“Then why did you smile at me? Why did you look at me that way? Why did you cast your line and reel me in? You knew you weren’t Anna. You knew you would go.”
“You’re right,” she admitted. “The truth is I found you very attractive. You caught me by surprise that day we met, and I was swept up in the moment.”
He glanced her way, then put his eyes back on the dirt road.
“You know how it is in the English world,” she reminded him. “You’ve lived there too. Guys and girls act differently. I was still in an Englisher state of mind when I met you and was acting very much like an Englisher girl. I was flirting with you, Malachi. I can admit that.”
“That’s right.” He nodded. “You were flirting with me.”
“You were flirting with me too.”
A very small smile touched the corner of his mouth. “But my flirting was genuine. I knew who I was, and I thought I knew who you were. I didn’t know you were playing a game with me.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I briefly wondered what it would be like to abandon my old life and actually become Amish and stay here.”
He turned and peered curiously at her. “Is that the truth?”
She nodded. “It is true. It didn’t take long before I figured things out. I knew that was not going to happen.”
“Yet you led me on?”
“Think about it, Malachi. How much time did we really spend together?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Less than two hours, not counting now.”
“But I thought about you every day, and every night too. Almost every waking minute, you were on my mind, Anna.” He cleared his throat. “I mean Madison.”
“But can’t you see you were thinking about who you thought I was?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you didn’t really know me, Malachi. You only knew who you assumed I was, the person I was pretending to be. You were falling for an illusion.”
“Maybe.”
“Where I come from, that’s called a crush.”
“I know what a crush is.”
“A crush is not something you build your life around, Malachi.”
He stuck his chin out and shook the reins, causing the horse to move faster.
“Now that that’s out of the way, I have something important to tell you.”
He turned and glanced at her again.
“You will be driving the real Anna back here, right?”
He nodded with eyes forward.
“Even though Anna and I look alike and—”
“You and Anna look alike?” He seemed surprised by this.
“Don’t you remember I told you that when I confessed I wasn’t Anna?”
He frowned. “I was so mad . . . my brain might not have been working too well.”
She chuckled. “I know how that is. Well, anyway, yes, Anna and I could pass for twins. That’s why this whole switch seemed to make sense at the time. But even though Anna looks like me, she is very different.”
“How so?”
“For one thing, she’s just suffered getting her heart broken.”
He nodded as if he could relate.
“She’s feeling confused about a lot of things. And she doesn’t get along that well with Rachel. I just think she could use a good friend. That’s all I’m saying.”
“And you think I’d make a good friend?”
“I know you would, Malachi.”
Madison told him about how Anna was trying to find Jacob and how it hadn’t turned out the way she’d hoped.
“Was Anna going to stay there if Jacob had asked her?” Malachi asked.
“I don’t know for sure. That’s something you’d have to ask her.”
As he turned onto the main road, Madison began to tell him that she felt like she had discovered God here. She explained how it felt to be in nature, how she had started to pray, and how she planned to continue to do so when she returned to the city.
“I thought I was connecting to God too,” he admitted.
“You thought you were? Meaning you’re not now?”
“I don’t know. I still feel confused. I’m still thinking about getting baptized. I don’t think I can go back to the English lifestyle.” He began telling her about how much he loved making furniture, how good it felt to take a piece of wood and work it until it turned into something useful. His uncle was a fine craftsman and felt Malachi had good potential.
“You’re not into farming?”
He chuckled. “I only help Uncle Daniel because my uncles had an agreement when it was decided I should come here. I think Uncle Daniel would prefer someone else working his fields. My heart is not in it.”
Madison shared her brown bag breakfast with Malachi as they continued talking. They were just coming into town when she realized she was sad that this relationship was ending. In some ways, Malachi was an even better person than she’d imagined—as good on the inside as he was on the outside. Yet their lives were worlds apart.
“Will you be glad to go home?” he asked as he turned onto a side street to park the buggy.
She looked around to see cars and people dressed the way she remembered, and the familiarity was comforting. “Yes, there are definitely a lot of things I missed about modern life.”
“Not me.” He firmly shook his head. “I don’t miss it at all. I don’t think I’m ever going back.”
“I know there are things I’ll miss about the Amish lifestyle,” she admitted as he helped her down from the buggy. “I hope I can take some of the things I learned with me—like how to live more simply, to slow down.”
“You think you can get the best of both worlds?” His expression was doubtful.
“I hope I can.”
“Good luck with that.” He smiled in a knowing way, then pointed down the street. “Uncle Daniel asked me to pick up a package for him. And Aunt Rachel had some errands for me to do.”
“Why don’t you just meet up with us at the coffee shop when you’re done?”
“All right.” He dipped his head, then went on his way.
As Madison walked toward the coffee shop, she felt an unexpected rush of regret and reluctance. If she could have done this whole thing differently, would she? If she could wave a magic wand that would make her family and friends all understand and accept it, would she become Amish for good?
Just then she saw herself—rather, she saw Anna dressed in her clothes and walking down the sidewalk toward her—and Madison realized she did want to go back to her old life. She did miss it.
She wanted to run toward Anna, to hug her and exclaim how good it was to see her, but she knew that would draw attention. Instead she continued walking, and together they went into the coffee shop and discreetly headed back to the restroom. They both went in, and Madison locked the door behind them.
“Wow.” Madison stared at Anna. “This is so weird. You look more like me than I do.”
Anna giggled. “I know what you mean.”
“Ready to switch back?”
Anna nodded. “Let’s do this.”
Madison turned her back and started to undress. After she handed the dress back to Anna, she realized her mistake. “Oh, Anna,” she said. “I totally forgot to bring my own underwear.”
“Oh, well, I guess you can just wear mine home.” Anna handed Madison her shirt.
“I’m sorry.”
Anna giggled. “Where did you leave them?”
“Under the mattress.”
“It’s good that Rachel does not clean too deeply.” Anna handed over the jeans. “She will not find them.”
Madison frowned as she put on her own jeans, surprised at how confining they felt as she zipped them up. They pinched at her waist as she bent to pull on the boots.
“Sorry.” Anna looked contrite as they both stood before the mirror, making the appropriate adjustments to their hair and faces. “I didn’t mean to sound like that,” she said. “I want to be mo
re positive about my aunt.”
“That would be nice.” Madison was digging through her purse, making sure her keys were there, and even pausing to put on some lip gloss and mascara. Maybe old habits really did die hard.
“Still, it’s good Rachel won’t find your Englisher girl underthings in my bed. I would have some explaining to do.”
“Rachel already knows.”
Anna stopped pinning her hair. “Rachel knows? You mean she knows about us—about the switch?”
“Yes. She figured it out after the baby was born. I meant to tell you, but we were talking so much and you were telling me about Jacob, and I guess I forgot.”
“Oh no.” Anna shook her head. “This is not good.”
“No, Rachel is okay with it.” Madison fluffed her hair, surprised at how much body it had after being pinned up so much. Still, she looked different. She knew it.
Anna looked stunned. “Rachel knows that I sent a stranger into her home, to be with her and her children, to sleep in her bed, and she is okay with that?”
Madison nodded as she slipped on her watch and bracelet, then closed her purse.
“What about Uncle Daniel? Surely he is not okay with it?”
“He doesn’t know. Rachel said it’s our secret.”
“You are sure about that?” Anna looked skeptical.
“Positive.” Madison reached over to help with Anna’s hair. “You will not believe this, Anna.”
“What?”
“Rachel named her baby after me.”
Anna blinked. “She named her baby Madison?”
Madison giggled and nodded.
“Uncle Daniel said that was all right?”
Madison shrugged. “She said he’d named the others and it was her turn.”
“Aunt Rachel must really like you.”
“I like her too, Anna. She is a truly good person.”
Anna just shook her head.
“The baby is so sweet. You will love her.” Madison sighed. “All of Rachel’s children are very sweet.”
Anna looked unconvinced.
“Elizabeth is a darling. And guess what—I made her a dress.”
“You made a dress?” Anna looked stunned. “You know how to sew?”
“Barely. It wasn’t easy. It still needs to be hemmed.”
“I can do that.”
“Denki.” Madison stared at their reflections in the mirror—totally changed and yet totally the same. It was weird.
“Are you ready?” Anna asked. “Is everything in place?”
“Yes.” Madison nodded. “We’re all put back together.”
Anna used a wet paper towel to wipe a spot of mascara from her cheek, then sighed. “It’s such a relief not to be you anymore.”
Madison laughed. “Same back at you.” Although, even as she said this, Madison wondered if it was completely true. She wondered if she would someday look back and regret that she wasn’t born into Anna’s family.
25
“I have a lot to tell you still,” Madison said as they emerged from the bathroom. “Let’s get some coffee and talk until it’s time to go.”
“Yes. I am starving.” Anna suddenly remembered the donuts in the bus station.
“It’s on me,” Madison said as they went to order.
As Madison paid with a credit card, Anna remembered the packet of money still zipped inside a pocket of Madison’s purse. Perhaps she should just leave it there, to pay Madison back for the money she’d used.
They carried their coffees and pastries to the same table they’d sat at last Saturday. Anna could not believe it had only been a week. So much could happen in a week.
“What did you think of the simple life?” Anna asked as she broke her cinnamon roll apart. “A little different from Manhattan?”
Madison chuckled as she set down her coffee. “Just a little. At first I went into what I think is called culture shock. I mean how do you get used to living without hot water and—”
“That’s right,” Anna said. “I forgot that Aunt Rachel’s house doesn’t have hot tap water.”
“Does your house?”
Anna nodded. “Oh yes. My father put in a propane-powered water heater.”
“Really? That’s not against the Ordnung?”
“Not where we live. Maybe not all of Aunt Rachel’s settlement either. I think Uncle Daniel is old-fashioned about some things.” Anna was remembering more now. “Like their old wood-burning cookstove—I assume they still use it?”
“Yes.” Madison sighed. “What a pain.”
“My mamm has a propane stove. Much easier.”
“Not all Amish live the same?”
“Every settlement is different.” Anna explained some of the other differences. “Not all English have homes as fancy as yours?”
“That’s true.”
“Lucinda said that your family is very, very rich, Madison.” Anna took a sip of coffee.
Madison just nodded.
“She also told me about how you used to be her best friend.”
Madison frowned. “Did she tell you what ended our friendship?”
“She said it was a boy. Then Vivian stepped in.” Anna remembered something. “Vivian left you a lot of phone messages. Angry messages. I wonder if she is really your friend now.”
Madison shrugged. “Maybe not.”
“Lucinda is a nice person.” Anna smiled.
“How do you know so much about Lucinda anyway?”
Anna told about helping Lucinda sew things for her mother’s fashion show. “Her mother paid me. It’s in the pocket of your purse.”
Madison reached for her purse, removed the envelope, and set it in front of Anna.
“I left it for you,” Anna explained.
“Why?”
“To repay you for—”
“No way.” Madison shook her head. “It’s yours, Anna. You earned it.”
“What about the money I used, the credit cards and—”
“I told you to do that. After all you went through last week, it’s a small price.”
“Yes . . . freedom is not all I thought it would be.”
Madison chuckled. “That’s true enough.”
“Back to Lucinda,” Anna said. “When she still thought I was you, I promised—”
“Speaking of that, what gave you away?”
“Oh, she’s smart. She figured it out.”
“How?” Madison set down her coffee and waited.
Anna started to giggle. “My hairy legs.”
Madison laughed. “Oh yeah, I never even thought about that.”
“Anyway, when Lucinda thought I was you, she asked me to be in her mother’s fashion show—and I said yes.”
“After she figured out you weren’t me, she knew that I hadn’t agreed, right?”
“She had already told her mother. It was when she was fitting me for your dress that she found out the truth.”
Madison frowned. “Didn’t you explain that you couldn’t promise me for the fashion show?”
“I told her she would have to work that out with you.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Anna pointed her finger at Madison. “You know how you keep telling me to be nice to Aunt Rachel, saying how she is a good person?”
“Yes.”
“It’s the same with Lucinda. She is a very good person. You should be nice to her too.”
Madison seemed to be considering this.
“She helped me a lot. She seems a lot nicer than that mean Vivian.”
“Maybe so.”
Anna told Madison about Nadya and how she had gotten a little suspicious. “Especially the time she caught me jumping on your bed.”
“You jumped on my bed?” Madison grinned.
“Yes. It was so big and so bouncy.” Anna shook her head. “I have a question for you. Why do English have so much comfortable things—beds, chairs, pillows, blankets, rugs . . . so luxurious—and then they wear uncomfortable shoes and clothes?�
��
Madison laughed. “I don’t know. That’s a good question.”
Anna nodded vigorously. “I thought about it a lot.”
“I thought about the opposite question,” Madison said. “Why do the Amish dress comfortably, but all their beds and furnishings are uncomfortable?”
“It’s not like that everywhere. Uncle Daniel is very, very conservative,” Anna explained. “He does things the old ways.”
“No wonder Rachel is so worn out.” Madison sighed. “Will she keep having children until she’s too old? She told me they don’t believe in birth control.”
“My mamm is worried about this too. She told Aunt Rachel there are some kinds of birth control acceptable to their Ordnung.”
“So not everything is what it seemed,” Madison said.
“Both in my world and in yours.” Anna ate the last piece of cinnamon roll.
Madison looked at her watch. “I have a few more things to tell you before it’s too late.” She explained about the Lapp family, the sisters Rebekah and Lydia, and how they were all interested in helping and befriending Rachel. “I hope you’ll encourage them. Rachel needs some good friends to watch her back.”
“Watch her back?”
“You know. To be there for her.” Madison told Anna about how she’d spoken to Berta.
“Not really?” Anna giggled.
Madison nodded. “I did. Everyone was happy when she and her friend left.”
“Now Berta will be after me,” Anna exclaimed. “Who will watch my back?”
Madison held up a finger. “That reminds me. I have something really important to tell you.”
Anna leaned forward with interest.
“His name is Malachi, and he’s a great guy.” Speaking quickly since their time was limited, Madison explained how she’d stumbled onto this young man, Uncle Daniel’s nephew, and how she had unwittingly flirted with him. Though they had spent very little time together, this young man had gotten it into his head that he was in love with her.
“How is that possible?” Anna demanded. “You are at my aunt’s house for a few days and you make a man fall in love with you? It is not fair.” She was thinking of Jacob, how it took years for him to fall in love . . . and then he had fallen out.
Madison chuckled. “Here’s the deal, Anna. He fell in love with who he thought I was.” She pointed to Anna. “He thought I was you.”
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