Choices

by Federici, Teresa

  She still didn’t know much about him, where he came from, who his parents were, or even how old he was for that matter, but she figured she would spend the next couple of days finding out.

  Now here they were, bouncing along a rutted track to a far pasture, with no one around them.

  “I brought lunch, just some sandwiches, and some water. We’ll probably be out here until 3 or so, then I have to head back and get some office work done.” Logan said, glancing over at her again. She looked incredibly gorgeous this morning. She had her hair up in a ponytail again, with a Boston Red Sox cap on, which should have made her look like a little girl, but instead made her look sexy and athletic.

  She nodded and continued to look out the windshield. “Sounds good.”

  They lapsed into a companionable silence, each in their own thoughts. After a few more minutes passed, Abby asked, “Logan, how old are you?”

  He kept his eyes on the track and replied, “Thirty-six. You?”

  “Thirty-one. How long have you had the ranch?” she looked over at him.

  He cocked his head to the side, thought about it for a second. “Ten years or so. Bought it right before all the real estate prices got jacked up. Still it wasn’t cheap.”

  “Oh, so it wasn’t a family ranch?” she asked, surprised. Even 10 years ago, the land would have been worth a lot of money.

  “No, my parents had a potato farm in Idaho. I didn’t really want to be a potato farmer.”

  Abby couldn’t picture him as a potato farmer, and she wouldn’t have met him if he had.

  “Where are they now?”

  He paused, then said softly, “They’re dead.”

  Abby blanched and reached across and put her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s been a long time. They were in a car wreck. Drunk driver in an eighteen wheeler jumped the median on the interstate and hit them head-on.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Nineteen. Had just started my second year of college. After that I dropped out and started working cattle ranches. I guess that was the cowboy in me. What boy didn’t grow up wanting to be a cowboy? Sold the farm and spent the next couple of years working hard and saving money. I had always seen this place, and it pulled at me, you know?” he asked, looking over at her. He didn’t want her to feel sorry about his parents; they had been gone a long time, and he had time with his grief. He didn’t feel like reliving it.

  “I can see how it would pull at you. It’s absolutely stunning.”

  “Well, when it came up for sale, it was almost out of my reach. I had made a lot of money from selling the family farm, and saved quite a bit more, but it almost wasn’t enough.”

  “So how did you get it?” Abby asked, turning in her seat to watch him talk.

  “That’s when I met Ben. I had gone to a roadhouse one night, and had gotten a little drunk. Well, there was this beautiful woman at the bar---“

  “And you hit on her?” Abby guessed, grinning.

  “Hey this is my story alright?” he laughed and Abby ran her thumb and forefinger across her lips in a zipping gesture.

  “Anyway, this woman is at the bar, and these guys are hitting on her, and she was not into it, and she kept telling them to leave her alone. So here I am, drunk and feeling like a bad-ass, and I get it into my head that I’m going to be a hero, and run the guys off. “

  “I can see where this is going.”

  “Zip it” he growled mockingly.

  Abby held up her hands.

  “Despite the fact that I’m a pretty big guy, and was in prime physical condition, these guys were bigger. One was built like a tank. I get in their faces, telling them that the lady wasn’t enjoying their attention when one hauled off and punched me.” He glanced quickly at her to gauge her reaction, and she just smiled at him.

  “I should’ve hit the floor, but again, I was drunk and full of myself, so I threw a punch back, and then both guys were on me, beating the crap out of me. I finally went down, and was debating whether or not my head was still attached to my body, when one of the guys lands on the floor next to me. I knew I hadn’t hit him, so I looked up and there was Ben. He had just knocked the other guy out, and bent down to pull me up. He just looked at me and said, ‘It wasn’t a fair fight.’ We’ve been friends ever since.”

  “What happened to the beautiful woman?” Abby asked.

  “Ben married her.”

  “That was Kassey you fought for? Oh God, that’s rich.” She laughed.

  “Anyway, Ben was looking for someone to partner in a ranch with him, so I told him about this place, and the rest is history.”

  Abby frowned. “But he told me he was your manager, not partner.”

  “He is the manager. He knows how to run the place, but he has no head for the business or money part of it.” He replied, then brought the truck to a stop. “We’re here.”

  Abby got out of the truck and stretched. He had revealed a lot to her with that story. Even drunk he was a gentleman. He would keep his distance from her, even though he wanted her.

  Logan walked to the back of the truck and grabbed a roll of barb wire and some work gloves and threw a pair to Abby. “Are you ready to work?” he asked, walking back to where she stood, hands on her hips, swiveling her head to take in the scenery.

  “You are so unbelievably lucky Logan, do you now that?” she asked, her back still to him. He stared at that back, enfolded in a tan work jacket like his own, the tail of her mahogany hair trailing down. He wished he was luckier, but he agreed with her, saying “Yeah, I know it. It was a lot of hard work, but worth it. The previous owners had let a lot of the property go to seed. They were older, and none of their kids wanted the ranch life.”

  She turned back to him and clapped her hands together.

  “Let’s get started.”

  He had her hold tools for him. She watched him tug wire into place and set it on the wood posts, hammer nails into it, and she just stood there. Not that she didn’t love to watch him work, but she was completely bored standing there like an ineffectual log.

  “You know, I can help some.” She said, handing him the hammer when he stuck his hand out for it. He turned around and looked at her. She was tapping one foot, looking severely disgruntled.

  “Sorry, not used to having help out here.” He stood up and walked back to the truck to grab something. He came back holding the most ancient barb wire fence stretcher she had ever seen. He handed it to her, and she took it hesitantly.

  “What do you expect me to do with that?” she asked, staring at it with grim fascination.

  “That’s a fence stretcher. You use it to hook on to the barb wire and stretch it tight between posts so the fencing doesn’t sag.”

  She looked at him, nonplussed.

  “I know that Logan, but this thing is ancient!”

  “It still works though.” He said, a little chagrined.

  She giggled. “If you say so, Logan.”

  “Just use it if you know how. I’ll be working on my fence.” he huffed, and turned away, but not before she saw him grin.

  She moved down couple of posts and went to work, happy that she had something more to do than just stand around. She got caught up in it, the old rhythm coming back to her, but she worked slower than Logan so that by the time they broke for lunch, he had moved farther down the line of fencing than she did. He walked back up the fence line and tapped her on the shoulder.

  “Lunch?” he questioned and she nodded. He reached down a hand and Abby took it, letting him pull her up. She stood next to him and looked down the line to where he had been. The top row of wire was nice and tight, and he hadn’t even used a fence stretcher. Her second row was a little loose, but she would go back and tighten them when they came back.

  They walked towards the truck, Logan shortening his stride so she wouldn’t have to jog to keep up with him. He was enjoying the day, and having her with him. He usually like the solitude of working alone, and used the excu
se to run fences just to get away from everyone sometimes, but he liked her being here, even though they didn’t even talk when they were working.

  Reaching the truck, Logan grabbed the little cooler out of the back that held their sandwiches, and pulled the tailgate down. She boosted herself up and sat down and he leaned his hips against it, placing the cooler between them. He opened it and delved in, taking out a sandwich for her along with a bottle of water, then reached in and grabbed his. They ate in silence for a bit, and then after taking a swig from his water bottle, he broke the silence. “I know you said that you went to school in Boston to become a lawyer, but why would you want to be one?” he asked, moving to sit on the tailgate with her. She finished chewing the bite of sandwich she had just taken.

  “Not just a lawyer, but an environmental lawyer.”

  He rolled his eyes. “A lawyer’s a lawyer.”

  She punched him in the shoulder. “I resent that.”, but she smiled when she said it.

  “Well, I’ve also got a Master’s in Wildlife Biology. I guess I wanted to help the environment in a different way than just studying it and doing research. I figured I would go to work for the EPA and help control environmental pollution that way. No money, but hey, I didn’t want to go to work in the private sector and end up defending someone who had ruined a protected wetland or poisoned someone’s water supply.”

  “So, you wanted to be Erin Brockovich?” he teased.

  “No, well kind of, but this was before the movie came out. But yes, that’s what I wanted to do.”

  “What happened? And don’t stop at ‘I got married’. Lots of women get married and have a career. There was a whole movement about it in the 60’s and 70’s, you know.”

  She thought about what to tell him, and figured he would realize if she lied to him.

  “Steve didn’t want me to work. By the time I graduated law school, he was already an attending at a private hospital in Boston and working hard to get higher. He wanted me to be a house wife, who would have dinner ready for him when he got home, and clean house, wash clothes.”

  “That was very cozy.” He remarked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

  Abby went on the defensive. “I was a small-town girl, I had just spent 18 years watching my mother be a house wife and she was happy as a clam in mud. Yeah, I wanted to fight polluting bad guys, but at the time I loved the man, and did what he thought was right.”

  “Whoa, easy there. I didn’t mean to offend you, I just thought what an asshole the guy was, is. Anyway, continue.” Logan said, taking a bite out of his sandwich then gestured with it for her to move forward, watching the fire come into her green eyes as her hackles went up.

  “Sorry. Anyway, that’s pretty much it. He wanted a housewife and got one. He was never home, even then. He worked horrible hours, and when we did see each other, it wasn’t like a marriage should be. It was cold, and polite, and we never laughed or joked. My parents would chase each other around the kitchen, laughing like lunatics, then my father would grab my mother and plant a big kiss on her, and it was great, you know? I didn’t think so at the time, I thought it was gross, but I guess that’s what I always thought a marriage should be.”

  Logan wanted to give that to her, so bad it hurt his heart to think he probably never could. His own parents had been loving too, and Logan wanted nothing less than that for himself.

  “That is what marriage should be; that and supporting and a partnership Abby, and you shouldn’t settle for less than that.” Logan said earnestly, wanting to shake some sense into her.

  Tears threatened behind her eyes, and she blinked fast to chase them away.

  God, he was speaking to her heart and he didn’t even know it.

  “I know, I know. I don’t want to talk about that right now, okay?” she pleaded. She knew she was being silly, should just tell him that she had decided to stay in Montana, but she wanted it to be perfect when she told him, and the dance would be the perfect time.

  “Okay, we won’t talk about it. Back to neutral territory. Wildlife Biology and Environmental Law. You’re not a tree-hugger, are you?”

  “I’ll have you know that some of my best friends are tree-huggers, and I did attend a Greenpeace rally a time or two.”

  Logan groaned and hung his head in abject disappointment. “And you grew up around cattle being sold off for beef?”

  “I didn’t say I was a vegetarian. Look, I know where the neat little packages in the grocery store come from, and I was never a fan of the Atkins Diet, but I’m realistic. We’re a basic people, we human beings, and before we had cellophane and refrigeration, we raised our own food and had to kill it with our own bare hands. Some people want to believe that we should evolve and be nice to our little animal friends, but I eat cow, and I’m not afraid to say it.”

  Logan spit out the water he had just been about to swallow and laughed so hard his sides hurt. Abby laughed with him and thought how Joyce would react to her speech. Joyce was a veteran vegetarian and card-carrying member of PETA, and would surely have shot Abby with the rifle in the back of Logan’s truck.

  “‘Little animal friends’? Where’d that come from?” Logan gasped, wiping tears from his eyes.

  “It’s something a friend of mine says when she talks about the evil injustices of eating meat. She’s a member of PETA.”

  “She know about how you were raised?”

  “Oh yeah, she calls it my ‘dark years’, before I moved East and became ‘civilized’.”

  “But you eat meat. Doesn’t she disagree with that?” Logan asked, absolutely fascinated.

  “Yes, she does. If I had given up meat and had become a vegetarian, I would have been ‘enlightened’ instead of just ‘civilized’. I haven’t eaten a whole lot of red meat in the last couple of years, just a lot of fish and poultry.”

  “God, your killing me! And your father too, you know. Didn’t you ever hear ‘Beef, it’s what’s for dinner’?”

  “Yes, but it’s also clogging up arteries. Oh, hell, we can debate this till the cows come home, ha-ha, but let’s suffice it to say that I eat beef, enjoy beef, and will probably eat more of it now.” She laughed, hopping down from the tailgate and rubbing her butt. Logan stopped laughing as he watched her, wishing he was rubbing her soreness away, then tore his eyes away before he got too turned on to stand up.

  “My butt fell asleep. What time is it?” she asked, looking up at him. He glanced at his watch.

  “It’s 2 o’clock. You want to stop and go back in?” he didn’t want to stop talking, wanted to stay out here forever with her.

  “No, let’s work some more. I’m getting exercise and God knows I haven’t worked out since I came here, since, you know, this isn’t the Ritz.” She smirked.

  “Ha-ha, very funny. Get back to work.”

  She snapped him a salute and followed him as he headed back down the fence line.

  She came back to the house for dinner again that night, and it was so much fun she didn’t want the evening to end. She had been to plenty of dinners and cocktail parties, but they had been formal affairs, and even dinners she gave at her house among close friends had never been this kind of fun, where anything went. She had gotten Ben to tell the whole story of the bar fight that had brought him and Logan together.

  “Well, you see Abby, I was just sitting down to a nice cold beer after work, and here comes this drunk kid, wanting to be a big hero. I knew he was gonna be creamed as soon as he walked up to them, but I hung back. I wanted to let him try to rescue the helpless maiden before I came to his rescue.”

  Kassey snorted. “Helpless, my fanny. I was just about to kick one of them were it hurts when Sir Galahad showed up.” Kassey said, smiling sweetly at Logan, who grinned back at her.

  “Ok, ass-kicking maiden. Anyway, I was trying to not get involved when the two of them just laid into him, and Logan didn’t have a chance. Not stepping all over your manhood there, buddy, but it wasn’t a fair fight.”

  Logan ju
st nodded, and took a swig of his beer.

  Abby was leaning on the table, caught up in the story, but she watched Logan out of the corner of her eye. He seemed to be enjoying the retelling.

  “So Logan goes down, and stays down, so I had to help then. I can’t stand to watch an unfair fight, and those guys counted for two people apiece. So I laid one out, and he landed almost right on top of Logan, who was still passed out on the floor.”

  “I was not passed out on the floor. I was awake when he landed next to me.” Logan interjected, laughing.

  “Yeah, ok. Sure you were.” Kassey threw in and Abby laughed. Logan gave her a hurt look. “Who are you going to believe, me or him?”

  Abby thought for a moment. “Ben.” She said simply, and that got everyone laughing, including Logan.

  Later, she and Kassey had washed the dishes together at the sink, Kassey washing and Abby drying.

  “Did you tell him yet?” Kassey asked, lowering her voice.

  “No, and I’m still going to wait for the dance.” Abby replied, putting the plate she had just dried into a cupboard.

  “Lord, are we still in high school? Abby, you need to tell him now.”

  “Why the rush?”

  “I just want to see you both be happy. Look, I’ve never had a close woman friend and despite how we started, I really think you’re a great person, and I think you’re perfect for him.” Kassey replied, turning to face Abby.

  “Thanks Kassey, that means a lot. I just wanted to get to know him more, and let him get to know me, so that when I do tell him, he makes a decision based on how he feels, not what he feels.”

  “Abby, trust me, I know him. It’s not just about sex with Logan. He could have that whenever he wanted it, he’s a good-looking man. Did you ever stop to think why he isn’t married yet?”

  “Well, yeah, the thought did cross my mind.” She replied, putting up the last dish and moving to sit at the kitchen island. Kassey brought her over a cup of coffee and sat down with her. “Logan is very serious about his relationships. In the years I’ve known him, he’s only had two long term relationships, and both women left because he wouldn’t commit to marriage. He would always just say he was waiting for the right one, and he would know her when he saw her. None of those relationships meant much to him, and he didn’t care much when they left. Now, I know that makes him sound callous, but he never made promises to those women he couldn’t keep and not one of them even got to the point of moving in.”