We both laugh knowing she’s full of shit as the attempted imitation of me continues, but all I want to do is pull her in close to me because she’s so damn cute and feisty.
The kid starts laughing at Braunwyn’s gruff impersonation of me. I catch Emme’s eye.
“Braunwyn sounds just like me, doesn’t she?” I ask the kid.
“No. She sounds like she has a cold.”
I chuckle, agreeing with her, then turn back to Braun.
“Yeah, right. You not argue with me? I don’t believe that for a minute. Liar.” I mouth, adding a wink for good measure. Yeah, you drive me crazy too, baby. Then I sink down to meet the little girl whom I assume is Braun’s sister, who is checking out the decorations I have set up along the porch and sticking her finger in one of the pumpkin’s carved eyes.
“So, Happy Halloween. I’m Levi. Would you like to choose your candy, honey?” I ask, presenting the bowl with a flourish.
“I can pick, Mommy?” She looks up at Braun and I can’t hide the look of shock which overtakes my face. “Mommy”?
“She’s…yours?” stumbles awkwardly out of my mouth, as if I’m an idiot. But I already know the answer to my own question; an answer my gut knew without having to be told. I knew it the minute I saw them standing there. I just didn’t want to subconsciously let myself acknowledge the fact that there is another man in Braunwyn’s life, one who will always hold a special spot as the father of her child. One who’s not me.
The thought both pisses me off, and scares me at the same time. Fuck. I want to ask a couple hundred questions right now. I never saw a ring on her finger, so maybe she just lives with the father and, I guess…Grams? Or maybe he doesn’t live with them at all? Or is out of the picture? After all, no dude has ever come around the bar looking for her, and no boyfriend in his right mind would have let her take the bus by herself so late at night like that. Naw, this guy might not have a spot in her bed, but having a child is a pretty intimate adventure. I’m not sure with my type of personality I could let myself contend with another man in our lives. Our lives? Even if I wanted to, I don’t think it’s in me. I have so many questions swirling in my mind right now I feel myself reeling. Are you close? Does Emme visit him? Do you all hang out? Do you still fuck? What the fuck, how did I miss this? A kid!
“Of course you can choose, baby,” Braunwyn smiles with a nod that’s just as much for her daughter as it is for me. “Yes, Levi. This is Emmerson, my daughter. She’s four-and-a-half.”
“She’s beautiful, Scrappy, just like you,” I say, as an overwhelming sensation takes over. I want nothing more than to know all there is about this woman standing before me. The questions hammer in my mind as I take the idea in. How did I not know about Emmerson?
I stand there in shock watching this sweet little girl and her mother as they discuss which candy she should pick. All I want to do is give her the whole damn bowl if it will make her smile bright like her mom. I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now watching them. I thought we were friends? How could she not tell me? She doesn’t trust me—at all? How do I feel about this? All I know is, fuck me, do I ever want answers and thankfully it’s as if someone is on my side and hearing my inner thoughts because what Emmerson says next is music to my ears.
“Mommy, I hafta go pee pee.” She looks to Braun, who looks hesitantly to me. I immediately turn to Emmerson.
“Well, I just happen to have a bathroom right inside the door here, Scooby.” I gesture behind me and smile before allowing Emmerson and Braunwyn to pass.
“Who’s ‘Scooby’? I’m Emmerson,” she says, looking around all confused, and I laugh at how fucking cute she is. I show her to the washroom, flicking the light on and seeing Braunwyn rolling her eyes, clearly unimpressed with the name I’ve given her daughter.
“You don’t know who Scooby is? Well, Scooby just happens to be the coolest cartoon ever, and you kind of reminded me of him ’cause of how excited you got for the Halloween candy, like it was your Scooby Snack.”
“Scooby Snack. Is that wike a treat?” Emmerson looks at me totally confused, poor kid; I just assumed she’d know Scooby-Doo. Don’t kids watch the good ones anymore?
“I tell you what. While you’re in there, I’ll set up my TV so I can show you exactly who Scooby is. Sound good?” She nods her head before closing the door.
“Just call if you need me, Emme. Scooby-Doo and Scrappy too, eh?” Braun says, looking at me and shaking her head.
“What? You’re your own little team. It fits,” I shrug. “Come on, can’t have Scrappy without Scooby, I think it’s perfect.
“Oh yeah?” She shakes her head, attempting to hide her smirk. “Calling me argumentative again?”
“Nah, more like beautiful laced with a hint of feistiness, just enough to drive the rest of us wild,” I whisper, eyes locked on hers. Fuck, she’s pretty. Looking over at me, Braunwyn gives me one of those smiles I crave as much as I’ve been craving more time with her, especially since the last time at the bar.
We haven’t really seen each other since that day. She actually called in sick the following two shifts, so other than a few text messages, we haven’t had a chance to talk face-to-face in over a week.
I catch her taking me in. She doesn’t realize she’s doing it, but I sure as hell do. I clear my throat and startle her, causing her cheeks to flush at being caught.
“Can I say I’m glad you’re here right now, friend?” I ask, looking at her for the first time since they got here. Taking her in fully from head-to-toe, I suddenly feel my pants get that bit tighter. Jesus, what the hell is she wearing? All I see is yellow tight perfection.
“Holy shit, Scrappy, you sure that’s a kid’s costume?” I ask, taking in the hottest Minion I’ve ever seen in my life. “Jesus, Braunwyn. I’m driving you guys home later. Know that right now. It’s what a responsible friend should do, so save the trying to argue about it. It’s happening,” I add, getting it out of the way now. No way in hell is she going back out in that outfit without me. She snorts while blushing at my words.
“Levi, it’s a costume. It’s Halloween. There’s nothing wrong with it.” She gestures her hand down the front of herself. “Plus we still have a few houses to hit. I can handle it, I mean we’ve already done a bunch of houses and, shockingly enough, we’ve survived to tell the tale. So calm down, Captain Caveman. You are not driving us home.”
Stubborn woman. We’ll see, baby, we’ll see.
“Fuck that, Braun. Emmerson can have all my candy. It looks like she’s got a pretty good haul, already. Besides you need to stay and explain some things to me,” I speak tenderly, moving in closer and eating up some of the existing space between us. Space I know Braunwyn doesn’t necessarily want either, because she keeps shifting slightly forward as we talk. Almost as if she’s the one trying to mend the gap.
“You need to talk to me, Braun. I think I deserve to know some answers, yeah? Sure maybe not all, but at least some, okay?” I continue to hold her gaze, raking my eyes over her, still not believing she’s actually here.
“Okay,” she whispers back while focusing on my mouth. God, she drives me crazy. I’m just about to close the final gap when Scooby’s voice comes echoing in, right on time.
“Mooommmmyyyyaaahhhh, I need help. I stuck,” Emmerson calls, and Braunwyn moves past me without hesitation to tend to her daughter.
I head to the living room, turn on the TV and find the Cartoon Network in the On Demand section. I queue an episode of Scooby-Doo and feel a little wave of nerves hit me, having both girls in my home.
What the hell I’m I getting myself into. A kid?
Chapter 21
Braunwyn
“Coming, sweetheart,” I call, as I brush past Levi.
God, I love the way he looks at me. I thought he was going to make a move; I’m torn as to whether I wanted him to or not. The better part of me whispers “yes, yes, you sure did,” while the minority revolts at the idea of allowing myself to get caught up in
the one thing I know can hurt me the most again. No men, Braun.
I walk in the bathroom to help a tangled Emmerson, her yellow tights all twisted up, causing her to have both feet in the same leg. I laugh as we work to fix her.
“Mommy, can we stay for a wittle bit? I wanna see the Scooby.”
“Sure we can, baby. I think you’ll like Scooby. He’s a very loyal and loveable dog.”
“A DOG!” she yells. “I wove dogs!”
“And this one is pretty funny too. There, all fixed. You head on out, I’m just going to use the washroom as well.”
“Okay, Mommy. Can I go find Levi? I like him, he let me pick my candy. And gave me extras.”
This is hard. I would never have let them meet so soon. Opening the door, I speak loud enough for Levi to hear. “Okay, you head on out and find Levi, I’ll be out in a sec. Go see if he’s got Scooby ready.” With that, I’m given a big leg hug before she runs along. I watch her round the corner before shutting the door behind me again so I can regroup, so I can breathe.
Levi makes me want…things. But can I safely allow myself to reach out and take them, even when they’re right in front of me? I’ve been doing fine without a boyfriend, but Emmerson has never had a man in her life. Like, ever, other than London’s brother, Linden, and he’s barely around. She’s never asked about her dad, and I’m not really sure if I’m ready for that day.
And then London’s words about a “male role model” for Emme ring in my ears, and I think: I did promise to put myself out there more this year, to push myself out of my comfort zone. Maybe it’s time to let a man come a little closer; maybe it’s time to let Levi come a little closer. If he wants in, that is. As a friend. But could a man like this want something so broken?
*
It feels like I’ve been hiding in the bathroom much too long, getting my emotions in check.
I make my way down the grey- and navy-painted hall toward the voices of Levi and Emme. I pause outside the threshold of the living room, surrounded by a hallway full of photos which show that Levi has always been a hottie, and more importantly, close to his family. Listening to Levi talk to Emmerson over the crazy cartoon sound-effects, my heart swells, seeing her so excited and talking so animatedly to a possible new friend.
“Oh, Levi, Scooby-Doo is so funny! I wove my name. Can I always be called ‘Scooby’ from now on?” I hear her ask, and I stifle a laugh, waiting to see what he comes up with as an answer.
“I tell you what. How about we keep it a secret name for just us?”
“Like a special club?”
He laughs and my heart beats a bit harder at the sweet way he’s interacting with my little girl. “Exactly like that. It’s just a special one for you and me. No-one else is allowed to use our names.”
“Okay, Shaggy. I wove the idea,” she says and stands up to pat the top of his head. Levi chuckles while he offers to show her another episode.
“Can I come in too, and join the club?” I ask.
“Of course. All secret clubs need two special ladies,” Levi says, grinning. “Come sit with us, Scrappy.”
“‘Scrappy’? Who’s Scrappy, Shaggy? I didn’t see him yet. Did I?” Emme asks, and without further ado, Levi finds an episode and introduces Emmerson to Scrappy Doo. From that moment on, I guess you could say we became our own secret club complete with nicknames and a new favourite show. I have a feeling that these characters just might replace the Minions in Emme’s heart.
Eventually, Emmerson passes out on the couch sandwiched between us, after what seems like hours of Scooby-Doo episodes. She loved it. The whole time she asked questions, going so far as asking if we could go to the toy store to buy a Scooby stuffy. We decide to move her from the couch into Levi’s spare bedroom so he and I can talk without waking her. Scooping her up, I smile, looking at her heavy and relaxed limbs. I think there was way too much excitement for my Little Miss today.
Once back in the living room, I sit beside Levi on the couch. We shift at the same time, both needing to face the other to better talk.
“Again, Levi, I’m sorry about the other day. I freaked and I hid. I owe you better, I was wrong to leave like that. Thank you for not firing me.”
“Never. Whatever happens or doesn’t happen, I’d never take your job away. Sure, I’m an ass, but I’m reasonable…sometimes. I just like getting my way is all. I’m still convinced I got a shot at getting it too.” He eyes me, leaving no room to mistake what he’s implying.
“You do, eh? I thought maybe we could stick to trying out the friendship bit, that is, if my kid won’t cramp your style,” I joke.
“Naw, she’s super cute. We’re buds now, you can’t separate us. Mystery Incorporated for life!” He pounds his heart with a fist, causing us both to burst into laughter.
Levi clears his throat, and reaches for a sip of water before continuing, “I had fun tonight. I’m over the other night. Honest. I was shocked for sure; I was worried, but you calling me made it better. I’m just grateful you’re not pissed at me. I shouldn’t have done that at work,” he pauses, “and I mean that to be clear. I don’t regret it happening, I simply regret that it happened there and not here where we could have maybe talked sooner.”
I sigh. “I’m just not ready, Levi. I need more time. I liked what happened too, I do—”
He cuts me off before I have a chance to finish. “No, you’re not ready. For whatever reasons, you can’t right now and that’s okay,” he says, rubbing the back of his hand down my cheek, and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’m going to wait for you, Braun. We’re gonna make a pact, and we’re going to become the best of friends until the time comes for you to want more. ’Cause I know I definitely want more with you.” He puts his hand out in front of me, smiling sheepishly. “Friends? And not the kind that aren’t into each other, because we both know the truth here.”
I extend my hand to meet his. “Yes, friends. I’d like that,” I beam, meeting his smile with my own.
“Agree to this, a new game for us: you know how to play euchre?”
“Yeeeaaahhh…” I draw it out, not getting where he’s going with this at all.
“We’ll be the kind of friends that have a trump card; one that can be used anytime to trump the friendship card right the fuck off the table. We’ll call it the ‘Trump Pact’. If we decide we want more, we’ll trump the friendship.”
On the inside, I’m melting into a huge puddle of girlie-goo, into a pool of Oh My God, Did That Just Happen? Of course, I don’t tell Levi how much I love his idea.
“You’re crazy, you know that, right? I don’t know if I can commit to being friends with someone so unstable. Ha! A ‘Trump Pact.’” I shake my head, watching as what looks like embarrassment creeps its way across Levi’s face. “Just kidding!” I shout, laughing out loud. Fish sticks and fries, I love the way this “human” makes me feel so alive. “This works. I am the queen of themed-everything, you wait and see. And Emmerson is the theme princess. You may just live to regret this friendship after all,” I grin.
“Not a chance, Scrappy. Not a chance in hell.” He squeezes my knee.
We spent the rest of the night talking openly, and I apologized for keeping Emmerson a secret. We didn’t discuss Shawn, I’m not prepared for that yet, and he didn’t ask. I could tell he wanted to ask about who Emme’s father was, but for some reason he held back, and for that I was grateful. I need to build up my trust before I share that part of myself with him. It’s been a long time since I trusted anyone other than Grams and London, so for me to have even stayed so long at Levi’s like we did is huge.
When Levi drives us home, he carries a passed-out Emmerson into Grams’ house. Despite my initial protest, I let him. It was too darn cute of a moment not to allow myself watch. I’ve never experienced such a thing, never had a man around to help with such a simple thing as carrying her after she’s fallen asleep, it’s only ever been me. It’s nice. Almost “trump-worthy”.
Maybe Shawn re
ally is responsible for bringing us Levi?
Chapter 22
Levi
The smell of the best popcorn of life—movie theatre popcorn—is killing me. My Saturday afternoon wastes away as I wait impatiently in this ridiculously long line. A line that’s only serving to piss me off. For fuck sakes it’s Saturday, where are all the staff?
I decided to tag along with Ryker and Kat this afternoon before hitting dinner and drinks with Finn and the guys afterward. Yet somehow, despite this being the only day off I’ve taken this month, my mind keeps trying to head back to work.
So far, taking a bit more time off hasn’t been as hard as I thought; I made the right decision offering Luke more responsibilities. It’s given me time to hang out with my buddies as well as Braun and Scooby.
Being the proverbial “third wheel” has never bothered me before. Like I give a shit who goes with us and where. I’m of the “the more the merrier” school of thought, and seeing as it was “The Avengers”, I knew Kat and Ryk didn’t give a shit either. It’s not like it was some sappy romcom.
But lately I’ve been wondering what it might be like to have someone to join me for stuff like this, someone around for more than one night. Don’t think the irony of the timing of the beautiful Braunwyn Daniels stepping into my life a few weeks ago is lost on me either—because it’s not. I find myself thinking of her more and more often, out of the blue, but often at times like these where I think it might be good if she were here with me. And fuck me if I don’t love getting to know sweet little Scooby, also.
I have yet to ask about Emmerson’s father. I can’t really explain it, but it’s as if I don’t want to hear about him at all. Maybe this is what jealousy feels like. Which is crazy, because there’s no way I want an instafamily…shit, do I? All I know at this point is that after spending more time with those Daniels girls, I think it’s time I try to make my intentions clearer with Braunwyn, my intention to shout fucking “trump” every single time we’re together.
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