Its sole purpose was to grant me with a safe haven
Until God requested my service.
I did not own the farm or the animals in which I cared for.
They were all depictions supplied by God.
They neither enhanced my mind
Nor benefited my character.
The farm was more of a prison than the cave
And offered me less satisfaction over time.
The vegetation and animals all belonged to God.
I had no claim to them;
They only served to distract my judgment
As I awaited my destiny.
I required everything from the farm.
It gave me nothing but shallow memories of a past life
That I did not understand.
It was merely a play and I was the actor portraying God’s script.
I could not return to my slumbering life
Of false ideas and unknowing thoughts.
How would I live?
With my friend of misery and partner of denial?
I had traveled too far with a mind
That was inflicted and altered against the shape of sin.
Sin was my only guide now.
It took many encounters and choices in order to realize that.
Peace was not something that I felt within my experience.
To view the restful scene of the farm
Was as if I was looking through a dense forest
To find a wandering deer.
I could not understand serenity now;
I could not understand a life of tranquility.
To live in peace was to deny sin.
To deny sin was everything against who I now was.
I had embraced temptation with every demon.
My grip on sin was tight now and
I could not let it fall
Even for the most precious vision of my past life.
It was a part of me now and I was a part of it.
I could not entrap sin within my soul and deny its exit.
Doing so would destroy it.
Sin was now my burden to carry; my burden to protect.
Denying it would not benefit either of us.
It feeds from me like a child to a mother and
I will provide for it like a father to a son.
It was the one true relic that I possess now.
I will cherish it always and never leave its side
As it was a personal token from God.
I imagined my wisdom and courage would be tested.
When that occurs I would rely on my friend
To pull me from depression and
Guide me through the storms of confusion.
I will feed it my emotions and
Allow it to devour my soul in order for it to grow and prosper.
My farm served as my past life,
One that helped me through my darkest hours
Within the cave and for that I am always thankful.
I disregarded the path with respect and
Grasped the creativity of the landscape to enhance my fate.
I looked down the left path and saw my dirt infested cave
Along with my trusty quill, stack of papers
And the lone candle that provided me with protection.
The cave served as my alteration,
My draining of the old to create room for the new.
The cave broke me as a man,
But developed me as something much more.
The torment was often too much for me to handle,
I know now why it had to occur.
The paths were completely different in their outcomes.
As I stood at the threshold of the crossroads,
I felt sin conjuring within me.
All of the desires that I needed pulled at my temptations.
I could not resist them as they were a part of me now.
The rebellion that occurred within me
While standing at the gate of decision
Surpassed my capability of thought.
My comrades were calling me.
God was calling me; sin was calling me.
My past life was not.
I looked down the right path once more.
I saw that the vision of my farmland was fading.
It was growing weak both in imagery and within my mind.
Before it disappeared, I captured a small portion
That I would secure in my soul.
The goats that I so loved and admired
Would be carried with me always.
With that in place, I let my farm slip away
As the path sealed up and was no longer an option.
The left path with its unpredictable
Attitude and rotating vision lured me.
What awaited me at the end of the path was unknown,
But that was what I admired about it.
I grew accustomed to the confusion and
Chaotic nature of my sinful world.
The continuation of such a place would be a blessing.
While looking down the lone road,
I saw my cavernous dwelling in the horizon.
The place that I hated had become a visionary feast for my eyes;
A blessing in disguise.
I longed to feel the warmth of the candle and
The security of the quill within my hands.
With one foot I chose my destiny.
It served as my first step towards my immortality;
The continuation of my service to God.
I no longer was a lone farmer.
I no longer had a home to call my own.
My home was with God; my life was with God.
I walked down the path
With full confidence in my choice as
I believed it was the only outcome.
After all that I had experienced and seen
In my trials of sin, I could not justify living a regular life again.
My mind was damaged and beyond correction.
I envisioned trying to live a normal life,
The ideology of sin always showed the darker side of me.
I would have died a man with a heart full of sin and
God would not have been pleased with me.
In order to control the sin, I had to live a life
Where I could focus all of my attention towards it.
I would feed the sin as if it were my pet and
Allow it to run free in my surroundings.
The path proved to be longer
Than I had imagined with plenty of twists and turns.
The slow process of the journey
Provided me an opportunity to reflect upon myself and
All that I had recently remembered.
The reality that Lucifer had granted me
Released my soul and I had finally felt content.
I did not recall ever feeling so alive
In either of my life situations.
I believed God required more reassurance
Of my choice as the path soon entered
A valley where my farm resided.
I stopped and looked to my farm not with sorrow,
But with happiness
That it would always be a part of my memories;
That I could travel to it whenever I so desired.
The rolling fields would always
Be lush and green in my vision,
The trees would always sway in the wind.
I had captured the scenery deep within my mind
Where no one but me would be able to retrieve it.
Regardless of what my destiny had for me,
I would always remember
Where I had come from and the tragedies
I endured along the way.
I know God allowed me to cherish my farm
As a gift for my good deeds.
For that I would always be thankful.
A single goat roamed the nearby field.
; It ran to me when I caught her eye.
She was not afraid of me or my touch.
Her presence humbled me and pulled
At the small amount of emotions that I had left.
I turned from her and continued to walk.
God wanted me to remain modest and
Keep a few sentiments as he allowed
The goat to break free from my vision and become real.
Followed closely by my new friend,
I walked further down the path.
I soon encountered a wealthy man
Dressed in extravagant clothing.
His lifeless body was butchered by two blades
Protruding from his chest as he lied upon a pile of gold coins.
With no hesitation, I pulled at the daggers.
I believed that his cadaver was no home for such artifacts.
I cleansed the blades with his silk robe and took them.
Traveling further, I arrived at a large wooden wall
Littered with skeletons of the dead.
The vision did not startle me
Although the goat was a little intimidated.
I felt the wall that I had constructed and
Offered it no sorrow as to why it was erected.
Upon the ground was the empty vial
I grabbed the vial and left the vision behind.
My journey led me through two wheat fields
Being replenished with the oak irrigation system.
While walking, I ran my hand along
The grains of the wood and dipped my fingers
Into the cool stream of water.
I paused for a moment to allow for the goat to drink
And noticed a small slither of wood lying upon the ground.
I turned over the relic and saw the etching of a lion.
The artifact was to come with me,
I gathered it up and continued to walk.
The weather turned snowy and windy,
However, I did not feel the effects.
The path was covered with snow, and ice
Crystallized the trees on either side.
I came to several frozen corpses
Who were desperately trying to retrieve apples from a tree.
Their extended arms were frost bitten and a deep hue of blue.
Their painful expressions and starvation
Were sealed perfectly upon their faces.
Only one frozen apple resided on the tree.
I easily plucked it from its limb and continued on my way.
I followed the path as it led me around a bend
Towards two bloody, beating hearts lying on a bed of roses.
The scene conjured up a heavy dosage of love within my veins.
My heart pounded with emotion
As butterflies soared within my stomach.
I picked up a single red rose and continued on my way.
The path soon wrapped around the base of a large mountain.
The smell of fresh ore filled the air and carried me further.
I came across a barren wagon on the side of the path.
The back was all but empty except for a small piece of ore.
The symbol was beautiful in my hand and even made me smile.
Up a hill I traveled and at the summit was the marble monument.
I weaved in and out of the marble columns
Allowing my hands to glide over their smooth surfaces.
I halted when I felt an alteration in one of the columns.
A small portion of one of the columns was cracked.
Upon further investigation,
A chip of marble fell from its abode and into my hand.
I looked up to the clouds and offered a smile to God.
Armed with a relic from each of my memories,
I proceeded further into the unknown and
Edged along deep trenches and vast underground caverns
Led only by the hazy light of torches that aligned my path.
The dusty environment offered very little visibility,
But the closeness of the rocky walls
Allowed for me to funnel along.
The small tunnel exited
Into a wide cavern where a river resided.
The path took me onto a wooden bridge
That spanned the width of the river
And allowed me safe travel to the other side.
The turbulent current of the water was unpredictable.
It often violently shifted without warning.
The crests of the waves appeared to battle
One another for dominance of the current.
With no wind or environmental powers controlling the waves,
The river was just mystically upset.
The brutal shifting water followed me
With every step that I took upon the bridge.
Every sounding creak that the wooden planks
Made awoke more of the waves
Until I found myself dodging their onslaught.
I was concerned about the sturdiness of the bridge
As it began to get bullied by the river.
The splintered construction offered no resistance;
The rope handles provided no support.
I had to rely on the uneasy balance of my legs
To avoid being swallowed by the blackened water.
I was very content to be off of the bridge and
Away from the shoreline of the river.
The howls of the bloody current
Echoed through the cavern and followed me
For quite some time before finally fading
Into the shifting sounds of the rocky walls.
I continued on through a few well lit tunnels
And soon came to a small crevice.
The darkness of the crack prompted me
To seek out a torch, but I could not retrieve any.
I tried several of them, but either my strength was not enough
Or I was simply not given permission to carry them.
I was not excited about entering into the crevice
Without a light source as the sheer darkness
Inside was tormenting and belittling me.
I felt it laughing at me and testing my courage.
Much like a wild animal observing its prey
For a sign of weakness that could be used against it,
The split in the wall was studying me.
In a sign of fear, the crevice spilled
Its darkness upon me as if it was vomiting on me.
I gave no physical reaction in return
So that I would not appear afraid.
Apparently, I passed the test as
The darkness gradually crept back inside.
A moan of dissatisfaction exited as I shielded my eyes.
I smiled at the challenge in an almost conquering demeanor.
It was important for me to show the confidence in myself,
Which had been building throughout my journey.
I touched the outer wall of the crevice
To calm its nerves and reassure it that
I was just passing through.
My foot disappeared as I took a step into the darkness.
The blackness was unlike anything I had seen before.
My vision was useless and forced me
To rely on my sense of awareness.
Instead of wandering around aimlessly
With my arms extended outwards,
I closed my eyes and inhaled the darkness.
I felt it flowing through my body and filtering through my heart.
I did not resist it;
I allowed it to become one with me.
I allowed it to befriend me no matter
What physical cost it wanted from me.
The darkness left no portion of me untouched
Both externally and internally.
Every organ, every vein and every bone
Was observed and devoured.
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After I felt the darkness exit me,
I opened my eyes and could see.
My vision was improved.
I held up my hand to touch the entity of dark.
My act of kindness was well perceived
As a howling breeze surrounded me.
Exiting out of the crevice
I found myself in a narrow cavern
With a dirt path winding between two rivers of fire.
The rivers spit flames high up into the air.
As I walked along the path,
I realized that the fire was celebrating.
Sparks flew within the air in a joyful spirit of happiness.
At a certain height, the sparks fizzled out
Leaving behind a cloud of smoke.
The illuminations ignited the cavern walls and
Bled the rocks with a red haze.
The scene was inspiring and beautiful to behold.
I had gained the respect of the water,
The darkness and now the flame.
Each one I offered my full respect in return.
I treated them as if they were each my offspring.
I held up my palms and allowed sparks to dance upon my skin.
They leaped back and forth from each hand
In a playful pattern that formed a smile upon my face.
I did not force their departure from me;
Instead I allowed them to decide how long
They wished to accompany me as I walked.
They soon leaped from me and rejoined the others in the fire.
The next cavern I came to was a circular land mass
That rose up in the middle to create a small hill.
Atop was a plateau with seven marble-lined pits
That dove deep into the middle of the environment.
I knew what the hill wanted me to do.
I knew what it desired;
The sacrifice of my relics that I had collected.
One by one I dropped the artifacts into a respected pit.
I showed no hesitation, no remorse and
No self-doubt when unleashing my grip.
I banished the memories into the belly of the beast and
Unburdened myself from their clutches.
They no longer tempted me with sorrow;
The Sinner Page 26