First Love Wild Love

by Janelle Taylor

  In time, I pray you will find understanding in your heart for us. If you wonder if we regret our costly love and harsh decision, we cannot say this early. Believe me, Calinda, when I swear our love was uncontrollable. We will do our best to find happiness and peace together with our new child. If you ever meet Rankin and Lynx, I’m certain you will realize what special men they are, if they allow you the chance to get to know them.

  By now, you are a young woman. I hope you are strong enough to accept these stunning facts and deal justly with them. Please don’t hold the Cardones responsible for my actions and weaknesses; please don’t make them suffer more for what I have done in the past.

  If I am rambling in this letter, it is because I hardly know what to say in our final communication. Be happy and find true love, my child.

  Your father, Elliott

  Calinda lifted the note which had been attached to the deed and forced its reality into her warring thoughts.

  For your many sacrifices, I give you all I have left to offer, my undying love and half of a prosperous ranch which I helped carve from a wilderness with my own sweat and blood, at the side of my closest friend Rankin Cardone and his beloved son Lynx, who were like my brother and son.

  If you are living in England, please do not come to America with hopes of finding me. If you are in Texas as you read this letter, I regret any vengeful battle you might face to claim your inheritance. Kyle Yancey is an honest and talented lawyer; use him to gain what is rightfully yours. I do request you find the means to repay a debt of $45,000 to Rankin, ranch money which I took to begin my new life elsewhere. Possibly you can sell him a portion or all of your claim, or repay him from monies earned from the ranch and cattle if you decide to retain possession.

  I used the money from the sale of our Georgia home to buy land and cattle in Texas with Rankin, except for the $10,000 which I sent to Thomas for your support. With time and work, the Cardone/Braxton Ranch became one of the most successful spreads in the West. God, how I love this land and agonize over leaving it forever. I know this is not a fair exchange for a father, but I want you to have my share. I pondered selling my half to Rankin for ruining his life, but I owed you something more. I beg you to give Rankin first choice at any sale. If you want no part of the ranch, please sign the deed over to Rankin. I owe him this and far more. Forgive me.

  Calinda put the papers inside the packet and went into her old room. She opened the closet door and pinned the packet beneath one of the billowing gowns which had belonged to Laura Cardone. Some other less painful time, she would decide what to do with it. She returned to her room and locked the door.

  All she could do was wait and observe. She couldn’t make any plans, for there was too much she didn’t know, too much to consider. Her reactions depended upon the feelings of Rankin and Lynx, feelings she must discover soon. Until Lynx returned, she must wait. Maybe there was a logical and reasonable explanation…

  For now, Cal was mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. An idea came to mind; from this day forward, she would lock her room to prevent any more mysterious letters from appearing on her bed. She would observe and listen to everything which surrounded her. She was positive those furtive messages were not from her father. Someone was trying to lead her away from the ranch or to cause dissension with the Cardones. Maybe she should study Salina more closely. If her life was in jeopardy from some evil force, she must be more careful and alert. She must avoid anything which hinted of a perilous trap. The most difficult and expensive task would be to uncover the motives of the Cardones…

  One piece of this obscure puzzle kept returning to unnerve her; Lynx was always around when one of these dangers or mysteries occurred. But if he wanted her harmed, why did he always rescue her? Since the Lampasas episode had resulted in their marriage and her loss of the ranch—why the kidnapping, her dangerous fall, his declarations of love, and the inexplicable letters? If a marriage hadn’t lured her father back, why would a series of accidents? Surely they realized Brax and Laura wouldn’t remain anywhere near Texas? Even so, how could Brax learn Cal was in danger? Could the return of the ranch deed satisfy the Cardones? Cal shuddered as if chilled. What if her father or Laura had lied? What if the child was Rankin’s? The money, his child, the ranch, and his wife would certainly supply Rankin with plenty of hatred, an obsession for vengeance. It was so complicated.

  All Cal wanted was Lynx and the truth. They could have the ranch; she didn’t care. But if Lynx didn’t confess when he returned, she must consider leaving. She couldn’t live under this shadow of delusion and mistrust. It was settled; everything hinged on Lynx and his love. Cal would do as her father had asked, consider him dead.

  Cal wished it wasn’t so, but she understood mindless and irresistible love. She had met a handsome and unique man whom she had come “to love beyond all reason and caution,” as with Brax to Laura. Her father’s words pained her deeply—“consumed my thoughts and feelings…forgot all morals…helpless to resist …”—it was as if Brax were describing her relationship with Lynx…

  By Friday, much of Calinda’s anguish and disappointments had altered to smoldering anger and fierce determination. She wasn’t a child or a simpleton to be protected; she wasn’t a stranger to this affair, one who didn’t deserve any facts. This situation had become wearisome and intolerable, it was time to end it.

  A telegram had been delivered late yesterday, one from Brownwood which informed them Lynx was on his way home. Rankin had told her that town was only a day’s travel from the ranch. Any time now, her husband should come riding up to his home. Was she ready to face him? How should she behave? What was there to say?

  Cal was moody and cool today. Rankin asked, “Is something wrong, Cal? You don’t seem yourself today. Eager to see Lynx?”

  “Would you please stop fretting over me? I’m fine,” she declared peevishly. “I’ll be convinced he’s home to stay when I see it. How’s everything going on your ranch?” she inquired innocently.

  “Never better, Cal,” he replied, smiling proudly.

  “You really love this place, don’t you? I imagine it was awfully expensive to buy; it’s so large. Did your family have money to loan you?”

  Assuming Cal was opening a simple talk, Rankin calmly replied, “No. I earned the money and staked out the land. Some of it I fought Indians and Mexicans to hold. It was dangerous back in those early days. A man held his possessions by his gun, courage, and determination. I’ve worked hard to make this ranch what it is today.”

  Cal wouldn’t dispute that Rankin had made this empire what it was at present. Infuriatingly, she could understand why the Cardones must feel that her father didn’t deserve any portion of it or the increased profits. She could comprehend their desire to protect their home and labors, their fear of her walking in and demanding an enormous share of everything. But she was a Cardone now, and none of that mattered anymore. “How long did my father work here?” Cal boldly and unexpectedly asked. “If you don’t mind answering,” she slyly added.

  Rankin stiffened and frowned. “Would you understand if I said I preferred not to discuss your father or those days? You know we parted on bad terms.” He waited tensely for her reaction, having been told of the arrival of Brax’s misplaced letter.

  “I won’t press you, Rankin. I just wanted to know something about him. If I didn’t have his picture, I doubt I could recall him. It just troubles me sometimes to know so little about my own father. This place is so beautiful and so special; I can’t understand why he would leave.”

  “I know it must be confusing and painful, Cal. Maybe one day we can discuss him in detail,” he relented slightly.

  If Cal was mistaken about Rankin, she could hurt him deeply by probing into Laura’s memory. She decided against any questions or mention of her. “Could I ask one last question, Rankin?”

  He nodded, but his face was lined with worry.

  “Do you ever resent me because Brax is my father? Does it make you uncomfort
able for me to live here?” She kept her gaze locked on his face.

  “That’s two questions,” he teased to calm his frayed nerves. “To be honest, at first I was leery of you. But you got under my tough skin and won my heart. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, each man stands on his own. Another can’t take his punishment or rewards. To answer your last question, not in the least. In fact, I love having you around. You’re about the most delightful creature I’ve met. I’m proud and pleased you’re a part of the Cardone family.”

  If Cal was any judge of character, he was being honest. But then again, she was too naive and trusting; she wanted and needed to believe him. She had misjudged the Simpsons. Too, the Cardone men hadn’t been frank with her. “Thank you,” she said, smiling faintly.

  “Think we should plan a special dinner for Lynx? You can wear that lovely new gown,” he hinted, fretting over her strange mood.

  She sighed heavily, then blithely answered, “I’ll wear the gown, but Salina can handle dinner. Our truce is too nice to spoil at this special time. I think I’ll take a short ride before I bathe and dress.”

  Rankin reminded her, “Lynx doesn’t want you riding alone. Take Manuel with you. Charlie’s probably working on the hands’ chow.”

  “That won’t be necessary. I’ll stay within sight of the house.”

  “I would go with you, but I need to work on the books. I’ve got to do some figuring on expenses until we make our fall sale.”

  His statement opened the door for her to probe, “I wish there was some way to replace what my father stole from you and Lynx.”

  Rankin’s smile faded instantly. “What did you say?” he asked warily, alerting Calinda to her reckless slip.

  She quickly covered it by explaining, “I wish I could replace the joy and trust my father stole from you and Lynx. Why?” she queried.

  “Forget about it, Cal,” he said sternly. “You’ve more than repaid us. Be happy here; that’s all we need. Besides, you’re part of this family now.”

  “You know something? You’ve been more of a father to me than Brax. I truly appreciate what you’ve done for me, Rankin,” she tested his reaction to those statements.

  To her astonishment, he hugged her fondly. “One day, my grandson will own all of this. I look forward to you and Lynx having a child. You’ve brought sunshine back to the ranch, Cal.”

  Cal smiled through misty eyes. If they had a son and he inherited the ranch, she will have lost nothing. Horror filled her as a wicked thought flashed through her warring mind; what if they took her child to replace the one stolen by her father? Both men frequently mentioned a baby. Their revenge would be complete: the ranch and a child, compliments of the enemy who had stolen both long ago.

  Cal shook her head to vanquish her wild imagination. What was the matter with her? She was going crazy! No one could be that evil! She must get away from this haunting house for a time and clear her wits. Cal felt she was going around in a vicious and tormenting circle. If only she weren’t so fretful and jittery these days. If she could just shake this sluggishness and this urge to burst into tears at every turn. She needed privacy and a good self-scolding to get rid of this pressure and despair. She was a grown woman, a resilient and smart one. Why couldn’t she think and act like one? She had to put a bridle on her wild imagination! She had to pull herself together before Lynx arrived and questioned her irrational behavior.

  How long could she wait for Lynx to reveal the truth? It was imperative that Lynx confess everything to her willingly, not from compulsion. She silently and desperately prayed that love, not vengeance, was the true flame in his heart. After reading her father’s letter, that endearment was no longer special or beautiful…

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Once mounted, Calinda rode straight for the hillside where Laura Cardone was alleged to be buried. She halted the snowy animal and dismounted, trying his reins to a bush. She scanned the tranquil setting where several trees and many wildflowers seemed to offer beauty in the face of dark treachery. She walked to the headstone and read. So timely and so false: September 15, the day her marriage would be three months old and Laura was claimed dead six years past.

  Cal was an adult, a Cardone. Why couldn’t she know the truth? She tried to envision Brax and Laura together, then Rankin and Laura. Were Brax and Laura happy now? How could they be after the trail of pain left behind? How ironic that she should love Lynx as wildly and uncontrollably as Brax had loved Laura, as if cruel fate were determined to mingle the two family lines. In similar circumstances, could she sacrifice all to have Lynx? What if Lynx had been married when she arrived here? Would she have fallen in love with him? If so, could she have destroyed lives to have him for her own? Could true love be so malicious and costly?

  Suddenly a rifle-shot thundered across the landscape, startling the forlorn girl. A searing pain racked Cal’s body as a bullet hurled through her left shoulder. At the stunning invasion of hot metal, Cal was jolted forward and thrown to the ground, across Laura’s make-believe grave. Despite dazed senses, she had enough wits to play dead.

  As Cal lay there, she heard pounding hooves as an unseen rider fled this evil deed. She fearfully realized she would be dead now if she hadn’t flinched at the lethal sound. As her head had jerked upwards and shifted her body, the death-intended bullet had missed its mark.

  Cal moaned as she attempted to move; pain and nausea washed over her as she glanced down at her torn shirt above her left breast where blood was flowing rapidly to soak it. She drew her gun and placed it on the ground beside her for defense if her assailant returned. She accepted the knifing pains as she tested her shoulder and arm for a break; they moved, but produced immense agony and each movement increased the flow of fiery liquid.

  Her fingers touched the wound, her blurring vision staring at their crimson tips. Shot, someone had actually shot her! Why? Who? Cal pressed her shaky hand against the wound to staunch the heavy flow of blood, her action tormenting the injury. She struggled to rise; she knew she must reach her horse and get home. She swayed precariously, her senses whirling in ominous warning.

  If she passed out and no one found her soon, she would die. She crawled to the nervous animal and used her quickly vanishing strength to yank the reins free of the bush. If she could manage his back before losing consciousness…She commanded her head to clear and her body to function. Cal gripped his foreleg and attempted to pull herself up to the saddle, smearing scarlet fluid over his white hide. She grabbed the horn, but blackness challenged her. Slowly she sank to the ground, leaving a bloody trail down the saddle and animal.

  Cal was too weak and fuzzy-headed to mount. In desperation, she lifted a fallen branch and thrashed the animal’s legs, startling him and sending him racing off. She prayed he would run for home and not halt to graze. His solo return should entreat someone to come looking for her. She rolled to her back, her right arm falling over the earthly mound beside her. Cal tried to resist the threatening blackness, but it was too powerful. The last thought she remembered was watching the leaves gently over her head and thinking, if I die…

  “Don’t tell me you let her go riding alone,” Lynx chided his father on his return to discover their nettling disobedience.

  “She’ll be fine, son. She said she’d stay close by. You’re just annoyed she isn’t here to greet you,” Rankin teased his son.

  “I didn’t see her when I rode up,” he argued, an uneasy feeling coming over his lithe frame. For some inexplicable reason, he recalled her jest about a mental link with him, especially in times of peril. He implausibly shuddered. “You know how stubborn and impulsive she is. She could be anywhere. I’ll go find her.”

  Rankin chuckled at his son’s displeasure. “Think you’ll return in time for dinner?” he jested, recalling their tardiness on his last visit.

  “Maybe. Maybe not,” Lynx quipped, grinning mischievously.

  “You just missed her; she left about thirty minutes ago,” Rankin informed him. “
I’ll walk you to the stable. I need to ask Steve a question. You and I can talk later.”

  As they approached the corral, a noise drew their attention to the east; it was a riderless horse coming in. Rankin hastily shouted, “That’s the horse Cal was riding when she left!”

  Lynx ran toward it, then seized his reins. The bright red blood stood out alarmingly against the horse’s ivory hide. “It’s blood!” Rankin shrieked as he joined his son, who was gaping at the stains and tensing in panic. For a moment, Lynx thought his heart had stopped.

  “He came from the east slope. I’ll go after her,” Lynx stated in a deceptively calm voice, his insides turning as he re-saddled Star. He tested the blood smears. “They’re fresh. She must have been thrown and injured,” he concluded as he swung into his saddle. “Damn her!” he snarled angrily in mounting apprehension. “Get some of the men to help search for her. Fire three shots when she’s located.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Rankin called out.

  “No time to wait,” Lynx shouted over his shoulder.

  Lynx headed in the direction from which the horse had arrived, his eagle eyes scanning the terrain as he galloped along. On the crest of the first hill, he halted and looked around, seeing nothing. He raced wildly to the pond, finding nothing there. Dread filled him. She could be bleeding to death in some hidden location! The one thing which gave him hope was the realization she had attempted to mount.

  As Lynx guided Star one way, then another, he noticed hired men had joined his frantic search. Lynx kept recalling the appearance of mysterious letters, Cal’s previous kidnapping, her peril in Lampasas, the day he and his father were bushwacked, that tampering with her saddle girth…Why had he ignored so many warnings?