Toronto, Mississippi
Page 2
JHANA:
Okay. C’mon. Buffalo.
MADDIE:
Thanks, Bill.
JHANA:
Daddy’s on incoming Buffalo! Let’s go.
MADDIE:
How’d it be if we asked Daddy to come here?
JHANA:
Okay!
MADDIE:
Bill?
BILL:
I’m just a boarder.
MADDIE:
We’ll phone him when I come home from shopping. He won’t be out of bed yet.
JHANA:
Okay. Phoning Daddy!
MADDIE:
When I come home.
JHANA:
C’mon.
MADDIE:
When I come home from shopping. And when you finish vacuuming.
JHANA:
Okay. Bill’s on the vacuum too. In helping.
BILL:
I’ll give you a hand. If you’ll do some of the dusting.
JHANA:
And you’ll do some of the dusting! Daddy’s on incoming Buffalo. Here!
JHANA exits.
MADDIE:
We’ll ask him for tomorrow. He should have Sunday off.
JHANA:
(off ) Okay!
BILL:
When was the last time you saw him?
MADDIE:
Easter. I took Jhana up to Ottawa. He looked lousy, kind of overweight.
BILL:
Elvis in his later years. What a dedicated impersonator.
MADDIE:
He only does the early stuff. In fact, he’s the only one who does early Elvis. He thinks Presley really died when he signed with RCA. Did you tell him I was out with someone last night?
BILL:
Did you want me to?
MADDIE:
Isn’t that stupid? We haven’t lived together for nearly a decade but I still love turning the knife. Just a tad.
BILL:
I told him you were out with a brilliant young poet.
MADDIE:
David?
BILL:
Top of the line.
MADDIE:
David owns a chain of dry cleaning stores.
BILL:
Pretty tough competition – the King of Rock n’ Roll.
MADDIE:
David isn’t competing with King or anyone else, unfortunately. He’s nice enough, but sort of a jerk when it came to Jhana. After he met her, he told me she had a sort of grace – in the bovine sense. He writes poems about nature … as a hobby.
BILL:
God help me.
MADDIE:
He’d never heard of your book.
BILL:
What? The man must live in a cocoon. David the dry cleaning poet. I like that actually. I think all poets should be dry cleaners.
MADDIE:
He knows sweet nothing about kids let alone someone like Jhana. I’ll be back in an hour. You don’t have to worry about cleaning. I’ve done piss all this week. Okay?
BILL nods, and puts early Elvis on the stereo. MADDIE exits.
JHANA enters running.
JHANA:
Daddy’s on Buffalo!
BILL:
Yes ma’am. Before this song ends you and I are going to do the fastest dusting job ever.
JHANA:
Okay.
BILL and JHANA dust to the music. JHANA dances and imitates Elvis.
BILL:
Remember how your mum got so pissed off last night about not having the paper in your purse?
JHANA:
The paper in your purse. It’s in a new house Bill. On Buffalo. Daddy’s on Buffalo. In Princie’s mouth.
BILL:
Maybe it’s lost.
JHANA:
Maybe it’s lost.
BILL:
So what we’re going to do is copy out your name, address and phone number. I’ll do the printing if you tell me what to say. Agreed?
JHANA:
Okay.
BILL:
So, do you have a name or what?
JHANA:
Jhana.
BILL:
I want the whole thing.
JHANA:
Jhana Gladys Kelly.
BILL:
You got a phone number Gladys? I might want to ring you up sometime. I might want to take you on a date.
JHANA:
Okay.
BILL:
I might want to take you for a beer. Or to a rock concert. How do I do it? What’s your phone number Jhana Gladys Kelly?
JHANA:
692-4444.
BILL:
Good. I’ll call. What if I want to come to your house. Where do you live?
JHANA:
Here.
BILL:
I need an address angel.
JHANA:
I live at … I live at three, nine, three, nine, three, nine. I live at three TWO nine Chisholm Avenue.
BILL:
You’re a wizard.
JHANA:
Wizard. She’s out on a date. Out on a date on Buffalo.
BILL:
What city do you live in?
JHANA:
Buffalo.
BILL:
Nope.
JHANA:
Chisholm Avenue. Tupelo. Tupelo, Mississippi.
BILL:
Toronto, angel.
JHANA:
Toronto, angel. Toronto, Mississippi.
BILL:
Close.
JHANA:
You’re Andrew, right?
BILL:
Never heard of him.
JHANA:
At her workshop. Me and Andrew. He’s funny, right?
BILL:
Andrew’s a guy you work with?
JHANA:
He’s funny. He’s drying my face after lunch. Being tall. Right?
BILL:
If you say so. You like this guy?
JHANA:
Okay. You’re Andrew, right? For pretend Bill.
BILL:
Okay. But no funny stuff Jhana Gladys. You got that? It’s after work and we’re just talking. In a café. Okay?
JHANA:
Yes.
BILL:
So what’ll you have. You wanna beer?
JHANA:
Diet coke please thank you.
BILL:
C’mon. Have a beer. You’re old enough.
JHANA:
Okay.
BILL:
Wow. You give in real easy. Wanna go to bed? Wanna get married?
JHANA:
Okay.
BILL:
No Jhana. Not okay. It’s our first date. All right?
JHANA:
Diet coke please thank you.
BILL:
You live at home?
JHANA:
Chisholm Avenue.
BILL:
You don’t talk much. Can’t you ask me a thing or two?
JHANA:
Okay.
BILL:
(pause) So …
JHANA:
Princie’s not south. Buffalo or that. He’s dead. Right?
BILL:
Can’t follow you.
JHANA:
He’s not on the patio. Not sleeping. It’s sunny in his back. Princie.
BILL:
Who the hell’s Princie?
JHANA:
Her dog.
BILL:
Whose dog?
JHANA:
Jhana Gladys Kelly. Chisholm Avenue.
BILL:
Repeat after me: Princie was my dog. He’s dead.
JHANA:
Princie was my –
BILL:
Jesus, what am I saying. You’re not supposed to talk about death on a first date. It’s against the rules.
JHANA:
You’re not allowed Bill!
BILL:
So sweetheart, you like working alright?
JHANA:
Sweetheart.
BILL:
What do you do exactly?
JHANA:
Fine thank you.
BILL:
Right.
JHANA:
Right! (pause) Sweetheart.
BILL:
You hungry?
JHANA:
(rehearsed) Do you like Italian food?
BILL:
Sure. Pizza and that is pretty –
JHANA:
(rehearsed) I like it very much.
BILL:
Terrific. We’ll eat a king-size.
JHANA:
Daddy wears the suits. Right? You don’t wear them. Only black. Don’t wear a white suit.
BILL:
Whatever you say. This is a great pizza. You like it?
JHANA:
Diet coke please thank you.
BILL:
Top of the line. (suddenly choking and coughing) Jesus! It went down the wrong way.
Help me.
JHANA:
Sweetheart.
BILL:
Do something. Please!
JHANA:
Andrew’s being funny. He’s being tall.
BILL:
Call someone! What the hell’s that number?
JHANA:
Nine … She hates nine one one!
BILL:
I’m dying here, Jhana. How am I gonna date you again?
JHANA:
(picks up receiver) Nine one one on Bill! (slams it down)
BILL:
That’s not how you do it. Okay, fine. Andrew just bought it on an olive. His heart was broken. Death by dating. The defunct Andrew.
JHANA turns on the stereo.
BILL:
Off. Right now, Jhani. You wanna hear about my first love? I was around your age. No. I was sixteen but looked forty. Her name was Diane and she was eighteen and divorced. She also had a dead sister – car wreck I think – which made Diane quite famous locally.
JHANA:
Headphones, Bill.
BILL:
I’m spilling my guts here. You know Jhana, if Elvis’ last girlfriend had taken a life skills telephone course, the King of Rock n’ Roll might still be with us. And your father would be making his living singing “Light My Fire.”
JHANA:
No more nine one one!
BILL:
Okay. Headphones are swell.
JHANA puts on headphones and sings phrases of songs, hums.
BILL:
Actually Diane and I barely made it past kissing. She was hoping to get back together with her ex. He was haywire. You can read all about it in my first collection: Love and the Need for Firearms, unpublished.
JHANA:
(singing) Shake, shake and roll. Shake, shake and roll.
BILL:
Oh. It’s the first roll in the hay you want to hear about. That’s easy – some creature I picked up at the library. I was twenty-seven. She was around ninety. Not romantic enough for you? Well screw you then, Miss Raw Sexual Energy. No doubt you’ll jump another passenger on the Woodbine Bus and give him the business.
JHANA:
Hi, Bill.
BILL:
Hi, angel. Your first time will happen in the best way possible. Where should we make it? July on Yonge Street. Just getting dark. He’ll be from … Kenora. Better yet, Lake-of-the-Woods. No. Fuck the northern stuff. He’s from Etobicoke and sensitive. Maybe it really will be this Andrew. He’ll be a complete wizard when it comes to money-counts back his change. Knows what colour means what amount. Jhana and Andrew – a regular pair. So don’t shut down. When Andrew feels your skin, hair, all those hidden and rough places-he’ll be able to re-make the entire world.
Scene Three
Spot is up on KING, costumed like Elvis, at microphone, singing an early Elvis song.
Lights fade down on KING and come up on set, it is the next night. JHANA, BILL and MADDIE are getting ready for dinner.
JHANA:
The celery is late. Before dinner, Bill, You going to eat it? Like Daddy? (shows him plate of celery sticks)
BILL:
Did you make that?
JHANA:
Yes.
BILL:
What’s inside there? It looks like porridge.
JHANA:
Cheese, Bill. In Daddy’s mouth. Where is it lately?
MADDIE:
The celery and cheese are perfect. We will eat them before dinner when your father gets here. He isn’t late Jhana. He’ll be here in half an hour.
JHANA:
Half an hour. He isn’t here now.
BILL:
Shortly. You look pretty. Is that your dad on your shirt or the real Elvis?
JHANA:
Yes. Princie isn’t here. He’s dead, Bill.
BILL:
Sure is.
JHANA:
I’m pretty.
BILL:
You’re absolutely gorgeous. You’re gonna knock him out.
JHANA:
Knock him out! Mum? He isn’t here. He’s on the stereo. (puts on Elvis record)
MADDIE:
This is your father’s day off, Jhana. I’ll bet the last thing he wants to hear right now is Elvis Presley. Put on one of Bill’s Donovan records. He keeps them under his pillow.
BILL:
Liar.
JHANA:
Liar, Bill. Daddy isn’t listening. Is he?
MADDIE:
Maybe you should start calling him Dad. Daddy sounds babyish. Don’t you think?
JHANA:
Don’t you think Bill?
MADDIE:
Try it out. “Hi, Dad. Nice to see YOU.”
JHANA:
Hi Dad. Nice to see you Dad. Celery Dad. By me. Bill is dead. Dad.
BILL:
I am not! Maybe a little tired but –
JHANA:
Bill is maybe a little tired Dad. (turns up stereo)
MADDIE:
Turn it down! Now Jhana.
JHANA puts on headphones.
MADDIE:
Did you buy the wine?
BILL:
In the fridge.
KING enters, wearing regular clothes, carrying a short white cape covered in sequins and an overnight bag.
MADDIE:
Good Lord. We have a doorbell you know.
KING:
Sssshhh … (sneaking up on JHANA and wrapping the cape around her)
JHANA:
Daddy! This is yours too?
MADDIE:
(whispering) Say Dad, Jhana.
KING:
Hi, Maddie.
MADDIE:
You two remember each other?
BILL:
We met last winter when I moved in.
KING:
Right. How’s it going?
BILL:
Splendid.
KING:
You got a new haircut, Jhana. It’s great.
JHANA:
It’s great, Dad. This is mine, Dad? (referring to cape) Elvis Presley is here! He’s on my back.
MADDIE:
Nice cape.
KING:
Some fan gave it to me.
MADDIE:
Is the show going okay? I read a review in the Buffalo paper.
KING:
You bought a Buffalo paper? That’s nice Maddie.
MADDIE:
It’s good.
JHANA:
It’s good, Dad. And it’s celery. Made for by me. Dad. (BILL reaches for a piece of celery.) Don’t!
MADDIE:
Your Dad can’t eat a whole plate. It’s for everyone.
JHANA:
Eat it Bill too. Okay, Dad?
KING:
Okay. How’s school Jhana?
JHANA:
It’s working.
MADDIE:
Jhani’s doing her first placement at a workshop – assembly stuff.
KING:
Good for y
ou darling. You’re building cars?
JHANA:
Okay. You hate it, Dad.
KING:
What?
JHANA:
The workshop. You’re with the screws in a bag. Screws in a bag. Four of them in a bag.
BILL:
Wine?
JHANA:
Okay. (referring to cape) We’re beautiful Dad.
MADDIE:
Just one glass, Jhana. Me too, Bill. Thanks.
BILL exits.
KING:
So you put four screws in one bag. What else?
JHANA:
Lunch.
KING:
And?
JHANA:
Coffee. Twice. With Andrew.
KING:
Who’s Andrew.
JHANA:
The boy there. You’re liking him Dad? And me? You’re gonna sing?
KING:
Maybe after I have a drink. Maybe after supper.
MADDIE:
Where’s the tour going?
KING:
Eastern states. Detroit after this. I brought a list in case anything comes up. You alright, Madelaine?
MADDIE:
Fine. Eat your celery, Dad. Jhana’s sort of screwing up at the workshop. Right?
KING:
Why?
MADDIE:
Probably bored. If she does okay there are some great programs she could get into. Jhana? No Elvis, okay? Put on something quiet.
JHANA:
Okay Dad?
KING:
Fine. Is school alright?
MADDIE:
Same as ever. My grade twelve class is good. Bill’s come in a couple of times. He did his thesis on Margaret Atwood, so that’s a help. I don’t know. I guess I’m a little tired of it.
BILL enters with wine and newspaper.
KING:
Can I see that paper?
BILL:
“An invigorating and nostalgic look at – ”
KING:
I hate that nostalgia shit. That’s not why I’m up there.
BILL:
But it’s a great review. If my last one was half that good –
MADDIE:
You’ve been reviewed more than once?
BILL:
Not in the strictest sense but –
KING:
I thought you were a professor.
BILL:
T.A. One course.
MADDIE:
Bill’s published a book of poetry. It’s very good.
KING:
I didn’t know people still wrote poetry.
JHANA:
(handing him book) This is Bill. Dad.
BILL:
And I didn’t know people would still come out for Elvis.
KING:
For eternity man. Wow. Some picture. I mean it’s good and looks like you but it’s like there’s this knife in your gut. Sixty-eight pages.
MADDIE:
That’s normal for poetry.
KING:
At eleven ninety-five. You must be making a mint.
BILL:
There is a knife in my gut.
MADDIE:
There’s a sequence in there called “Black Morning” that made Bill a bit of a celebrity. In fact he’s doing a reading from it this week … it’s been anthologized, twice … I’m going to check on dinner.