“Can I tell you what I need if we do option three?”
“You need more. You need to be my little girl all the time.”
I nod. “I felt selfish and foolish before, but it’s what I wanted almost from the beginning.”
“The weekends and the occasional weeknights aren’t enough.”
“Right. I didn’t know that I could be this way. I thought it was a bad thing to want to be submissive all the time, but it’s not. It’s what fulfills me. I think that’s why I liked working for that—” I skip the “bitch.” “That not-nice lady. Before all this, I could sense her dominating personality, and it made me feel comfortable to be around that energy.”
“You should have gotten that from me.”
“I would’ve liked that. But you were right. I was pushing. I wasn’t trusting. I was making a mess of things.”
“So you need that consistency,” Pilar says. “But I think you need more than that. You need to experiment with more kinks and fetishes. You want me to push your physical boundaries further.”
I nod again. “You’re right. I love how gentle you are with me, but I feel like I have a masochistic side that I’ve been denying. Laurel was trying to hurt me. Like actually hurt me, but now I want to cultivate my relationship with pain. And even bondage and deprivation.”
“I can do those things with you.”
I put the bracelet down on the table. It sucks to ask the next question, but I have to.
“Is that what you want? I know you can. I don’t doubt your abilities in any aspect, but I don’t want you to push you outside of your comfort zone just to make me happy.”
She nods back and flashes me the most devastatingly sexy smile. The fear inside me instantly turns to molten lust. My pussy starts to pulse with moisture. I flex my thighs and shift in my seat. Pilar notices. “Trust me,” she says. “I know what I want and what I can handle. I think I was trying to be careful with you. I didn’t want to push you too far. You’re an emotional girl, but that doesn’t mean you’re weak. We can do more. Much more.”
“Okay.” I bite the inside of my lip. I’ve made up my mind. “Can I have a few minutes to myself? Just to think.”
“Of course. I’ll be in the other room. Call me when you’re ready to keep talking.” With a gentle brush of her fingers across my shoulder, Pilar leaves me alone.
I’m giddy for a few moments. I did what I needed to do. I stuck up for myself. I stopped letting Laurel-related fear get the best of me, and I told Pilar exactly what I wanted. And she agreed. Still, I force myself to take a step back. I stand and walk over to the counter. Do I want this? I ask myself. I want her. At the very least the sex is too damn good to give up. At the most I would marry her, no questions asked. I would grow old with her. Make home improvements together. Get a dog. I would do all that shit. Easily. But if I’m being completely honest with myself, I’m not just someone’s girlfriend. I’m something different.
I take a few breaths, then call Pilar back to the kitchen. She finds me by her chair, on my knees, naked except for a pair of her pink-and-purple-plaid panties with tiny bows on the hips. I have the collar in my hand. She sits down with ease and confidence, but her eyes give her away. She’s all business. She’s a little nervous.
Pilar takes the collar from me. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Yes, Mami.”
“You want to be my little girl, with me, always under my rules and my instruction and my care?”
“Yes, Mami. I belong with you, always. Naked at your feet. I want to be yours.”
She runs her fingers over my hair, then smoothly runs her fingers down my cheek until she grips me lightly by my chin. The start of arousal turns to a full gush as she leans closer. “I made a mistake. You needed me, and instead of being there for you, I hid. I ran away. When your trust was fragile, I pushed you away. I will never do that again. Ever.”
Her thumb brushes a few tears from my cheek. “Thank you, Mami.” I say. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Valerie sooner. I was scared.”
“All’s forgiven.” Pilar smiles, that genuine, gorgeous smile, and like that I’m Suzy puddle right there on her kitchen floor. “You can keep your place until we square things away, but you’ll stay with me.”
“Of course, Mami. Always.” I smile through my tears now.
She buckles the leather around my neck. Not too loose, not too tight. I love the fresh smell of it, but I can’t wait until it smells like me, like us. My sweat and her rose-scented perfume. “Just so you know, Valerie didn’t force my hand. I ordered this and your bracelet last week, but I wanted to wait until you took some time off work.”
“Well, I’m off work now,” I say with a cheeky cock of my head. Pilar tweaks my nose as I giggle.
“Francis is dealing with her.”
“She is?”
“Uh-huh. Give me your wrist, baby.” I hold up my hand and watch as she secures the shiny metal around my wrist. It’s perfect. Elegant and strong, just like my Mami. She touches my cheek again. “Francis and Bizzy have deep connections in the community. People have been warned about her, and she’ll never bother you again.”
I almost breathe my thank you. I think for a second that I don’t deserve Pilar’s love or Bizzy’s and Francis’s protection. But I do, and I’ll earn and take them every day of the week.
“I love you, little girl.” Pilar leans closer and brushes her lips against mine. I love her, too. I tell her. She kisses me deeper and I’m lost, swimming in the shallow waters of my little space, anxious to go deeper. I want to ask what’s next, but I don’t have to.
Pilar guides me off the floor and across her lap. She pulls my underwear down around my thighs. I shiver as she strokes my ass. My collar gently presses into my skin and I breathe deeper.
“This is a spanking to cleanse. I didn’t know you needed this before, but you need it now. And I will spank you like this often. This is for my pleasure and for your release.”
“Thank you, Mami,” I gasp.
Pilar starts to spank me—firm, repetitive strokes with her hand until my skin is hot and tender, until I’m sobbing across her thighs. It’s exactly what I need. What I never got from Laurel, but what I want only from Pilar. She encourages me to tell her how I feel. I tell her I love her, that I need her, that I need her hands on my body in this way. I thank her over and over. By the end, I’m breathless, with tears streaking my face. Pilar pulls me upright and hugs me tight to her chest. She kisses me all over. She tells me she missed me, that her nights were horrible without me. I tell her the same. She tells me that once I calm down a bit I’m going to make her come. I tell her it will be my pleasure.
I wrap my arms around her shoulders and kiss her neck. “You need to be more strict with me too, Mami. You let me get away with murder.”
She pulls me closer and pinches my butt. She chuckles softly in my ear.
Later that night, after some interesting bondage play in the kitchen, Pilar sits me down and we make a list of the week’s chores on my Hello Kitty stationery. She understands that I need different types of balance in our relationship, so she’s wrapped that balance up in my submission. I do chores, and once I’m working again, I’ll help pay some of the bills like the cable and the water. Once a month I get to plan a date. It’s her idea, but I appreciate it. I like doing things for her, too. And still I’m hers. No longer pathetically single or lost in what I’m looking for.
Before bed, we both log into our kinklife accounts to make some changes. Pilar’s picture stays the same, but her status changes. I change my avatar to a cute 160 x 160 picture of me wearing my Mami’s collar. Beside that it reads: submissive to, little girl of, collared by Mami-P.
About the Author
After years of meddling in her friends’ love lives, Rebekah turned to writing romance as a means to surviving a stressful professional life. She has worked in various positions from library assistant, meter maid, middle school teacher, B movie production assistant,
reality show crew chauffeur, D movie producer, and her most fulfilling job to date, lube and harness specialist at an erotic boutique in West Hollywood.
Her interests include Wonder Woman collectibles, cookies, James Taylor, quality hip-hop, football, American muscle cars, large breed dogs, and the ocean. When she’s not working, writing, reading, or sleeping, she is watching Ken Burns documentaries and cartoons or taking dance classes. If given the chance, she will cheat at UNO. She was raised in Southern New Hampshire and now lives in Southern California with an individual who is much more tech savvy than she ever will be.
You can find Rebekah at letusseeshallwe.blogspot.com.
Books Available from Bold Strokes Books
At Her Feet by Rebekah Weatherspoon. Digital marketing producer Suzanne Kim knows she has found the perfect love in her new mistress Pilar, but before they can make the ultimate commitment, Suzanne’s professional life threatens to disrupt their perfectly balanced bliss. (978-1-60282-948-0)
Show of Force by AJ Quinn. A chance meeting between navy pilot Evan Kane and correspondent Tate McKenna takes them on a roller-coaster ride where the stakes are high, but the reward is higher: a chance at love. (978-1-60282-942-8)
Clean Slate by Andrea Bramhall. Can Erin and Morgan work through their individual demons to rediscover their love for each other, or are the unexplainable wounds too deep to heal? (978-1-60282-943-5)
Hold Me Forever by D. Jackson Leigh. An investigation into illegal cloning in the quarter horse racing industry threatens to destroy the growing attraction between Georgia debutante Mae St. John and Louisiana horse trainer Whit Casey. (978-1-60282-944-2)
Trusting Tomorrow by PJ Trebelhorn. Funeral director Logan Swift thinks she’s perfectly happy with her solitary life devoted to helping others cope with loss until Brooke Collier moves in next door to care for her elderly grandparents. (978-1-60282-891-9)
Forsaking All Others by Kathleen Knowles. What if what you think you want is the opposite of what makes you happy? (978-1-60282-892-6)
Exit Wounds by VK Powell. When Officer Loane Landry falls in love with ATF informant Abigail Mancuso, she realizes that nothing is as it seems—not the case, not her lover, not even the dead. (978-1-60282-893-3)
Dirty Power by Ashley Bartlett. Cooper’s been through hell and back, and she’s still broke and on the run. But at least she found the twins. They’ll keep her alive. Right? (978-1-60282-896-4)
The Rarest Rose by I. Beacham. After a decade of living in her beloved house, Ele disturbs its past and finds her life being haunted by the presence of a ghost who will show her that true love never dies. (978-1-60282-884-1)
Code of Honor by Radclyffe. The face of terror is hard to recognize—especially when it’s homegrown. The next book in the Honor series. (978-1-60282-885-8)
Does She Love You? by Rachel Spangler. When Annabelle and Davis find out they are both in a relationship with the same woman, it leaves them facing life-altering questions about trust, redemption, and the possibility of finding love in the wake of betrayal. (978-1-60282-886-5)
The Road to Her by KE Payne. Sparks fly when actress Holly Croft, star of UK soap Portobello Road, meets her new on-screen love interest, the enigmatic and sexy Elise Manford. (978-1-60282-887-2)
Shadows of Something Real by Sophia Kell Hagin. Trying to escape flashbacks and nightmares, ex-POW Jamie Gwynmorgan stumbles into the heart of former Red Cross worker Adele Sabellius and uncovers a deadly conspiracy against everything and everyone she loves. (978-1-60282-889-6)
Date with Destiny by Mason Dixon. When sophisticated bank executive Rashida Ivey meets unemployed blue collar worker Destiny Jackson, will her life ever be the same? (978-1-60282-878-0)
The Devil’s Orchard by Ali Vali. Cain and Emma plan a wedding before the birth of their third child while Juan Luis is still lurking, and as Cain plans for his death, an unexpected visitor arrives and challenges her belief in her father, Dalton Casey. (978-1-60282-879-7)
Secrets and Shadows by L.T. Marie. A bodyguard and the woman she protects run from a madman and into each other’s arms. (978-1-60282-880-3)
Change Horizons: Three Novellas by Gun Brooke. Three stories of courageous women who dare to love as they fight to claim a future in a hostile universe. (978-1-60282-881-0)
Scarlet Thirst by Crin Claxton. When hot, feisty Rani meets cool, vampire Rob, one lifetime isn’t enough, and the road from human to vampire is shorter than you think… (978-1-60282-856-8)
Battle Axe by Carsen Taite. How close is too close? Bounty hunter Luca Bennett will soon find out. (978-1-60282-871-1)
Improvisation by Karis Walsh. High school geometry teacher Jan Carroll thinks she’s figured out the shape of her life and her future, until graphic artist and fiddle player Tina Nelson comes along and teaches her to improvise. (978-1-60282-872-8)
For Want of a Fiend by Barbara Ann Wright. Without her Fiendish power, can Princess Katya and her consort Starbride stop a magic-wielding madman from sparking an uprising in the kingdom of Farraday? (978-1-60282-873-5)
Broken in Soft Places by Fiona Zedde. The instant Sara Chambers meets the seductive and sinful Merille Thompson, she falls hard, but knowing the difference between love and a dangerous, all-consuming desire is just one of the lessons Sara must learn before it’s too late. (978-1-60282-876-6)
Healing Hearts by Donna K. Ford. Running from tragedy, the women of Willow Springs find that with friendship, there is hope, and with love, there is everything. (978-1-60282-877-3)
Desolation Point by Cari Hunter. When a storm strands Sarah Kent in the North Cascades, Alex Pascal is determined to find her. Neither imagines the dangers they will face when a ruthless criminal begins to hunt them down. (978-1-60282-865-0)
I Remember by Julie Cannon. What happens when you can never forget the first kiss, the first touch, the first taste of lips on skin? What happens when you know you will remember every single detail of a mysterious woman? (978-1-60282-866-7)
The Gemini Deception by Kim Baldwin and Xenia Alexiou. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but lies. Book six in the Elite Operatives series. (978-1-60282-867-4)
Scarlet Revenge by Sheri Lewis Wohl. When faith alone isn’t enough, will the love of one woman be strong enough to save a vampire from damnation? (978-1-60282-868-1)
Ghost Trio by Lillian Q. Irwin. When Lee Howe hears the voice of her dead lover singing to her, is it a hallucination, a ghost, or something more sinister? (978-1-60282-869-8)
The Princess Affair by Nell Stark. Rhodes Scholar Kerry Donovan arrives at Oxford ready to focus on her studies, but her life and her priorities are thrown into chaos when she catches the eye of Her Royal Highness Princess Sasha. (978-1-60282-858-2)
The Chase by Jesse J. Thoma. When Isabelle Rochat’s life is threatened, she receives the unwelcome protection and attention of bounty hunter Holt Lasher who vows to keep Isabelle safe at all costs. (978-1-60282-859-9)
The Lone Hunt by L.L. Raand. In a world where humans and praeterns conspire for the ultimate power, violence is a way of life…and death. A Midnight Hunters novel. (978-1-60282-860-5)
The Supernatural Detective by Crin Claxton. Tony Carson sees dead people. With a drag queen for a spirit guide and a devastatingly attractive herbalist for a client, she’s about to discover the spirit world can be a very dangerous world indeed. (978-1-60282-861-2)
Beloved Gomorrah by Justine Saracen. Undersea artists creating their own City on the Plain uncover the truth about Sodom and Gomorrah, whose “one righteous man” is a murderer, rapist, and conspirator in genocide. (978-1-60282-862-9)
Cut to the Chase by Lisa Girolami. Careful and methodical author Paige Cornish falls for brash and wild Hollywood actress Avalon Randolph, but can these opposites find a happy middle ground in a town that never lives in the middle? (978-1-60282-783-7)
on Archive.
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