The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works
Page 407
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catching of cold.
BEATRICE O, God help me, God help me, how long have
you professed apprehension?
MARGARET Ever since you left it. Doth not my wit
become me rarely?
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BEATRICE It is not seen enough, you should wear it in
your cap. By my troth, I am sick.
MARGARET Get you some of this distilled carduus
benedictus, and lay it to your heart; it is the only thing
for a qualm.
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HERO There thou prick’st her with a thistle.
BEATRICE Benedictus! Why benedictus? You have some
moral in this benedictus.
MARGARET Moral? No, by my troth I have no moral
meaning, I meant plain holy-thistle. You may think
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perchance that I think you are in love, nay by’r lady I
am not such a fool to think what I list, nor I list not to
think what I can, nor indeed I cannot think, if I would
think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love, or
that you will be in love, or that you can be in love. Yet
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BENEDICK was such another and now is he become a
man: he swore he would never marry, and yet now in
despite of his heart he eats his meat without grudging:
and how you may be converted I know not, but
methinks you look with your eyes as other women do.
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BEATRICE What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?
MARGARET Not a false gallop.
Enter URSULA.
URSULA Madam, withdraw! The Prince, the Count,
Signior Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants of the
town are come to fetch you to church.
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HERO Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good
Ursula. Exeunt.
3.5 Enter LEONATO and the constable DOGBERRY and the headborough VERGES.
LEONATO What would you with me, honest neighbour?
DOGBERRY Marry, sir, I would have some confidence
with you, that decerns you nearly.
LEONATO Brief, I pray you, for you see it is a busy time
with me.
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DOGBERRY Marry, this it is, sir.
VERGES Yes, in truth it is, sir.
LEONATO What is it, my good friends?
DOGBERRY Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the
matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as,
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God help, I would desire they were, but, in faith,
honest as the skin between his brows.
VERGES Yes, I thank God, I am as honest as any man
living, that is an old man, and no honester than I.
DOGBERRY Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges.
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LEONATO Neighbours, you are tedious.
DOGBERRY It pleases your worship to say so, but we are
the poor Duke’s officers; but truly, for mine own part,
if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart
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to bestow it all of your worship.
LEONATO All thy tediousness on me, ah?
DOGBERRY Yea, and ’twere a thousand pound more than
’tis, for I hear as good exclamation on your worship as
of any man in the city, and though I be but a poor man,
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I am glad to hear it.
VERGES And so am I.
LEONATO I would fain know what you have to say.
VERGES Marry, sir, our watch tonight, excepting your
worship’s presence, ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant
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knaves as any in Messina.
DOGBERRY A good old man, sir, he will be talking; as
they say, ‘When the age is in, the wit is out’, God help
us, it is a world to see! Well said, i’faith, neighbour
Verges; well, God’s a good man, and two men ride of
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a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i’faith,
sir, by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is
to be worshipped, all men are not alike, alas, good
neighbour!
LEONATO Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.
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DOGBERRY Gifts that God gives.
LEONATO I must leave you.
DOGBERRY One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed
comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would
have them this morning examined before your worship.
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LEONATO Take their examination yourself, and bring it
me; I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you.
DOGBERRY It shall be suffigance.
LEONATO Drink some wine ere you go. Fare you well!
Enter a Messenger.
MESSENGER My lord, they stay for you to give your
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daughter to her husband.
LEONATO I’ll wait upon them; I am ready.
Exit with Messenger.
DOGBERRY Go, good partner, go, get you to Francis
Seacoal, bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the
gaol: we are now to examination these men.
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VERGES And we must do it wisely.
DOGBERRY We will spare for no wit, I warrant you;
here’s that shall drive some of them to a non-come.
Only get the learned writer to set down our excom-
munication, and meet me at the gaol. Exeunt.
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4.1 Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN the Bastard, LEONATO, FRIAR FRANCIS, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, HERO BEATRICE and attendants.
LEONATO Come, Friar Francis, be brief: only to the
plain form of marriage, and you shall recount their
particular duties afterwards.
FRIAR You come hither, my lord, to marry this lady?
CLAUDIO No.
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LEONATO To be married to her, friar: you come to
marry her.
FRIAR Lady, you come hither to be married to this Count?
HERO I do.
FRIAR If either of you know any inward impediment
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why you should not be conjoined, I charge you on
your souls to utter it.
CLAUDIO Know you any, Hero?
HERO None, my lord.
FRIAR Know you any, Count?
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LEONATO I dare make his answer, None.
CLAUDIO O, what men dare do! What men may do!
What men daily do, not knowing what they do!
BENEDICK How now? Interjections? Why then, some be
of laughing, as ah, ha, he!
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CLAUDIO Stand thee by, friar. Father, by your leave:
Will you with free and unconstrained soul
Give me this maid, your daughter?
LEONATO As freely, son, as God did give her me.
CLAUDIO And what have I to give you back whose worth
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May counterpoise this rich and precious gift?
DON PEDRO Nothing, unless you render her again.
CLAUDIO
Sweet Prince, you learn me noble thankfulness.
There, Leonato, take her back again.
Give not this rotten orange to your friend;
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She’s but the sign and semblance of her honour.
Behold how like a maid she blushes here!
O, what authority and show of truth
Can cunning sin cover itself withal!
Comes not that blood as modest evidence
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To witness simple virtue? Would you not swear,
All you that see her, that she were a maid,
By these ext
erior shows? But she is none:
She knows the heat of a luxurious bed:
Her blush is guiltiness, not modesty.
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LEONATO What do you mean, my lord?
CLAUDIO Not to be married, not to knit my soul
To an approved wanton.
LEONATO Dear my lord, if you, in your own proof,
Have vanquish’d the resistance of her youth,
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And made defeat of her virginity –
CLAUDIO
I know what you would say: if I have known her,
You will say she did embrace me as a husband,
And so extenuate the ’forehand sin.
No, Leonato.
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I never tempted her with word too large,
But, as a brother to his sister, show’d
Bashful sincerity and comely love.
HERO And seem’d I ever otherwise to you?
CLAUDIO Out on thee, seeming! I will write against it.
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You seem to me as Dian in her orb,
As chaste as is the bud ere it be blown;
But you are more intemperate in your blood
Than Venus, or those pamper’d animals
That rage in savage sensuality.
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HERO Is my lord well that he doth speak so wide?
LEONATO Sweet Prince, why speak not you?
DON PEDRO What should I speak?
I stand dishonour’d, that have gone about
To link my dear friend to a common stale.
LEONATO Are these things spoken, or do I but dream?
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DON JOHN
Sir, they are spoken, and these things are true.
BENEDICK This looks not like a nuptial!
HERO ‘True’? O God!
CLAUDIO Leonato, stand I here?
Is this the Prince? Is this the Prince’s brother?
Is this face Hero’s? Are our eyes our own?
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LEONATO All this is so, but what of this, my lord?
CLAUDIO
Let me but move one question to your daughter,
And by that fatherly and kindly power
That you have in her, bid her answer truly.
LEONATO I charge thee do so, as thou art my child.
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HERO O God defend me, how am I beset!
What kind of catechizing call you this?
CLAUDIO To make you answer truly to your name.
HERO Is it not Hero? Who can blot that name
With any just reproach?
CLAUDIO Marry, that can Hero;
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HERO itself can blot out Hero’s virtue.
What man was he talk’d with you yesternight,
Out at your window betwixt twelve and one?
Now if you are a maid, answer to this.
HERO I talk’d with no man at that hour, my lord.
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DON PEDRO Why, then are you no maiden. Leonato,
I am sorry you must hear: upon mine honour,
Myself, my brother, and this grieved Count
Did see her, hear her, at that hour last night,
Talk with a ruffian at her chamber-window,
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Who hath indeed, most like a liberal villain,
Confess’d the vile encounters they have had
A thousand times in secret.
DON JOHN Fie, fie, they are not to be nam’d, my lord,
Not to be spoke of!
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There is not chastity enough in language
Without offence to utter them. Thus, pretty lady,
I am sorry for thy much misgovernment.
CLAUDIO O Hero! What a Hero hadst thou been,
If half thy outward graces had been plac’d
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About thy thoughts and counsels of thy heart!
But fare thee well, most foul, most fair! Farewell,
Thou pure impiety and impious purity!
For thee I’ll lock up all the gates of love,
And on my eyelids shall conjecture hang,
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To turn all beauty into thoughts of harm,
And never shall it more be gracious.
LEONATO Hath no man’s dagger here a point for me?
[Hero swoons.]
BEATRICE
Why, how now, cousin! Wherefore sink you down?
DON JOHN
Come, let us go. These things, come thus to light,
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Smother her spirits up.
Exeunt Don Pedro, Don John and Claudio.
BENEDICK How doth the lady?
BEATRICE Dead, I think. Help, uncle!
HERO ! Why, Hero! Uncle! Signior Benedick! Friar!
LEONATO O Fate, take not away thy heavy hand!
Death is the fairest cover for her shame
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That may be wish’d for.