My rational thought would not allow it.
The earlier construction of the system
Would have allowed me to avoid work sooner.
Belphegor was so talented in his work ethic
That it was an easy choice to become lazy.
I rotated both of my wrists
As I remembered seeing one of my hands residing on a table.
I saw nothing wrong with living
Off of the strong values of others and
Would have continued reaping the rewards from the farm
If it were not for Belphegor leaving.
My work ethic was once strong,
But I was allowed to see the benefits of a restful mind and spirit.
I was gifted the opportunity to rely on others.
Over time the gift became a desire.
I reaped the benefits of others
While they reaped the wheat from the fields.
My only regret was that the farm
Was not established to prosper by itself.
With that process in place, I would have had the potential
Of stealing the profits for a longer period of time.
Lucifer interrupted my thoughts
By asking me how I felt.
I answered him honestly
That I felt great.
It was such a joy to be able to remember
As if a section of my mind had been reopened.
I still had confusion regarding the relation
Between the memories and
How they coincided with my life as a prophet.
Lucifer added that I was not a prophet,
But a prophecy was being written for me.
The statement confused me more, but
Before I was able to clarify,
He signaled for another person to come.
My memory was much stronger now.
I even was able to remember the name of the new visitor.
Beelzebub walked from between the columns.
A burst of freezing air barreled through the monument and
Provided me with vision of a blizzard.
A feeling of hoarding swelled within me as
I remembered stockpiling the food.
The people of city did not listen to the prophets’ warnings.
I should not have been blamed for their deaths as
They had the same opportunity for survival as I did.
I felt no pity on those who chose the path of death.
My storage of food was meant for my survival
Through the storm;
Through the duration of the aftermath.
Lucifer and Beelzebub smiled at my comments.
I wanted more memories as
I became anxious for my mind to be filled.
I felt as if I was reborn again.
The new thoughts that were being uncovered
Within my mind became addictive.
I even caught myself trying to remember memories
That were not even there
So that I could continue the feeling of recollection.
The wind carried with it
An aroma of my beloved maiden.
The essence that I inhaled
While being in her quarters carried me back
To the day that I treaded within the palace.
Asmodeus appeared from behind a marble pillar.
She greeted me with a warm smile.
Her friendly appearance and
Her eagerness to listen was a welcomed addition.
My maiden would never know how deep my love for her went.
She betrayed me by loving another while she loved me.
She kept her marriage secret from me
In order to not hurt me, but it was her lack of remembrance
For the love we had for one another that led to her death.
Her denial destroyed our prosperous relationship and
Allowed her to drift from me.
I could not forgive her and I could not allow her to live.
Maybe in her afterlife she would remember me and
What I had sacrificed for her.
She was an aura that surrounded me wherever I went.
She was my companion when I needed her,
My creativeness when I requested ideas.
She flowed within my veins and was
The source of life within my heart.
She was also the blackness within my soul and
The scars upon my flesh.
She was the cracks in my bones and
The torment within my mind.
She twisted my life and controlled my desires
When I offered them to her, she shunned away.
She did not love me as much as I loved her,
But I have her heart now and no one else would ever claim it.
Her love and heart will always remain mine and mine only.
She was my one true desire of which I will cherish forever.
From outside the vicinity of the monument,
I heard the faint sound of wooden wheels.
The sound pierced my ears and soothed my racing nerves.
It was so beautiful in its high pitch tone that
I could not help but think of a blacksmith shop.
The smell of ore with the heat of the flames
Seduced my emotions and calmed my soul.
My senses were overloaded and I did not want it to end.
The squeal of the wheels got louder as Leviathan
Entered into the middle of the monument pulling a wagon.
The sight brought me back to my shop where
I eagerly waited for him to deliver the next batch of ore.
The exhilaration I endured when seeing
A full cargo of the high quality ore was too much for words.
My resentful spirit did not want
The other blacksmith to obtain the ore
Even though it was his.
I wanted to cleanse his mine and
Claim it as my own.
Knowing that he had the ore
After my banishment set my blood on fire.
The idea guided me down a path of corruption and revenge.
I sat there in the center of the monument
With Lucifer and six other friends from my past.
With everyone gathered and no one else to summon,
Lucifer stood and walked around the circular marbled structure.
He once again spoke of how my interactions
With sin were successful and that
God himself was pleased with me.
He said that my transcriptions were accurate
And related closely to my emotions.
With my memories reborn,
He believed that I was ready to receive my past life as well.
My confusion grew slightly
Until a memory deep within my mind
Crept forward to reveal a farm in a small valley.
The vision was beautiful to behold.
At first I did not recall the image,
But as I dwelled deeper into the concept,
I began to remember.
The vision was of my farm.
My emotions immediately prompted me to weep.
It was not sin.
It was not someone else’s wheat field,
Blacksmith shop, cottage, city underground
Or vendor shop; it was simply real.
It was the first memory that did not confuse me
Nor offer me a stomach churning outcome.
It was merely my memory.
I saw the goats and other livestock roaming the nearby fields.
The comfort that I felt soothed me beyond belief.
It saved me from the horrible ideology
That Lucifer was portraying.
At that moment,
Nothing else mattered to me,
But the return of my one true memory.
I held tight to it and observed ev
ery little aspect.
From the colors of the trees
To the temperature of the warm breeze.
I did not know what Lucifer had planned for me next,
But I was not going to let go of my farm.
A sensation of happiness came over me
That I had obviously not felt in a long period of time.
It was overwhelming and I did not care
What I must have looked like to the others who were there.
All of the previous visions Lucifer provided for me
Brought about negative intentions,
But the revelation of my farm was different.
It gifted me with simple pleasure and contentment.
While I still swam in my sea of joy,
Lucifer announced that he had gifted me
With my life’s memory so that
I could truly interpret the path in which I intend to take.
At that point, my mind was contemplating
Everything that had recently bombarded it.
I sat back down amid the group and
Did not know what to think
As my mind became a blank canvas with thoughts and ideas.
Lucifer stated that I had been given
A great task from God.
I had met his expectations,
But the Lord required one more choice from me.
My nerves began to twitch
As I looked to each of the party members and
The pain that they had caused me.
What more did God want from me?
My life had already been stolen and replaced with sinful thoughts.
Lucifer continued by saying
That he was also like the others and
That he too represented sin.
He tightened his arms as massive
Darkened wings extended from his back.
His posture changed to be more comfortable
As if he had broken from a confined molding.
He said that he too was a demon serving God.
That he too was sent to me with a task in mind.
I looked to him with caution in my eyes as
I was able to understand that sin was once again approaching.
The others tempted me into sin and
I was not aware until the deed was completed.
Lucifer, on the other hand, foretold his intentions and
Allowed me to properly think on my own
Without the influence of riches or power.
He did not try to overpower me
With twisted words or demented beliefs.
He made me believe that he and I were equal.
I wanted to relieve him of his task
As he had been so kind to me.
He said that it was time
To make my final choice in the eyes of God.
The clouds began to swirl overhead.
I believed that God was watching me.
Any other person would have been intimidated,
But I was not.
I was confident in my past decisions.
I was even more confident that I would serve God
In Lucifer’s task as well.
The final demon stated that my choice
Would seal my fate and forge my destiny.
He continued to say that there are now two paths
Leading from the monument.
One would take me to my farmland,
The other would send me back to my cavernous cell
To complete my journey with God.
The decision instantly infested
My rational thought and devoured my dreams.
He added that one path would deny
My past sinful decisions and
Allow me to live a common life
That would end in a common death.
The other path would allow me to take pride
In my sins and allow me to become immortal
While continuing to serve God.
I quickly became intimidated
By both Lucifer and God
As they awaited my choice.
By far, that was the most difficult decision I had to make.
All of the others failed in comparison
To the pressure being provided by the heavens.
I thought about each option.
My farm gifted me with the most comfort,
But the reality of life that would end in death
Did not appease me.
Whereas the trait of immortality
Was associated with the other choice.
One would allow me to live my own life
While the other had me be a servant to God.
I reflected upon my acts of sin
While I gazed to each of the associated participants.
They were each unique and highly skillful
In their tasks that my respect for them was abundant.
I looked deep into their eyes.
They did not try to persuade me anymore or tempt me.
They merely offered me a smile now.
I took that gesture as a sign of faith that they had in me.
A faith that I would make the right decision.
Each one of my encounters with them
Ended with betrayal, but it was not betrayal by them
That I experienced.
I had betrayed myself by accepting their temptations.
They merely provided me with an alternate path.
Not one of them forced me into a decision.
Not one of them made the choice for me.
I was disloyal to myself in each scenario and
Realized my weakness for sin.
I had made the choice of sin,
Most without hesitation.
It was my destiny.
To not sin was never an option for me.
My mind sought out the notion and allowed my body
To postpone through confusion and disagreement.
My mind would always conquer in the end.
I must follow my mind in my new task as well.
It was useless of me to deny my fate
As it was already written for me.
I just needed to accept it.
I stood proud for the first time in my life
As I looked up the heavens.
The clouds continued to twirl and dance around beautifully.
God had already known what choice I was going to make.
The others stood and joined Lucifer
With each of their eyes fixated on me.
They knew my answer
Before I even took the first step on one of the paths.
They could see it in my eyes.
They could see it in my mannerisms.
They all welcomed me to my new destiny
With an appreciation of what I had accomplished.
I now felt a part of them with every breath that I took.
I had the wrath from Amon,
The greed from Mammon,
The sloth from Belphegor,
The gluttony from Beelzebub,
The lust from Asmodeus,
The envy from Leviathan
And the pride from Lucifer
All flowing freely through my veins.
They were my shadowy friends within my cave
Who protected me and guided me along my journey.
They kept me company when I was lonely.
They kept me forward thinking on my task when I retreated.
They never let me stray from the course.
Their task was to deliver their respective sin,
Display it before my eyes and they did so admirably.
They each broke my will
In order for me to truly understand myself and
Consider freedom in the eyes of God.
Each provided me with necessary pain
That weakened me to the point of death.
I know now that it had to occur.
How else would I embrace my po
wer
If I did not lose all ambitions and strength?
Only then would I be able to appreciate
What was now bestowed upon me from the heavens above.
My veins were pulsating with energy.
I could hear the thoughts of my fellow comrades.
They were pleased with me as their leader.
Lucifer kneeled and bowed to me.
Prompting the others to follow closely behind him.
I felt the power of God running through my veins,
Draining me of my mortal life.
The visions of my farmland
Were overshadowed by the feeling of being reborn.
Lightning from the heaviest of clouds
Streamed through the skies
As if they were wild horses released from a cage.
I had completed the six tasks portrayed to me and
Gained God’s acceptance.
The only chore left was to walk the path
That I had chosen and complete the seventh duty.
Empowered and full of life,
I walked slowly from the center of the monument
Between the marble columns where the two paths resided.
My comrades stood and watched me leave.
Each of them in their thoughts
Offered me a swift return and precise judgment.
I walked away from the monument
Until I came to a split in the path.
The crossroads served as my last chance
Before my destiny took hold of me.
The seven demons had put so much faith into me that
I could not live with myself if I let them down.
God alone believed in me even
Through the toughest of trials,
He never altered his opinion of me.
I looked down the path to the right and
Saw the faint vision of my farmland
Complete with full livestock and vegetation.
The image was serene and gifted me with a comfort
That none could compare with.
I imagined the peace that would come
With my farm and the tranquility
The surrounding environment would provide,
But I realized that the farm was not truly mine.
The Sinner Page 25