Be daring and willing to break some rules. Check. Big-time. Her heart raced thinking about it.
Be sweet. Darn Teague for having her add that because Troy was sweet. He was charming, considerate, thoughtful. His likability quotient couldn’t even be measured. And the way he regarded Amelia was beyond sweet. It should come with a warning label: man will make your heart flutter with one look at his niece.
Will not judge me for watching reality TV. Troy may not have liked her cheese spray, but when she’d flipped on the television to watch some late-night recordings of Man vs. Wild and Project Runway, he hadn’t said a word. Just kept his arm around her.
She narrowed her gaze on the TV screen when the “breaking news” segment moved out of the studio and to Suicide Rock. A reporter was talking to Captain Sullivan.
Her body went brittle and tense and she couldn’t catch her breath. She had no idea what Captain Sullivan was saying because the only thing she could concentrate on, could think about, was Troy. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed every positive vibe she had inside her his way. She crossed her fingers and prayed for his safety.
He’s skilled in rescue techniques, she told herself. He was over his fear of heights and could do this.
She sat back down and bit her nails. Something she hadn’t done since she was fifteen.
Frito licked her chin.
A tear slipped down her cheek. Troy had to be okay. He had to be.
What an idiot she’d been not to tell him she loved him. She’d let her fear and past heartbreaks get in the way of the best thing to ever happen to her.
The news break switched back to regular programming.
And she was lost. Alone. Worried sick. Afraid.
This is how it feels. To love someone who puts their life in danger. It didn’t matter if it was for work or for fun. The sensations didn’t know the difference.
She got it now. She got how hard it would be to love someone with your whole heart knowing he or she could be hurt. Or worse.
Troy deserved to be spared this pain again.
He’d told her wanted someone safe, someone who didn’t remind him of Jamie. As much as it pained her, he needed someone boring like Candace. Someone who got her thrills adding walnuts and chocolate chips to her banana bread, not zip-lining or bungee jumping. Erin was too wild, too bold, too risky. As afraid as she was to love again, he was, too. He’d never fall for the wrong kind of girl—and she was the wrong kind.
More tears fell. She couldn’t put her heart at risk like this, and she couldn’t ask Troy to do the same for her. She had no plans to change her adrenaline-junkie lifestyle. So no matter how much she wanted to run to him and be there when he got home—because he would come home—she’d keep her butt right where it was.
She’d let him go.
…
It had taken two hours, but the hikers were out and on their way to the hospital with serious but non-life-threatening injuries. Troy wiped a hand across his brow and gave himself a mental high five. He’d never once doubted his physical abilities. Never doubted his mental toughness. The one time Jamie’s accident had entered his thoughts—when he’d gotten to the girl—he’d easily talked himself down from the anxiety and reminded himself it was an old memory. It couldn’t hurt him now unless he let it.
“You are one fearless SOB,” Oliver said, wrapping a hand around Troy’s shoulder. “Welcome back, partner.”
“It’s good to be back.”
“You ready to get out of here?”
“Give me a minute.”
Oliver nodded and moved on so Troy could look over his shoulder at the mountainside they’d just navigated. His arms and legs ached, and the muscles in his back were fatigued. Hell, even his teeth hurt.
He’d never felt more alive.
As tired as his body was, his spirit and attitude and reasons for being soared.
And that’s when it hit him with such clarity that his legs almost buckled—he was done playing it safe.
Life marched on, and deep inside he finally felt the pull to live again without a safety net. Without trepidation and regret. Because as Bree had said, there were no guarantees.
How he’d forgotten that, he had no idea.
He’d thought he knew what he had to be after losing Jamie, but he was wrong. He was done letting fear hold him back when he should be glad just to be. The more he thought back on the past year, he realized he’d lived numbed, crippled by his own misgivings. That wasn’t living. That was slowly dying, and that wasn’t the kind of man he wanted to be for Amelia. He could love her and love Erin. He could teach Amelia what it meant to adore and appreciate and admire someone unconditionally. He could honor Jack by showing his daughter how to love and be loved.
In order to do that, it was time to seize what was right in front of him—Erin.
He smiled and looked up to the sky. Rain pelted his face. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. On the other side of his fears stood Erin. She’d been there from the second he’d met her, and he was ready to cross the line and stand beside her.
He hoped he wasn’t too late.
Chapter Fourteen
Erin shoved her feet in her boots and put her knit cap on her head. She’d left mittens somewhere and searched around her old room at her parents’ house—under the Glamour magazines her mom had kept for her, under the bed, under the pile of clothes she needed to either take with her or give to charity.
A knock sounded on the door.
“Come in,” she called out.
Teague appeared and Erin’s heart broke all over again. Her baby sister’s bloodshot eyes meant she’d probably had another cry, and her trembling lip meant she might do it again.
Erin hated when people she loved cried.
The next time she ran into the SOB who’d toyed with her sister’s affections only to dump her in front of a crowd of people at the Crown & Anchor was going to get an earful. And if circumstances allowed, a knee to the groin.
“I don’t think I can go,” Teague said. She collapsed onto Erin’s bed like she couldn’t possibly keep standing.
“We’re going.” Erin sat beside her and rubbed her back. “And we’re going to have fun. We’re going to ooh and ahh and eat and drink and be merry. Okay?” She hated that her voice shook on the okay.
She hadn’t been okay since yesterday and her decision to let Troy go. She’d never been so relieved as she was when she’d heard he’d gotten the climbers and himself to safety. He’d texted early this morning, wanting to see her, but she’d responded she was happy he was all right, but she had homework she had to catch up on. She’d made up her mind to keep her distance and that’s what she planned to do. It was for the best even though it hurt like hell.
Tonight the whole Watters clan had a reservation to watch the Parade of Lights in the harbor—the first time they were all together for the annual holiday festivity since forever. Mom and Dad would be really disappointed if she and Teague bailed at the last minute because they weren’t feeling up to it.
With her face buried in the comforter, Teague shook her head.
“Know what I think?” Erin asked.
Teague answered with another shake “no.”
“That you’re strong and beautiful and that prick didn’t deserve you. The perfect man is out there. You just haven’t found him yet.”
Erin squeezed her eyes shut. She swallowed the lump in her throat that threatened to expose her sadness. Her heart ached so badly for Troy. She’d almost caved and gone to him last night after she’d heard he was okay, but then Teague had shown up at her doorstep and told her that Mr. Wonderful had done the unthinkable and broken up with her in front of anyone within earshot. Erin had still been numb from Troy’s rescue mission, but that? That incredibly insensitive move by Teague’s boyfriend had thankfully knocked some sense into her. The shock and humiliation on her sister’s face had been palpable and she’d forgotten about her own misery and stayed with her sister.
After talki
ng for a while, she’d scooped up Frito and they’d left her condo to sleep here, in her old bedroom. She’d let Teague cry on her shoulder until she’d fallen asleep.
Only then did she let her own tears fall.
“Come on,” she said, pulling Teague up with her. “Mom and Dad are waiting for us downstairs. We’ve got some boats to cheer on.”
They got to Cascade’s Harbor Village a little while later. She and Teague walked arm in arm behind their parents toward the shops and restaurants on the boardwalk. The closer they got to the water, the more the air smelled like fish, and Erin appreciated that her parents had chosen Italian tonight.
Tiny white lights wove around tree trunks, and red and white lights decorated the light posts so they resembled candy canes. Boats in the harbor were decked out with a multitude of decorations. And Louis Armstrong’s “’Zat You, Santa Claus?” poured out from speakers along the wood-planked walkway.
A good crowd had already assembled, sitting in folding chairs along the water’s edge. Mrs. Witt wore puffy white earmuffs. Mrs. Finnegan’s nose lit up like Rudolph’s. And Meredith Crem wore a gingerbread man sweater—as did the rest of her family. Erin chuckled. Mom and Dad had made them all dress in matching jingle bell sweaters one year for their holiday card and she had hated it.
Balducci’s Trattoria came into view. It served the best lasagna on the planet according to her dad, and also sat in the prime spot to watch the boats float by. They walked into the two-story restaurant and took the stairs to the second floor. Mr. Balducci himself greeted them and led the way to the heated patio where they’d have a perfect view of the harbor. Luke and Sela and Vanessa and Hayden were already seated.
Erin sat next to Sela. “Nice sweater,” Sela teased.
Okay, so she’d pulled out the light-brown-and-white checkerboard sweater with embroidered snowflakes her mom had handmade for her eons ago. It put a smile on her mom’s face.
“Careful, or I’ll have Mom take her sewing machine out of retirement and make you one.”
Sela’s eyes sparkled. “I should ask her to make a sweater for Luke. He’d die.”
“Have I mentioned that you are the best sister-in-law ever?” She put her arms around Sela in a quick hug. “That is a brilliant idea.”
Luke reached around Sela’s chair and yanked on Erin’s hair. “Hey, squirt.”
She bent her head to the side and flicked his hand away. “Hey, bro.”
He leaned forward and studied her and Sela. “You two plotting something?”
“Nope,” Erin said and took the menu offered by the waiter.
“Wait until you see Station Twenty-Nine’s boat,” Sela said from behind her menu. “They got some help from holiday lighting professionals this year.”
Oh, crud. She’d forgotten the fire department had a boat in the festival every year. Sela’s dad, Captain Sullivan, had actually started the December tradition twentysomething years ago.
Would Troy be on the boat?
Would he be able to see her from it?
She didn’t want any contact with him. “I’m sure it’s great,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t give away her nervousness.
Sela nodded and put her menu down. “Luke and I stopped by last night to see it lit up. My dad is very proud.”
Erin rolled her shoulders back and tried to pull her thoughts together. “Are all the guys on the boat? I mean they can’t all be. Some have to stay behind at the station, right?”
“Right,” Sela said, eyeing her with care because she knew exactly who Erin was talking about. That’s what happened with good friends.
Delicious family-style Italian dishes filled the table shortly after. Erin dropped not one but two ravioli, spilling marinara sauce on her sweater. Luke asked if she wanted a bib. She was so pulling out the sewing machine when she got back to her parents’ house.
As soon as they’d finished eating, Sela grabbed her hand and stood. “Okay girls, let’s head down for a front-row seat.”
Wait. What? Erin liked where she was just fine.
“My mom’s saved a few spots for the Watters women.” Sela flashed an excited grin and Erin found herself unable to argue. “Don’t think, just have fun,” she whispered to Erin.
Front row meant at the end of the main dock. One jump and Erin could land inside a passing boat, since they drifted by at a snail’s pace. No chance of her going unnoticed now.
Unless…
“I just remembered—”
Sela shushed her and pushed her back down into her blue-and-white-striped director’s chair. “Here they come.”
At least she sat in the second row and could slouch like nobody’s business. She should have just told Sela she didn’t want to see Troy.
Popular light scenarios decorated the first few boats—Santas, Christmas trees, candy canes. Every floating tribute to the holidays got cheers and waves from fans. Erin applauded with the crowd and when the next boat with a giant inflatable surfing Santa and white lights in the shape of swimming dolphins skimmed by, her posture had improved tremendously. She couldn’t help join in the festive spirit.
More beach-themed trimmings in all sorts of colorful lights followed with palm trees, whales in Santa hats, and snowmen in board shorts.
“Station Twenty-Nine is next,” Sela said, jumping to her feet and cupping her hands around her mouth to give a very loud “woo hoo.”
And oh, wow. The large sailboat took Erin’s breath away. The two sails were covered with twinkling white and blue stars, and gold lights in the shape of a half moon smiled from the middle of the mast. The simplicity and beauty charmed like none of the other boats had, and she had the silly urge to wish upon the stars. She glanced up into the dark sky. No moon tonight, but countless tiny bright lights did wink back.
The boat got closer. The guys on board were all in uniform and wore either a Santa or elf hat. Except one—he had on reindeer antlers. And a smile directed right at her. Seeing Troy in the antlers flung her back to their time in the tree house and her heart lurched, like it were stretching to reach him.
“Come on!” Sela grabbed her under the arm and hauled her away from their chairs.
“Where are we going?”
“On the boat.”
“What?”
“Don’t wimp out on us.” Sela let go and joined Teague, their mom, and Mrs. Sullivan at the edge of the dock, ready to leap. Erin looked back. Vanessa rubbed her big belly and smiled.
“Now!” Sela said.
Erin whipped back around. Sela, Teague, and their moms leaped and landed inside the boat, Captain Sullivan and Oliver catching them. Her eyes found Troy.
“Don’t be a chicken, Watters,” he called out. “Jump!”
She bristled because he knew she wouldn’t refuse now, and went for it. Big, strong, way-too-comfortable arms wrapped around her. A very hard chest pressed against hers. She looked up into Troy’s far-too-attractive face.
“I’ve gotcha,” he said.
Her traitorous body relaxed, liking his warmth, his feel. Lifting on tiptoes, she had no other thought but to kiss him in thanks.
Whoa. Slow the heck down. She was through with him. It was best for both of them if they stayed away from each other.
Remembering her place and what she’d decided, she pushed him away. “I don’t need you to catch me.”
“Erin?” He sounded at a loss and she couldn’t blame him. Her tone was clipped, unfeeling. But she’d stick to her guns.
“You made it,” Captain Sullivan said, stepping beside them and saving her from further conversation with Troy. “You had me worried there for a second.”
She waved off his concern and smiled. “Just letting the other girls go first.”
“That was so fun,” Teague said, bouncing up behind Troy.
Erin beamed at her sister. The evening had really helped Teague feel better. She’d known her sister would rally back, and hoped the cheerfulness stuck around.
Oliver approached next, looking a little
green around the edges and with a hand on his stomach.
“Hey, Oliver. You okay?” Erin asked.
“Feeling a little seasick.”
“Come with me,” Captain Sullivan said. “I’ve got just the remedy.”
Applause and whistles sounded from behind Erin. Oh yeah, this was a parade. She turned and waved back at the spectators. Troy and Teague joined her. Several of Cascade’s single women looked especially enamored with their boat, or make that their “crew.” A couple of them wore firemen helmets and shouted, “Got any room for us?”
“Can I talk to you?” Troy whispered in her ear.
“I don’t think now’s the best time,” she said, thinking there would be no good time.
He laced his fingers around her mittened ones.
She cut a quick glance at him and gave herself five more seconds to hold his hand.
“Come on.” His firm tone and hold on her hand left no room for her to decline. He tugged her to the other side of the boat where things were quiet and nothing but the expanse of tranquil sea had their backs.
Underneath the holiday lights on the sails, his eyes glittered like gold when he canted his head down. He studied her, like he wanted to read her mind, and for a brief moment she wished he could. Longed for him to see that her heart had let him through and what did he plan to do with it?
She blinked away that irrelevant thought.
“There’s something I need to say to you,” he said.
She shook her head. It didn’t matter what he had to say. Rational or not, she didn’t want to hear it. His words would only hurt. If he said he cared about her and wanted to see where this thing between them might lead, he’d only be prolonging the inevitable breakup when he decided she was too reckless for him. And if he said he couldn’t keep seeing her, she wasn’t sure she could hide the pain of her heart being ripped in two.
Sharing that she loved him was completely out of the question. He’d find someone perfect, someone safe and careful and nurturing, and be happier than he’d ever be with her.
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said.
Wild About Her Wingman Page 19