by Brie Paisley
The loud buzzer going off snaps me out of my fantasy. I look down to see the client staring at me, panting. I reach up and pull out his tie from his mouth and I get off him. I don’t say a word to the client or to Tony as I walk out of the room. I don’t hear what Tony tells the client before I make my way back to the dressing room. I’m in a daze with Viktor still clouding my mind. I don’t know why I always think of him when I do a private dance. I don’t even feel guilty for thinking of him while I dance either. The first time it happened, I told myself I wouldn’t go there again. But I did, and I still do. I don’t try to figure out the reason behind it as I come closer to his office. I might not be able to have him in real life but my fantasies can’t be stopped.
His office door is slightly ajar and I can hear him and Sebastian talking. They speak in Russian, and the conversation seems heated. Viktor’s voice is raised and I shake my head at hearing Sebastian talk back to him. I’ve gotten used to hearing them argue when Sebastian’s here. I’ve no clue why they’re always going at it. No one at the club does. Viktor keeps his private life and the club under a tight leash. No one even knows when his birthday is.
Trixie and I tried once to get it out of him, but that didn’t go over so well. Margo told us more than once to stay out of Viktor’s business. I tried once more when he was over at the house, but he of course, ignored me and brushed me off. I gave up trying to find out. All I wanted to do was give him a little something for his birthday.
I pass by his office and I turn down the hall to the dressing room. My shift for tonight is almost over and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t ready to go home. I miss my little girl like crazy, and the last night of the week when I work is always the worst to get through. Even if the club’s busy like tonight, I can’t wait to pick up Gabbie from my parents in the morning. It’s become a normal routine for us. I work my four nights a week, then for the next three days, Gabbie and I spend every second together.
Trixie’s cleaning up her vanity as I walk in. Some of the other girls are doing the same as others change into different outfits for their last turn on stage. I walk over to my locker and pull out my bag of comfy clothes. I turn and head to the dressing room where I quickly change. I can hear the girls laughing and talking outside the room, and when I walk out, they come over to me to show me why they’re having a blast.
“OMG,” one of the girls named Star says. She draws out her O-M-G as she shows me the schedule for the VIP room.
“It’s too bad you can’t get in on this party. It’s going to be epic, Scarlet!” Candy or maybe Glitter, I think her name is, says. I don’t even feel bad that I can’t remember her name. She just started a few days ago. Apparently, and according to her, she came highly recommended. So far, I’m not impressed.
“I’m fine missing this one. The last one I did, was a bit too much for me.” I tell the group of girls.
“Yeah, but Scarlet, look who’s on this list! OMG, we’re going to make so much money. Not to mention all the hotties we get to dance for.” Candy or Glitter, tells me as she shoves the list in my face. I push her hand with the list out of my face. I don’t even look at it. I’m just ready to go home.
“Let me know how that goes. Just be glad they didn’t request me, or I’d have to show you girls how it’s done,” I say playfully.
“As if!” she says to me as she whips her long hair over her shoulder. She smiles and blows me a kiss as she walks over to the few girls that walked back into the room. I roll my eyes and I catch Trixie laughing at me. We both think she’s a bit annoying, but she’s fun to be around at times.
Trixie gets up from her chair and says, “You done for the night?” Trixie and I’ve become close over the past year, but I still have yet to tell her anything about my life outside the club. I’m still sticking by that rule, even if I’m struggling to follow the other one. That stupid rule that says Viktor and I can’t do anything like I’d want. I sigh, trying to push away my tempting fantasy of Viktor. It never fails right after I have one, of us, it’s harder to me to keep pushing him away.
“Yeah, I’m going to see Viktor about my ride.” I tell her as I hug her goodbye. I still don’t know if any of the girls know it’s always Viktor that gives me a ride home every night I work. Trixie hugs me back and I wave goodbye to the other girls as I pass by them.
I shut the door behind me and I head towards Viktor’s office. I hope they’re finished arguing. I walked in on them once, and I walked right back out. Those two fight more than I’d think brothers would. I don’t hear Viktor’s voice when I get to his door and I knock just to be sure. I open up the door just enough to poke my head in when he tells me to come in.
“I’m ready when you are. I’ll be by the bar.” I tell him and I don’t wait for him to say anything as I quickly shut the door and walk through the club towards the bar. Seeing him sitting behind his desk, looking like sex on a stick is definitely not something I need to see right now. My judgement is clouded, and I shake my head hard trying to stop the images of us together in my private room. Why couldn’t Viktor be ugly? Why do I have to be so attracted to him?
I’m thankful that the remaining patrons in the club don’t notice me in regular clothes. I sigh when I sit on the stool by the bar hoping Viktor hurries up. I see Tony from across the room and he nods his head at me. Even though my shift is over, I know Tony will keep an eye on me until I leave. I turn in on my stool facing the bar. I order a water and start drumming my fingers on the top of the bar, waiting impatiently for Viktor to come on. I want to go home, get some sleep, then wake up later to get Gabbie. It’s crazy how much I miss her when she stays with my parents.
I take another drink of my water, growing more impatient. I don’t know what’s taking Viktor so long tonight. Normally he’s ready to leave before I am. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around to see who’s touching me. I didn’t expect to see Sebastian. He smiles a mischievous grin and takes a seat next to me. I haven’t really talked with him much since I make it my business to stay away from him. I know nothing of him besides he works here and he’s Viktor’s younger brother.
“What do you want, Sebastian?” I ask him knowing he’s up to something and shirt away from his touch. He’s always looking for ways to piss off Viktor. I overheard one of the girls talking about him one night and how he deliberately does things to piss of his brother.
“Something wrong with me getting a drink?” he says smoothly. He stares at me, almost as if he’s daring me to say something.
“Nope, nothing wrong with that. I’m confused to why you chose to sit by me, instead at the other end of the bar.”
He orders a scotch on the rocks and turns back to me. “I can see why my brother is so … intrigued by you.”
“What’s with the cryptic talk? If you have something to say, just say it.” I roll my eyes and take another gulp of my water. Sebastian always makes me bristle.
“Oh, come on now, Scarlet. You know exactly what I mean. There’s no need for me to be cryptic. Everyone can see how much Viktor is fond of you.”
“What ... what do you mean everyone?” Fuck! I want to think Sebastian’s trying to get a rise out of me. Instead of playing into his games, I deny what he’s saying. A part of me doesn’t want to believe it either. “And I still have no clue what you’re talking about. Viktor and I are just … friends. If you could even call it that. He hired me and I work for him. Last I checked he does that a lot.” He just hired Candy, I think that’s her name, a few days ago. God, I hope that’s her name because that’s what I’ve been calling her.
Sebastian takes a drink of his scotch and eyes me carefully. I feel as though he’s trying to read my mind or something. I have a feeling he’s trying to start more drama. He always finds a way. “Maybe you’re right. It’ my mistake for bringing it up. But,” he says as he looks over his shoulder. I don’t follow his eyes, since I’m too distracted by what his hidden meaning is. “I want to show you something,” he tells me as he slowly gets o
ff his stool.
He leans in close to me, and I back away from him. My heart kicks up a notch and I’m sure my eyes are bugging out of my head right now. “What the fuck are you doing?”
He ignores me as he places his hand on my shoulder and holds me in place. His grip isn’t hard, but it’s enough to let me know not to move and he’s in charge. I think he even smelled my hair. Then I feel his breath on my ear as he whispers, “I’m trying to prove a point. Just go with it.”
I jerk my head and arm away from him and stare back at him. “Sebastian, what the fuck are you doing? Don’t fucking touch me again.” He smiles at me and turns his head over his shoulder again. This time I follow his gaze. He’s looking towards the hallway, and that’s when I see him.
Viktor’s watching. And he doesn’t look happy about what he sees.
“Do you see now?” Sebastian says as he downs the rest of his drink and walks away from the bar, leaving me alone again.
I quickly turn away from Viktor and finish off the rest of my water. I sigh as I grab my bag and I get off the stool. I slowly make way towards him and as I reach him, he looks at me almost if he wants to say something. I open my mouth, but the words escape me. I sigh and turn away from him and I head to the back exit, like I always do when my night’s over, and open the door. The chill of the night air hits me like a ton of bricks and I almost go back inside to my locker to grab my jacket. Instead, I walk over to Viktor’s car, and I stand by it. I cross my arms over my chest and rub my hands over my arms to warm myself. I’m still not sure if it’s just the night air that’s making me so cold, or if it’s seeing the look on Viktor’s face. I have a hunch Sebastian knew Viktor would be watching us. Although, there’s nothing between Sebastian and me, I’m sure it still looked like we were something more.
“Asshole,” I say out loud and I look up to see Viktor walking towards me. He doesn’t say a word as he unlocks the car doors and I quickly get inside the car.
The car seems to drop a few more degrees as Viktor gets inside and starts the car. He doesn’t even look at me. I can tell he’s angry with Sebastian I don’t want him to think anything is going on with Sebastian and me. I want to say something, but I don’t. I know now isn’t the time to try to talk to him. I can see his jaw clenching, and I hold on tight to the door handle as he whips the car out of the parking lot. As Viktor drives down the busy streets of Nashville, I start to really think about what Sebastian said to me, and I shake my head. There’s no way Viktor’s that into me. Yes, we have chemistry and he kissed me once, but that’s it. There has been times I thought I could drop my walls and let him in, but I’m still afraid. I don’t want to be hurt again. It’s easier to keep Viktor out and keep my heart safe. I shake my head, thinking I shouldn’t listen to Sebastian. It’s possible that Viktor’s pissed off because Sebastian touched me and that’s against the rules. Yeah, that has to be it. Because if it’s something else, I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Can I let Viktor in?
I look out the window as Viktor drives a bit too fast for my liking. As we pass various buildings and other cars, I start to get nervous. I have no idea what’s going on with Viktor and a part of me doesn’t want to know. I turn to him a few times to ask, but seeing how tightly his grip on the streeling wheel is, and how his jaw continues to clench, I change my mind as turn back to staring out the window. I hate the silence and I hate he’s clearly pissed off. Why can’t he just tell me? It would be easier to know, so we could work it out. By the time we arrive at my house, the tension in the car is almost unbearable.
I glance at Viktor once more before getting out of the car. I think from now on it would be wise if I start driving myself to the club. I know I said I wanted an escort when arriving and leaving the club, but I can’t deal with this. I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t. I’ve never done well with confrontation, and I know that won’t change anytime soon.
I don’t even look back at him like I normally do when I unlock the door and step inside. I let my bag fall to the floor right by the door and I start to walk upstairs. I stop mid-step when I hear the front door close lightly. I see Viktor walk inside, still not looking at me, and he sets his car keys, wallet, and takes his watch off, setting it on the kitchen island. I don’t think much of it since he has stayed over before. Especially on Sundays. He normally goes with me to get Gabbie the following morning. I think about asking him what’s going on with him, but when he ignores me, walks over to the couch, and lays down, I know he wouldn’t tell me anyways. Viktor’s a hard man to talk to when he doesn’t want to. I’ve tried countless times to get him to open up to me. It’s another reason why I can’t let him in and let myself fall for him. I sigh and drop my head in defeat. I slowly make my way up the stairs and walk into the bathroom.
I scrub my face until all the makeup off, and change into my baggy sleep shirt. I turn off the light to the bathroom as I walk out, and I nearly jump clear out of my skin when I see Viktor sitting on the edge of my bed. “You scared the shit out of me!” I tell him with a shaky voice while I clutch my hand to my chest. It feels like my heart is about to beat right out of my chest.
He doesn’t even look up at me, and I realize my sleep shirt isn’t covering much of me. Although I’m not as shy as I used to be, I don’t know if it’s such a good idea to be half naked. With Viktor. In my bedroom. I cross my arms over my now hard nipples. Why did I have to think of us in my bed?
Viktor still hasn’t even looked up at me. His head’s down, staring at the floor. His arms are resting on his thighs, while his hands are clasped together. I can’t really see his face, but I know something’s going on with him. He has been acting stranger than he normally does since he saw Sebastian and me at the bar. I feel like I’m missing something, but I can’t put my finger on it.
“Viktor? Are you alright?” I ask calmly. I want him to tell me what’s wrong. I don’t know if can help or not, but something’s clearly eating at him. When he still doesn’t answer me, or even look up, I walk over and sit by him. I can smell his unique scent and for a moment I get lost into it. I sigh and shake my head. I can’t let myself give into his sexy smell.
“Vik? Come on, you’re starting to worry me.” I’ve come to realize when I call him Vik, it always pulls him out of himself. And this time it has the same affect. He lifts his head and looks right into my eyes. I can tell he’s fighting within himself, but I have no idea what or why he would be so tormented. His dark green eyes look confused, and full of what I think is regret. I can’t be sure, but seeing how troubled he is, it takes my breath away.
“Are you fucking him?” Viktor’s voice comes out raspy, like he has been yelling a lot at someone.
“What?” Did he seriously just ask me that?
“Are you fucking him?”
“What the hell are you talking about? Please tell me you’re not talking about your douche-bag brother.” I try to keep my voice calm, but it’s getting hard when he’s asking me stupid shit like this.
“Yes, who else would I be referring to?”
I breathe out heavily, trying to rein in my anger. How dare he ask me this? “Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but no. I am not fucking your brother. Nor am I fucking anyone else.” I get off the bed, suddenly so angry I could punch him. I cannot believe this. Why would he think such a thing?
“I don’t want you talking to him anymore.”
“Viktor, be serious right now. I barely talk to Sebastian to begin with. I can’t stand to be around him, much less be attracted enough to want to sleep with him.” I take a deep breath trying to calm myself down. Is Viktor jealous? “Did you not see me pull away from him? I told him to fuck off. Why are you acting this way?”
He rubs his hands on his legs as he slowly gets off my bed. “What did he say to you tonight?”
“Nothing, really. He said something about you, actually, but I don’t believe him. It doesn’t even matter. I want to know why you’re acting this way.”
I can’t help my eye
s staring at the bulge of muscles through his shirt when he reaches up to run his hands through his hair. He sighs loudly as he says, “I just didn’t like what I saw.” He looks me right in the eyes as he says, “I didn’t like him touching you.”
“What does that mean? We’re fighting for the same side. I don’t like him touching me either.” I say to him, but he’s already walking out of the room. “Viktor,” I call out but it doesn’t make a difference. I want to bring him back as he shuts my door, without looking at me. He shut me out, just like he always does. I plop down on my bed again, and I think about what Viktor said. Is it possible what Sebastian said at the bar was true? I always thought it was just lust, and when Viktor didn’t get what he wanted out of me, he would’ve moved on.
Isn’t that how men work? They all want one thing and when they don’t get it, they move on to the next best thing. But, wouldn’t I have noticed if Viktor was fucking someone or if he was at least involved with someone?
Yeah, probably not.
I lay back on my bed and I start to get a headache thinking about Viktor and trying to figure him out. I use my fingers to rub on each side of my head. I’ve never known someone so complicated and stubborn. But, I can’t help it when my stomach starts to flutter and my heart starts to beat faster, when I think about what Sebastian said. Is it possible Viktor is on the verge of letting down his walls like I am? I wish he would just tell me, help me figure out what’s going on it his head. I have this urge building inside of me to know everything about Viktor, and I need him to drop his wall. Maybe if he would let go of his, maybe I can do the same for him.
The next day, Viktor and I make our way to my parent’s house to get Gabbie. I told Viktor more than once I wanted to go alone this time, but he insisted on coming. The hour drive seems to go on forever and I don’t know how much longer I can stand the silence from him. I wish I knew what to say, but at the same time what could I say? Viktor obviously has something going on, and I can’t even begin to understand what that might be. I feel as though the answer’s right there on the tip of my tongue, but I’ll admit, I kind of don’t want to know at the same time.