Sacrifice

by Alexandrea Weis

  I shook my head. “He’s never going to leave us alone. And I’m not going anywhere until I know my family is safe. We have to stay and end it.”

  “Then we need to end this quickly, before Simon has a chance to make a move on either one of you.” Dallas bent over, picked up my cell phone from the floor, and handed it to me. “Call Caston now. Tell him you have made up your mind about backing his forgeries. Set up a meeting at his place for as soon as possible.”

  I went to my purse and pulled out the card Greg had given me with his cell number on it.

  “And Nicci,” Dallas spoke up behind me. “Tell Caston I’m coming to that meeting with you.”

  I turned to him. “Why?”

  “Just tell Caston I have a proposal for him in addition to yours. He’s a business man; he’ll want me there to see what I have to offer.”

  I started punching Greg’s number into my phone. “And what are you offering?”

  “Whatever it takes to get Simon La Roy out of all of our lives forever.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Later that evening, I was in my bedroom packing up clothes when David limped in the door. As I was cramming some jeans into the bottom of my overnight bag, David hobbled over to a chair by the bed and eased himself into the seat.

  “You should be resting,” I scolded.

  He grimaced slightly as he tried to make himself comfortable. “I’ve spent the last three years resting.” He repositioned himself in the chair. “Look, Nicci, this morning when I woke up and found you gone…”

  “Let’s not discuss it now, David,” I said, avoiding his gaze. “We have more pressing problems to worry about.”

  “I think we need to talk about this. I want a life with you. I want you to trust me and know that I’m always going to be there for you. What do I have to do to prove that to you?”

  I stared down at the overnight bag on the bed before me. “Trust takes time and patience, David,” I asserted.

  “We don’t have time, Nicci, and I’ve never been a very patient man. I want to know that you’re willing to give me, give us, a chance here.”

  I sighed as I looked into his bruised face. “I would not be packing for a speedy getaway with you if I wasn’t willing to give us a chance, David.”

  “Are you still angry with me?”

  I smiled slightly. “No. I guess last night I was more afraid than angry.”

  “Afraid of what? Me?”

  “No, us. You have to admit we have had a lot of false starts in this relationship. Every time I felt like we were going to make it, something, or someone, would came along and take you away from me. I don’t want to be hurt anymore.”

  David sat back in his chair and let out a heavy sigh. “That first day at Myra Chopin’s tea party, I should have walked away. I wanted to…but I didn’t.”

  “You never told me that you almost walked away,” I stated surprised by his disclosure.

  He shrugged. “Sammy had pointed you out to me at the party. When I first saw you sitting at your cousin’s table, I remember thinking that what I was about to do was wrong.” He shook his head. “I’d never had that feeling before with any other target. I didn’t want to go through with Sammy’s scheme.”

  “But you did go through with it, and here we are.”

  “You’re not meant for this kind of life, Nicci. Dallas, me, hell even your uncle, are meant for all the lies and corruption. I will never forgive myself for involving you in all of this mess.”

  I went over to his chair and took his face in my hands. “Hey, don’t you think for a second that I regret any of this.”

  “Despite the sacrifices you have made?” he whispered.

  I shook my head. “I’ve never made any sacrifices for—”

  “There will be sacrifices, Nicci,” he interrupted. “You can’t have a life with someone unless you give up something from your past. You’ll see that, unfortunately sooner than later, because I feel that when this is all over you will have given up a great deal to be with me. I just hope you don’t wind up resenting me for it.” He turned his face away from me.

  “I could never resent you no matter what happens.”

  He looked back at me. “I hope that’s true. Because if that day ever comes….”

  “That day will never come, David. No matter what happens and no matter where we end up, I want you to know that you saved me.” I paused as I tried to find the words. “I was wrong to say the things I did last night. When I walked into that kitchen today, and saw you so badly beaten, I realized how foolish I’ve been. I owe you so much. I would not be who I am if you had not brought me to my senses. Without you I would never have walked away from the life I could have had. I would never have become a writer or turned into the woman I am. Even after I thought I had lost you, when I was struggling for recovery from your death, your memory still shaped my life. And now that you’re back, I have finally found completeness. And if our remaining together calls for a little sacrifice, then so be it.”

  David leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “And all this time I thought you wanted me just because of the great sex.”

  I grinned at him. “That too.”

  A shadow of concern darkened his features. “I want you to be careful tomorrow night. Caston is a dangerous man, Nicci. Keep your distance and don’t let him touch you. Maybe I should give you my gun?”

  “I don’t think shooting him will help.” I patted his hand. “And I don’t need a gun. Dallas will be there tomorrow night to protect me.”

  “And what if Caston wants more than you are willing to give.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re going there to ask him to kill a man. Such requests usually come with a heavy price.”

  “That’s why Dallas is coming with me. He will offer Simon’s organization to Greg as an additional incentive.”

  “But it won’t end there, Nicci. Even if Caston agrees to kill Simon in exchange for all you and Dallas have to offer, eventually he will want more. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you will be indebted to Caston. Very much in the same way I’m now indebted to Carl Bordonaro. Men like Carl and Greg Caston always collect on their favors. And sometimes what they may ask of you down the road, will be more than you’re willing to give.”

  “So what are you saying? You want me to call the whole thing off?”

  He shook his head. “I’m trying to explain that even if Caston agrees to your terms tomorrow night, it still won’t be over. You need to be prepared for that.”

  “I will do whatever it takes to end this, David. I have danced with the likes of Simon La Roy. I can handle whatever intrigue Greg Caston throws my way.”

  “Yeah, well, just don’t get any ideas about having a career in espionage after we’re married. You’re a writer, not a spy.”

  “I don’t want to be a spy, and I never said I was going to marry you,” I replied, jutting out my chin.

  “You’ll marry me,” he stated with a grin. “I think at this point you had better marry somebody before you end up with another fiancé. I don’t think the world could survive it.”

  I noted his swollen right eye and split lip. “Well, I’m not going to marry you looking like that. Imagine our wedding pictures.”

  David sighed and reached for my hand. “When we get married, there will be no wedding pictures, Nicci. There can be nothing to link Dan Goldvarg to David Alexander. The wedding I’m talking about will be quick and done by a justice of the peace. There can be no witnesses. No chance that anyone can ever find me.”

  “So how will we live the rest of our lives? Hiding from everyone?”

  He let go of my hand and sat back in his chair. “We will live quietly in the country. We will maintain a low profile and keep to ourselves.”

  “But I’m a writer, David. It will be pretty damn hard for me to maintain a low profile and sell books,” I asserted.

  “You’re going to have to reconsider your career.”

  I opened
my mouth to speak, but he raised his hand. “I’m not saying you will have to give up writing, Nicci. I’m just saying you may have to change who you are as a writer.”

  A queasy feeling gripped my stomach. “I don’t understand.”

  “To avoid suspicion, you’re going to have to take on a new identity. We cannot be together if you remain Nicci Beauvoir. As long as you are David Alexander’s Jenny, we will never be completely safe from my past.”

  The reality of what he was proposing washed over me like floodwaters overpowering a weakened levee. I had never considered the possibility of having to change who I was in order to be with the man I loved. I was truly comfortable as Nicci Beauvoir, and I was just beginning to establish myself as a writer. Self-awareness is a struggle plagued with the pitfalls of false introspections and gilded assumptions of who and what we really are. How was I supposed to start over and walk away from all I had ever learned about myself? Others could strip away fortune, physical ability, and fame, but in the end, we always had our identity. Who would I be if I couldn’t be me anymore?

  ***

  Later that night, I was sitting in a chair by the door watching David sleep. He had settled into my bedroom, passing out on the bed almost as soon as his body hit the sheets. Being unable to calm down from the evening’s events, I did not curl up next to him, but instead decided to sit in a chair across the room. I watched the rise and fall of his chest as he slept and was comforted by the fact that I could look upon him at any time. But my mind was restless with worry. He had gone through so much to get back to me. How much more could his battered body endure? I got up from my chair and went over to the bed once more to check on him. I touched my hand lightly to his taped shoulder and bruised cheek. I walked to the door and decided David was all right to leave for a short while. Because what I needed more than anything at that moment was a drink.

  I crept along the second story balcony trying not to the let the old floorboards beneath my feet give away my presence. I made it down the back stairs secure in the fact that no one had heard my retreat from the second floor bedrooms. And as I walked across the kitchen to Val’s liquor cabinet, I felt my body relax a bit.

  I grabbed the bottle of vodka from the shelf, but as I opened the cabinet above the sink to find a glass, a shadow from the kitchen doorway startled me.

  “I see I’m not the only one in need of a drink,” Dallas said as he emerged from the darkness of the hallway.

  In his hand was a glass filled with only ice cubes. He leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen entrance, raised the glass to his mouth, and drained the last dregs of liquid from his drink.

  I reached into the cabinet for a glass. “Any particular reason you need a drink tonight?” I asked.

  “Same reason I’ve had a drink every night since your cousin’s wedding. But why I drink shouldn’t matter to you. You have David, right? So why are you here?”

  “I don’t have David. I’ve got Dan Goldvarg. And I guess I’m still trying to figure out if I’m willing to accept that fact,” I stated, repeating his words from the previous day.

  I poured a measure of vodka into my glass and put the bottle down on the counter beside me. I grabbed the orange juice from the refrigerator and added it to my drink. I watched as Dallas stepped over to the counter and picked up the bottle I had left there.

  He filled his glass to the rim with vodka. “I was just trying to prepare you for what lies ahead, Nicci. At the time I don’t think you really understood what you’re going to have to give up to be with David.” He put the bottle back down on the counter and looked over at me. “But I think you understand now, don’t you?”

  I lifted my drink in the air. “Completely.”

  A wave of concern rose inside of me as Dallas raised his glass of straight vodka to his lips.

  I suddenly recognized that there were two of us in the room trying to come to terms with everything that had happened in the past few days. I had always considered Dallas tough and impervious to emotion, but it seemed I had been wrong.

  I lowered my gaze to the floor. “I can only imagine how difficult this whole situation must be for you.”

  “Difficult? Nicci, don’t try and be kind and understanding with me right now. We both know how I feel about you, so let’s just say it has been a hell of a lot more than difficult.”

  I looked up at him. “Then why stay?”

  “I stay because if I left and something were to happen to you or David, I would never forgive myself. Despite everything between us, he is still my friend and I want to see you both safe.” He swayed slightly as he stood next to the counter.

  “How many of those have you had?” I pointed to his glass.

  “Not enough to help me forget.” He put his drink down on the counter.

  “Look, Dallas, if David had not returned—”

  “You’d never have married me, Nicci,” he broke in. “We both know that. You loved me, but not enough.”

  “With time, I know my feelings would have been what you wanted and perhaps…” I let my words slip away.

  “We would never have made it. Seeing how you are with him made me realize that.”

  “And how am I with him?”

  “Really…happy,” he replied and then picked up his drink from the counter. “You were never that way with me.” He inspected the glass in his hand. “Perhaps it’s better this way. Losing you to him is a hell of a lot easier than losing you to some other guy. You were his first. I just never thought…”

  “I wish I could go back and change the past between us, Dallas. I wish there was something I could say to make this easier for both of us. You deserve better than this. You’re the best of men, Dallas, and I will never forget everything that you have done for me.”

  “The best of men?” he questioned as he looked back down into his drink. “I’ve done a lot of things I regret in my life. Things most men would never do. I guess this is my penance for being what I am. I will never have a woman like you.” He lifted the glass to his lips and drained it.

  “A woman like me?” I shook my head trying to comprehend the meaning of his words. “And what am I Dallas? Every man that has come into my life has been hurt because of me. You, David, and even Michael, have suffered from knowing me.”

  “What a pair we would have made, huh?” He put his empty glass down on the counter beside him. “I was always afraid of losing you, and you were always afraid of hurting me.”

  He gazed into my eyes and for a second I could feel my heart break.

  “I wish you would reconsider taking over Simon’s organization. If you return to that life again you will never walk away from it. We both know that.” I paused as I recalled what he had told me of his former fiancée, Carol Wilbur. “You blamed yourself for Carol’s death and used her as an excuse to bury yourself in Simon’s world. Don’t use me as an excuse to go back to it now. I want you to be happy, Dallas. You deserve to be happy.”

  He shook his head and reached for the bottle of vodka. “Some people are never meant to be happy, Nicci,” he said and he poured himself another drink.

  I took the bottle from his hand and placed it back down on the counter. “No, Dallas, some people don’t want to find happiness because they’re more afraid of losing what joy they may find than ever searching for it in the first place.”

  He reached in front of me and picked up the bottle from the counter. He poured the clear vodka into his glass, filling it to the rim. “Like I said, some people are never meant to be happy.”

  I emptied the contents of my drink into the sink. As I stared down into the shiny stainless steel basin, I thought back to all the heated discussions we had endured in the past. Every encounter with him had always made me feel as I did now. It was as if I were standing at the foot of a great wall screaming to be heard without any hope of breaking through to the other side.

  I sighed as I turned back to him. “Promise me one thing, Dallas. If you ever meet a woman you care about, fight for her. Fi
ght for her like your life depends on it. Don’t become one of those men filled with a lifetime of regrets because of what never was. You have a choice, Dallas. The past will only break you if you let it.”

  I turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Dallas August to consider his future. I hoped with every fiber of my being that for once in his stubborn life the man would listen to me and change the dangerous path on which he was about to embark. As I made my way up the stairs to my bedroom, I thought about the elusive Dallas August. In the space of a few days the cool professional I had once known had returned and the loving man I had shared my bed with over the past few months had completely disappeared from view. Leaving me to wonder which one had been the real Dallas August, and which had been the facade.

  I went back to my bedroom and climbed in the large four-poster bed bedside David. Stirring at my presence, he reached out for me and gently pulled me to his bruised body. I felt him sigh with contentment as I nuzzled my head against his neck.

  “Where did you go? I don’t like waking up and finding you gone, Nicci,” he whispered.

  “I went downstairs for a little while. I couldn’t sleep.”

  “You need to try, Nicci. You’ll need to be sharp for tomorrow.”

  I thought ahead to the coming meeting with Greg and Dallas. I wondered what Simon was up to and where he had disappeared to in the city. So many thoughts and troubles filled my head. And somewhere in the midst of my anxiety, sleep overtook me. In my dreams I was resting in David’s arms without a worry. For a brief moment I was happy, and the world was free from the clutches of Simon La Roy.

  Chapter Twenty

  The next day the men were like restless soldiers waiting for battle. Uncle Lance had stayed the night in order to add an extra pair of eyes for our safety. He had spent most of the morning on the phone trying to get updates on Simon’s whereabouts from Carl Bordonaro’s people. After a few frustrating phone calls, Uncle Lance decided to head back to his condo for a change of clothes. Dallas offered to cook a luxurious lunch to get our minds off our circumstances. I only picked at the shrimp etoufee he had prepared. I noticed the men, however, cleaned their plates and even had second helpings of the strawberry torte Dallas had made. The heightened sense of alarm only seemed to fuel their hunger while it had simultaneously destroyed mine. Both men also leaned heavily on the alcohol during lunch. Even I had a yearning to numb my nerves for a respite from the nagging tension in the air. While the men sipped on whiskey and soda, I stuck with my vodka and orange juice throughout the meal.