“You have no idea what I’m going to say.” He took his antlers off and combed his fingers through his hair.
She tried not to remember the wonderful feeling of running her fingers through their soft strands. “Look, I—”
He dropped his head. “You went out with Dom.”
“What? No. What made you think that?”
His eyes found hers again. “Last weekend when we were…when you took Frito out you got a text. I thought it was my phone at first and picked yours up by mistake. I saw the message from Dominic confirming plans for a date.”
“It wasn’t a date. He wanted me to meet the girl he’s just started seeing. They were having a dinner party. Only she got sick and they canceled it.” She narrowed her eyes. “You should have told me you saw it.”
Pain etched the corner of his eyes. “You’re right.”
He put his hands on her upper arms. Even though it was cold outside, his touch made her insides warm and toasty. She’d need armor to stay immune to him, dammit.
“So you didn’t go out with him.”
“What would it matter if I had?” She couldn’t get her feet to move. To walk away.
“It would matter because I’m interested in you.”
“Interested how?” Her heart did a pit-a-pat. She’d broken her own rule and fallen completely in love with him, and more than anything wanted him to feel the same way.
Even though she still planned to walk away. Selfish as it was, she just wanted to know if he cared about her the same way.
“In all of it.” He played with the hair spilling out of her knit cap.
“I thought you weren’t interested in a girl like me.” She blinked several times. “I’m not safe, Troy. Not by a long shot.”
“I changed my mind.”
Changed his mind? Why was that not very reassuring? Because you’ve had your heart torn to pieces. Who was to say he wouldn’t change his mind again and decide he wanted some Susie Homemaker behind his white picket fence? She’d opened herself up to him, let all her guards down, and she was terrified of the depth of her feelings.
“Not good enough,” she said and turned, ready to deny how she felt if that’s what it took.
“Erin, wait. Hear me out. I started this conversation all wrong.”
She looked over her shoulder. “I can’t.” She’d already let the conversation go on far longer than she’d planned, so easily captivated by his warmth and nearness that she’d forgotten herself.
“Can’t or won’t?” he said, his tone hard to read.
Just let me go, she silently pleaded.
“Both,” she whispered and joined the others when he didn’t stop her.
Chapter Fifteen
The muscles in Troy’s shoulders and upper back burned, but he didn’t let up. Just a little farther and he’d claim victory.
Oliver’s paddleboard was right on his ass. “Dude, you are so going down.”
Troy paddled harder through the small ocean swells. “Keep wishing.” The buoy bobbed two, maybe three, hundred feet in front of them. He’d get there before Oliver and then collapse on the board.
Or not.
“You ass—” Troy fell in the water with a splash. The freezing cold water cut through him like a sharp blade of ice.
“Oops,” Oliver said, passing him and grinning like a five-year-old. “Sorry about that. Lost control of my paddle there.”
Troy grumbled as he quickly got out of the water and knelt on his board. He didn’t budge, just watched Oliver go the extra distance, too damn drained to try to catch up. His gaze wandered to the shore and he kept sight of a couple holding hands and throwing a ball into the waves so their dog could spring into the surf to retrieve it.
And for the millionth time he thought about Erin. Thought about taking her in his arms and kissing and touching her until she knew with certainty the insanely awesome way she made him feel. She hadn’t believed his half-baked attempt to woo her on the boat—and rightly so. He’d been so damn nervous and she’d been so damn…distant. Something had been bothering her that night, and he had no idea what it was.
He planned to find out, though. And he planned to fight for her.
She deserved to be swept off her feet and he’d been racking his brain trying to think of a way to do that for the past twenty-four hours.
“Dude,” Oliver said, deftly parking himself beside Troy. “You okay? You look sick.”
“You won,” Troy said.
Oliver smirked. “Yeah, I know.”
“I don’t mean just now. I mean I do my market runs and yours for the next two months.”
“Oh, you mean that. You’re done, huh?”
“I’m going after her myself.”
“About damn time. Since when does buying groceries trump having a hot woman in your bed?”
Troy rubbed behind his ear. He should have known Oliver would be happy to see him go after what he wanted, bet aside. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”
“What gives? I’m a good listener, you know.”
Troy checked out his friend. “You reading Cosmo again?”
“Hey, a guy can learn a lot from that magazine.” Another smirk, this one more annoying.
“Yeah, like how not to talk to your guy friends. Come on, let’s paddle in.”
“Full force,” Oliver said, rowing beside him.
“What?” Troy’s bottom hand slipped off the paddle.
“Go after her full force.”
“I’m working on it,” he admitted.
“Work faster.”
“Says the consummate ladies’ man. Some things take time and planning.” He had to make the next time he saw Erin perfect or risk losing her for good.
They reached shallow water and slid off their boards. “You’ve got it bad.”
“You could say that.”
Oliver slapped him on the back. “I’m going to say good luck, but I don’t think you need it. I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”
“How does she look at me?”
“Like she wants you to strip her.”
He wanted to do a lot more than that. “You can tell that how?”
“Dude, ladies’ man.” He pointed at himself. “I can read a woman in three seconds and trust me, Erin’s got it as bad for you as you’ve got it for her.”
“Thanks, bud.” Troy put his board down in the sand and grabbed his towel to dry off.
“I just watched this documentary on the mating habits of whiptail lizards and trust me, if those things can make it happen, you can too, my friend.”
Troy laughed. “I have no idea what a whiptail lizard is but you need to get out of your house more.”
Oliver pointed to the side of his head. “I’ve got a shitload of knowledge in here that’s going to come in handy one day.” He picked up his stuff. “I’ve got to go. See you later.”
“Yeah.” Troy pulled his T-shirt over his head and sat in the sand to watch the ebb and flow of the tide for a while. Pale sunlight touched his surroundings, cutting into the murky, cool morning.
The couple with the dog strolled past him. Troy pictured him, Erin, and Frito walking down the beach, laughing, kicking up the water, searching for sea glass.
He smiled. Erin collected the blue and green beach gems. She collected family pictures. She took in stray puppies without a second thought. She’d made him believe in the kind of love he thought he’d lost out on.
She’d said she wasn’t safe, and he got the feeling she meant more than just her job and hobbies. That she was suggesting she wasn’t a safe bet in order to push him away.
He may have started out thinking they weren’t the perfect match, but that was before he’d gotten to know the woman behind the tough-girl persona.
“Troy?”
A man’s out-of-breath voice broke into his thoughts. He looked up. “Luke,” he said, and got to his feet.
“I’m glad I ran into you.” Luke bent at the waist and put his hands on his thighs.
The back of his shirt had splotches of sweat.
Troy inwardly groaned. He knew Erin and Luke were close. Had she said something to him? “Shoot.”
“No, I mean because I needed a break. I can’t get my breathing in a good rhythm this morning.”
“Oh. Yeah, I know the feeling.”
Luke straightened, rolled his shoulders back, and looked out at the sea. Troy turned and followed his line of vision. A flock of seagulls skimmed over the water, their caws always a welcome sound.
They stood in silence for a while, then Luke, keeping his attention forward, said, “So, you and my sister.”
Troy dug his heels in the sand. He remembered the protective feelings that had swirled inside him when Bree and Jack got serious. He imagined Luke felt the same way. No point in beating around the bush, he said, “I love her.”
“You tell her yet?”
“No.”
Luke let a breath out. “She’s not making it easy, huh?”
“I wouldn’t say that.” More like impossible.
“What would you say?”
Troy frowned. “Sorry?”
“What are you going to say to her? You’ve got to have more than those three magic words.” He glanced at Troy. “She doesn’t believe in them anymore. Or at least she didn’t until you came around. That’s one big plus in your favor.”
With Luke’s basic agreement that talking wasn’t going to be enough to get through to Erin, sweat trickled down Troy’s back. He needed to show her with ironclad certainty that he was the man for her and she was the woman he planned to love for the rest of his days.
An idea struck him. Oliver’s mention of a documentary had him thinking about presenting “the facts” to her. But he didn’t know the first thing about filmmaking. Luke, however, was a world-class photographer.
“Would you be interested in helping me out with something?” Troy asked.
“I’d do anything to see my baby sister happy. What did you have in mind?”
“A photomentary.”
Luke shot him an interested look, eyebrows furrowed. “You want me to take some pictures.”
“Action shots, actually.”
“Have a subject in mind?”
Troy nodded and launched into his idea. Luke was in 100 percent. They talked about logistics. Days and times they were both available. When finished, Luke shook his hand.
“I couldn’t have asked for a better man for my sister,” Luke said.
“Thanks.”
“But just remember.” Luke put a hand on his shoulder. “If you hurt her, I hurt you. See you tomorrow. Eight sharp.” He took off running back down the beach.
Troy swallowed the lump of anxiety in his throat. If this didn’t go the way he hoped, the only person getting hurt would be him.
…
Erin walked down the trendy Portland street lined with boutique shops and restaurants. Poinsettias filled the large planters and several windows were decorated with holiday cheer. She hopped over a puddle and let a tiny smile slip when a cute guy passed by with a grin directed at her.
Of course a cute guy reminded her of her cute guy and the candy shop up ahead was looking better and better. Troy wasn’t her guy. He never had been and never would be.
But at least he was okay. At least he was back on the job in full force and that had made her happy.
“Oh, let’s go in here,” Sela said. “Look how cute that dress is.” She nodded at a blue dress with a sequined skirt in the window and headed inside the store.
Sela had made it her mission to find Erin a dress to wear for her and Luke’s wedding party in a few weeks. Since Sela and Luke had eloped—and thus taken away the honor of being a bridesmaid—Sela wanted to buy her something to wear and refused to take no for an answer.
“Can I help you?” a salesgirl said. She had a pink stripe in her brown hair and a friendly attitude.
“Yes,” Sela answered. “My sister-in-law needs a dress. Something sexy and hot.”
“She’s pimping me out,” Erin said.
The girl smiled and sized Erin up. “I think I can help. Follow me.”
True to her word, the salesgirl pulled several dresses from the racks and led them to the dressing rooms.
“You need to model each one,” Sela said, taking a seat in the chair Erin wished her butt were hitting instead.
Erin closed the velvet curtain and thankfully found her own little upholstered ottoman to sit on. She leaned against the wall and took a moment to steel herself from thoughts of Troy. She’d imagined taking him with her to the party. Dancing with him. Whispering secrets about her extended family in his ear. Kissing him until he wanted to sneak away somewhere private so he could lift her dress and have his wicked way with her.
Troy had made her feel different about herself. She’d always been the wild sister, the risk-taker, but his gentleness and care made her feel like she had greater potential for reaching amazing things and becoming a better person for it. His faith in her had restored her faith in herself.
He might not have found her worthy of forever, but he had found her worth something.
She stood and undressed. Time to get over it and focus on the positives in her life. She had only a few weeks of school left and then she’d have her master’s degree and be that much closer to something new and exciting for COA. Will had liked her revised plans, and next spring and summer things were going to rock. She slipped on the strapless spearmint chiffon dress and shoved aside the curtain to show Sela.
Four dresses later, she had a winner. A long sleeveless red “knotted jersey” gown, the salesgirl called it. Erin didn’t care what name it went by. It fit her curves with a crisscrossed open back, low V neckline in front, and material soft enough that she might sleep in the thing.
“You look beautiful,” Sela said.
“Thanks.” Weird how a piece of clothing could make her feel like that were really true and take all her worries and put them aside for a minute. She’d felt pretty beat-up the past week.
“You okay?” Sela asked.
“Fine. Just…” Crap. She felt the sting of tears and didn’t want to do this here. Didn’t want to do it anywhere. With anyone. Damn Troy. Ever since he’d come into her life she couldn’t keep her emotions to herself anymore.
Sela stood and put her arms around Erin. “Whatever’s going on, you need to get it off your chest.”
God, for a girl whose plan in life since college had been to live it on her own terms, capable and independent, she sure had mucked that up. Did she honestly want to end up alone?
No.
“I miss him. I miss Troy so much.” She sniffled and stepped back. “I thought I’d die if something happened to him out on that rescue. I’ve never felt such intense feelings before.”
Sela put a hand on her arm.
“I love him and I should have told him. But then I think about what’s best for him and it isn’t me and I’m glad I didn’t tell him. I’m glad I blew him off on the boat. But then I’m miserable. And confused. And how am I going to survive living in the same town as him when all I want is for him to wrap me in his arms and hold me forever.”
“Forever?” Sela whispered, a tiny smile playing at the corner of her mouth.
“Yes,” she confessed.
Sela hugged her again.
“Life can be so unfair,” Erin murmured into her sister-in-law’s shoulder.
“It’s also full of surprises.” Sela released her.
Erin narrowed her eyes. Sela had a tell. She wiggled her nose like she had to sneeze when something was up. “I think you’re the one who needs to spill.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sela rubbed her nose.
“That!” Erin pointed at Sela’s face. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
Sela shrugged. “My allergies are acting up.”
“You don’t have allergies.”
“I’ve also been fighting a cold. Luke gave it to me. He’s been…he’s b
een working on this special project and not getting enough sleep. And I’m proud of you.” She squeezed Erin’s hand. “You let someone in again and that’s huge. I know it wasn’t easy for you. I’ll just wait for you over by the register.” She twisted, but paused and looked over her shoulder. “That dress is really amazing on you.”
A funny feeling made Erin’s chest tighten a little. Eying herself in the dressing room mirror once more before she took the gown off, she dared to dream of Troy and the way he might look at her all done up.
With their purchases in hand, they walked to Sela’s car and headed home.
“Did you see the latest women, life & love column?” Sela asked, a little sheepish. They’d listened to the radio for most of the ride and with just a few minutes until they got to Erin’s, her sister-in-law had to bring up that?
“Yes.”
“I’m now the official wingwoman for three nurse friends.”
Erin laughed. Jane’s “Wingwoman 101” column had struck an uncomfortable chord given how things had started with Troy, but putting a feminine spin on it was pretty clever. “Now that you’re married you’re the perfect going-out buddy.”
“Exactly.”
“Sounded to me like Jane hasn’t been so lucky in love lately.”
“Not like some people I know.” Sela slowed and turned onto Erin’s street. She leaned forward, her chest on the steering wheel, her eyes focused out the windshield like she was looking for something.
“You’re being weird,” Erin said, choosing to ignore what Sela had just said.
“What?” She sat back and pulled up to the curb so freaking slow that Erin could’ve gotten out while in motion without a misstep. “No, I’m not.”
“Now you’re looking at my condo as if it might explode or something.”
“Or something,” Sela mumbled.
“All righty. I’m going to go, and I suggest you head straight home and call me when you get there, okay?”
Sela lurched forward and wrapped Erin in a hug. Erin’s body went stiff at the sudden gesture. “I’m fine. More than fine. I’m great.” Sela waved her off. “Just had such a fun time with you today.”
Erin wasn’t buying it, but didn’t say anything. “I did, too. Thanks again for the dress.”
Wild About Her Wingman Page 20