by Brie Paisley
I hate how confused this man makes me.
A short while later, the driver arrives at my home. I quickly get out, wanting to go directly to bed, but I stop and turn around when I hear Viktor shut his door.
“What are you doing?” I ask. I really thought he’d just drop me off and leave. I need him to do just that.
“I want to walk you to your door. Something wrong with that?”
“No, I guess not.” I sigh as I turn to walk up the steps. I pull my keys out of my bag and I unlock the door. When I open it, I turn around again. Viktor’s right behind me, staring at me with those lust filled eyes again.
“Goodnight, Viktor.”
He reaches up and pushes my hair behind my ear. His light and innocent touch takes my breath away. I can feel my heart racing, and I know my face is red. I can feel Viktor staring at me, and I glance up at him. For a second I think he’s going to kiss me again. I lick my lips, wanting him to kiss me again. I want to feel his lips on mine. I want to taste him again.
“Goodnight, Ava,” he says and then he’s gone.
I step inside, and I shut the door. I turn my back to the door and I lean against it. I’m breathing too fast. I close my eyes, hating that I feel rejected he didn’t want to kiss me. It’s stupid for me to feel this way. Viktor makes my body act in a way that I’ve never felt before. I sigh as I open my eyes, not wanting to think of him anymore. I cannot have this man. There’s no way I can let him in. I fear if I do, he will hurt me and then leave me. Just like Malcolm. And I cannot let that happen to me, or Gabbie.
I set my bag down, and I realize I still have Viktor’s jacket on. He didn’t ask for it, and I wonder if he did that on purpose. I quickly take off the heavenly smell of his jacket and I toss it over the couch. I walk directly up the stairs, to my bed, and fall into it. I lay still for a few moments before I jump out of bed, run down stairs, and grab his jacket. I crawl back into bed with it wrapped around me. I take a deep breath, inhaling all I can of him. I close my eyes, trying to let sleep finally overcome me.
I can’t help when I do fall asleep, my dreams are consumed with nothing but Viktor.
I wake up the next morning to smelling bacon. The smell is so strong, that I have to make myself get up after my stomach starts growling. I’m still in my sleep fog, but the smell is so strong for me to imagine it. I rub my eyes and yawn as I look down and realize I still have Viktor’s jacket on. No wonder why all I could dream about was him. I slowly get out of bed and I take off his jacket. I walk downstairs only having one thing on my mind, and that’s eating the bacon that’s somehow cooking by itself. Either this a really great dream, or someone is in my home.
I’m almost in the kitchen when I see him. He doesn’t see me, and I turn right around and hide on the last step on the stairs away from him. I’m instantly awake now. I curse myself for giving him that stupid key. I lightly bang my head against the wall. I don’t want to see him right now. It’s bad enough that he saw me practically naked. Now he wants to see me while I have bed hair and morning breath. Maybe this is a good thing. If he sees how ugly I am in the morning, it’ll scare him off.
Viktor Matvei is going to be the death of me. I slowly peek my head around the wall and my mouth opens slightly when I see him. My stomach flutters seeing him in his white button down shirt. His sleeves are rolled up to his strong biceps and I think that he shouldn’t look so hot with just a simple shirt on. I slowly rake my gaze down, taking in his dark slacks. Even his ass looks perfect. I close my eyes, leaning against the wall. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to look him the eye after last night. This isn’t how I wanted to start my day.
I move from my hiding spot as he places the dishes in the sink. I let myself look at him again while his back is turned. God, it should be illegal for him to look this good. And this is his back side. I shake my head and cross my arms over my chest. I wish now I would’ve put on a bra. It’s not fair my damn nipples decide to pucker at the sight of him in my kitchen.
“What are you doing here?” I ask hoping my voice sounds as strong as I think it does.
He turns around with a grin on his face. Some days I would really like to smack that shit eating grin off his face. He shrugs his shoulders as he says, “Making breakfast. Or more like brunch.”
“I can see that. But why are you here in my kitchen making brunch?” Viktor places two pieces of bacon a plate and my mouth starts to water.
“I thought you might be hungry, so I cooked.”
I throw my hands up, giving up on him actually answering my question to why he’s cooking me brunch. Why would he want to cook for me? I don’t ask him anything else, and I drop my arms to my side. I forget all about my hard nipples showing through my shirt, but Viktor notices. His eyes zero in on them and when I realize what he’s looking at, I blush and cover myself with my arms again. He clears his throat a few times, and I walk over to the kitchen island and sit down on the stool.
“Do we need to talk about last night?” I hope he says no. I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about what happened last night.
“No.”
I let out a sigh in relief. “Alright. Do we need to clarify anything between us? The contract is still intact, and I want to make sure you follow it. I can see how you are already bending the rules for me and I know you placed them there for a reason.”
“Eat.” He tells me like I’m a five year old. He totally ignores everything I just said.
“Viktor?”
“Ava.”
“Why are you ignoring my questions?”
“Because I want you to eat,” he says simply.
“Fine.” I roll my eyes at him and I start to eat. I let out a moan when I bite into the bacon. I haven’t had bacon in months. The strict diet doesn’t allow it to be a possibility. But today, I really just don’t care about watching what I eat. Viktor stands on the other side of the bar and watches me as I eat. He seems assumed by me, but I don’t care what he thinks. I’m enjoying my bacon. He needs to go away and let me eat in peace.
“Good?”
“Mmm hmm.”
Once I’m done eating, Viktor takes my empty plate away and places it into the sink. I remain on the stool, wondering what he’s up to. Viktor has never been to my home without Gabbie being here, and now that it’s just him and I, it starts to make me question how I feel about it. When Gabbie is here, I can use her as an excuse to stay away from him. She’s my buffer. I know that might seem like I’m a horrible mother, but it sounds worse than it really is. Gabbie is like my shield against Viktor. The only thing is, I think he knows that as well. Now that it’s just us, alone, with no one here to distract me, anxious doesn’t even start to cover how I’m feeling.
“Why are you always so nervous to be around me?” Viktor asks, and I don’t answer right away. I don’t know how to answer that yet. I still have no clue why I’m nervous around him, but then again, when he’s near I feel the most comfortable. Like last night. I was nervous all night until I was around him. All these emotions are too much for me to comprehend.
So instead of admitting this, I avoid the question. “I’m not nervous. I’m going to go shower,” I snap back at him as I make my way to go upstairs. I don’t get very far when I hear that demanding voice of his.
“Ava.”
“No, Viktor. I … I just can’t go there. I’ve been burned once before, and …” I sigh running a hand across my face. “I just can’t, okay? Plus you never answer any of my questions, so no. I don’t owe you anything.” I start to turn and walk away but I stop and say, “Thank you for cooking, but I think you need to go.”
He sighs and throws the dish towel he has over his shoulder onto the counter. “Fine, but we are going to talk about this. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but mark my words, we will be having this conversation again.”
I watch Viktor as he storms out of the house and slams the door as he does. I sit on steps, and rest my head in my hands. I have no clue what Viktor wants from me.
I thought I’d be safe and he would leave me alone once I signed the contract. I guess I was wrong.
One year later-present time
The music from the club vibrates off the walls in the dressing room. I sit at my vanity, while the other girls rush and run around trying to get ready for their turn on stage. My turn ended a short while ago. I gaze at myself in the mirror still not sure who this person is staring back at me.
A lot has change over the past year.
Not only has Gabbie grown like a weed, she’s so smart for an eighteen month old. I smile thinking of her and how much she has changed. She keeps me on my toes at all times and the things she does keeps me very entertained. There isn’t a day that she doesn’t do something that makes me burst out in laughter. I’ve no clue where she picks up on some of the things she says or does. Just a few days ago, she told me she wanted Ariel to come live with her. When I told her Ariel couldn’t because she lived under the sea, she calmly stated that she could come live in the bath tub. Her exact words were, “But mommy, hers can wive in the tub. Hers needs wader to breeve. Cause hers a fish.” I couldn’t argue with her logic.
Gabbie isn’t the only one who has changed. I’m not the same timid and self-conscious girl anymore. Since working for Viktor, I’ve slowly gained confidence. No longer worrying so much of what people might think of me or what they say. I’m sure of myself now. I’m not as shy when I walk into the club anymore and I’ve gotten used to stripping for the clients. Even all the girls walking around topless doesn’t bother me. I’ve gotten the hang of being a single mother. Granted, Viktor is always at my house helping me. He never leaves. At one point I really thought he was going to move in.
Things between Viktor and I haven’t changed much. I don’t know if I want them to. I’m still scared, and I really don’t want to go through another heartbreak. Viktor has the power to ruin me for life, and I know if I give into him, it’s a huge risk. I will admit, he has gotten better at giving me space and not flirting with me. I still catch him staring at me, or reaching out to me only to realize what he was doing, then he’d drop his hand back down to his sides. Those are the times I want to say the hell with the contract. The hell with being afraid. I hate that I miss when he used to touch me lightly, like a lover would. I hate that I’ve gotten used to him being around. He still watches me every night I work and every time I dance. It’s sort of our thing now. Viktor helps me in some weird fucked up way. I know I couldn’t continue to dance for money if he wasn’t out there, sitting in that chair, watching me.
“Scarlet, you have a request for a private dance in room four.” I hear Margo tell me and I sigh knowing my break is over. I nod to her and I turn back to the mirror. I touch up my red lipstick and sit back looking over myself once more.
I’m definitely not the same girl.
I might look like Ava, but right now Scarlet’s here, and she’s ready to make money. I don’t consider letting her take over a problem. An addiction, yes. Making this kind of money is consuming. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever known before. Almost half of what I make goes into a savings account for Gabbie. I only use what we need, preferring to save most for Gabbie’s future. Then having all the attention focused on me when I’m on stage, it’s very powerful feeling. I want to say I can stop whenever I want, but deep down, I’m not sure if I’ll ever want to stop. Being Scarlet Rose has let me grow as a person, and I’ve never felt more like myself that I hid away, and more beautiful than I do when I’m working.
I get up, and take off my robe. I toss it over my chair and I go stand in front of the full length mirror. Once I approve of how I look, I follow Margo to the private room. Tony, my very own personal body guard compliments of Viktor, follows right behind me. I don’t mind Tony being around. He’s my extra protection I need now days while I’m at work. Since that first night of dancing, I’ve gotten very popular. Everyone seems to want more. The night I was cornered by three drunk customers, was the only time I wanted to quit. Viktor being Viktor, took care of everything. Those men were banned from ever returning to the club, and the next night Tony showed up. I feel safer when he’s around.
Margo stops when she gets to room four and opens the door for Tony and me. I hear her shut the door and I give the client a once over before I tell him the rules. The client looks to be in his mid-forties. He’s wearing a suit, but his balding head and his pot belly make me think he’s a father or a grandfather. He seems uptight and uncomfortable in the suit and tie. We get men like this all the time. I hope this one doesn’t offer to take me away from this life and promise me the world. Even men have a Cinderella fantasy. It’s happened so many times now, that I usually ignore it. I don’t understand why these men think this life’s so horrible. He does look nervous and I have a feeling this is his first time. I hear the client clear his throat and I begin the ritual before starting. It’s becoming a habit to tell them how the private dance will go, before I get down to business. Tony leans against the wall close by the door and crosses his arms over his chest. The client moves uncomfortably seeing how big and scary Tony looks. I find it amusing since Tony’s like a big teddy bear. At least to me he is. I’ve seen him beat the shit out of client once.
I walk to the center of the small private room and I put a hand on my hip. I tilt my head to the side trying to figure out what would work best for the client. Everyone’s different. They all want different things. This one, I think just wants to talk. And I don’t do talking while I dance.
“This is how it’s going to go. You are never to touch me. You see this big guy behind me,” I tell him as I point to Tony. The client gulps and nods. “Good. If it even looks like you’re about to touch me, Tony will escort you out of the club. No refunds either.” I walk closer to him and I lean down so he’s focused on me instead of Tony. I can see the sweat forming on his forehead and upper lip. “Keep your hands behind your head. Follow these simple rules and I’ll give you the best thirty minutes of your life. Got it?”
The client nods, and shifts in his seat. He moves his hands behind his head, and I turn to Tony. I nod my head at him and he reaches over to push the red button for the music for the room. It’s very convenient each room has its own sound system. I reach down to the side of the recliner the client’s sitting in and I pull the lever to lean him back more. I kick his feet apart and when I hear the music come on, I straddle him. I don’t miss the intake of his breath or the look on his face. I start to slowly grind my hips onto him and I put my hands on either side of him. I lean my body towards his, making my tits come very close to his face. I see him watching me. I feel him tense underneath me and I know he’s fighting hard not to get a boner.
I grab his tie with my hand as I lean back and roll my body on his. I get off him slowly and bend down to my knees. I run my hands on his legs and rub my body on his as I slowly come up to his face. He clears his throat and I know he’s about to start talking.
“Have you been doing this for a long time?’ he asks and I can smell the whiskey on his breath.
“No talking,” I warn him as I continue to grind and move on him.
“Why don’t you let me take care of you?” And there’s the million dollar question. The one every single client asks.
“I said no talking.” I turn my back to him and put my ass on his crotch. I move around on him some more and I lean my back against his chest.
“This is not a life you have to have. I can give you anything you want.” I look up at Tony and I can see he’s trying not to laugh. I roll my eyes as I whip around to face him. I sit hard on his lap, and the client jumps. I slowly run my hands up his pot belly, trying very hard not to show how disgusting he is, and I grab his tie. I roll it up while I smile sweetly to him and then, I shove it in his mouth.
“I said, no talking.”
I hear him try to speak, but his words are muffled by the tie. I continue to work him over, enjoying it a bit more now that I can’t hear his words. Every time I do a private dance, I can’t help when my mi
nd starts to wander. I think of him sitting here instead of an uptight and disgusting stranger. Dark green eyes stare back into mine as he watches me. It’s his broad and strong shoulders I hold onto as I roll my hips and press my breasts in his face. His unique smell fills my nose and I take in a deep breath taking it in. It’s all for him. I can’t help my mind from thinking of Viktor. As much as I fight him, I know there’s some sort of connection between us. I know by the way my body comes alive just thinking of him. My heart starts to speed up, as does my breathing. My body flushes with heat knowing how much Viktor would love for me to do this to him. How much I want to do this to him. I ignore the muffled sounds the client makes as I think of Viktor. Of Viktor’s hands on me as he directs how me wants me to move. Of him reaching up to pinch my already hard nipples. I can feel how rough and hard his hands feel against my skin and I let my head fall back as I let out a small moan. I continue to move with my hips and my legs as Viktor runs his hands up my thighs. Going to the spot where I want him to touch me the most. I feel him getting closer and closer to my pussy. His movements are slow and he enjoys teasing me. I can feel the brush of his finger on the outside of my panties then he--