Losing Myself in You

by Heather C. Myers

Marcus growled in surprise, jumping as he did so. When he heard the sound of Bridgette's laughter, he felt himself pause, and his lips twitch up in a smile. He hadn't let go of her just yet, and she wasn't exactly pushing him away. In fact, unless his senses were deceiving him, she was trying to get even closer to him, hoping to steal his heat while at the same time being near him as much as possible. Marcus tightened his grip on her, and he felt her sigh in content as she placed the side of her face against his chest. He leaned his cheek against the top of her head before inhaling sharply in order to fill his senses with her scent. She was growing on him, he realized, and suddenly he didn't mind it all that much.

  "Is this what we're going to be doing for the next week?" Bridgette asked, refraining from moving her head to look at him. She seemed to be too comfortable in her current position to do so anyways.

  "I should probably tell you my brother will be here within the next week," Marcus said, feeling an unwanted frown touch his lips. "Since you are here of your own free will, it is probably necessary that you meet him because when you get married, you're not getting married to just that person, but to his entire family." Marcus's frown only deepened when he said that but he refused to acknowledge why.

  "My mom always told me that," Bridgette said, tracing mindless patterns against his chest, her fingertip against the cotton material. She paused for a minute before tilting her head up so their faces were mere centimeters apart, their clouded breaths intermingling. "Do you think he'll like me?"

  "I think he'll like you too much," he told her. Bridgette raised her brow, inquiring him to explain further, and for a moment, Marcus wasn't sure he wanted to. But at the same time, he wanted to be honest with her. "As it always is with brothers, we have a rivalry of sorts. He hasn't been here in a while because he could never get over the fact that I inherited this pack, but in wolf tradition, the eldest does just that. He keeps in touch every once in a while, if not with me, than with Ryan and Brandon. And once he sees that I might take you on as my Mate, he might compete with me in some way."

  He watched Bridgette smile. "What do you mean might take me as your Mate?" she asked, her voice teasing but her eyes serious.

  "I can’t just throw you over my shoulder and take you against your freewill," Marcus said, returning her smile with a wolfish one of his own. "You’ll have to make up your mind eventually."

  * * *

  Chapter 26

  * * *

  According to werewolf tradition, when a werewolf returns to their pack after being away for a while, a huge feast is prepared in his or her honor. Afterwards, the pack continues the celebration by having a run through the forest as wolves, enjoying the feeling of freedom. A room is prepared for the honored guest any traveling companion, and for the first couple of nights, the returner recounts stories of their adventures. If the reason why they left in the first place was unknown, there is a good chance an explanation would be offered, but if it is on pack record, no explanation is necessary.

  Gerard Sterling was nearly as tall as his older brother, but instead of having rich, chestnut brown hair, his was short and auburn. His eyes were a crystal blue, and his face was more of an oval shape. He was slightly leaner than Marcus, but Marcus was stronger and faster. In fact, Gerard would always go on about how Marcus was better than him at everything, which didn't quite sit well with the young wolf. After attempting to win the title of Alpha from his brother and failing, he left. That was nearly twenty years ago, and now that he was back, Marcus was unsure as to why.

  The first thing Marcus did when Gerard arrived was pull him aside so he could talk to his younger brother in private. He led him to the library – a place no one save for Abigail went anymore – and the two walked in, Marcus not bothering to close the doors behind him. Gerard's nose twitched.

  "I smell," he began, cocking his head slightly to the side. "I smell a human." Marcus narrowed his eyes at his brother’s tone. Gerard seemed fascinated, perhaps disgusted, but not surprised. How did he know they were housing a human anyways?

  Gerard’s eyes tried to follow his nose, hoping to spot just who the scent was coming from when his eyes caught sight of an attractive-looking woman conversing with a young maid through the library doors. His lips immediately curled into a grin and he licked them. "Oh, Marcus, you never disappoint, do you?” he asked, and Marcus wanted to backhand the smug grin off of his brother’s face. “Not only do you get me a fine specimen of food, but I get to play with this one first."

  Marcus took hold of his brother's shirt with both of his hands, and a growl escaped from his throat. "Don't even think about touching her," he warned his younger brother through gritted teeth. "She might become your Queen."

  Gerard's face contorted into a scowl as Marcus let his brother go. "Are you serious, Marcus?" Gerard asked, completely appalled at what his brother just revealed. "Your Mate, the woman you chose, is human? Pathetic. How is this even sitting with the Elders?"

  "They like the idea," Marcus said, his jaw still tense and his hazel eyes still narrowed. "I mean it, Gerard. If you touch her, if you say anything inappropriate to her, I will kick you out of this pack myself."

  Gerard pulled out from Marcus’s grasp and wiped down wrinkles that littered the front of his shirt. “I have business matters to discuss anyways,” he said. “Send up one of your lieutenants, would you? I need their help to run some numbers for me.”

  Marcus held back a retort. How like Gerard to come barging in the mansion and order him and his pack around as though Gerard were Alpha. As long as it kept him away from Bridgette, however, Marcus would do almost anything.

  ---

  Something wasn’t sitting right with Bridgette, and it all had to do with Marcus’s brother. He rubbed her the wrong way. Like, why did he constantly need to talk to Ryan or Brandon? What were they doing in his room? Why hadn’t they been formally introduced yet? Why did he keep looking at her like she was a piece of meat he was going to chew up and spit out? Why did he return in the first place? Marcus definitely didn’t trust him; that was for sure. He all but forced her to bunk with him until Gerard left – which was just fine with Bridgette.

  There was a party coming up tonight as a means of celebration, and Bridgette was banking on Gerard to get totally bombed so she could sneak into his room and do some sleuthing.

  Surprisingly enough, it didn’t take long before Gerard was on his fifth glass of wine, and everyone was too distracted to notice her slip out for the restroom.

  Abigail followed – Bridgette had recruited her to be her lookout – and they both silently headed up the stairs and down the long, narrow hallway. Abigail handed Bridgette her master key all maids had so they could keep the rooms tidy, and in a manner of seconds, the agent was in Gerard’s room. Her feet immediately led her to his desk, which was neat and pristine. She had no idea what she was looking for, but she was certain she would know it if she found it.

  “Are you almost done?” Abigail whispered from the doorframe.

  Bridgette didn’t answer. She was now searching the closet, looking for a shoebox or some miniscule object boys kept their porn stash in to hide it. Gerard was smart; that much was for sure.

  When the closet was deemed useless, Bridgette got on her hands and knees and turned her attention to the bed.

  “Bridge?” Abigail whispered. “I think I hear footsteps.”

  Bridgette had her arms underneath the bed, her hands reaching around, looking for anything…

  “Bridge?”

  Nothing on the floor.

  “People are coming.”

  Then her fingers wrapped around a folder taped to the underside of the mattress. Success!

  “Let’s go, Abigail!” she returned. “People will wonder why we’re gone.”

  “It’s a false alarm,” Abigail told her. “No people.” She looked at the folder. “What’s that?”

  Bridgette shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “But I’m going to find out.”

  ---

 
The next day, Marcus and Bridgette were in the manor's library together, each of them reading silently. Bridgette had scoured through the paperwork that evening, after sending Abigail down to tell them she had had too much to drink and was currently throwing up, and found exactly what she was looking for. Now all she had to do was tell Marcus before Gerard found out she had taken his folder.

  The couple was lounged on one of the library's couches with Marcus on one side with Bridgette's head in his lap, lying down. Bridgette was trying to concoct a way to tell Marcus without offending him. This was his brother, after all, and not only that, some of his pack was involved too. It made her uncharacteristically quiet.

  It also didn’t help that they both hadn’t had sex in the past week. Due to the connection the two shared, the craving of physical intimacy was at an all-time high. There were a couple of instances when Bridgette and Marcus had been on the brink of such an act, but both had taken control of their raging desires at the very last minute. However, on the bright side, it seemed to have brought them closer together emotionally. They were constantly learning about each other, likes and dislikes, preferences and annoyances, and both had secretly come to the conclusion that they could probably live with each other. Of course, that didn't mean they didn't have their share of fights; they did, and such fighting was almost constant. In fact, many of the wolves who had witnessed it wondered how they could even stand to be in the same room, let alone consider marriage, but somehow, it seemed to work for them.

  There were also instances like this, where neither of them were fighting or even speaking. They were just relaxing, silently enjoying the other's presence.

  Except, if Bridgette was being honest, she was getting a little flustered. The book she had chosen to pretend to read while thinking of the right words to say was a romance novel written by a former member of the pack who left when she met her Mate. At first, she thought this would be quite amusing because she always used to find romance novels funny instead of romantic, and the fact that their sex scenes were – Well, she couldn't judge all romance novels on the few she had read, but she had never taken them seriously. But she felt herself getting pulled in by the language, the scenario the hero and heroine were in…

  This woman wrote with such descriptive language that Bridgette could feel almost everything the heroine was feeling at any given moment. She had never craved sex from any one person before, but with Marcus so close to her and the fact that they hadn't been together in what felt like forever…

  Marcus could smell her desire for him before she even said anything. It made concentrating on his book all the more difficult, especially when his eyes glazed over and darken. He could hear her breathe and almost decipher her inner turmoil. He sat there, hoping she would just give in because he wanted nothing more than to feel her around him once again.

  But Bridgette had never felt comfortable enough to be sexually confident. Rarely did she ever start sex, but now… She felt the familiar pulsating knock from inside her pelvis walls in time with her beating heart. Her body felt hot and humid; she needed satisfaction, she needed him right now, right there.

  She might have been patient, but Marcus wasn't. He snapped his book closed before leaning down and claiming Bridgette's lips with his own. Bridgette felt as though he was giving her life, and she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. The angle they were at was awkward, so Bridgette broke the kiss and stood up on shaky knees. At first, Marcus thought she had more self-control over herself than he could ever hope to achieve and let out a muffled growl due to the lack of stimulation. But then he saw her take a seat on the edge of a round desk before looking over at him and locking her eyes with his.

  "Here," she said in a breathless whisper, but he had heard her crystal clear. "Take me on the desk."

  Marcus didn't need to be told twice, and in mere seconds, he was standing above her, attacking her neck with his tongue while his hands unbuttoned her jeans before yanking them off of her. They both knew that anyone could walk in on them at any moment, so going completely nude was out of the question. They just needed a quick fix and they would be satisfied, if only momentarily.

  For the span of three breaths, Marcus simply stared down at Bridgette's face, his fingers running through red strands of hair. Bridgette blushed at his intense scrutiny.

  "What?" she asked him softly with a smile.

  "It's nothing," he said, his voice low. "You're just beautiful."

  Bridgette felt her face redden even more, and this caused Marcus to smile. He reveled in the fact that he had the ability to make her blush at the most unexpected times, but it didn't deter him from the task at hand. Within moments, Marcus had slipped inside of her, and both let out ragged sighs of content. This was what they had been waiting for so long, and now that it was happening, Bridgette couldn't quite believe it.

  Marcus leaned over her, both hands on either side of her head, and gradually began to increase his speed. Bridgette's legs were wrapped around him and her back was arched up so he could penetrate her as deeply as was possible, and with every thrust, she bucked her hips up in order to meet him.

  Both of them tried to keep quiet in order to alleviate any suspicion of what they were doing, but occasionally, a whimper or a moan would slip out. At that moment, Marcus realized he didn't want to do this with anyone else. Maybe he always knew that, but it was more than just the mark he left on Bridgette's neck telling him so. In his mind, in his heart, he knew that if she rejected his proposal, he would have no one. He didn't want anyone else, and he could only hope that she felt the same way.

  Bridgette bit her bottom lip when she felt tension start to build, and before she could stop herself, she released it, climaxing against Marcus with fervor that Marcus was pushed over the edge himself. He couldn't help but watch her, and if they had more time, he probably would have suggested they do it again. But alas, they didn't. At least both of them gained some sort of relief. Maybe it wouldn't take so long the next time.

  ---

  From the corner of a secret room, Gerard took a step back from the wall and slipped the painting back over the small eye-shaped hole that allowed him to see into the library. He had to hurry back in case someone noticed that he was gone.

  * * *

  Chapter 27

  * * *

  "So," Gerard said, walking into the dimly lit library, his eyes firmly focused on the lone woman currently sitting on the couch, reading a book by the light of an adjacent candle. His hands were resting loosely in his pockets and his gaze was lazy as it flickered over to the desk where he had seen the physical intimacy between this woman and his brother take place only a few hours before. She knew. He could smell her stench now; it clung to his bedroom like paint on walls. "You are in the running to be Marcus's Queen then."

  Bridgette looked up at him, feeling her stomach clench for a reason that was unknown to her. She couldn't explain why, but she felt uncomfortable around him without some sort of supervision. Hell, even if Julianne was here, she'd feel slightly more at ease. It had to be in the eyes, she reasoned. They were mysterious and cunning, as though he was planning to do something to her. For the longest time, she thought it was because he didn't approve of her, but that didn't seem to satisfy her intuition, which he probably didn’t. He was a Purist, after all. There was another reason, one she couldn't place.

  "Yes," she said warily. Immediately, her body tensed as she watched him make his way towards her, and a shiver slid down her spine when he sat down next to her, completely unaware at how close he was to her. Either that or he didn't care.

  She should have told Marcus when she had the chance. But she was so comfortable with his weight on top of her and she didn’t want to ruin the moment. Not when she felt… Well, she had her opportunity, and now she couldn’t get it back.

  "I can see why," he said, letting his eyes skim over her, and he didn't bother to hide his approval. "You know its werewolf tradition that brothers share… everything."

  Bridgette
met his eyes with her own, a glare flashing in her icy eyes. "That's a lie," she said through gritted teeth.

  "Really?" Gerard said, arching a brow as his eyes dropped to her lips. "Would you like to tell me how you know this? Are you one of us? No, not yet at least. You couldn't possibly know our ways, not in the few months of being around Marcus."

  "I know Marcus," Bridgette said, hoping her voice wasn't shaking. She couldn't deny just how scared she was though; it felt as though Gerard was trying to close all possibilities to escape. "And Marcus doesn't like to share what's his."

  "You're not his yet," Gerard said, a dark smile slipping onto his face. He placed his arms on either side of her, trapping her between them. If she tried to escape, she would fail. "How fitting. This will take place where you and Marcus did the exact deed only hours before." He paused. “I can smell you in my room, you know. You will give me my folder back.”

  “Marcus has it,” Bridgette growled.

  “Liar,” he said with a smirk.

  "What Marcus and I did here," Bridgette said, her voice cutting, too afraid of what was about to happen to feel shame, "was not what you're about to attempt to do. Marcus never forced me, but the only way you'll ever get to me is by force."

  This caused Gerard to growl, and his face contorted into a threatening scowl. Bridgette didn't want to feel afraid, but she couldn't help it. He was tall, strong, and she knew that despite her extensive training in combat, she wouldn't be able to beat him. Gerard lifted his hand and coiled his fingers around her slender neck.

  "You will be fun to break," he said. His teeth clenched, his eyes narrowed into hers. "And once you're broken, Marcus will no longer want you."

  "You can try," Bridgette said through gasps, trying to ignore the pain from his vice-like grip. She twisted her body and reached up before she kicked him directly in the stomach.