After Forever Ends

by Melodie Ramone

  “Oh, good for them!”

  “I say!” He gave me a thoughtful glance, “The winds are changing in the wood, Love. Let’s hope this is what’s supposed to happen.”

  “That Melissa hurt him badly,” I pulled my knees to my chest, “Rotten stinking old tuna fish sandwich, she is, even if she was sick in the head. Lucy wouldn’t do that to him. She’s waited to too long to be able to love him fully. It’s been against the rules until now.”

  Oliver nodded, “That she has. He didn’t think of her as more than a child, but when Caro was born he said to me, he said, ‘Oliver, I should have married that Cotton girl’. I swear he did.”

  “You never told me that.”

  “Well, Love, I was a little distracted with you and the baby.”

  “Hmm. Well, don’t let it happen again.”

  “I promise. The next time we have a baby I will pay more attention to what is happening with the other people around us.”

  “Right!” I put my head on his shoulder, “Well, we can’t make them fall in love. It has to happen on its own.”

  He looked very serious for a moment, “My brother and your sister. Is that twincest?”

  “Can’t be. They’re not biologically or legally related. And neither you nor I are involved with either of them, so, no.”

  “Thank God! …well, would you look at that?”

  “What?”

  “On the television, Love. It’s Alexander’s green tie. He’s been looking for it all over.”

  “I hate that tie. It’s awful. I’ve thought about hiding it on him myself.”

  “Yeah, but your sister’s favourite colour is green, is it not?”

  I thought for a second. “Yes, it is.”

  “There’s magic here in the wood,” Oliver nodded, saying this as if it were something new, “I swear there is.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  The happy news about having our dear Lucy in the wood was that she decided that Glasgow was crap and she abandoned it to reignite a life in Wales. She got a job working at a realtor's office in Newtown and bought herself a truck so she could navigate the wood, even though Alexander took her to work most mornings. Alexander, in fact, took her most places most of the time. The two had embarked on a new direction in their relationship that included hand holding, snogging, snuggling, dates, family outings, sniggering and meaningful whispers. It was everything eleven year old Lucy would have wished for. However, six months after she arrived, the adult Lucy was still sleeping on the sofa and getting frustrated with it as well.

  “It’s not about the sex,” She told me one evening in private, “It’s about the fact that he only lets me get so close. He throws up boundaries and road blocks as we go along. He’s hot and he’s cold. I never know which it’s going to be. I’m so bleeding confused my head hurts!”

  I told Oliver what she‘d said one morning when it was just he and I straightening up the front room, “What’s with that? Why isn’t she upstairs with your brother by now?”

  “Because,” Oliver puffed a pillow and set it on a chair, “My brother is in love with her.”

  “So tell me again why she’s not in his room?”

  Oliver sighed. “Oh, Silly Silvia. Think about it. My brother’s in love with her. Don’t you know what that means?”

  “It means he should be putting her in his bed by now. He‘s put enough women into his bed he didn‘t love, why not try something new and make it meaningful?”

  Oliver laughed, “No, Love. It means that he’s scared shitless.”

  “Of Lucy?”

  “Yes, of Lucy! And of having his heart broken again,” He looked at me and immediately understood that I didn't, “Think about it. He’s got her here with him all the time. They adore each other, yeah?. Always have. She loves his children and they love her. It’s perfect, isn’t it? It’s a fantasy, yeah? Too right to be true and it came too easily. He didn‘t even have to win her over, it was built in that they were both emotionally involved. So what happens if he actually makes it real? What happen if he takes her upstairs? What if in the end he winds up hurting her? Or, worse yet for him, what happens to him if she decides she doesn’t love him the way she’s always thought she does and runs away like Melissa did?”

  “That’s barking! She wouldn’t!”

  “I agree. I don’t think she would, either, but it’s where his head is right now. He’s scared. It’s her who’s going to have to make the first move if anything’s going to go forward and I think she’s going to have to push hard, too. He likes things where they are. It‘s safe for him.”

  “My God, Oliver, I never thought I’d see the day when Alexander was afraid of a girl!”

  “Aye, neither did I, especially not Lucy Cotton, but he is.”

  “Well, can’t we do something about it?”

  “We could strip them naked and glue them to each other.” He suggested as he folded a blanket and laid it across the back of the sofa, “Or we can just stand back and wait until he pulls his head out of his arse.”

  “Well, that’ll be a sonic boom.”

  I watched the two of them, Lucy and Alexander, from a distance. To be honest, I didn’t think they’d ever get it straight. There were times when they were so blissful together I thought they’d elope as Oliver and I had. Alex was spontaneous and romantic with her and she doted on him and the children. They would seem to be so happily devoted to each other and then out of the blue, Lucy would come to me in tears, confused and hurt and feeling rejected because Alexander had pulled away.

  “I cocked everything up,” My sister told me at the table when it was just the two of us folding towels, “I told him I love him.”

  “Did you now?” I asked with interest, “And how is that a cock up?”

  “You should have seen the look on his face. It was like I stuck a dirty sock under his nose,” She buried her face in her arms.

  “What did he say?”

  “He said the worst thing possible.”

  I shut my eyes and cringed, unable to fathom the worst thing Alexander could come up with to say. I hesitated to ask, “What was that?”

  “Nothing! He said absolutely nothing!” She laughed, but not like she thought that it was funny in the slightest, “And I immediately changed the subject to what we should do for Natalie’s birthday!”

  “I’m sorry he’s such an arse,” I told my sister sincerely.

  “I love him just the same,” She lifted her head, “So I think that makes me the arse.”

  One night in late September, nearly four months later, Oliver and I were startled awake by the sound of voices. Not the playful voices of the elves or the tender voices of lovers whispering in the night, but the thunderous voices of two people who were very much in the midst of a nasty row in the garden.

  Oliver and I hurried to the window in the kitchen.

  “Don’t you walk away from me!” My sister screamed, chasing Alexander through the grass. “Alexander, I mean it! Don’t you walk away from me! Let’s finish this!”

  “What the fuck do you want from me, Lucy?” He turned halfway across the garden and faced her. He shook his hands in a manner as if to say he was ready to throttle her.

  “I want you! Are you that bloody stupid?” The gestures didn't seem to faze her, “I want to know where we stand!”

  “And I need to get away from you so I can think!”

  “About what? About how much time you’ve wasted?” She stood her ground. “About how long you think I’m going to wait for you to realise that you love me, too? How long do you think I’m going to let you string me along? I won’t wait forever for you to make up your mind!”

  “Nobody’s asking you to wait!”

  “Do you want me to go then? Say it! Tell me if you want me to go! I’ll go! I’ll be gone tonight! I’m ready to go right now! Just say it!”

  “Oh, grow up!” He turned his back and made his way to the edge of the hill.

  “I won’t be here when you come back!”
<
br />   Alexander didn’t turn around. He waved an arm at her as if to say he either didn’t believe her or he didn’t care and he kept going. I watched my brother in law disappear behind our hill. I heard the engine start in his truck and watched the car lamps whip around and disappear through the trees. And then I saw my sister cover her face with her hands and sink to her knees.

  “Ah, that cockhead’s gone and done it now, hasn’t he?” Oliver was distinctly aggravated. He made it across the room in two steps and pushed open the door. He was across the lawn just as fast, “Lucy,” I heard him say softly as he knelt beside her, “It’s all right. He’ll come back…”

  I came to her other side and put my hand against her back, “I’m so sorry, LuLu.”

  “He’s such an arsehole!” She wailed.

  “Aye,” Oliver comforted her, “He is.”

  “He’s so incredibly obstinate! He’s the most insufferable bastard ever!”

  “Aye. He is.”

  “I love him so much! And I know he loves me! I know he does!”

  “He does. I swear it,” Oliver pulled her under his chin and squeezed her affectionately.

  “Then why does he do this? Why does he make me feel like I’m the most precious thing on Earth one minute and the next leave me standing here alone? He does this to me all the time! I don’t know how much more I can take!” She wiped the tears from her cheeks, “I swear I’ll walk away from him! I swear I will! Am I just a friend? Am I his girlfriend? Are we lovers? I don’t know! He won’t tell me! He’s such a dick! I don’t need this shit! I want to leave right now!”

  “Don’t be so fast to do that,” I told her gently, “Just give him a little more time. I think he’s worth waiting for.”

  “Lucy,” Oliver took her hand, “Come with me to the pub. You and I need to talk.”

  “You’re in your pyjamas!”

  “I’ve seen people walk in there in worse than this,” He insisted, rising to his feet, “A hard cider and a breath of different air will do you good. My brother’s an emotional midget. He can’t explain himself, so I’ve got to do it for him before he throws away the best thing in his life.”

  Fifteen minutes after they left, Alexander came storming into the house. He looked at the empty couch and then turned to me. “Where’s Lucy?” He demanded angrily.

  I sat in my chair and glared at him. I wanted more than anything to leap up and jump on to him and start tearing out his hair in clumps. I contemplated walking over and kicking him square in the bullocks, but I didn’t. Instead I decided to be even wicked.

  “She’s left.” I said coldly.

  “What?”

  “She’s left. She went ballistic after you drove off. She’s had it with you. Packed a bag and insisted Oliver take her to a hotel. That’s where she is now. Checking into a hotel. She’s taking a train out in the morning.”

  “To where?” He seemed alarmed, “Where is she going?”

  “Like I’d tell you!”

  “Silvia!” If I hadn’t known him better I might have been threatened by his tone, “Tell me! What hotel did he take her to?”

  “How do I know, Alexander? Did I go with them? No! I stayed to look after the children!” I was not going to budge, “She was so upset! She was screaming and sobbing and saying she’d had enough of your rubbish! She said you were a mean bastard and that she was going! We tried to get her to stay and she said no, she’d just walk then, and Oliver told her that if she really didn’t want to stay here anymore, he’d drive her!”

  “To Newtown or Welshpool?”

  “How do I know?” I was quite enjoying torturing him after what he’d just done to my sister, “They’re both equally as far, aren’t they? For all I know he took her to London!”

  “Oh fuck!” He slammed a palm against the top of his head, “What have I done? Fuck!”

  “Well, it’s too late now!” I replied sadistically.

  Alexander’s eyes were wider than I’d ever seen them, “No! No, it’s not, Sylvia! Shut your noise! I’ve got to find her!” He pulled his keys out of his pocket, “I’m going to find her!”

  “You better!” I warned, “You better go and find her, Alexander, because she’s leaving for real this time! You’d better go and find her and tell her everything that’s in your heart because she’s had it with you!” I leaned forward in my chair, “You’d better go and find her right now, Alexander, because you’ll never find another Lucy Cotton in your life! No matter how far you travel and how hard you look, you’ll never find a woman who loves you and your children like my sister does! There’s only one Lucy Cotton and you bloody well know it, too!”

  Alexander stood there for just a moment in the centre of the room and looked at me. There was real fear in his eyes.

  “Go, Alex, and you better hope it’s not too late.”

  Without another word Alexander spun and bolted out the door, not even bothering to close it.

  “Nitwit,” I muttered and then I began to laugh. I laughed until my sides ached, wishing desperately that Oliver had been there to see what I’d just done. He’d have been so proud of me.

  Lucy and Oliver came home about three hours later. “She’s all better,” He told me, “Just tired and wanting her pillow.”

  “Are you OK then, Lu?”

  Lucy gave me a weak smile, “I’m OK,” She said softly, “Oliver and I talked a long time tonight. I think I understand what’s happening with Alex. I’m just exhausted now.”

  “Well, lie down then.”

  “Where is Xander?”

  I began to laugh again and told them the whole story.

  “Oh, shite!” Oliver wiped his eyes, “I think I’m going to pee myself! I’m telling you, right now Alexander is checking every place she could possibly be staying between Newtown and Welshpool! He may even have gone to London! That’s hilarious!”

  “I hope he runs out of petrol and has to walk home,” Lucy held her side, lying back on the couch.

  “Ah, go to sleep,” I told her, “I got your revenge for you!”

  “I love you, Sissy. Thank you.”

  “It was my pleasure,” I grinned as I exited the room, “Night now.”

  “You are so bloody clever!” Oliver put his arm around me, still laughing, and led me to the bedroom, “I’m so proud I’m married to you!”

  The sun was up when I heard the front door close and keys land on the kitchen table. There were three footsteps and then silence.

  Alexander had come home.

  I listened, curious to hear if Lucy had woken up as well, but the house was still. I couldn’t take the suspense. I crept out of bed and padded my way as quietly as I could to the doorway. I tiptoed into the hall and peered around the wall.

  Alexander was clinging to my sister, holding her close like a rag doll. I could barely hear what he said, “Oh, God, Lucy! I thought you’d left me! I thought you’d gone…”

  “I thought about it,” She whispered, “But I couldn’t.”

  “Don’t ever leave me. Please. I’m sorry. I love you. God, I love you…” He kissed her head and her face, little kisses, lots of them, all over.

  “I love you, too, Alex. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t.”

  “Lucy, I’ve been such a scrut.”

  “Yes, you have.” She put her hand against his cheek. “I forgive you. You know I do.”

  “I’m a cocky bastard,” He continued, “And I’ve got a hard head. I don’t listen. A long time ago I could have walked away and let you go, but I can‘t…I need you, Lucy. I act like I don’t care, but I do…”

  “I know you do.”

  “She messed me up so bad…I can’t even explain how she messed up my head. She made it so I don’t know who I am anymore. I used to know and now I second guess myself…I’m trying…I really am. I’m trying to be what you need me to be…I need a second, yeah? I’m trying so hard…"

  “I know. I didn’t mean to pressure you…I just wish you’d talk to me…“

  “Don
’t give up on me. Please. I want us to be the thing in my life I didn’t ruin. I want you to be the one thing in my life that I did right.”

  “Alex, it’s all right, Sweetie! We’re all right!”

  “Let me do the right thing, Lucy. Please, for once in my life, let me do the right thing. Give me a second. I didn’t expect this, but I’m trying…please, let me do the right thing…”

  “Alexander!” She hissed, taking his face between both of her hands, “Stop!”

  “No!” He shook his head, “I don’t want to stop. I want to explain. I want to tell you everything. I want you to know everything…”

  “Xander!” She was smiling, laughing softly. She pressed her lips against his, “It’s all right. I know you’re screwed up! I know you’re a prick! I love you anyway! Don’t you know it?”

  “Will you marry me then, Bach?” He took her hand, "I don’t have a ring for you. I’ve been too much of a coward to get one…"

  Lucy gasped and threw her arms around him.

  He was still muttering when I slipped around the corner and back into my bed. I’d seen enough of my sister’s perfect moment. There wasn’t a thing about any of it that had been any of my business, but that moment on belonged only to my sister and Alexander. Oliver was still fast asleep, sprawled out on the mattress, snoring lightly, his face pressed against the pillow. I lie beside him and put my leg over his middle and my arm around his chest.

  He reached back and patted my calf, “Just Silvia…and I love her…” He mumbled.

  I just lie there and stroked his hair, “And I love you,” I whispered.

  The sad news of our dear Lucy coming to stay with us in the wood was that eventually she left. And when she did, she took Alexander, Nigel and Nattie with her. It wasn’t completely tragic as they only went as far as to buy a lovely house outside of Welshpool, but for me it was heartbreak. I had, after all, raised Nigel and Natalie as if they were my own and now I had to hand them over to a new mummy. Even if that new mummy was my own sister, the whole thing sucked completely.