by Hood, Holly
Slade takes his fingers out of me to keep me there. He locks down on my hips and stops me from taking off, he keeps his mouth on me and gives me what I need.
When he gets me back under control he slips his fingers back inside of me and I grab him by the hair. I push against him, I am so close to coming. And I want that. I twist and move, greedy for it.
My body is shaking, I’m a trembling, moaning, moving mess of woman. I sound like one of those stupid porns the way I am begging for it. It’s embarrassing. I bite my lip trying to hold it together.
And then I crash into the finishes line, tires squealing, my body coming to a glorious finish. And I am alive, and I am free. I am perfect right now.
I fall back onto the bed sheets and try to catch my breath. Slade comes back up and kisses me. “I’m not done with you yet.”
He is inside of me again. My body can hardly cooperate after the first orgasm and this man wants to keep going. He locks his hands with mine and pins them above my head. He thrust inside of me eager to feel the way I feel. I press my forehead against him that’s all I can do to connect with him.
He slows down and then picks back up, he slams against me a little faster each time. “I. Fucking. Love. You.” He pulls out almost all the way and I catch my breath and then he slams back inside of me. And he releases.
We both lay there, neither one of us says anything. I stare at the ceiling spent.
“Feel better?” Slade teases when he finally speaks.
I grin. “Much better.” I let out a breath. Shit that was good.
Slade holds me in my arms. “Promise me you trust I can handle this.”
I stroke his chest. “Of course I trust you.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
He lifts my hand and kisses my fingers. “That’s all I need to hear.”
Boil
Just like every nightmare I have dealt with for months this one is even worse. My dad is begging me, Please don’t do this!
But no matter what I do I can’t escape. I’m stuck in this sick messed up realm of my dream—is it even a dream?
And there he stands—Hutch. Looking at me, taunting me. How could this be in my mind? How could I be making this up? I see him.
“Leave me alone.” My body is shaking, but that doesn’t stop me from moving toward him. My hands, they are empty. They need to be armed because I am going to take him out once and for all.
I turn around and I concentrate hard. I force this world to give me what I need to take him out. And when I open my eyes I am staring at a beautiful dagger. Its silver blade glistens, it begs me to use it. The world begs me to use it.
“You are going to leave me alone,” I tell him. I only have one chance and I have to make it perfect. One chance to end it all. So I can get my normal back.
My dad’s voice echoes in the background.
“This is your life, doll,” Hutch tells me. “This is what you deserve.”
“No.” I shake my head and move toward him, the blade behind my back. “This isn’t what I deserve. I deserve to be happy.”
He doesn’t move or even notice that I have a hidden agenda.
“Then stop crying and do something about it.” He keeps on pushing me. “Grow some goddamn balls and do something, Hope.”
He won’t stop. He taunts me again and again until I am screaming and I lunge. I raise my arm, the one with the blade and I attack. I use both hands to push the blade deep inside of him and I cry out in satisfaction that what I wanted to happen did.
He drops to his knees, And gasp. He’s defeated—I’ve defeated him.
“Now go away!” I shove him to the ground and stand over his body screaming. “Leave me alone and don’t come back. You are not allowed here.”
He clutches his chest, feeling for the blade. A slow build of red fights to take over the color of his shirt. And Hutch’s hands shake, he fails to pull the blade from his chest.
“You are no longer welcome here!” I drop down beside him and say it again. “Go away!”
He grabs my arm and I fight to get away.
“Hope!” Someone is shaking me. Another violent shake brings me out of it, out of my dream. But I’m not lying in bed, I’m on my bedroom floor.
“Oh my god, what did I do?!” I scream. I kick away from the body lying in the middle of the floor. The body I put there. Slade’s body.
Kidd is beside Slade and Karsen holds onto me trying to get me to calm down. “Please tell me I didn’t stab him.”
But neither one of them will tell me that because I did stab Slade.
“Is he okay?” I ask Kidd. Kidd doesn’t answer me. He looks at me. He’s doesn’t look disgusted. There is no hate behind his eyes. “Kidd, please say something.”
Karsen smooths my hair. “Hope. We have something to tell you.”
I shake my head. “Just tell me that Slade is okay.” I break free from Karsen and crawl across the floor to Slade. I shake him. But he’s lifeless. I start sobbing. I think I killed my husband.
Kidd grabs my arm and shakes his head. “This is what he wanted. He wanted this.”
I am frantic. I think he is saying Slade wanted me to kill him.
But Kidd stops me. “Just calm down.”
“What do you mean calm down? I just killed my husband,” I sob.
Dax is in the doorway. “Who would have thought killing a shaman would come in handy?” He laughs, coming to stand next to Slade’s body.
Potion
“Dax was able to trap Hutch’s spirit in Slade’s body.” Kidd explains. “And Slade had enough faith in you to do what needed to be done to kill him.”
I am speechless. Everything that Slade said makes sense now. He had a plan. He always has a plan.
“And you did, Hope,” Karsen says.
Dax is next to his brother, one hand pressed on his chest and the other rest on his forehead. “You guys might not want to be in here for this.”
“Is he going to be okay?”
Kidd assures me he will be. “Yep. Why don’t we wait outside?”
“What about Dax?” I am worried what this might do to him.
“I’ll be fine. I always am.” He gives the familiar grin he’s known for and I reluctantly follow everyone out of the room.
“I killed him,” I let out a breath.
“You killed Hutch,” Karsen corrects. “Slade was just the vessel.”
That doesn’t make me feel better. It was still Slade laying there.
We stand out in the hallway hoping Dax is capable of what we think he is capable of—bringing back Slade—I couldn’t imagine this not working out. I don’t want to imagine this not working out.
Seconds turn into minutes and I pace.
“He did this for you,” Kidd tells me. “All these years there was one thing he kept mentioning.”
I wait for Kidd to explain.
“He’s always hated himself for what he did that night to you, even if it saved you.”
Karsen nods in agreement. “And he’s been beating himself up every day since this happened with Hutch. And even if you think he didn’t understand he really did.”
We stop talking when Dax screams. And I hear the most perfect sound. I hear Slade. I throw open the door and run into the room. Dax is up against the wall and Slade is sitting. He’s groggy, but he’s alive and that’s what matters the most.
“I could kill you,” I tell him, grabbing him.
“You already did,” he winces. “Careful this shit hurts.”
I look at his chest. He’s holding a towel against the spot where I plunged the knife.
“It’s not as bad as it looks I promise,” he assures me. “You are a lot more badass in your dream. You barely broke the skin.”
I hold onto him for dear life. “Please don’t ever do that again.”
“No reason to.” He smooths my hair. “Dax you all right?”
Dax says nothing.
I lift my head. Dax’s eyes are closed
. And he’s not moving.
“Kidd get your ass in here,” Slade yells. I follow him over to Dax. And Slade checks for a pulse. “Shit.”
Kidd drops down beside us. “Give him a few minutes. You know how these things can be.”
“What about a spell?” Karsen says from the doorway.
Kidd and Slade both shake their head. “We can’t. Any magic after this would attach Hutch back into this world. And everything we did would be for nothing.”
We all wait. Nobody says anything.
“Get him comfortable. This might be a while,” Kidd says. “We can put him in the bed.”
Karsen and I watch as they carry Dax from the floor to our bed. They do their best to make him comfortable and I pick up around the room until they leave. And then I go to his bedside.
“Thank you. For everything you did. But you have to come back, Dax. You were just starting to grow on us.”
Smoke
“Hope,” Slade says from the doorway of our bedroom. “I think you need to eat something.”
I sit back, realizing I have been in the same positions for hours staring at Dax waiting for him to open his eyes. My neck is stiff and my ass hurts from sitting on the window seat all this time.
“Will you stay with him?” I look at Slade. He nods and sits next to me.
“Go get something to eat.”
Before I stand up I need to know. “Are you sure he will be okay?”
“Dax will be okay.” I think he is telling me what I want to hear. “He’s going to be fine.”
“How do you know? It’s been hours, and he still hasn’t woke up.”
Slade sighs, a worn out sigh. The kind I hear after he’s been working late in the studio or when he is on tour. “Will you please take care of yourself? I’ll worry about my brother for a little while.”
I start to speak but he stops me. “Hope. I know how much you care about him. It’s easy to worry about this dumbass, he’s a good guy. And I love him. I may not show it but I do. I promise you he will be fine while you make a sandwich.”
I linger in the doorway watching Slade. He watches his brother with concern. He isn’t sure if Dax will pull through. He just doesn’t want to worry me.
I go into the kitchen. And I open the cupboard taking out the bread. I grab the peanut butter and jelly and lay it out on the counter. And I feel him—not Hutch. But my dad. I sense him in the room. It’s like nostalgia has taken over the minute I thought about him and I making sandwiches in the summer when I was little.
It’s not an eerie feeling, its actually a normal one I imagine anyone who has lost a loved one feels. He’s not haunting me, he is just with me. And I smile. I feel whole.
I make the sandwich and force myself to eat at least half of it. I even take a couple sips of the milk and put it back.
I take the hallway towards the front door and look at my unfinished painting. I see promise, I see passion. I see something I can have again now that things are okay. Hutch is gone. I am all right for once. I can feel it.
Kidd comes in the front door. “I told him I would stop by before bed.”
I nod. “He’s still sleeping.”
Kidd sees the concern in my eyes, he touches my arm and pulls me in for a hug. “Everything will be fucking fine for once. Just believe it.” He lets me go and retrieves something from his pocket.
“What is that?” I take it. It’s a silver ring. I look at Kidd and raise an eyebrow. “I hope my slip up didn’t make you fall in love with me.”
He smirks. “As much as I love you Karsen is the only girl for me.”
I nod in agreement. “She’s the perfect girl for you.”
He agrees with me. “The ring. It’s sort of charm. You ever watch those cheesy vampire shows like Karsen does?”
I shake my head. I don’t have time to deal with any other supernatural situation when I am dealing with mine all the time.
“Well the vampires, they have rings that lets them walk around and shit in the sun. And as long as they have them…”
I look at Kidd. “Are you saying this is what will keep things okay? He’ll stop haunting me?”
Kidd nods. “It was this or a tattoo. And Slade said you would hate the idea of anymore ink.”
I shake my head in total disagreement. “If that means I never have to worry about Hutch again I will tattoo my face like Mike Tyson.” I slip the ring on my finger. “I could lose this.”
“Well, it just so happens Oz has a tattoo gun and some mad drawing skills. I’m sure he would hook you up,” Kidd tells me. “I’m going to go check on Slade and Dax.”
I take a seat on the bottom of the steps. And twist the ring around my finger. To be banded for all eternity by a small piece of metal is a small price to pay to keep Hutch away.
Slade and Kidd shout for me. I can’t understand what they are saying but I can tell by the way they are saying it something good is happening. I hardly ever hear Slade laugh. I run the last few feet and push the door the open.
“Look who woke up,” Slade says as soon as I step into the room.
Dax shakes his head. “Don’t get too excited. You know that means you owe me.”
Slade rolls his eyes. “Yeah okay.” He pulls Dax in for a hug. “No, you’re right I do.”
I stay in the doorway. And Dax looks at me. “Come on. Give me a hug, you know you want to.”
I walk over to him ready to cry. I am so happy to see his stupid face after this. I make it to him and he crushes me in a bear hug. “You know, this was my best fucking moment ever.”
I laugh at him for saying such a thing. “Stop. You are so much more than saving me.”
Dax disagrees. “I was all right before. Now I am epic.” He hugs me once more before letting me go.
I look at Slade and my ring. He takes my hand. “A little hassle for a lifetime of happiness.”
I shake my head. “I want the tattoo.”
“You want the tattoo?” He eyes me, not believing I want another one.
“I will take whatever tattoo I need as long as it means I am okay.”
Slade shrugs. “Well shit. If you are getting one, I am getting one.”
“I might just get one too,” Dax tells me.
“Look at you trying to be like your big brother,” Kidd jokes standing up. “Thanks for the reunion guys. But I need to help Karsen put the baby to bed.”
I smile and say goodbye to Kidd and get up myself. “I need a shower. I feel dirty after stabbing my husband.”
Peace
Six months later
“I really am regretting the placement of this tattoo,” I announce to everyone as I take my spot on the towel next to Slade on the beach. Karsen is there, so is Kidd. Dax and his new hipster girlfriend. Even Oz and Erica. We’re all together, even my brothers. Even the baby.
Slade drops a hand on my stomach and caresses it so sweetly it brings tears to my eyes and that is so easy to do anymore.
“You look beautiful.” He kisses my stomach and looks at me. “Our kid will be beautiful.”
“You mean our daughter,” I say with a smile because we are having a girl. Because I am pregnant. Yes, I am pregnant. I can’t believe I am even uttering those words, but it’s true.
Slade strokes the small bit of tattoo showing on my hip. “My wife, my knocked up wife with her flaming skull tattoo.”
Kidd and Karsen laugh. Because they always laugh when we talk about my stupid tattoo. I don’t know why I picked a flaming skull, maybe I thought the more dangerous the more empowered I’d feel having it. I should’ve picked something cuter.
“At least it wasn’t a tramp stamp like John Redcorn,” Karsen giggles.
“Radcom!” We all say in unison.
“I haven’t even been here that long and I know you got his name wrong,” Dax jokes with her.az
Karsen stands up and takes the baby from Kidd. She shrugs. “You know what. It doesn’t fucking matter. You know why it doesn’t matter? Because the only man’s name I
should ever say is Kidd’s.”
“That’s right, sex kitten,” Kidd says jumping to his feet. “See you later. We are taking this guy for his first swim!”
I laugh, watching Karsen do her best to carry Xavier and chase Kidd to the water.
“What are they doing over there?” Slade ask referring to my brothers who are a few feet away talking to a group of girls.
I frown. “They are being horny teenagers. Dear god, I wish they were little again.”
“College next fall. I can’t fucking wait for that shit.” Slade lies back on his towel and closes his eyes. “They couldn’t have grown up soon enough if you ask me.”
I slap him in the arm. “You’re having a baby. You have another eighteen years of children to deal with.”
“And I will love every fucking minute of it.”
“You are going to have to stop saying fuck.” I smirk. I take the bottle of sunscreen and slather on another layer.
“Fuck,” Slade says.
The End