At Her Feet

by Rebekah Weatherspoon

  “So you’re apologizing to me because you don’t want to be punished anymore?”

  “Yes, and I’m apologizing because what I did was truly fucked up. I can’t believe I kicked you.” She looks up at the ceiling, shaking her head. “You did not deserve that and I totally understand if you don’t forgive me, but I am sorry. Part of my punishment has been listening to a lot of Bizzy’s lectures. She explained that I need to express this side of myself, but she refuses to let me disrespect Pilar or anyone in her care. We talked about the difference between being bratty and being a complete shithead. She said she wouldn’t tolerate me being a jerk, and I saw that she was right.”

  “Took a little fear though, didn’t it?”

  “I think that’s the only thing that would have worked.”

  “I was punished after you left for my little outburst,” I reply.

  “Punished how?” There’s a glint of arousal in Holly’s eye, and in this weird way it’s what starts turning my opinion of her. She’s a little sick, but so am I. She wants to share; she wants someone to talk to. So do I, but we have one more thing to clear up.

  “You basically said you’d try to steal Pilar from me if things didn’t work out with Bizzy. I really didn’t appreciate that.”

  “I’ll level with you. Pilar is hot. Extremely hot, but Bizzy is the right person for me, and even if we did break up, I think being with someone close to her would be a really bad idea.” She lets out a little snort of laughter. “I’ll probably move to a different state.”

  “I know a mistress in Phoenix.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Thank you for the bear and the tea set. I would like it if we could get along, but you know, fool me once.”

  “I get it. I totally get it. I am in no way looking to piss Bizzy off like that again, and even though you might not believe me, when I see that I’ve made a mistake I rarely repeat it. I don’t enjoy hurting people either, and once she set me straight, I saw that I’d hurt you. I am sorry.” I think she’s telling the truth, so I accept the olive branch.

  “Pilar paddled my ass purple, and then when I had my own little sub frenzy meltdown, she made me sleep in a chastity belt, and then she spanked me again.”

  “Oh, that’s brutal. Bizzy likes the paddle, too. My ass is still sore, and she pushed my crib out in the hallway. Do you know how awkward it is sleeping in a crib when it’s in the middle of a hallway?”

  Okay, so I laugh this time. “I can only imagine.”

  Holly nods toward my new bear. “I was serious about humping the bear. It feels amazing.”

  “I’ll run it by Pilar. You ready to go to Disneyland?”

  Holly springs to her feet with a smile. “Yep.”

  *

  The drive to the theme park isn’t too long. Bizzy drives. Holly and I sit in the back and talk about work. Well, Holly does. I’m half listening because I’m watching Bizzy and Pilar out of the corner of my eye. I’m intrigued by their relationship now that I know something of its roots.

  Bizzy reaches over and touches Pilar’s denim-covered knee. “You look great, kid,” she says. The top buttons of Pilar’s polo are open so I imagine Bizzy catches a glimpse of her cleavage as she glances away from traffic.

  Holly taps my hand and startles me out of my staring. She waves me over to her side of the backseat.

  “Don’t worry. They’re just friends.”

  “I know.” I try not to sound defensive or naive.

  “You want to hear my plan for the day?” she says. I glance quickly toward the front seat, and when I see that my Mami and her Daddy are still focused on each other, I nod.

  She leans closer and whispers her little scheme in my ear. I’m nervous at first, but once I hear her out, I think Holly is onto something.

  “What are you two whispering about back there?” Bizzy asks.

  Holly shrugs and sweetly bats her eyelashes. “Nothing, Daddy. I swear.”

  “Mhmm. Suzy, don’t let this one talk you into anymore trouble.”

  “I won’t,” I say. “I promise.”

  Pilar reaches back and squeezes my knee.

  *

  The park is packed. It’s Saturday and schools are finally out. Pilar takes my hand and we follow Bizzy and Holly through the sea of people. When we finally hit a patch of pavement that isn’t filled with kids and stressed parents, we decide to get in line for our first ride. It’s a long line.

  Bizzy is well distracted by Holly, and by the look on Holly’s face it seems like Holly has put her plan into action. She catches my eye and winks.

  There are kids around, but I don’t see much wrong with draping my arms over Pilar’s shoulders. Her eyebrow goes up as she gazes down at me.

  I rise up on my tiptoes and whisper in her ear.

  “What would you do to me if all these people weren’t around?” I look her in the eye, just to see if she’s willing to play along. She is.

  “Well, my Suzy. If we were home it would be time for your nap.”

  I lean back, scowling at her. “That’s not what I meant.”

  She spins me around so we can move forward a little in the line. Pilar nips my ear with her teeth.

  “Why don’t you tell me what you’d want me to do?” she whispers.

  To our left, three teenagers are very interested in Pilar’s hands on my stomach. I wait until we move a little more before I turn around again.

  “I want you to spank me and I want to play with your nipples.”

  She doesn’t say a word. Her silence tells me she’s turned on. She spins me around again and marches me toward the first ride. I know I’ve got her. The rest of the afternoon and evening goes this way. For Holly and Bizzy, too. Everywhere we stop they have some quiet exchange. Bizzy has Pilar’s same eerie control, but a few times I catch her looking at Holly like she’d risk getting booted from the park just to bend Holly over to put her money where her mouth is.

  Pilar lets me rattle off fantasies as we move around the park. At first it’s for my own enjoyment, but as a series of unfortunate events start to plague Pilar, I keep dropping hints to cheer her up.

  First, a little girl dressed as Princess Belle comes sprinting toward us, ice cream in hand. Pilar almost dodges the kid, but only enough to end up with a smashed vanilla cone pressed into her thigh. The girl’s mother is too busy cleaning up the girl to even apologize to Pilar.

  We stop for dinner and Pilar orders a chicken dish that tastes a little south of fresh. She tries to eat half of it before Bizzy and I both encourage her to send it back.

  By the time we make it to the fireworks, I can tell Pilar is ready to go home. Apparently the universe decides it’s tortured Pilar enough and moves on to me. Always the friendly lady, as we wait I find myself having some mindless chatter with a toddler on the shoulder of a man in front of us. We’re discussing the finer points of nonsense when the kid sneezes on me. More accurately, in my mouth.

  My shriek of disgust is part laugh, part display of horror. Thank God the boy’s mother whips out a pack of wipes and gives me enough to scrub down my whole body. Though I wish I hadn’t heard her say, “Jim, I told you we should have stayed home. He’s been sneezing all day.” She hands me a miniature bottle of water anyway, to help me wash out my mouth. Still, the damage is done.

  Holly is trying not to laugh beside us, but I don’t blame her. Pilar and I are a mess.

  The fireworks are an amazing spectacle, almost worth the trek back to the parking lot. Holly is suctioned to Bizzy by the time we make it to the car. Pilar rides in the back with me. I follow Holly’s cue once more and nuzzle my head into Pilar’s lap as soon as I get into my seat belt. Her thigh still smells like vanilla.

  When I wake up, we’re pulling up Pilar’s street. We say a quiet good-bye to Bizzy because Holly is dead asleep.

  Inside, Pilar tells me to get ready for bed. We both shower in our own bathrooms. I brush my teeth like four times. When I find Pilar in her bedroom, she doesn’t look so hot. She�
�s sitting on the edge of her bed, still wrapped in her towel.

  “Mami, are you okay?” I ask from the doorway.

  She looks a little pale as she glances over at me.

  “Yes, baby. I’m fine. You’re going to sleep with me tonight.”

  There’s no way I’m arguing with that invitation, so I hop onto the bed and wait for Pilar to shut down the house. When she joins me under the covers, I spoon her back because she seems like she needs it. She doesn’t argue. She also doesn’t say anything about my hand resting firmly on her boob. I go to sleep happy.

  Chapter Eight

  I wake up confused. Pilar’s not in bed with me. I hear her in her bathroom, puking her guts out. I jump out of bed and run to check on her. She’s a sweaty mess, bent over the toilet. I brush her hair off her face as more comes back up.

  “It was that chicken, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah,” Pilar says on a short breath. “Baby, go into the kitchen and get the bucket from under the sink. I think this might be coming out of both ends soon.”

  “Oh, shit. I mean. Okay. Sorry. Bucket. Got it.”

  I find a big yellow bucket right where she said it would be. I run it back to Pilar, who has made her way to leaning against the sink. I see it on her face; there’s about fifteen seconds before her composure slips.

  “Where do you want this?” I ask.

  She holds out her hand and takes the bucket from me.

  “Thank you, baby. Now get out. You don’t need to see this.”

  I leave her alone, closing the door behind me, and then I call home.

  My dad answers. I ask him if he has any home remedies for food poisoning. He suggests a dispensary down in Venice. I tell him I’m not asking Pilar to smoke weed. He says he’ll ask my mother and call me back.

  When I get off the phone, I know Pilar needs her privacy, but I can’t sit still. I go throw on a T-shirt, then pace around the living room. Finally, my mother calls me back. In her heavily accented Patois, she asks me who Pilar is, then gives me the third degree as to why I didn’t tell her I have a new girlfriend. Eventually, she tells me just to wait it out, that I should crush some ice to help Pilar rehydrate. She says she’ll text me a recipe for some soup that’ll help when she’s keeping food down again. She tells me to take her to the hospital if things get worse.

  I know I sound helpless, but I’ve never been sick like this before and it’s hard to see Pilar so done in. I’m a little scared. I thank my mother and then I wait.

  Pilar is in the bathroom for a long time. When she finally comes out, she looks terrible. I encourage her into bed even though she refuses my physical assistance. When I go back into the bathroom to clean up, I find that she’s already washed out the bucket.

  I join her back in bed, keeping my distance because she isn’t in the mood to be touched. Twenty minutes later, she’s sprinting back to the bathroom.

  It’s a long day. I get her to drink some water and suck on some ice. I’m caught unawares when Joanna pops up at the door and asks if I want to come play. I feel bad for saying no, but I’m in Suzanne mode. Suzy’s not home right now.

  Liam comes through again and drops off some soup, clear soda, crackers, and miscellaneous medicine. My mother’s recipe is complicated as hell, and once I read the ingredients, I remember the smell from my youth and I’m sure the aroma will make Pilar puke all over again.

  By the time eleven p.m. rolls around, though she hasn’t gotten worse, it’s clear she isn’t getting much better. I already make plans to work from Pilar’s house the next day.

  By the next afternoon, she’s starting to improve. She keeps down a whole bowl of soup and only finds herself in the bathroom once in the course of some hours. She insists on changing her own sheets and tells me to shower and eat something myself. I tell her that I have no appetite, and that lack of appetite holds strong right through the following morning, when Pilar seems back to one-hundred percent and I have a raging fever.

  In some very superficial way, I think I want to die. I’ve never felt so shitty in my entire life. My whole body hurts, and I’m developing a nice coating of sweat. I wrack my brain thinking of how this could have happened to me. I don’t think food poisoning is contagious. But during one of my rambling fits amidst a quest to find a comfortable position on my side, Pilar reminds me that I had a kid sneeze in my mouth. I realize then that I’m probably going to die from the plague that little brat has given me.

  I hold up my head long enough to make a feverish call into work. Valerie feels bad for me, or at least she sounds that way. She offers to handle 21 And Up for me until I’m back on my feet. I thank her even though I’m kicking myself. Catching up with that shit is going to be a mess.

  I hear Pilar tell me to stop swearing before I slip into a fitful sleep.

  I’m out of the office for the rest of the week.

  On Thursday, the cabin fever sets in. Pilar moves me to the couch because I can’t stand another minute of looking at just the four walls of her bedroom. She’s taking great care of me, and I will freely admit that I make a much whinier patient than she did. I want to get out and walk around. I want a burger, but it’s obvious, even to me, that I’m still sick.

  Friday afternoon, I snap. I’m still feeling crappy, but my fever has lifted. I’ve been at Pilar’s for over a week, and it’s been almost a week since we’ve had sex. I need her to touch me before I go completely insane. I excuse myself to the bathroom, and when I come back, I’m in my favorite pair of lace-trimmed panties and nothing else. I crawl across the floor, regretting it immediately, but I won’t let the light-headed feeling stop me from getting to Pilar’s lap.

  She puts down her knitting and looks at me as I make my way to her with a false sense of confidence. She lets me get close enough to raise myself up with my forearms on her thighs. She smiles down at me. “Would you like to tell me what you’re doing?”

  “Please. I’ll die if you don’t touch me. Please.” I flop my head down on her lap. Maybe she’ll have some sort of mercy on me. She rubs my forehead, then cups my cheek.

  “You’re still a little warm and congested.”

  “I know, but I’m so horny. And I’ve heard that orgasms help boost your immune system. Please.”

  Pilar is quiet for a moment before she stands up. “I’ll be right back. Sit down. I know you’re light-headed even though you’re pretending you’re not.” I keep my excitement under control as she slips out of the room. When she comes back, she has her vibrator. I move so she can take her seat back in her big chair. She pulls me into her lap with my back to her chest.

  I press my luck because I’m feeling a little bit more like myself and a little bit desperate. I turn a little toward her.

  “Can I play with your nipples?”

  “No,” she says. “Turn around and no pouting or this is not happening.” I sigh and settle back into place.

  She starts with her fingers. I was really horny in my head, but I’m not wet until she touches me. She slides her hand into my underwear and spreads my lips over my clit. She bites my neck.

  “When you’re feeling better I’m going to shave you down here. I want to see what you look like bare.”

  I shiver in her arms as I nod in agreement. My mind flashes to her licking my pussy. I can’t help but squirm. She cups my breast, massaging gently. I squirm some more, trying to get her fingers a little farther down. She licks my cheek.

  “Stop moving or I won’t let you come.” I hold still and feel her cruel huff of breath against my skin. “That’s what I thought.”

  I don’t know what I’m thinking when I propose these things. I don’t know what’s going through my head when I think she’ll give me exactly what I want, right when I want it. Then again, she seems to know me so much better now. She knows coming isn’t all I want. She knows I want her to torture and tease me. Getting off is merely the end of our transaction. I want everything that she’s selling and I’ll pay with my acquiescence. I do my best to relax. Pilar can
feel it across my skin. She holds me tighter and slides her fingers lower. She kisses my jaw, then drags her tongue over my skin, down to my shoulder.

  “Mmm, I’ve missed touching you, baby,” she says.

  “I’ve missed having your hands on me.”

  She slides two fingers inside of my pussy. My hips lift on their own. She pinches me lightly. I whimper, but I do my best to hold still. She kisses my shoulder again and starts to fuck me harder.

  Once I’m close, she pulls her hand away and reaches for the vibrator. It’s the high-powered plug-in. My own of the same style is a go-to when I’m in a hurry. Knowing Pilar, she’ll use it as a torture device. I’m right. She shoves my underwear down my thighs, then puts the rapidly vibrating head right on my clit. I arch in her arms, coming hard. Her arm snakes around my waist and holds me to her chest. I come again and again, and I realize she’s not going to stop until she’s ready. And she’s not ready until long after I’m pleading and squirming. She’s not ready until she’s subdued me with two fingers in my mouth. She’s not ready until I’m limp in her lap with my come coating my thighs and her pants. She’s not ready until I have nothing left to give. I’m breathing easier once she turns the vibrator off, though I can barely lift my head. She puts the cruel toy to the side and then she pinches my nipples.

  “You know what, baby?” she whispers in my ear. “I think it’s time for your nap.”

  *

  Even though I’m feeling better, Pilar makes me take it easy for the rest of the weekend. Sunday she shaves me as I sit on the edge of her tub. I’m completely turned on by the time she’s done, but she puts me to bed aching for her touch. In the morning she wakes me for a full, balanced breakfast to help me face the day. If had a choice, the first full week I stay over at her house wouldn’t involve either of us becoming violently ill or having fever dreams about being trapped in an amusement park, but if I had to get sick, I’m glad Pilar was willing to take care of me.