The Sinner

by K. Trap Jones

  With the dense trees,

  But I always kept my mind focused on reaching the summit,

  For it was there that my appreciation would be reinvented.

  Each trip proved easier than before

  As the key to success resided in the idea

  That one never questioned their decisions.

  A single path always led to the top

  Regardless of the direction that was initially taken.

  Prophets entered into a realm of dismay

  When they doubted their choice and

  Altered their route.

  My tired body and drained mind

  Were replenished as I stepped out of the trees

  Onto the flattened terrain at the apex of the hill.

  The burn within my legs subsided

  As I looked upon the monument.

  Several other prophets exited the trees and

  Were caught up in the vision as well.

  All the traveling, climbing and mental exhaustion

  Led each of us here and

  We respected the vision by not appearing too eager.

  I took a brief moment to collect

  My thoughts and adjust my clothing.

  The surrounding radius of the hilltop

  Was etched with hedges and vines from the greenest pastures.

  The monument itself consisted of a squared

  Outlay of high marble columns

  That pierced the low lying clouds.

  The structure rendered into the minds

  Of those who were lucky enough to ponder upon it,

  That the monument supported the heavens;

  Therefore, those that stepped foot within its perimeter

  Would also be sustaining the heavens.

  One path supplied travelers

  With the only option of entry

  Where large circular pools of water resided.

  These served as a cleansing ritual

  For the hands and face of the weary travelers.

  It was understood that the dirt and grime

  That often found its way upon the prophets

  During traveling would contradict the words of God.

  After grabbing the rough bark of the trees for support,

  The cool water felt refreshing on my splintered hands.

  The cleansing ritual also allowed me

  To rid my body of what I perceived as human waste material

  From those who clung to me or did not believe my words.

  Normal water could not penetrate like the holy water.

  The human contamination that I endured in my homeland

  Would all be released and destroyed

  There in the pool at God’s garden.

  The monument had no ceiling or other structure

  That would shield the views of heaven.

  The architecture was simple,

  But the concept and understanding was complicated.

  Several prophets were merely staring up into the clouds

  While others transcribed their surroundings.

  Each one would receive their own unique vision

  That would not be duplicated.

  For me, I usually tried to find a vacant place

  On the inner floor that sunk down with steps.

  The area provided me with a great opportunity

  To witness the heavens

  As well as the ability to feel the compassion of my colleagues.

  I enjoyed watching others receive

  The word of God and the transformation

  In their mannerisms that would occur shortly thereafter.

  No conversations between prophets ever occurred atop the hill

  Since the notion that the presence of God was always felt.

  However, on that particular day, something odd happened.

  As I was looking to the heavens for answers,

  My attention was captured across the monument floor

  Where I noticed a lone prophet walking towards me.

  He was dressed in a fine robe that was etched in red fabric.

  His long, yellow hair matched his beard.

  His eyes were fixated on me as he approached.

  At first I did not know what to think about the situation,

  As I dared not greet or converse with the man

  Out of respect for God and the surroundings.

  However, he did not to share the same belief

  As he continued towards me.

  He greeted me with a smile and I returned the gesture,

  But then I turned away as a means

  To avoid any further encounters.

  My denial did not alter his notions as he began to speak.

  He said his name was Lucifer and

  That he had been admiring my work for quite some time.

  I did not understand his words and

  Thought that he had possibly

  Heard one of my sermons within the town,

  But that was not the situation.

  I felt uncomfortable carrying on a conversation with him

  Especially in such a holy sanctuary,

  But then realized that we were the only prophets there.

  The steps and inner area of the monument were completely bare.

  He halted my confused stare at the emptiness

  By stating that I had done well in my tasks,

  That God was pleased with me.

  I offered no response

  As I was still concentrating on the idea

  That everyone had suddenly left the vicinity.

  He continued with his praise of me

  Stating that I had exceeded his expectations,

  That it was natural for me to be confused and

  It was his task to rid my mind of the uncertainty

  So that I would truly see the reality of my situation,

  Of which I currently believed was that my worshipping

  Was being interrupted by another prophet.

  I did not realize that my current belief

  Would be butchered and replaced with a notion

  That even the most talented mind would question.

  His next statement seemed to awaken my inner spirit, but

  It provided me with nothing more than additional questions.

  He stated that my recent endeavors

  Were deemed successful in the eyes of the Lord.

  I asked him to clarify what he meant

  By endeavors and he offered more insight into the statement.

  He claimed that too much information

  At once would cloud my judgment and damage my mind.

  To avoid that, he would start at the beginning.

  He claimed that I had been chosen by God

  To live through sin.

  He then mentioned the confinement of a cave.

  The thought jarred my mind as if I were struck by a solid object.

  My mind immediately went into battle mode as

  I tried desperately to counteract the visions of such a cave.

  The harder I struggled,

  The more difficult it was to believe.

  The reality of the hilltop monument

  Was clashing with those of a darkened cave.

  The battle carved at my soul and

  Slaughtered my belief system

  To the point where I could not determine

  Which vision was real.

  Lucifer placed a hand on my shoulder

  As I continued to focus on the assault occurring on my memory.

  I could not decipher his next concept.

  He stated that the monument and surrounding areas

  Were mere thought patterns

  Much like the ore mine, wheat farm, and blizzard.

  I was losing my grip on my mind the more he spoke.

  I felt that he was pulling me into

  A downward coil of resentment and

  I was unable to find a sturdy platform to sustain myself.

  I needed to def
end myself,

  But I had no method of acquiring it.

  The whole situation was too much for me to handle and

  I had no idea who Lucifer was.

  My body reacted as I held up my hands and

  Requested for him to stop talking to me.

  The encounter was unlike any other

  That I had experienced on the hill.

  I could not get passed the idea

  That he approached me during my personal worshipping.

  I became fearful as to what God would think.

  Had he ruined me in God’s eyes

  Due to his selfish need for conversation?

  I viewed his words as a disease to my beliefs and

  I was not going to allow my mind to be infected

  Any more than it already had.

  To avoid the situation,

  I walked to the other side of the monument,

  But was met instantly by him once again.

  He said that my confused state was justified,

  That it would subside in time.

  My body reacted again by holding up my hands

  As if to push him away from me.

  My mind was more concerned with God and

  His reaction to the disrespectful demeanor of my actions.

  I looked to the clouds for some sort of reassurance, but found none.

  Lucifer had doomed both of us

  Through his outburst of words and lack of respect

  For the tranquility of the monument,

  But he appeared not to share the same concern

  As he continued to talk.

  He stated that he was not there

  To offend or disrupt me;

  He was only there to provide me with realism.

  My mind began to hurt with every word

  That spewed from his mouth and I wanted him to be quiet.

  I covered my ears as I looked for any type of safe haven

  That I could escape to and hide within.

  The openness of the monument made that idea useless.

  Instead I opted to close my eyes and

  Pray to God for his understanding.

  The back of my eye lids only provided me

  With visions of an ore mine

  Where I vaguely remembered red flags.

  Next was a wheat field with a farm that felt familiar at first

  Before it was swept away and replaced

  With images of a village surrounded by a large wall.

  I grabbed my head to stop the rotation,

  But the action was unsuccessful.

  My mind had succumbed to a whirlwind of rapid visions,

  None of which I could relate to.

  They were embedded within my skull.

  They were separate from my original past.

  I would briefly contemplate the additions,

  But would always fall back on my travels to the hill

  Along with the painstaking journey up through the dense woods.

  Those ideas seemed natural to me

  In an almost comforting manner.

  They had more purpose than the words of a prophet

  That I had never met before.

  I opened my eyes and the vision went away,

  But Lucifer remained in front of me.

  He said he was there to offer me understanding and

  The opportunity to believe again.

  I knew of what he was trying to accomplish and

  I would fight him down every path that he took.

  He was a lost soul and he was trying to sway me from God.

  I had battled with his type in my homeland before and

  I would defend my beliefs in the name God.

  Was he resentful of my worship

  Or was he my vision from God?

  The one that I traveled so long to achieve?

  It did not seem fair that I journeyed

  Across the land only to acquire confusion and visions

  That I did not remember.

  For a moment, I assumed that the whole situation was a test.

  In order to receive my true vision,

  I would have to pass the judgment of God.

  I intended to do so and repositioned myself

  On the marble steps near Lucifer

  As a sign of good intention.

  He understood my frustration and

  Offered me kindness as I remained in a confused state.

  He said that it was astonishing how well

  I consumed the sin in each one of my tasks.

  I told him that I had never sinned

  As I was a prophet of God.

  I had dedicated my life to serving God and

  Preaching his words to those who chose to believe.

  He paused in his speech momentarily,

  Then asked me to let go of reality.

  My mind began to spiral once again with the visions,

  With more detail than before.

  Images of being a poor peasant and

  A blacksmith raced through me and appeared so real.

  I began to relate to the visions and

  Even offered a continuation of them

  With understanding and acknowledgment.

  I was remembering items that were not portrayed

  Such as an irrigation system and daggers.

  The visions still offered me no reasoning

  Or justification as to why they were there.

  Again, Lucifer said that he was there to help me remember.

  He was there to guide me through the last process of my task.

  His voice was soothing and relaxed the dreams.

  It brought them down to a reasonable pace.

  He rose up his hand and prompted

  Another prophet to enter into the monument.

  A very seductive woman holding two daggers

  Strolled across the center of the monument.

  I knew instantly who it was,

  However, I could not remember her name.

  Lucifer welcomed Amon to our meeting.

  I soon felt the harshness of society crashing upon me.

  The hatred for the wealthy and

  The disrespectful nature that they unleashed

  On the peasants funneled through my veins.

  Her smile was so beautiful and desirable,

  And yet it was the evilness that embodied her

  That made her irresistible.

  Her smell triggered my vengeful demeanor.

  I remembered looking into the eyes of my prey

  Moments before their death.

  I felt the power of stalking the wealthy,

  Defending the weak all over again.

  Society needed the fear that I provided.

  The wealthy needed to fear the rise of the shadows.

  They needed to realize that their level in society

  Meant nothing once the streets were filled with blackness.

  Lucifer raised his hand again and summoned another.

  I immediately recognized the man

  Who was dressed very similar to my guide.

  I could not recall his name,

  But Lucifer announced that his name was Mammon.

  The encounter assaulted me with visions

  Of both fear and pain as my arm became numb.

  I looked to Lucifer with a worried expression,

  All he told me was to remember.

  As Mammon got closer, the blackness in my arm grew stronger.

  My mind displayed a showcase of visions

  Involving carpentry, the plague, and a village of death.

  I remembered my dog and my shop, but more importantly

  I remembered the hatred that I had towards Mammon

  Who stole my arm and life.

  Visions of the mass graves that I created

  Churned in my stomach and siphoned my spirit.

  I offered two words to Lucifer,

  Which prompted the pain in my arm to subside.


  I remember.

  I remembered consuming the greed and

  Keeping the cure to myself.

  I remembered forcing all of those innocent people towards death.

  I felt their pity, but denied them remorse

  As I watched them die before me.

  They were not like me

  As I deserved to live.

  Lucifer asked about remorse of the sin.

  I felt sadness that I was not allowed

  To watch more of the creative effects of the plague take place.

  That was my only remorse.

  Mammon smirked at my words.

  I could smell the stench

  From the massive piles of the dead and

  Could feel the undesirable touches

  Of the mindless people as they reached out for me.

  Their disgusting bony, fleshless hands

  Clawed at me for help as I pushed them away.

  I had offered them peace and a place to die.

  If I had told them of my disease,

  They would have banished me from the village.

  My choice was less selfish,

  As I provided them with a coffin,

  Which proved to be quite an undertaking.

  Lucifer smiled as he gestured to Mammon to sit.

  I felt stronger after the encounter with him

  As if I had completed an obstacle of sorts.

  Lucifer was satisfied with my comments

  As he summoned for another visitor to appear.

  I was instantly bombarded with visions of wheat,

  Farmland and large oak trees.

  Lucifer announced the arrival of Belphegor.

  I felt that he was already my friend,

  It was somewhat odd at the time.

  As I studied his persona,

  I felt the warm breeze of the fields and

  Envisioned the humble abode of a farm.

  I remembered his creativity with the oak irrigation

  Felt the agony of laziness all at the same time.

  Lucifer prompted me to express my feelings.

  I accepted by saying that I should have

  Cut down the trees earlier when I was in the valley,