The Sinner

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The Sinner Page 18

by K. Trap Jones


  They did so quickly with no spare time to give to strangers.

  I lifted my head up and walked

  With a complete understanding and confidence

  In the plan that Asmodeus had constructed.

  I did notice that none of the servants spoke,

  So I held back my tongue while in the courtyard.

  We came to the main doors

  Leading into the palace

  Where two smaller guards resided.

  My courage once again fled the scene

  And buried itself deep in my stomach.

  Fear and stress gladly stepped in to fill the void left behind.

  The guards asked our purpose in the palace.

  I kept silent and let Asmodeus handle the situation.

  She stated that she was here to deliver a private servant.

  She also said that I had served under her late husband.

  The guards nodded in acceptance and

  Allowed us entry into the palace.

  The inside of the palace overflowed

  With wealth and riches

  That I had never seen before.

  The amount of relics and statues

  That aligned the main hallway

  Was breathtaking to say the least.

  The glistening marble that constructed

  The floor and columns was enough to make an artist weep.

  The surroundings were so magnificent

  That I had a hard time understanding

  How people could live like that.

  The palace had so much

  When regular citizens of the city had so less.

  I had never been wealthy.

  Even with my own business.

  To witness that amount of wealth

  Proved difficult for me to relate to.

  It was as if I had entered into a completely

  Different world or realm of society

  Where the poor were no longer

  Sleeping on the streets, but rather transformed into servants.

  Everyone was clean in appearance

  Regardless of their status in rank.

  Just crossing the threshold

  Onto the marble environment

  Gave me a sense of purpose and prosperity.

  I was so accustomed to the outer streets

  That the inside of the palace felt odd to me.

  I imagined that the maiden felt the same way

  When venturing into the city each day.

  Everywhere I looked there were priceless

  Historical relics that dated before my time.

  Although I wanted to touch them

  In order to feel their power, I dared not

  As they were worth more than my simple life.

  Instead I merely followed Asmodeus

  As we walked through an endless labyrinth of hallways.

  My mind was so thoughtless

  Due to my surroundings

  That I paid no attention to where

  We were going and how we managed to get there.

  I began to have second thoughts

  Regarding the plan

  Once I witnessed how the maiden lived.

  She had so much more compared to me.

  I voiced my hesitation to Asmodeus

  That prompted her forward progress to stop.

  She turned to me with her kind face and told me not to worry.

  She briefly eased my anxiety;

  However my calmness would not last.

  We rounded a corner and into a large banquet room.

  Endless tables crossed over the marble floor

  Holding a large buffet.

  The amount of varying food was astonishing and

  Would feed all of the poor in the city.

  The seats around the table were occupied by large burly men

  Who were engulfing the food at a high rate with no care.

  As we passed one table,

  I could not help but compare my statue to the men.

  Their arms were perfectly etched with muscles

  As if they were sculpted by God himself.

  I saw muscles that I did not even know existed in a human arm

  While they devoured full legs of lamb.

  I felt so weak in their presence and not much of a man.

  Even the legs of meat were bigger than my arms.

  What little dignity I had left escorted me out of the banquet room

  And into another larger hallway lined with various artworks.

  My hesitation with the plan

  Showed its ugly face again and

  Was backed with the onslaught

  On my manhood from the banquet room.

  I must have sighed louder than I imagined

  As Asmodeus turned to look at me without a smile.

  She repeated that I had nothing to worry about, that

  The plan was working exactly as we had discussed.

  She was right in her words.

  It was going very smoothly,

  However my mind was plaguing me with delays and

  Uncontrollable thoughts of indecision.

  I do not believe she accepted my reasoning.

  She ignored my words and continued walking.

  She disregarded my feelings like a piece of fruit

  At a barbarian’s table.

  She had always been so accepting

  Of how I felt until that moment.

  I continued to follow her,

  However my mind was flourishing with disappointment.

  How could she ignore me?

  Her plan was to benefit me not her.

  What was she to receive from the plan?

  I must have pondered the notion

  For quite some time as Asmodeus

  Announced that the maiden’s quarters

  Were just up ahead.

  Reality struck me

  With such an intense power

  That all of my confusion and

  Hesitation were slaughtered.

  Asmodeus always knew exactly

  What to say to me in order to

  Completely alter my outlook

  On any given situation.

  We neared the main door of the maiden’s quarters.

  I instantly fell back in love with her.

  The aroma of the freshly cut flowers

  That stood on either side of the door

  Heightened my desires.

  They awakened the sleeping butterflies

  Living within my stomach.

  My chaotic nerves prompted

  My hands to tremble

  As I reached to touch the solid door.

  Asmodeus plucked a single rose and handed it to me.

  She also gifted me a small silk cloth tied with a golden thread.

  I opened the cloth and revealed a petite golden dagger

  That was so beautiful in design.

  I was immediately grateful to my friend,

  But disappointed in myself for not preparing a gift in advance.

  She told me that she could no longer continue with me.

  She said that she was able to execute the plan

  To allow me access to the maiden’s quarters,

  But her portion had come to an end.

  She continued to say that I was to wait

  In the room for the return of the maiden.

  She also informed me that the choices

  That I make within the room would be my own.

  At that moment, I had no idea as to what

  She was talking about as my mind was fixated

  On my first physical encounter with my beloved.

  Whatever it was that she said must not have been

  Important as she did not stay long enough to get a response.

  Instead she hurried down the hallway and

  Left me alone standing in front of the door.

  I reached for and felt the cool handle in the palm of my hand.

  With an effortless push,
r />   The door squeaked open and allowed my entrance.

  The room was everything I had imagined it would be.

  The relics and treasures that were displayed

  Added to the rich environment.

  The chairs were draped with the finest fabrics.

  Statues of what I assumed were her ancestors

  Stood guard along the walls and

  Watched me as I stared wide eyed at my surroundings.

  Questions bombarded me as I waited.

  Where should I be when she arrived?

  Should I offer her the gift before or after we converse?

  Not knowing the answers to the questions

  Added to my confusion as my nerves took hold.

  Being alone in the room did not benefit me at all.

  The extra time to dwell in the plan and reality

  Of where I resided only served to attack my senses.

  The varying shifts of my emotions

  Were enough to make any sane person go mad.

  The only true satisfaction that I received

  Was from the red rose that I held in my hand.

  It served as a symbol of my passion and

  Desire for my beloved.

  The red pedals were perfectly shaped.

  The green stem provided me with strength

  During that crucial time.

  In the land of free roaming thought and mental confusion,

  The rose was my physical anchor

  That kept me from being swept away.

  By looking to the flower,

  I was able to calm myself and imagined my maiden.

  Her beauty soothed me

  As it had always done in my time of need.

  She was perfection in my eyes even if only a vision.

  I was so excited to meet her that my breath become short

  And my heartbeat became uneven.

  My nerves sent me into a downward spiral.

  My emotions ran wild like released farm animals.

  I went into a labyrinth of panic and could not find my way out.

  I dropped the gifts and raced towards the window.

  The height would not allow me to exit that way.

  I stood in the middle of the room praying for an answer,

  But received none.

  I was alone and felt trapped.

  My desires had led me there and my conscious wanted me out.

  I sat down in my self-made prison

  And grasped the gifts as if they would provide me with answers.

  The red rose once again calmed me.

  It comforted me for the remainder of my isolation.

  With my mind quiet,

  I was able to hear the faint sound of footsteps

  Approaching from the hallway outside.

  The rhythmic patterns on the marble floor were my fate.

  My heart fed off the rhythm and matched the pace precisely.

  With the gifts clinging to my palms by a thin glaze of sweat,

  I waited.

  With my eyes wide open and my throat dry,

  I waited.

  The moment that I had envisioned

  For such a long time was about to happen.

  The only thing between me and my lady

  Was a wooden door.

  I wanted to leap up and swing open the door

  To reveal myself, but my shaky,

  Unstable legs would not allow that.

  The door slowly opened and prompted me to stand.

  The quick movement blurred my vision,

  But graciously allowed me to remain vertical.

  That moment of not knowing

  What was to come was a time period

  I wished I had back

  As the choices I would make from there on

  Would alter my fate.

  The door opened to reveal a large man

  Dressed in a white robe.

  The image immediately shocked me

  As I was expecting my beautiful maiden.

  The vision of me also confused the man

  As we stood there facing each other with

  Our eyes full of astonishment.

  His eyes broke the weird pause

  By gazing down at the rose and dagger.

  I could see the anger in his eyes building,

  But I had no idea who he was and why he was there.

  We both spurted out a question at the same time.

  He asked who I was and

  I asked why he was there.

  In the heat of the confusion

  We each actually answered our own questions.

  I stated I was here to see the maiden.

  He answered with something that

  Would devour my inner demon and

  Alter it into something much more devastating.

  He stated that he was her husband.

  The words pierced my skull and

  Allowed me to die inside over and over again.

  I felt complete emptiness and hollowed.

  My desires were all drained with his words.

  Everything I had done for her,

  All of the time I gave her had been stolen from me.

  I did not know who I was without those desires.

  The darkness consumed any light

  That my heart leaked and forced my soul

  Into a pit of despair from which it would not return.

  I plummeted from the ledge

  Without any hope of grasping the edge for support.

  I allowed my emotions to rule my life

  And for that I would suffer.

  The husband went into a blind rage and lunged for me.

  I was too distraught in my mind to avoid any such attack.

  I felt every swing of his fist connect with my face,

  But the pain did not compare to what my heart had experienced.

  My vision went in and out with every strike,

  But my mind portrayed visions of disloyalty and resentment.

  I felt my body collide with the ground,

  But it was of no concern to me.

  My body became weak, but

  My mind remained strong.

  They were two separated entities and

  Cared not for one another.

  My body was only concerned

  With the brutal assault it was receiving

  While my mind only cared about

  The emotional scars that it had received.

  My body was bleeding, but my heart was bleeding more.

  I felt the cool air combine with my open wounds on my face,

  As the husband continued to beat me.

  My mind shifted from thoughts of pity to thoughts of revenge.

  My body was energized by my mind and

  Allowed me the option of one swift motion.

  With dagger still in hand,

  I stood and stabbed the man deep in his heart.

  The force of my attack allowed me to overpower

  The weakened man and push him back towards the door.

  His back slammed into the wooden door

  With me and my dagger holding him up.

  I twisted my weapon

  As if to drain his heart of any love he had for his wife.

  I felt the blood spill over my hand and

  Drain the admiration into my pores.

  His eyes glazed over,

  But I was not done with him.

  I dragged my dagger around his chest

  And pulled his heart from its case.

  His body crumbled to the floor

  With no love or heart remaining for my beloved.

  I had no time to contemplate what I had done

  As more footsteps could be heard in the hallway.

  I dragged the husband’s body away from the door and

  Tossed his heart back on his chest.

  It was not the idea first encounter

  I had envisioned for her

  As my face was bloody and bruised,


  Plus her husband was heartless on the floor, but

  She was tainted in my eyes now.

  She had lied to me the entire time.

  Every shared encounter,

  Every dream and fantasy was all for nothing.

  She tempted me with her beauty and false hope.

  She had none of the traits

  That she had portrayed for as long as I knew her.

  She hid secrets from me; a marriage from me.

  She would realize what she had done to me.

  She destroyed me and forced me to do evil things.

  She was everything to me and

  Everything was what she took from me.

  As the door opened, I hid to the side to allow her to enter.

  She closed the door behind her and felt the blood-stained wood.

  Her eyes widened as she looked to her red coated fingertips

  And saw her lifeless husband on the ground.

  She was so terrified

  That she could not gather the breath

  Needed to form a scream.

  She had not seen me yet, but I was very close

  And was able to smell her hair.

  The scent was beautiful and relaxed me.

  It was an aroma that would be with me

  Long after my stay on earth.

  Her lure was strong and overpowering to my senses.

  I lost myself in her for a brief moment

  Until she turned around and yelled.

  She quickly stepped away from me in defense.

  Her eyes were a brilliant shade of green,

  But were overshadowed by the tears and strain from the stress.

  Her lips were moist and quivering from the fear,

  But were beautiful nonetheless.

  She did not remember me,

  Even after everything we had been through.

  Every day we saw each other and shared so much,

  And yet she had no memory.

  She looked to me as if I was a stranger, a murderer.

  If she could only look deep in her heart,

  I believed that she would remember me and

  The love that I offered her with every encounter.

  How could she not understand me?

 

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