Cowboy Reality Romance: Jaxon

by Erica Penrod

  As Race tossed his luggage in the back of the rental car, he got a text from Janie. He did his best to extinguish his quickened pulse at the sight of her name, but it was no use, so he read the message. It was the same message she’d sent a few times now, insisting that he come stay with her, since some sort of plumbing issue left Kyle’s house without an extra room. He told her he didn’t want to bother her, but she chewed him out for even suggesting it. There was no way he could tell her the truth, that he couldn’t trust himself to live with her for a week and not think of her every day for the next month. His clients would suffer for his lack of concentration.

  Once in town, he drove by the salon and saw Janie’s car parked out front. Tempted to stop, he gunned the gas and passed on before he could talk himself into it. He drove a few miles, enjoying the slow pace of the small town, and waved at a couple strangers as he drove by. When he left a couple months ago, the awkwardness between him and Kyle had subsided, but now he didn’t know what to expect and wondered if they’d have to start all over.

  Race turned up the gravel road. One thing was for sure: it was hot; much warmer than his last visit in June. He was used to the warmer temperatures back home and found the dry temperature much more bearable than the humid Georgia summer heat. Large water lines ran the length of the fields on either side of him as he passed. Huge wheels wrapped along long sections of pipe with sprinkler heads every twelve feet delivered the much-needed irrigation water to the sun-baked alfalfa.

  In the driveway, he could see Kyle’s old truck and Brynna’s car. His sister wanted to pick him up from the airport, but he said he wanted a vehicle of his own to do some sightseeing. Race hoped he could talk Kyle into serving as a tour guide. When he stopped the car, he saw the door fly open, and Brynna’s red curls bounced outside. He couldn’t believe how much her belly had grown since he’d been gone. It was probably better to keep that observation to himself.

  He got out and met her halfway. She threw her arms around him, although it was more of a stretch this time. “Sorry about the belly,” she said, laughing. “It keeps getting in the way.”

  He stepped back and took a good look at her. “You look amazing. It’s so good to see you.”

  “If by amazing you mean gargantuan, then yes, I do look amazing.”

  “That’s not what I mean.” He wrapped his arm around her as they walked up to the porch and into the house.

  “Dad’s been excited for you to get here. Well, as excited as he is about anything.”

  “I’m glad I had a break in my schedule to fly out.”

  “Me, too, and I’m sorry about the bedroom not being finished. This old house has more leaks than a faucet, and it’s taken the restoration company longer than I expected to get the mess cleaned up.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Race said. “I told Kyle I’d be happy to take the couch, but Janie doesn’t seem to agree.”

  Brynna smiled. “Well, she has the extra bedroom, and I think it would be good for her to have the company. I think she’s been pretty lonely lately.”

  “So things haven’t changed between her and Jaxon?” Race asked in a steady voice.

  “No. If anything, they’re worse. Ever since he missed the ultrasound, she hasn’t talked to him. Just sent a text now and then after a doctor’s visit to let him know the baby’s fine.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Race said, because Janie must be hurting.

  “Me too. Jaxon keeps calling me trying to figure out what to do, but I told him he’s the only one that can change things, and he shouldn’t mess with her until he’s ready to make the commitment. I never dreamed he’d let all of this reality show business mess up what he had with Janie.” Brynna looked away. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts. “I think that’s the problem,” she finally said. “Janie never believed the man she loved would either.”

  * * *

  “There are clean sheets on the bed and fresh towels in the bathroom,” Janie said as Race put his suitcase on the bed.

  “I didn’t expect anything less from my favorite obsessive-compulsive person,” Race said. Her face lit up as she laughed, and he had to look away.

  “How long can you stay?” she asked.

  “Just until Sunday.”

  “Well, at least we get you for a little while.”

  Race wished he didn’t want those words to mean more than they did. Janie’s heart belonged to Jaxon, and even though they were divorced, it probably always would. Somehow, he had to see her in a different light, think of her as a little sister. The problem was, he never thought about his sisters the way he thought about her.

  “I’ve ordered pizza for tonight. Everyone will be over at seven, and we can all catch up.”

  “Thanks,” Race said.

  “No problem,” Janie said, as she stepped into the hallway. Race began to unpack. “And Race?” He looked up to see her in the doorway. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

  “Me too.” He smiled and knew he was headed for trouble by the way his heart pounded.

  That night, Brynna, Layne, Kyle, and Quade, along with Janie and Race, sat around the kitchen table laughing and telling stories from their childhoods. Race wanted to write it all down before he forgot anything. He learned much about the family he never knew in a few hours and was afraid he wouldn’t remember it for a lifetime.

  They talked until almost midnight, well after the pregnant women began yawning. Race didn’t miss the sadness in Janie’s eyes every time someone brought up Jaxon. She’d changed since he’d been gone, and not only in the size of her growing tummy. Her demeanor seemed more reserved, her confidence shaken. When he first met her, she seemed determined in her acceptance of her situation. She didn’t want to hate Jaxon, so she chose to walk away. But now, it was as if she couldn’t make peace with her decision, and Jaxon was breaking her heart all over again.

  After everyone left, Race helped her tidy up. Knowing she’d never go to sleep with a sink full of dishes, he washed and she dried, their hands brushing occasionally. She’s your sister, she’s your sister. But keeping his distance was so hard when all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and make everything okay.

  Janie let Gus in the house and sat down on the couch. Race debated about joining her, but when she patted the cushion, he couldn’t resist.

  “I’m almost too tired to sleep,” Janie said.

  “It’s been a long day,” Race agreed.

  “Can I tell you something?” she asked, looking over at him.

  As long as she stared at him with those big blue eyes, she could tell him where to go. “Sure,” he said, leaning his head back against the couch.

  “I haven’t told anyone, because, well, I wasn’t going to find out, but when Jaxon didn’t show up for the ultrasound, I needed something.”

  Race tipped his head and furrowed his brow. “Yeah?”

  “I found out what I’m having,” she said, with a smile that reached her eyes.

  “A baby?” Race teased.

  Janie playfully punched him in the arm. “I'm having a girl,” she squealed, and Gus barked.

  “Really? That’s incredible,” he said, picturing a miniature version of Janie running around the place.

  “It’s terrible, but I haven’t told Jaxon,” she said. “I guess I was so hurt that he didn’t show up for the ultrasound, this is sort of my revenge.” She picked at a seam in the couch. “I know it sounds so bad, but I wish I could break his heart.” Her shoulders trembled.

  “No, it doesn’t,” Race said, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close.

  “If I could hurt him, then I’d know he loved me, but he goes on with his life like we never mattered at all.”

  “I don’t think that’s true,” Race said, hating his defense of Jaxon, but pleased he could do so even though his desires raged. “Men usually have a different way of showing their emotions. Sometimes I think the more we care about someone, the more likely we are to do something stupid.”

&n
bsp; “I wish I believed that. Then I’d have all the proof I needed.”

  “Janie, he loves you. I don’t know a lot about him, but I do know that.”

  Her face brightened. “Really?”

  “It’s obvious.”

  Her eyes dimmed. “But it doesn’t change anything.”

  “Maybe not right now, but I’m sure once this little girl gets here, he’ll be willing to do whatever it takes.”

  Janie pressed her head against his chest. “It’s already too late.”

  As he kissed the top of her head, he had to agree. He’d already fallen for her.

  Chapter 15

  Jaxon chucked the phone into the dirt—third new phone he’d purchased in a year. He sat on the ground, leaned against the fence post, pulled his hat down, and tried to hide. His 85-point ride didn’t make him feel one bit better about his life.

  The ironic thing was that he had everything he once believed would make his life perfect. He was at the top of his game in the PRCA. The ranch was free and clear, and he had a substantial amount in the bank. He was a star on a top-rated television show, fame and fortune were his, yet he’d never been more miserable. Without Janie, none of it mattered.

  “Jaxon, can I get a picture?” he heard a woman’s voice ask.

  “Sure,” he said on autopilot, and lifted his hat to smile. He saw Kip’s mother, Grace Morgan, standing in front of him. “What are you doing here?” he asked, as he scrambled to his feet. This rodeo wasn’t offering cutting, so Kip wasn’t coming.

  “Kip said you were in Dallas this weekend, so Ben and I thought we’d come see you ride. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen you.” She gave him a hug. “You need to come around more often.”

  Ben Morgan, Kip’s father, walked up with a snow cone in one hand and offered Jaxon his other. “It’s good to see you, son. That was a nice ride.”

  “Thanks,” Jaxon said.

  “I hear you’re going to be a father,” Grace said, smiling. “I bet you and Janie are really excited.”

  Jaxon saw her happy expression change to embarrassment as she realized her blunder. He and Janie weren’t married, and he knew she wouldn’t want to talk about it as if they were a couple. “Don’t worry about it, Mrs. Morgan. Even with things the way they are between Janie and me, it’s still good. I know she’s thrilled about the baby.” Looking down, he pushed a stone with the toe of his boot. He glanced back up. “And I am too. I wish we could be excited together.”

  “Have you told her that?” Ben asked.

  “No. I haven’t talked to her in a while. She doesn’t answer my phone calls anymore—less collateral damage that way.”

  “I’m sorry,” Grace said. A small crowd was gathering around them, and Jaxon forced his reality star smile. “It looks like you have some other fans waiting to see you, too,” Grace said. She wrapped her arms around him. “Don’t be a stranger.”

  “I won’t. Thanks for stopping by.”

  Ben and Grace waved as they disappeared into the crowd. Jaxon stood for another fifteen minutes posing for pictures and signing autographs. He hoped it would make him forget about his phone call from Brynna for a little while, but nothing could take his mind off what she said. Ever since the new season had started, Janie had been harassed by the paparazzi; she’d been offered thousands of dollars for an exclusive interview. Now that Janie was over thirty weeks along, her pregnancy was easy to document, and unofficial, intrusive photographs were showing up on covers everywhere.

  Jaxon weaved through the crowd, hoping to make an escape route to his truck. After a few more delayed minutes, he crawled into the cab and thought about the mess his life had become. There were moments when he believed his child would be better off without him; look how well Race turned out without Kyle. But then there were times like this when all he wanted was to get home as fast as he could, take Janie in his arms, and never let her go.

  He thought he was helping by staying away from Janie and leading the pack of tabloid wolves elsewhere, but now he didn’t know. What could he do to make them leave her alone? Miley assured him that Janie wouldn’t be bothered by the press once the episode aired about their divorce. It wouldn’t be a hot topic for more than a day or two, and the vultures would move on to their next victim. Now, he doubted that was true. As long as the show was a hit, people would pay for any juicy detail about the stars.

  Talk about season three and contracts was already brought up. Jaxon knew Kip never wanted to do the show in the first place, and it was a testament to their friendship that he even agreed to the second season. He doubted the producers could persuade Kip for a third, especially now that Cassie was in his life. The producers didn’t know about Kip’s relationship with Cassie; they still believed some ill-conceived notion about Kip dating Austyn Macoy. Jaxon wasn’t about to ask his friend to do another season. That left Tayson, and Jaxon hadn’t talked to him about it, but he assumed Tayson would be willing by the way he spent his money on the nightlife and girls.

  He knew what he should do … but what if he gave it all up for Janie, and she didn’t take him back? The damage he’d done may be irrevocable, and how could he ask her to trust him again when he didn’t know if he could trust himself? When The Cowboys started, he thought he could have it all, and he was wrong. But now, in the front seat of his truck, he knew where the good life was: back at home, with a blue-eyed girl on a front porch swing, swaying with his unborn child. He closed his eyes, and he could hear her sing a lonesome lullaby.

  * * *

  Race rushed through the hospital doors with Janie in is arms. His heart banged against his chest with worry; he’d been a fool to think a month away would change his feelings for her. It was October, and the baby wasn’t due for another four weeks. He’d been in Utah for a little over a day when he and Janie went out for lunch and then planned to purchase some baby items. They had been shopping for a crib when Janie doubled over in pain. Panic filled him, but he shook it off as Race got her into the car. He drove to the hospital as fast as he dared with Janie taking deep breaths.

  “Race, I’m okay,” Janie said. “You can put me down.”

  “Are you sure?” He set her on her feet and grabbed a wheelchair.

  Janie sat down and pointed to the elevators. “Labor and delivery is on the third floor.”

  Jogging to the doors, he pushed the button several times in a row.

  “The pain’s not so bad anymore.”

  The doors opened, and he wheeled her inside. He hit the third-floor button, and they began to move.

  “Race, take a deep breath. You’re going to need oxygen if you don’t, and I really can’t worry about you passing out on me right now.”

  He exhaled. “You’re right. Sorry.”

  “It’s fine. Just breathe.”

  The elevator stopped, and they got off. A nurse met them, and Janie explained the situation. They took her and Race into a room, instructing her to change into the hospital gown and get into the bed. “Your husband’s welcome to stay. I’ll be back in a moment to hook you up to the monitor, and we’ll see what’s going on.”

  “Um, I’m not her husband,” Race said.

  “Oh.” The nurse had a bewildered look on her face.

  “He’s my brother-in-law,” Janie said, and Race couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He was here, and Jaxon wasn’t. Why couldn’t she see that? All he needed was one sign from her, and he’d do everything in his power to make her forget Jaxon.

  “Oh, okay. Well, in that case,” she said to Race, “follow me.”

  They stepped outside the room and closed the door. Race needed to sit down before he collapsed.

  “Would you like a glass of juice?” the woman at the desk asked.

  “Sure,” he said.

  “You’re not the first man I’ve seen looking worse than the patient.”

  He smiled as she handed him a paper cup with orange juice. “Thanks.”

  The door opened, and the nurse motioned for him to come. “
She’s all hooked up, and we’ll keep an eye on her for a while.”

  “Okay,” Race walked in to see Janie tucked under the white covers.

  “Do you hear that?” Janie asked, staring at the monitor. “It’s her heartbeat. The nurse says it sounds perfect.”

  Race walked over and listened to the steady rhythm. “That’s sounds beautiful.”

  “I’m still having contractions, and she’s going to call the doctor, but she says she thinks I’m okay. False alarm.”

  “That’s good,” Race said. “Should I call Brynna, or …” he cleared his throat, “Jaxon?”

  “No, not yet. I don’t want to worry anyone unless I need to. Besides, I’ve got you here.” She took his hand. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “Yeah, I’ve got to admit, I’ve got good timing.”

  “I know. I’m so glad you got back in town yesterday.”

  “Me too.”

  Ever since his last visit when Janie confided in him about the ultrasound, they texted every day and talked a couple times a week. Janie asked him if he could get away for a few days to help her get the nursery put together. She didn’t want to bother Layne to put the crib up for her when she purchased it. Brynna had a honey-do list a mile long, getting ready for their own baby, who was due in about two weeks.

  Race’s mother warned him about getting too close to Janie when she was in such a vulnerable place, but he couldn’t help it. She needed him, and he wanted to be there for her no matter how she labeled him.

  “Do you need anything?” he asked, stroking her hand with his thumb.

  “No. Just the company.”

  “That I can do.” He pulled a chair up next to the bedside, and the nurse, whose name was Becky, picked up the strip of paper spewing from the machine.

  “It looks like your contractions are settling down. I talked to Dr. Jones, and he wants me to see if you’ve dilated at all.”