflection on those two names linked together inspired suspicion in Calinda. Both left the same day. Lynx had called her father traitorous; Salina had called Laura traitorous. Everyone refused to discuss either. “I might be sorry later, Salina, but I’m going to unmask the truth.”

  “You do not hear me, senora; everyone will suffer. They will demand to know how you discovered such clues. I will be fired, perhaps beaten!” she blurted out anxiously.

  “I swear to you I’ll keep silent,” Calinda vowed desperately.

  “Not after you learn why he ran!” Salina shouted at her.

  “I promise you, I’ll never mention either of them or the past if you’ll tell me what you know,” Calinda tried once more to convince her.

  “Demonio! I am trapped between devils and demons!” Salina ranted. “If I keep silent, you will talk with Senor Rankin. If I speak, you still might. Either way, I am doomed. Why did you have to come here causing trouble and digging up the past? Why would you even take my word? You will think I lie just to hurt you! There is no guessing what they will do to me. You are too damn tender-hearted! You will try to ease their pains; I know you will,” she panted, as if that trait were an insult. Both girls jumped as thunder crashed nearby.

  “If you lie to me out of malice, Salina, I’ll make you sorry.”

  “That is the problem! You will think so,” she charged heatedly.

  “This has gone far enough. If you don’t explain yourself, I’ll speak to Rankin the minute he returns. If you tell me, I give you my word I won’t repeat it to them, no matter what it is.”

  Salina guilefully paced the floor, fretting and thinking. “All right, senora, but I warned you. Primero, I need a brandy.” She fled into the other room and quickly downed two glasses, pouring another to sip. She handed Calinda a sherry. “You might need that, and you must sit down,” she advised gravely.

  Salina roamed the spacious area for a time. Calinda said, “Stop stalling, Salina.” Salina turned and met her probing gaze.

  “I was trying to decide where to begin,” she murmured.

  “Why not at the beginning?” Calinda suggested, annoyed.

  “I do not know the beginning, only the end. I know why your papa vanished, and I know why the Cardones hate him.”

  Salina sank into a chair, acting as if this confession was weighty. “Your papa was Senora Cardone’s lover. When Senor Rankin discovered their affair, he confronted them together en cama, in bed. There was a terrible fight, and Senor Rankin was injured. While he was unconscious, your papa stole money, mucho money, and escaped. Lynx was the one who found his bloody papa. Lynx loved your papa. You can imagine how the truth hurt him. Your papa betrayed them, used them, and destroyed their family. Can you see how Senor Rankin felt when he learned his wife was whoring with his amigo? Peor, in his cama, his casa? That is why Lynx hates women and does not trust them,” she vowed.

  Calinda was gaping at her in stunned disbelief. Salina went on, “How could they allow you to step foot in this casa after what your papa did to them. I suspected venganza, revenge; they could punish or trap your papa with you. As a presa, they could lure your father out of hiding. But when Lynx married you, I was confused. He would not go that far to punish el enemigo. He must love you to lose his freedom.”

  When Salina halted to catch a breath, Calinda still remained silent and stiff. “Do you see why they will not speak of the past and your papa? Do you see why you cannot hang that picture? I will never understand why they did not burn it and her things. Why would Senor Rankin give her clothes to you, to see such reminders of that bruja?”

  “What is a puta? A bruja? What happened to Laura? Did Rankin kill her in a fit of rage? Did she take her own life? She was too young to die naturally. If my father loved her enough to do such things, why leave her behind?” Calinda questioned in a strained voice.

  “If you repeat this, I will deny every word. That grave on the hillside is for protection, to save face. Bruja is witch; puta is whore. Senora Laura is not dead; she ran away with your papa. She sacrificed her casa, esposo, nombre, and hijo for your papa. She has sent no word to Lynx since she left. That is why he went to roaming the countryside, searching for them. Acaso he still looks for his madre. When Senor Rankin healed, he told everyone your papa had run off to new pastures; he said Senora Laura died of a sudden illness. Very few people know the truth. See why I feared to speak such words?”

  “How could they do such a cruel thing? If they loved each other, why didn’t Laura divorce Rankin and marry my father? How could she desert her own child? Never see him again? Never communicate with him?” Cal reasoned in anguish.

  “Your papa did the same to you and your madre, Senora Cal,” Salina added softly, to send her incisive point home.

  “It can’t be true, Salina,” she argued against the searing truth.

  “You must tell no one of our talk. Tener cuidado, be careful. Do not keep reminding them you are Braxton’s hija. Your papa will never return here and risk his life. He dares not contact you and give away his location. Forget him; you have sided with the Cardones.”

  “I can’t! I must learn why it happened,” Calinda stated dejectedly.

>   “Why does anyone fall in love? Why is anyone selfish and cruel? There are no bueno answers to such questions. If you go seeking more answers or your mal papa, you will lose Lynx and Senor Rankin,” she warned anxiously. “You are lucky to live here, more so to have Lynx.”

  “How could they stand to even look at me?”

  “You know the truth. Can you stand to look at them? Does it change your amor for Lynx?” she craftily pointed out such emotions to gain Calinda’s trust and imperative silence. Let Cal be plagued with doubts and insecurities, but suffer in agonizing silence.

  “Where could they be?” Calinda mused aloud.

  “Anywhere, Senora Cal. They would be loco not to put a great distance between them and the Cardones.”

  “But what about that letter for me to come to Lampasas?”

  “Acaso that is why Lynx was so alarmed. He knew it could not be from your papa. Do you think Cole Stevens sent it?”

  “No. Maybe it wasn’t from my father, but it might have been from a contact of his. If I was being lured into a trap by an unknown enemy, nobody showed up to seal it. Still, I’m glad Lynx came along,” she murmured gratefully.

  “That was lucky for you. It did teach you how dangerous this area can be and how much you need the Cardones. It also inspired Lynx to marry you. So, it was not all bad,” Salina dropped little seeds to take root in Calinda’s mind and to grow entangling vines there.

  “Are you positive that’s what happened, Salina?”

  “I can only repeat what I heard; I cannot swear it is true.”

  “You’re right about one thing; I can’t discuss this with them.” Calinda missed Salina’s satanic smile.