The Haunted Forest Tour

by Jeff Strand

  Not wanting to take any chances, Emery dropped down a few hundred feet and turned as quickly as he could to see what might be following behind him.

  There was nothing to see. Nothing at all. Maybe it was a passing cloud he'd spotted. He scanned the sky one more time to be sure.

  The dragon came into view.

  It came barreling down from above him, massive leathery wings held out and back in a power dive, its mouth open wide and its teeth bared.

  Emery didn't think; he just reacted. The helicopter cut hard to the left as the reptilian nightmare ripped through the air, just barely missing Emery and his flying machine.

  Emery let out a long, loud scream of panic and fought hard to keep enough altitude to avoid the trees below.

  "What the hell was that?"

  The long serpentine body was curling around and coming back for another try.

  A dragon. He and Duchess had not signed on to engage in aerial combat with a fucking dragon. This was way, way beyond the scope of his contract. He could handle funky trees, but not giant mythical flying creatures.

  The dragon came closer, wings cutting the air as it approached.

  Emery shook his head and called out a whirlwind of profanities as he tried to veer off a second time.

  When he looked up again, the dragon was right on him. Emery was smart enough to know that he was officially Fucked Up Beyond All Repair.

  Rather than try to make an impossible escape, Emery angled the rotors at the dragon and closed his eyes. The thick blades of the helicopter met up with the heavily armored body of the dragon.

  In a perfect world, the blades would have cut the dragon into confetti, and Emery would have returned home with a great story to tell his buddies at Ricky's Bar. The dragon was right above me! I thought I was a goner for sure, but at the last second, I angled the rotors and chopped that son of a bitch up into dragon steaks. Ate one myself for dinner that night. Tasted like salmon.

  This was not a perfect world. The blades broke off against the thick scales, though they managed to hack a trench into one of the massive wings.

  The dragon let out a roar.

  Emery let out a scream.

  The dragon lifted away from the helicopter and began to angle around for another approach.

  Rather unobligingly, the helicopter dropped like a rock toward the forest below.

  Not one to let a helicopter get in the last word, the dragon breathed out a massive plume of flames that completely engulfed Emery and the helicopter alike.

  Though he took some small comfort in the fact that he and Duchess were dying together, Emery screamed all the way down to the ground.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Lee saw a bright flash of light and watched for the two seconds it was visible above the trees. Whatever it had been, wherever it had been, it was gone almost as quickly as it showed itself.

  Didn't look like a shooting star.

  Looked like something on fire.

  Either way, as long as it wasn't a meteorite bearing alien blobs, it had been a nice distraction for a moment.

  They were still together, but as a group they'd moved away from the reclamation plant. Much as the desire to be near a real building or even in one was strong, after a brief discussion everyone agreed it was best to leave behind the worms and other dangers. They didn't need anybody else in their group to get taken over by possessive mold.

  At least out in the open they could get a little more ambient light. Until sundown. Which wasn't far away.

  They walked slowly, headed the same way Eddie had gone, back toward the tracks. It seemed like a much better idea than heading blindly through unexplored territory. Though Barbara clearly wanted to pick up the pace, she was stuck with a pair of old folks, a distraught widow, and a nearly comatose young boy who she carried piggy-back style.

  The woods were almost quiet. Almost, because Lee had heard several things moving nearby. Big things, little things, wet-sounding squishy things and at least one thing that was big enough he could see the silhouette moving through the trees at a height of at least thirty feet. The good news, so far, was that none of them had come looking for dinner.

  The bad news was that sooner or later one of them would.

  They had no real weapons. Lee had broken a four-foot-long branch off a tree with a ridiculous amount of effort and used it as a walking stick. The wood was dense and the stick weighed in at close to ten pounds. Not bad, but he'd have preferred a really big gun with a few thousand rounds of ammunition.

  The Proof Demon slithered up beside him.

  He didn't see it or hear it first...he felt it. One second there was just the night and the next the odd collection of serpentine limbs was next to him, its eyes faintly glowing inside the hood that surrounded its face.

  The thing contemplated him from just out of range of his trusty stick.

  Nobody else acknowledged it. They continued their slow, half-dead walking pace.

  Lee contemplated the demon right back. Somehow he doubted that its tentacles or multiple tails were knocking anywhere as hard as his knees wanted to.

  "You seem to be in something of a predicament." He heard the cold voice very clearly in his head. His ears remained unaffected.

  "What do you want?" Lee spoke out loud, having no sort of telepathic abilities that he knew of.

  Not only had they not heard the demon, the others didn't seem to have heard Lee, either. Even Mindy, who was only a couple of feet away, didn't react to his question.

  "You amuse me. You who spent your life waiting for miracles and instead found us."

  "With all due respect, you can shove your amusement where the sun don't shine, mister." If he ever did write a book about his adventures in the forest, he'd give himself a better response. It wasn't like Mindy, Barbara, Tina, or Tommy could hear him.

  "And that is why you amuse me, Lee Burgundy. You are decrepit, your heart is weak, and your body is frail, and yet you stand here ready to fight me to protect the others. Why?"

  "It's the right thing to do."

  "There is no right or wrong, old man. There is only what brings us pleasure."

  "What do you really want?" Lee tightened his hands on the staff as the Proof Demon slid a few inches closer. He wondered if the others could see him at all.

  "I have decided that I can help you. I can give you much, if you desire it."

  "Like what?"

  "You sound dubious."

  "I'm not in the habit of trusting snake tails and freaky eyes in a cloak. Sorry."

  The demon slithered closer and rose in height, stretching its body until it towered two feet above him. The eyes within the hood glittered brightly and pulsed with an odd rhythm. Lee caught the pattern immediately, because he could feel the rhythm inside his head. He'd spent his life debunking every kind of supernatural claim and that included telepathy. He'd have bet good money that what he felt was the equivalent of fingers rifling through the paperwork of his mind.

  "You would be correct, Lee Burgundy. I am reading you."

  "Why?"

  "To gain an unfair advantage."

  "I'm surrounded by five miles of hungry monsters. I think you already have that."

  "More than five by now, I think. Still, it helps to know what one has to bargain with." The thing had no shoulders, not in the traditional sense, but it shrugged them anyway.

  "What makes you think I would bargain with you?"

  "You want to live through this event, don't you?"

  "I suppose." Maybe if he listened, he could work out a way out of his current mess. There was nothing to bargain with, really, but he could at least buy some time. "So what can you do about getting me out of here in one piece?"

  "More than you know. I can ensure your safety through what you call the Haunted Forest."

  "You a bigwig?"

  "I am not in charge here, but I have connections, if you will."

  "I don't know if I will or not until I hear what you're offering and what it will cost." L
ee shook his head. "Somehow I doubt you take American Express."

  "I seldom take credit." It settled back a bit, and he watched as one of its arms came out from the folds of the tattered cloak. "I offer you three things, Lee Burgundy. First, I offer you safe passage from this place. Second, I offer you your youth again."

  "You're lying. Old is old and it doesn't change." The words were out of his mouth without his even thinking about them.

  The Proof Demon let out a low hissing noise, and the bared collection of serpentine fingers reached out and grabbed Lee's wrist in a grip as cold as the grave. Lee tried to pull back, but his arm was firmly caught. He raised the stick he held in his other hand, and one of the creature's many tails lifted into the air and whipped around it, holding it still.

  "Watch and learn, Lee Burgundy." The hand on his wrist squeezed. Lee bit back a yelp and looked closely as the fingers opened tiny mouths and bit into his flesh. He felt the venom enter his body. It wasn't painful at all, but he wanted to scream anyway. As soon as the writhing digits had done their damage, they pulled away from him and the tail on his trusty stick did the exact same thing.

  Lee pulled his arm closer to his face and looked at the wounds, wondering how long he had to live. The tiny bite marks vanished almost instantly, but a tingling sensation spread.

  "What did you do to me, you nasty little fuck?" His ears were ringing and his heart felt like it was going triple-time in his chest. The muscles in his arm spasmed and the tremors started moving, sliding through his body in jolts that still didn't hurt but were scary as hell.

  The seizure spread through him like lightning and Lee fell back on his ass before it was over, dropping his only weapon in the process.

  He tried to cry out for Mindy, Barbara, anyone, but they continued walking, completely unaware of what was happening to him.

  Anger lashed through him. Anger he hadn't felt since the day several years ago when he saw some teenagers run over a dog in the street, get out of their car to poke at the dying animal, and then return to their vehicle and drive off, laughing. His anger was both intoxicating and frightening in its intensity.

  Lee climbed back to his feet and practically snarled at the Proof Demon, which remained—not surprisingly—unafraid of him.

  Lee took two steps forward, his hands clenched into fists that felt like wrecking balls.

  "Stop, Lee Burgundy, and look at yourself." Lee caught sight of his arm from the corner of his eye and stopped as he took a closer look. The fine gray hairs that had been on his arm for as long as he could remember were gone, replaced by thicker, darker hairs. The veins that had been so prominent in the last five years were still there, but partially submerged in heavy, corded muscle. Lee looked carefully at his hands, which were stronger than they had any right to be. He moved his hands up to his face and felt the geography of his flesh. The wrinkles were gone, filled in with soft flesh. The bones were the same but also partially obscured by muscular tone he hadn't felt in over two decades.

  "You made me young again?"

  "Oh yes. A sample before we conclude our business, Lee Burgundy."

  "Just Lee."

  "Lee then. Your freedom and your youth, Lee. I can offer you both of those, as well as the woman of your choice, from the ones before you or any others that live in this world of yours."

  Lee looked again at his hands, at his arms, the muscles that had rebuilt themselves, the bones that felt stronger than he could ever recall. His head swam with the proof that miracles could happen.

  Miracles. That was the rub. Miracles were the province of the divine, not the infernal. Oh, the stories of demons and devils offering bargains were endless, but they always came with a price.

  "I don't have much, I grant you that." Even his voice was young and strong again! "But I have no desire to sell my soul for fleeting youth and a free ride out of this dump."

  "Don't forget the women, Lee..."

  He looked again at Mindy and the others, who were now literally moving in slow motion. He'd had more interaction with the fairer sex in the last few hours than he had in the past year, and all of that had been here, in the craziest place he had ever walked. While purely primal, a part of him longed to hold a woman again, to kiss a beautiful girl's lips.

  "I don't want your soul, Lee. That would hardly make a worthwhile bargain for you, would it?"

  "Then what do you want?"

  The Proof Demon sidled closer, the multiple lights of its eyes staring at him again.

  "Give me the boy. Give me young Tommy and you shall have all that I promised you."

  Lee turned his head to look at Tommy. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words would come.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Dover's Point was hardly a booming metropolis, but the last four years had seen something of a population explosion in the dusty little town. First, there was the claim to fame as the town closest to the Haunted Forest. That brought a lot of weirdoes and freaks into the area, to say nothing of religious fanatics.

  Then came the people who actually bought all the land around the Haunted Forest and decided to make the unholy spot into a tourist attraction. Most of the residents in the area were a little taken aback at first, but the money came rolling in along with the construction crews, scientists, and hucksters that filled that place. After that, all was forgiven, or at least forgotten by a lot of the locals.

  The rest of the country might be going through a recession, but things were looking up economically for most of Dover's Point and the population that called it home.

  Aloysius Mortimer Gantry — Al to his friends, Allie to his mistress, and the honorable Mayor Al Gantry to everyone else — thought the Haunted Forest Tour was one mighty fine addition to the area, really. It was a nice diversion from the billion or so miles of sand and tumbleweeds that made up the rest of New Mexico. Of course, he'd made a damn fine lump of scratch when everything started, so he wasn't in much of a position to bitch about it, either.

  Mayor Al was perfectly fine having monsters as neighbors just as long as they decided to keep to themselves.

  Jake Steiner, the head of the police force in Dover's Point, was fine with that notion too. He wasn't so fine with the idea of sending his men out to the Haunted Forest Tour headquarters. He'd made that perfectly clear to Al only fifteen minutes earlier. One squad car stayed in town. The other nine went to check on what was going on. Why? Because the people running the tour paid good money to make sure the police force in Dover's Point was both sizeable and well armed. They were a cautious lot and since they were being nice enough to pay for easily half the salaries in town, Al felt he could be magnanimous about the whole thing.

  It was good to have the right connections, even if now and then you had to do a little something in return for the favors.

  Little Amy, his fourth granddaughter and just possibly the cutest child ever to walk the earth, in Al's heartfelt opinion, came over and climbed up in his lap. At all of five years old he could barely even feel her weight in his lap.

  "Well, what are you doin', button?" He smiled at the girl, and she smiled back, clearly showing the lack of her two front teeth. They'd fallen out within three days of each other.

  "Grampa, can you take me to see the new trees?"

  "What new trees, button?" She was always asking him to go on adventures with her, and he was always more than happy to oblige. Like he told Candi during their "business trips," he was a family man.

  Amy pointed down the road leading out of town, and Al looked where her finger indicated.

  The smile that was on his face suddenly grew very heavy. He stared long and hard at the tree that was growing at the edge of Dover's Point, his heart thudding heavily in his chest. The tree hadn't been there an hour earlier. Hell with that, not even ten minutes ago. He was getting on in years, but Al didn't make mistakes like that. He'd have remembered a giant, ugly tree with fruit on it big enough that he could see them from his front porch. He licked his now-dry lips.

  "Hon
ey girl, you want to do your granddaddy a really big favor?" She nodded excitedly. Normally favors meant running inside to get him something. Said favors were often rewarded by a glass of soda and ice. "You go inside and ask your daddy to come out here. Ask him to bring the binoculars, okay, baby girl?"

  "Okay!" She hopped off his lap and ran for the front door. Al stood up and stretched, feeling the twinges that ran across most of his back in the process. Getting old sucked.

  He felt the boards under his feet creak and groan for a moment and frowned, wondering if he'd finally put on enough weight to make him fall through the old porch.

  As it turned out, he had not. The tree that came out of the ground five feet to his left was the culprit. He hurried toward the front door just in time to run into his son.

  Bernard gaped at the tree. "Oh, sweet Jesus in a minivan, it's happening again!"

  "Go get the chainsaw and be fast about it!" Al had to yell to be heard because the sound of splintering wood was loud.

  Bernard nodded, jumped off the porch, and ran back around the house.

  Al reached for the cell phone on his hip and dialed the police station on the speed dial. No reason for worrying with emergency numbers when he already had fast access to Steiner anytime he needed to talk to him. Sometimes it's good to be the boss.

  And sometimes, not so much. "Jake, pick up the damned phone!"

  The tree continued to grow and sprouted a thick branch that just missed taking out the front window. He'd have felt better about it if the growing length of wood didn't then catch the siding and start pushing against it hard enough to crack more boards.

  "Answer the damned phone, Jake! Now!" Jake did not respond, which, to be honest, was to be expected as he was halfway to the H.F. Enterprises offices, along with most of the police force.

  The tree limb pushed through the wall and cut into the roof as it rose higher, taking half the shingles along for the ride.

  Al stepped back again and into the house. Enough was enough. He disconnected from his call and then moved, as quickly as his girth would allow, over to his office at the back of his home. He needed to make a call for back-up that wasn't on his speed dial.