Mike Befeler Paul Jacobson Geezer-lit Mystery Series E-Book Box Set: Retirement Homes Are Murder, Living with Your Kids Is Murder, Senior Moments Are Murder, Cruising in Your Eighties Is Murder

by Mike Befeler

  The radio in the van squawked, and the animal control officer stepped over to answer.

  When he returned, I said, “If you come with me to my son’s house, I’ll show you that Max is there.”

  “I don’t have time for that. I received a call that a vicious pit bull is lose in Frasier Meadows.”

  “But I want to prove my innocence—”

  “He’s guilty,” Mr. Fisher said helpfully.

  “Sir, you can contest the tickets if you disagree,” the animal control officer said as he climbed in his van and drove away.

  Mr. Fisher stood there with his arms crossed. “Now—regarding this dog crap on my lawn.”

  * * * * *

  That evening I shook my head in disgust. Too many crimes had been heaped upon my innocent head. As I sat there feeling sorry for myself, Jennifer skipped into my room.

  “We need to work on your cases, Grandpa.”

  “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but don’t you have homework to do?”

  “Nope.” She smiled. “School’s over in two days, and I’m practically free.” Then her face turned serious. “Now we have to make sure that you stay free.”

  “I’m all for that.”

  “Let’s proceed into my office.”

  I followed her to her room, and she motioned me to sit in one of the two chairs by her desk.

  “Okay,” Jennifer said. “First step. Let’s start with my friend Katherine Milo’s disappearance.”

  I thought for a moment. “Here’s what I read. I walked you and your friend to her house after school. We left her there and the next thing I knew her crazy mother accused me of being at fault in her daughter’s disappearance.”

  Jennifer pursed her lips. “That was the last time I saw Katherine. She didn’t return to school.”

  “The logical explanation is that her father spirited her away somewhere.”

  “Yes. The police are looking for Mr. Milo. Mrs. Milo had the illogical notion that you aided and abetted that kidnapping.”

  “You sound so lawyerly.”

  Jennifer smiled. “You’re getting the best representation money can buy.”

  “Uh-oh. What are you charging me?”

  “See? You’ve forgotten. We settled on one Hawaiian stuffed animal for each case I take. With all the trouble you’re in, Grandpa, I’ll soon have a huge collection.”

  “It’ll be worth it. Besides, I don’t have anything else to spend money on. You and your folks will inherit any savings left when I kick the bucket.”

  “Don’t talk that way, Grandpa. I know you’ll live to be a hundred.”

  “Only if you save me from the electric chair.”

  She nodded her head. “Okey dokey. Back to the case. Mrs. Milo has even offered a reward for information leading to Katherine’s return. Five thousand dollars. We need to track down where Mr. Milo is hiding Katherine. Then when he’s captured, Mrs. Milo will forget about trying to blame you.”

  “Did Katherine ever mention to you any place her father had taken her before?”

  Jennifer scrunched her nose and looked upward. Then her eyes lit up. “Yes! She once told me he had a cabin up in the mountains. I’m going to call Mrs. Milo.”

  “Be careful of the dragon lady.”

  “There’s no problem. She likes me.” Jennifer reached for the phone extension in her room and punched in some numbers.

  “Mrs. Milo, this is Jennifer. I’m trying to help find Katherine . . . No, I haven’t heard from her . . . Yes, but I do have an idea. She once referred to visiting a mountain cabin with her dad. Do you know anything about that? . . . Okay, just wondering . . . Yes, I’ll let you know if she contacts me. Thanks.”

  Jennifer put the phone down and wrinkled her brow. “Mrs. Milo doesn’t know anything about a cabin her ex-husband owns. They never had a cabin when they were married.”

  “You have a good lead then,” I said. “A cabin only he knows of would be a logical place for him to go.”

  “I can’t remember Katherine telling me where it was.” Then her eyes gleamed. “But there’s someone else who might know. When she went to spend weekends with her dad in Lakewood, she made a friend in the neighborhood named Annette. She told me that she, Annette, Annette’s dad and her dad went fishing one time. Maybe they went up to the cabin.”

  “Did you tell this to Detective Lavino when he questioned you?”

  She shook her head. “No. I didn’t think of it until this moment.”

  “You better watch yourself, young lady. You don’t want to end up with a memory like mine.”

  She grinned. “No problem. I can always keep a journal like you do, Grandpa.”

  “Speaking of which, somewhere in my room I should have Detective Lavino’s phone number. I’m going to call to tell him to track down this Annette and her dad to see if they can locate Milo’s cabin.”

  I returned to my room, rummaged through some papers in the dresser, noticed the business cards of the murdered salesmen and eventually found a slip of paper with the name Lavino and a phone number. Success!

  I called the number, and a female voice answered.

  “I have some information on one of Detective Lavino’s cases,” I said.

  “Please wait a minute. I’ll try to locate him.”

  I twiddled the piece of paper while listening to static on the line. Reminded me of how my brain cells worked when I woke up in the morning.

  “Detective Lavino here,” a clear voice said.

  “Detective, this is Paul Jacobson.”

  “Well, well. How is my favorite witness and person of interest?”

  “I guess I should be proud that you’re so interested in me, but I have some information for you. My granddaughter, Jennifer, came up with something that should help you in regard to the Katherine Milo disappearance.”

  “I’m all ears.”

  “Katherine mentioned to Jennifer that her dad had a cabin in the mountains.”

  “That would have been useful information to tell me when I interviewed her.”

  “She just remembered it,” I said.

  “Memories have a way of coming and going in your family.”

  “With me it’s mostly going. One other helpful thing, Detective. Katherine had a friend in her dad’s neighborhood in Lakewood named Annette. Jennifer remembers Katherine saying that Annette and her dad had gone fishing with Mr. Milo and Katherine. There’s a chance that they went to the cabin and know where it is. If I were you, Detective, I’d track down Annette and her father. I bet that Milo has Katherine in that cabin.”

  “Do you have any additional basis for this suspicion?”

  “No. It’s my geezer intuition. And by the way, I didn’t cut down any trees.”

  “Is there something else you should be telling me, Mr. Jacobson?”

  “If you hear any more wild claims concerning yours truly, I’m innocent.”

  After hanging up, I returned to Jennifer’s room.

  “You’ve given him a lead now, Grandpa. We’ll see how good a detective he is.”

  “I hope he’s as persistent in following up on what I told him as he is in bugging me.”

  “Maybe he likes you, Grandpa. I know I do.” She gave me a hug.

  How could you argue with logic like that?

  Jennifer stepped back and looked at me. “Do you remember your dreams, Grandpa?”

  “What kind of question is that?”

  “With your memory problems do you remember dreams?”

  I thought back. “I can’t remember any recent ones. As a boy I had dreams of flying. We had a big oak tree in the pasture behind our house. I dreamt once of soaring from a branch in that tree. A red bird flew with me. That’s when I knew I dreamed in color.”

  “That’s a nice dream. I sometimes dream that I’m floating around the house. I like that kind of dream.”

  Allison looked into the room. “Speaking of dreams, it’s time for you to get ready for bed.”

  “Aw, Mom. Grandpa and I are
making progress on one of his cases.”

  “You two can continue tomorrow night, and then once summer vacation begins, you’ll have time during the day.”

  Jennifer’s eyes widened, and she turned toward me. “That’s right, Grandpa. We’ll be able to do some of our own investigating and follow clues. We’ll have lots of time between morning swim practice and afternoon tennis team.”

  “Ah, the wonders of youthful energy,” I said.

  * * * * *

  The next night Jennifer and I continued our planning. After reviewing the litany of charges, Jennifer bit her lip and then said, “With tomorrow the last day of school, I’d better get cracking on talking again to Teddy Bishop and Randy Buchanan. I already spoke to them once regarding the false claims they made in the bathroom at the game night.”

  “What did they say?”

  “When I confronted them one at a time, each stuck to his story. I caught them together later and told them they could get kicked out of school for lying.”

  “Did that have any effect?”

  Jennifer smiled. “I’ll say. They both looked at each other guiltily. Then they ran off. I think they’re worried. I’ll have to put some more pressure on them tomorrow to see if I can get them to crack.”

  “Even if you get them to confess to you, it doesn’t mean they’ll admit it in front of the police.”

  The corners of Jennifer’s mouth turned up and her eyes sparkled. “I’ll do what you did in Hawaii that one time. I’ll record my interview with them. Mom has a small tape recorder. I’ll borrow it.”

  “I don’t know if that will work.”

  “I’m going to try. I can use the same pressure techniques Detective Lavino always uses on you.”

  “Are you turning into a cop as well as a lawyer?”

  She smiled. “Maybe I can combine private investigation with my law practice.”

  “Don’t get too carried way. You’re only twelve.”

  “I know. But I’ll train now and be ready by the time I graduate from law school.” She rubbed her stomach. “You want a snack?” So saying, she skipped off toward the kitchen.

  * * * * *

  The next morning Jennifer headed off to school armed with a recording device.

  “She only has a half day of school today,” Allison said.

  “That daughter of yours will clear my good name. She’s quite a pistol.”

  “When Jennifer sets her mind to something, she’s very persistent.”

  “I bet when she’s old enough to have a boyfriend, he’ll have to toe the line.”

  “She already has a boyfriend,” Allison said.

  “What? She’s too young.”

  “Paul, at this age it means that they ignore each other less than usual. He’s a boy on her swim team named Neal Wooten.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t even imagine what kind of boy Jennifer would choose as a boyfriend.”

  “You can find out for yourself. There’s a swim meet on Saturday.”

  “I don’t know if I should show up at the swim and tennis club again, being the scene of the lost money box.”

  “I won’t make you take over the bake sale this time,” Allison said and patted my arm.

  * * * * *

  That afternoon when Jennifer returned from school, I met her at the door. “Any luck?” I asked.

  She gave me a sunny smile. “Wait until you hear the tape.”

  “Did it turn out?”

  “I haven’t listened to it, but I forced them to admit that they made up the story.”

  “Tell me exactly what happened.”

  “I caught up with Teddy and Randy before school. They were sitting on the wall in front of the building. I looked each of them in the eyes and said, ‘It’s a shame you two will be in the school detention program all summer.’ ” She giggled. “You should have seen how big their eyes grew. Then I told them that if they confessed to making up the accusation, the principal would go light on them.”

  “And what did they say?”

  “They both blurted out that it was a joke and they didn’t mean any harm. That’s what’s on the tape. I told them to go speak with the principal immediately to clear things up.”

  “Did they do that?”

  Jennifer frowned. “I don’t know for sure. The bell rang. We aren’t in any classes together, and I didn’t see them when school let out.”

  “Let’s hear the tape,” I said.

  Jennifer rewound and played it. You could hear Jennifer clearly, followed by the voices of the two boys. She had definitely put the fear of God in them.

  “Good work,” I said. “We’ll give this to Detective Lavino the next time he comes sniffing around.”

  That night Jennifer and I discussed the Colorado Mountain Retirement Properties outfit.

  “Let me see if I can find anything new on the Internet,” Jennifer said and began tapping on her keyboard. “Here’s an article from the Chaffee County Times.” She pointed to the screen.

  I read the article which described zoning hearings taking place concerning the proposed site for a new retirement facility.

  “They don’t even have approval yet on that property,” I said. “They’re selling lots which may or may not ever be available. We need to print this out for Detective Lavino.”

  “I can do one better. I’ll email it to him.”

  “How do you know where to send it?”

  “I’ll search for his email address.” She clicked away on the keys again. “There. I found it.”

  I scratched my head. “How do you do these things?”

  “Easy, Grandpa. I scanned the Boulder Police Department web site and found a list of detectives and contact information. I’ll write him a note and attach the article.”

  Minutes later she had completed the task, none too soon because the warden showed up.

  “Okay,” Allison said, with her hands on her hips. “There’s a swim meet tomorrow. Lights out in ten minutes.”

  “I need to log off, Mom. We’re making progress on helping Grandpa.”

  “Well, you help yourself into bed, young lady.”

  * * * * *

  The next morning Allison made sure we rose early. After eating a hearty breakfast, we clambered into the family van along with a pile of towels, folding chairs, sweatshirts, blankets, ice chests and extra swim goggles. I didn’t know if we were going to a local swim meet or the Olympics.

  When we arrived at the club, we set up alongside the pool.

  Jennifer dashed off to swim her warm-up laps, and Allison signaled for Denny and me to follow her. “I need you two big, strong men to help me blow up balloons.”

  “We having a party?” I asked. “I used to blow up balloons for Denny’s birthday parties all the time. You remember that, Son?”

  “I sure do. You and Mom always decorated the house for my birthdays.”

  “While you two reminisce, grab some balloons and start blowing so we can decorate the club with our team’s colors,” Allison said as she handed each of us a bunch of green and white balloons.

  I huffed and puffed and discovered that I still had good lung power. I tied off my first balloon with a flourish.

  “How’d you do that so quickly?” Allison asked.

  “The secret is in the placement of a finger on the stem and a quick flick of the wrist,” I said, demonstrating it. “Not bad for an old fart, eh?”

  I finished off a dozen balloons, knowing I had done my part for the home team.

  Then I prepared for a morning of watching kids thrash in the water. Only they didn’t thrash. They zipped along like baby seals. If I had been in the pool, I’d have been the one thrashing.

  Allison leaned over and said to me, “There’s Jennifer’s boyfriend, Neal Wooten.”

  “Where?”

  “In the third lane.”

  I squinted. I could only see a head covered with goggles and a swim cap, bobbing up and down, arms churning like a windmill. When he finished his heat, he jumped
out of the pool and disappeared into a crowd of kids so I couldn’t get a good look at him.

  An hour into the event Jennifer came over, leading a boy three inches shorter than she was. “Grandpa, meet my friend Neal Wooten.”

  I examined him up and down. Skinny, with a little belly that didn’t fit for a swimmer, pimples, braces, orange-ish complexion and a squashed face.

  He gave me a shiny grin. “You’re the guy who took money at the last swim meet.”

  I felt like drowning the little whelp. “Where’d you hear that?”

  “Some of the fifteen-to-eighteens mentioned it in the locker room. They said Jacobson, and Jennifer’s the only Jacobson in the club.”

  “I didn’t take any money, and I’d appreciate it if you would set the record straight with whoever is spreading false information.”

  “Okay. I need to get ready for my next heat.” He turned and jogged off toward the staging area.

  “Isn’t he cool, Grandpa?”

  I didn’t want to dispel her enthusiasm. “I guess he’s all right.” I didn’t share my view that he reminded me of something you’d find in an aquarium.

  Chapter 12

  On Sunday afternoon, Jennifer raced into my room. “Grandpa, we have a lead on the stolen money. One of my friends, Annie, saw some funny looking bills in the toy store at the Pearl Street Mall.”

  “Let’s go check it out.”

  Jennifer hung her head. “I’d like to, but my friend, Rebecca, is coming over to play in an hour.”

  “I’ll go have a look.”

  “Great, Grandpa. Here, Mom gave me her cell phone for you to use. You can call home with any report.”

  I eyed the electronic contraption she handed me. “I don’t know how to use those damn things.”

  “It’s easy. Just push the green button and talk.”

  “If you say so.” I took the cell phone and stuffed it in my pocket. “Now where am I going?”

  While Jennifer looked up the address for me, I found a notepad to put in my pocket. Then with some further guidance, I took the number 203 bus which picked me up right in front of the middle school and deposited me at the end of the line on 14th and Walnut. From there I navigated the short distance to the Pearl Street Mall.

  At the designated address I found a window displaying some stuffed animals. I decided I could kill two birds with one bus ticket. I’d buy Jennifer a present as a first installment on her attorney fees and see if any funny money showed up. As I entered the shop, a bell jangled and a brown-haired man in crumpled jeans and sweatshirt appeared from a back room.