Perhaps it was.
“You are good at this,” Anna told Lucinda as they both stood looking into the mirror. Even Anna’s hair looked right.
“Thanks.” Lucinda grinned. “I like helping at my mom’s fashion shoots.”
Just then Madison’s Blackberry rang, and it was Jacob saying he was downstairs waiting. “Thank you for helping me,” Anna told Lucinda as they rode down in the elevator. “It makes me not so nervous.”
“That’s right.” Lucinda nodded. “Good fashion is a great confidence builder.”
Anna did not admit that she was still nervous, just not quite as much as before. When she saw Jacob waiting in the lobby, looking even more handsome than yesterday, she wondered . . . perhaps she could do this. She introduced him to Lucinda and the three of them talked for a bit in the lobby.
“Well, you two better get going,” Lucinda said. “There’s a lot to see in the city.”
Anna thanked her again. Lucinda asked her to call when she got home, then she winked at Anna as if they had a secret.
“You look very pretty,” Jacob told Anna as they went outside. “Just like a real American girl.”
“Thank you.” Tingles went down her spine as he cupped his hand around her elbow, walking her down the sidewalk.
“I thought we would take the subway,” he said.
“The underground train?” she asked.
“Yes. It’s a good way to get around.”
“Better than taxis?”
He laughed. “Cheaper anyway. Maybe quicker too.”
“You have learned so much in such a short time,” she told him as he led her down a stairway tunnel.
He nodded. “It was like I belonged here, Anna. I felt it almost as soon as I arrived.”
“Oh.” She tried to comprehend this. “What did you do?” she asked as they got into the back of a line of people. “Where did you stay? Did you have money?”
As they rode the underground train, he explained how it was a little rough at first, but he quickly made some good connections. “We aren’t the only ones who have left home like this,” he told her. “There are good people who help people like us.” He told her about a man named Robert who had found a place for Jacob to live, a house with a lot of other young men, and helped them to find jobs and to get into the GED program. “I take the test next month,” he said as they emerged back up a tunnel stairway and onto the sidewalk. “Robert is already helping me to find some scholarship money.”
“Scholarship money?”
“For college, Anna. I plan to go to college.”
“Oh yes.” She nodded.
“I want to get my law degree.”
Again she nodded, but she really wasn’t sure what that meant. “Where are we going?” she asked.
“This is Battery Park,” he said. “I thought you might like to take a ferry to see the Statue of Liberty.”
“A ferry?”
“A boat.”
Anna had never been on a boat before. The idea of being out on water like that made her uneasy. “I would like to see the Statue of Liberty,” she admitted.
“Robert brought some of us here a few weeks ago,” Jacob said as they walked. “I thought you might enjoy it too.”
When they reached the place where tickets were sold, Jacob looked uneasy. “I didn’t know it was so expensive,” he whispered to her.
She looked down at Madison’s shiny black purse. So far she had been very frugal with Madison’s money and credit cards. But this was her last day in New York, and here she was with Jacob, so she decided to set her worries aside. “I will buy our tickets,” she told him. She used Madison’s credit card, trying to remember how Madison said it worked, and told herself she could repay Madison with the money that Lucinda’s mother was going to pay her for sewing.
As they waited to get on the boat, Anna told Jacob about what Lucinda had said about working for her mother.
Jacob looked surprised. “You are thinking about staying in New York?”
She smiled. “Maybe.”
It was exciting to get on the boat, but when it started to move, Anna got queasy. Her legs felt wobbly and she was afraid she was going to vomit.
“Are you all right?” Jacob peered at her.
She held her stomach and shook her head.
“Come out in the fresh air,” he urged, tugging her toward a door.
Being outside helped a bit, but the wind was cold and Anna began to feel that this boat trip was a mistake.
“You stay here,” Jacob told her. “I’ll go get you something to drink.” He returned with a soda. “Here,” he said, “drink this.”
She didn’t care much for soda, but after a few sips she did feel a bit better. When Jacob pointed out the majestic green statue standing on a building right in the middle of the water, she nearly forgot her queasy stomach. “She is so beautiful,” Anna said.
Jacob told her about how the statue had been a gift from France and how all the immigrants to the United States had come past her, arriving on Ellis Island. “But not our ancestors,” he said. “They came to America before the Statue of Liberty.”
After the boat trip, Jacob asked Anna what else she wanted to see. “Nothing by boat,” she told him. “I want to stay on solid ground.”
He laughed. “No more boats.” He decided on the Empire State Building, which was another tall, impressive building, but when he asked her if she wanted to go to the top of it to look down, she firmly shook her head. “It makes me dizzy to look down from the penthouse. I would not like to go all the way up there and look down. I keep my feet on solid ground.”
“Maybe another time,” he said. As he was taking her back toward another stairway tunnel, she stopped him.
“Can we ride in a taxi instead?”
He shrugged. “If you want to pay for it.”
“I will.” Going so fast underneath the ground made Anna nervous. It took a while for a taxi to stop, but finally they were riding inside one and she began to relax a little. At least the taxi didn’t go as fast as the underground train.
“Grand Central Terminal,” Jacob told the driver.
“What is that?” she asked. He explained that it was the train station, but well worth seeing. They walked around the enormous building for about an hour and then went back outside and waited, even longer this time, for a taxi to stop for them.
Anna was tired now, but she didn’t want to admit it.
“Saint Patrick’s Cathedral,” Jacob called to the front seat.
It wasn’t too long before the taxi stopped in front of an ornate-looking old building. “Wait for us,” Jacob said to the driver.
They got out and walked around, looking at the giant structure. Yes, it was pretty, and yes, it was huge, but Anna felt like a child who had eaten too many pancakes with syrup. She was full. Too full.
Back in the taxi, she let out a tired sigh, closing her eyes and leaning back. “I think I have seen enough sights for today.”
“We’re not too far from your building,” he told her. “Do you want to go home?”
Home? Did she want to go home?
“Anna?”
“Ja?” She sat up and opened her eyes.
“Are you all right?”
“Ja, ja. I am fine. Just tired is all.” She realized she hadn’t eaten lunch. “Hungry too. Are you hungry, Jacob?”
He was, so he told the driver the address of the penthouse building, and when they got there, Anna paid him. As she slipped the wallet back into the purse, she realized that Madison’s cash had dwindled considerably today. “We can eat in the penthouse,” she told Jacob.
“Unless you want to go out to eat,” he said.
“Go out to eat?”
“In a restaurant.”
“Oh yes.” She nodded. “We can do that.”
“I think there are some good restaurants around here,” he told her. “We can walk if you want.”
Although the tall black boots were starting to hurt her fee
t, she agreed to walk. After about twenty minutes of painful walking, they finally found a restaurant, but before they went in, Jacob’s phone rang. Anna waited as he answered. It still seemed strange seeing him in this setting, dressed like an Englisher and using a cell phone.
After he said hello, she saw his eyes light up. His voice grew warm and friendly, and she heard him say the name Monica. Suddenly it was like she had rabbit ears.
“No, no,” he said. “I didn’t forget. Don’t worry. I’ll still be home in time.” He paused to listen. “Yes. I’m looking forward to it too. See you soon.” He closed his phone and turned to Anna. She must have had a suspicious expression on her face because suddenly Jacob looked very uncomfortable.
“Who is Monica?” Anna asked.
“She is a friend.”
“A girlfriend?”
Jacob shrugged, then smiled in a way that seemed to suggest guilt. “She is a girl. She is a friend.”
Anna no longer felt hungry. “I have a strong feeling,” she said softly, “that this Monica person is important to you.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced over his shoulder.
“Please be honest, Jacob.”
“I am being honest.” He looked directly into her eyes. “I never—not in a million years—expected you to come to New York, Anna. I knew I was never going back home. I honestly thought that what we had was over.”
She took in a quick breath. “So we are over?”
He took his hands out of his pockets and placed them on her cheeks. “I don’t know, Anna. You bewilder me. First it seems you have no interest in leaving your family and that you will never change. Then I see you today.” He smiled at her. “You are like a real New Yorker. A totally different person. I like it.”
She didn’t know what to say.
“Maybe I should ask you,” he said. “Is it over?”
“What are you saying to me?” she asked. “What is your intention?”
“My intention?” His mouth twisted to one side. “I intend to go to college. I intend to make a life for myself.”
“I mean what is your intention for me?”
“For you?” He looked confused. “I don’t know what you want, Anna. If you like New York, you should stay here. Maybe you could go to school or get a job.”
“And what then?”
He held up his hands. “I don’t know. It’s not for me to decide, is it?”
“Isn’t it?”
“What are you asking me, Anna? Are you asking—will I marry you? Because I don’t know the answer to that. I have a lot to do before I think about things like marriage.”
“What about Monica?”
“I would tell her the same thing. She’s not pressuring me. Monica doesn’t want to get married any more than I do. We understand the way this world works. You go to school, you get a career, you establish yourself, and then you think about marriage.”
Anna felt a rock in the bottom of her stomach. “I am not hungry anymore,” she told him.
“Okay.” He nodded in a brisk, formal sort of way. “Do you want me to walk you back to your building?”
She slowly shook her head. “No, I want you to leave, Jacob. I want you to say goodbye.”
“Goodbye . . . forever?” His eyes looked sad, but his mouth was firm.
She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from spilling.
“Does this mean you’re going back?” he asked. “To live the old life again? You could settle for that, after seeing this?”
“Yes. I am going back.” She opened her eyes and studied him for a long moment. He was not her Jacob anymore. He was someone else. “Goodbye, Jacob,” she whispered. “God go with you.”
He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “I wish you well, Anna.” He turned and hurried away . . . almost as if he were relieved.
Her tears fell freely as she walked back to Madison’s building. She tried to tell herself that her feet ached far worse than her heart, but she did not believe it.
22
After everyone in the house was quiet, Madison slipped out of bed, pausing to make sure Elizabeth was not stirring. She tiptoed down the hallway and down the wooden stairs, carefully avoiding the squeaky treads. Thankful for the moonlight coming in through the recently cleaned windows, she crept through the living room and the kitchen and went out the door.
Holding her skirt in her hands, she dashed across the yard to the barn, where she pulled a candle from her apron pocket and lit it with a match. She set the candle on the wooden ledge by the phone, and using its flickering light to see, she dialed the numbers and waited for Anna to answer. When Anna said hello, she didn’t sound quite right.
“Is that you, Anna?”
“Yes. It’s me.” Her voice was gruff and flat sounding.
“Did I wake you up?” Madison asked.
“No. I am awake.”
“Are you okay?”
There was a long pause, and then Anna began to pout out a sad story of how she’d spent the day with Jacob, how she’d dressed up and nearly gotten sick on a boat, gone to places she didn’t want to go, gotten horrible blisters on her feet—only to find out that Jacob didn’t really love her. Even worse, he had found someone else.
“I’m so sorry, Anna.”
“It is for the best.” Anna’s tone didn’t match her words.
“Really?”
“I know it is better this way. I know I cannot live in the English world. I do not belong here. I do not like it. I wish I never came here.”
“But if you hadn’t gone to New York, you wouldn’t have found Jacob. You wouldn’t have discovered the truth about him. And you might’ve spent your whole life pining away for him, wondering if you two belonged together.”
“Ja, you are probably right. Still, it is hard. It hurts.”
“At least you know that it was never meant to be, Anna. You can get on with your life now. You wouldn’t have known that without visiting New York.”
“Yes, that is true enough.” Her voice broke again. “Even so—I want to leave here. I want to go home!” Now she was sobbing.
“You can’t go home yet,” Madison reminded her. “Not to your parents’ house anyway, because Rachel still needs—”
“No, no. It’s all right. Being with Rachel is almost like home. I just don’t want to be here anymore, Madison. I wish I had never come to this big place. I want to leave right now.”
“That’s why I’m calling. You need to take an early bus tomorrow morning. Have you gotten your ticket yet?”
“No. In my misery, I forgot about it.”
“Well, you need to be here first thing in the morning. Maybe by eight or nine at the latest. Can you figure it out and do that?”
“Yes.” Anna’s voice was firm with resolve. “I will be there.”
Madison heard something rustling in the barn—probably a cow, but just in case, she knew she should cut this short. “Good. I’ll see you in the morning. Just be there, okay?”
“I will.”
“Things are going to get better, Anna.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just know. I’ll be praying for you.”
“You will pray for me?” Anna sounded surprised.
“Yes. You don’t have to be Amish to pray.”
After they said goodbye, Madison replaced the receiver back on the phone, puffed out the candle, then listened to make sure no one was around. Satisfied that she’d only heard one of the animals, she put the candle back into her pocket and slipped out into the farmyard. The three-quarter moon was high in the sky now, illuminating the fields with a milky light that seemed to be inviting her for one last rendezvous with the nighttime countryside. As she walked through the field and the high grass, crickets were chirruping happily and the owl let out three hoots as if to say hello.
Madison stood looking out over the pond for a few minutes, soaking in the sounds of night creatures, the smells of the earth and the blooming fruit trees and
the water, and the beauty of the moon reflected on the black glassy surface of the pond. She sat on the now familiar bench and sighed.
She was going to miss this place. She wondered how she could replicate this part of her day once she was back in the busy city. Central Park was right by her building, but she knew better than to go down there by herself at night. Perhaps there were other ways to find this sort of place—perhaps it was a spiritual place as much as it was a physical one.
She would have to explore these things another time, because right now she wanted to keep her promise to pray for Anna. It had been disturbing to hear Anna’s deep sadness tonight. Madison felt somewhat guilty for her pain. If she hadn’t encouraged the life swap, Anna would not have discovered that Jacob no longer loved her.
Yet, like Madison had suggested, it could be a blessing in disguise (as Rachel would say) that Anna had learned the truth. At least she could move on now. So that was how Madison prayed—that God would help Anna to shake off her grief and to realize that she had her whole life ahead of her.
Madison also prayed for Anna’s relationship with her aunt. She asked God to help Anna see Rachel in a new light, and to deepen their friendship. Perhaps it would take a miracle, but wasn’t that God’s business? Then she prayed for the whole family, starting with Daniel and clear on down to her namesake, baby Maddie.
Next she prayed for Malachi. She asked God to bring good out of his heartache and to make himself as real to Malachi as he had to her. And to show Malachi that he should get baptized because he knew he loved God . . . not because he supposed he loved a woman.
Finally, she prayed for the people back in her own world. She prayed for family and friends, and she asked God to help her to take what she’d found here—this sense of peace and purpose and connection with him—back to the city with her. That, she knew, would take a miracle too. But she suspected God was up to it.
23
It was almost ten o’clock when Anna called Lucinda. She knew it was late, but this was something like an emergency. At least it was to Anna. “I’m sorry to call—”
“Hey, Anna.” Lucinda sounded cheerful. “I’m so glad you called.”
Double Take Page 19