The Watcher

by Jean, Rhiannon

  “Rosy will be right with you, Miss Lily. Have a great time.”

  “Thank you Mr…” I paused waiting for his name.

  “Willis, ma’am, but my friends call me Willie.”

  “Well thank you so much Mr. Willie,” I smiled warmly at him. I had so many questions I was dying to ask, but held them back for another time.

  Who exactly was Gabriel that afforded me VIP access and treatment? I looked around, taking in my surroundings. The ceiling had that typical Chicago look of exposed pipes, all painted black. The carpeting was the color of a deep red wine, and the bar area was a beautiful cherry stained wood. I drank everything in, noticing how this was the perfect seat, not too close to the stage, not front and center. I looked at the little “reserved” card on the table and sighed. ‘Who is actually this thoughtful?’ I wondered. I had never met a man who thought of all the little details. I thought back to last night and the knife he had held at my attacker’s throat and a hint of excitement shot through me. I realized I had no idea who Gabriel was or what I had gotten myself into.

  A cute little blond with spiky hair bounced up to me. All the servers were dressed head to toe in black pants and dress shirts, but she had spiced things up with a quirky pink and white plaid bow tie.

  She smiled broadly at me and said, “What can I get ya Miss Lily?” This had to be Rosy. She was adorable and I instantly liked her. I stuck out my hand and introduced myself properly and she looked taken aback.

  I smiled and said, “You know my name, it’s only fair.”

  She laughed and said, “I guess so, name’s Rosy.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you Rosy. I’d love another shot of Jameson, chaser of Coke, and some sparkling water over ice, please.”

  “Sure thing, love!” Oh and did I mention both Rosy and the bartender from the coatroom had British accents? How freakin’ fun was this place!

  She quickly returned with my drinks and a basket of pretzels to munch on. The lights flickered and the crowd found their way to their seats. The bar lights lowered even further and I impatiently waited for a glimpse of him. I was hoping there was no opening act, I wanted to see my Gabriel as soon as possible. Whoa, girl, your Gabriel? ‘Slow it down!’ my brain said. Sigh, I should probably listen to it for once, right?

  And then there he was, perched on the stool on stage, bathed in a small spotlight. Gone was the hoodie I’d grown accustomed to. Instead, he was wearing a fitted vintage t-shirt, dark blue ripped jeans, and combat boots. His hair was pulled back into a little ponytail and he had a hint of eyeliner on, making those gorgeous eyes pop. My heart dropped into my stomach and I’m pretty sure I started to drool. His skin was pale, but his muscles were clearly defined. Tattoos covered both arms in beautiful patterns. I hadn’t worn my glasses tonight so I couldn’t tell what they were, but I knew I couldn’t wait to find out. He had leather bracelets on one wrist and silver rings on several of his long fingers. He had picked up the guitar and was lightly strumming, testing the tuning. He looked up and straight at me.

  “Good evening everyone.” Everyone applauded and hooted and hollered. He was apparently well known here. The VIP treatment made a little more sense.

  “Thank you for coming out tonight to listen to me wail a little,” he smirked. He scanned the crowd, searching for something. He gave a slight nod to someone in the back and Rosy came over to my table with a single pink rose. It was hot pink, long stemmed, and smelled amazing. I held it up to my nose while staring at him, a big smile on my face. He once again found my eyes, winked, and started to play. The lyrics rang out and my breath caught in my throat. OMG, he was playing The Scientist by Coldplay. His voice was beautiful, a little deeper and scratchier than the lead singer of Coldplay, which made the song incredibly sexy. My heart began to chunk off its armor in tiny pieces.

  He got to the second verse, oh how I wanted to tell him my secrets and learn all of his. I wanted to stay up all night with this man and learn him inside and out. Did he know how much this song spoke to me? Did the lyrics mean as much to him?

  As he sang, he looked right at me this entire time. Holy heck, he was singing to me. Was he speaking of his heart? Was his heart involved already? I wondered how many classes he had spent staring at me. We had been together for months, yet I had never really taken notice of him. I was starting to really, really regret that. He was so much more than a slacker in a hoodie.

  His last note faded into the darkness as the crowd erupted into applause. I joined in loudly hooting and smiling so big I was afraid I looked like a clown. ‘Wow’, I mouthed to him when he caught my eye again. ‘Stunning?’ He mouthed back. I blushed a bright red and nodded feverishly. He pointed down so I looked down at my table and there was a note written on a bar napkin: “So are you…”

  My eyes started to well up. No one had ever told me I was stunning. No one had held my hand until I had calmed down. No one had sung to me. No one had ever set up an entire night filled with VIP access and flowers and music. This guy…he was trouble. My heart wouldn’t stay hidden from him for long.

  He started strumming the next, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. He winked at me again, once I found the courage to raise my head. I didn’t want him to see how much he had affected me. He sang of needing my grace and the lyrics asked me if I would lie still with him. I slowly nodded at him and he smiled. This smile was slow and hesitant and full of hope. Oh yeah, this guy was complete trouble, wrapped up in a sexy-ass package.

  As he crooned on about my perfect eyes, I took a sip of my water, needing to coat my suddenly dry mouth. My eyes didn’t leave his as he finished the song. Again the crowd erupted. He was definitely a hit here. Someone brought out an electric guitar and he changed out his acoustic. He started playing With or Without You by U2. Who didn’t love this song? It encompassed so many aspects of love and relationships. I had always hoped to find someone who fit the lyrics to this song. I wanted someone who drove me crazy, in a good way and in a bad way.

  During this song he closed his eyes and really got into it. The scratchy effect of his voice added a very sexy aspect to the song. He finished it up and was staring at me again. The crowd was even louder this time. He cleared his throat into the mike and told everyone he was parched and needed to see a drink about a girl. The spotlight had gone off and the bar lights came back up and he caught me blushing once more.

  Kings of Leon was playing on the stage speakers, talking about how he could use somebody, and oh boy, could I ever use someone like Gabriel. This guy was perfect. Well, what little I knew and could see of him was. I was like a girl stranded in the desert, lost, dehydrated, and alone, and he was my oasis. I just hoped he wasn’t a mirage that my brain had imagined.

  Chapter Ten

  *****

  Lily

  “Hi,” he smiled almost slyly.

  “Hi,” I smiled back. Smooth, I thought to myself, you sure know how to make an impression.

  “You were wonderful,” I gushed, “and your voice is so distinct and beautiful.”

  “As are you,” he said softly.

  My eyes widened and I blurted out, “Are you for real?!” He threw his head back and laughed loudly. His neck was even more exposed in his t-shirt and all I could think about was how he would smell if I just buried my nose in it and took a big whiff.

  “Yes, Lily, I assure you I’m just as real as you are.”

  “Well,” I breathed out, “good.” Yes I was really good with words, right?

  He said, “I’m only doing a few songs tonight, as there is a new act they want to showcase. I’m just warming up the crowd.” He ducked his head, “Can I join you after my set?”

  “O...of course you c...can,” I stuttered. “I would love that.”

  He took my hand and brought it to his mouth. He turned it over so it was palm up and placed a light kiss in the center. He closed my fingers, causing me to make a fist. “Hold onto that for later,” he smirked. His eyes held a promise of something dark, something wonderfully dark. I
wanted to swim in that darkness and share my own. He went back up on stage, having changed back to the 6-string, and started playing Collide by Howie Day. I’m pretty sure he knew the soundtrack to my soul and was currently playing it on stage. All these songs I had fantasized about someone dedicating to me or dancing with me to, and here he was freaking singing them to me.

  Was he scared to know me too? Maybe that’s why he had kept his distance. He had an entire life I didn’t know about. For all I knew, he was married too, although there was no ring on his finger. I looked down at my left hand…I had put mine on out of habit tonight, and I stared at them. Was there even a point to wearing them anymore?

  As he sang about us colliding, I thought to myself, “Yes we have.” We had collided when I first noticed him staring at me, and he was quickly becoming a part of me. We had collided and now we were melding together through these beautiful songs that he was singing. Something about him made me want to trust him with my heart and soul. I barely knew the guy, but I wanted to share my light and my darkness with him. He finished the song and announced that his next song would be his last for the night. He thanked everyone for coming out and announced the next singer.

  He began singing Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye. I loved that song and had always felt bad for the guy who wrote it. Now I wondered if this song held meaning for Gabriel. I felt a pang of jealousy hit me, souring my stomach. Did he have someone he was pining over? Had someone cut him off? He’s freaking perfect, who would be stupid enough to let him go? If he was mine, I’d never let him out of the bedroom.

  Oh my gosh, where did that come from? A very powerful and very sweaty image of us tangled in sheets appeared in my mind out of nowhere. I was watching him intently and unconsciously licked my lips. He watched me with such intensity that I forgot there were other people in the room. His eyebrows raised, as if to say, “what”? I licked my lips again and slightly shook my head, trying to clear the images that were invading it. He nodded slightly, smirking, as if he knew what I had been thinking. The song ended and the crowd begged for more. I had ordered a beer for him and it was waiting when he made his way over. He looked surprised that I had ordered for him.

  “I couldn’t see your bottle label last week, but I knew the bottle was green, so I took a guess,” I said shyly.

  “You’re spot on, beautiful. Thank you.” I smiled as he sat down, very close to me. I caught a whiff of his soap and deodorant. I loved it when men didn’t wear cologne. I loved the clean scent of soap and the distinct scent each man had. I once again wanted to bury my face in his long neck and sniff deeply. I held back.

  He looked me over and said, “Wow, you look amazing. Red definitely suits you.”

  “Thank you,” I said, “You look amazing as well. Who knew what was hiding under those hoodies.” Oh shit, I really needed to invest in a filter for my verbal diarrhea.

  He laughed and said, “I keep in shape in case a beautiful girl needs rescuing. So far, I’ve only rescued one, but it still came in handy.” I lightly punched his arm, damn that muscle was gorgeous. Giggling I said, “I bet you say that to all the beautiful girls you rescue.”

  “Well yeah,” he joked, “but it works every time.” I giggled. It felt so nice to flirt again. I felt pretty, I felt awakened, and I felt like I never wanted this night to end. The new guy on the stage started singing Jason Mraz’s I Won’t Give Up and I smiled.

  “I love this song!” I exclaimed. He took my hand lightly in his and started to quietly sing along so only I could hear him. He sang the lyrics comparing me to the old stars and whispered, “How old is your soul?”

  My eyes filled with tears. “Very old,” I whispered, “Too old.”

  He held my hand a little tighter and ran his thumb over my wedding rings.

  “Tell me,” he said.

  “Why?” I asked, “Why me? I’m a nobody.”

  “Like recognizes like,” he said quietly. “I’m also a nobody with a very old soul.”

  I studied his face, looking for any sign that he was playing me. This had to be a joke. He was too perfect, too beautiful, too everything I’m not.

  “I have my secrets too, Lily.”

  “I want to know them all,” I whispered.

  He smiled, almost sadly, “Maybe. Some secrets are better left hidden. I might scare you away.”

  I looked into his eyes, smiling my own sad smile, “I might scare you too.”

  The guy on stage was singing Someone Like you by Adele at this point.

  “Bittersweet,” he whispered. “It used to be my favorite flavor”, and he leaned over and touched his lips to mine. It was light at first, almost airy. A small gasp escaped me and he deepened the kiss. His lips were warm and so very soft. His hand came up to cradle the back of my neck. He parted his lips slightly and traced my bottom lip with his tongue. All reason flew out of my head as the singer crooned the final lines of the song. The crowd erupted into loud applause and I pulled back in surprise. He didn’t move his hand from my neck, instead holding me close to his face. All I could see was the lust swimming in his eyes.

  “That’s my favorite flavor now,” he said quietly as his thumb brushed softly over my lips.

  I stood up, a little too quickly, and knocked my chair over.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t,” I apologized as I quickly picked up my chair. He looked perplexed for a moment.

  “You can’t what, Lily?”

  “I’m married, Gabriel. I…I just can’t.”

  “Is he married?”

  “What?”

  “Your husband, is he married?” I stood with my mouth open, unsure of how to answer.

  “I…I don’t know,” I answered honestly, “but I took vows. I’m…I’m not a cheater Gabriel.”

  He looked at me silently for what seemed like hours. I couldn’t read the look on his face. His eyes were dark and his mouth was set in a straight line. No smirk, no dimple, nothing familiar. I didn’t know this look, he looked hard, stubborn, and dangerous. Suddenly I was afraid, afraid of losing him, of losing whatever magic this was, of having to go back to my sorry excuse for a life. Something in me had been awakened and I didn’t want it to be put back to sleep.

  Finally he took a deep breath, looked up at me with kindness in his eyes and said, “Please don’t leave. I’m sorry I pushed you.”

  “You didn’t push me Gabriel. I wanted that kiss just as much, I’m just…it’s just…I have a lot to figure out before I can act on those wants.”

  “You’re right…I’m sorry Lily.” I sat back down and took his hand in mine. He was staring at the table with a faraway look on his face. I thought I had seen a hint of fear. Was he afraid of losing me too?

  “Someone once told me never to apologize for telling someone about myself, I think that someone should take his own advice,” I smirked at him, “That kiss told me a lot.” His head popped up and he grinned at me. It was adorable and almost boyish in nature.

  “Oh yeah, well what did you learn about me?”

  I blushed and said, “Lots.”

  ‘Like you’re trouble, big trouble’, I thought to myself.

  The new guy had stopped playing and the bar radio was back on. Sarah McLachlan’s I Love You was playing softly and some couples had gotten up to dance. Gabriel stood up and for a moment I thought he had changed his mind and was going to leave. Instead, he held out his hand to me and asked, “Will you dance with me Lily? Friends can dance, right?”

  I smiled shyly and said yes. I took his hand and let him guide me to the floor. He put a hand on my waist and took my other hand in his. He pulled me close and started to sway and hum with the lyrics. I smiled again, to myself, thinking about how fitting this music was for our situation. It seemed we both wanted something more, but what the more entailed was still a mystery. I had known him for about a minute but my heart seemed to be reaching for his heart. He started singing quietly as he rested his chin on my head. The lyrics spoke about how cold and long the nights were without eac
h other and Gabriel sang about how he couldn’t find the words to tell me he needed me.

  I looked up at him and whispered, “You need me?”

  His eyes searched mine and he replied, “More than you know.” I sighed and leaned my head on his chest. His chest was hard, making me wonder what it would feel like to run my fingers over it and the way he smelled was driving me crazy. He pulled me tighter as if I might slip away. The tears that I had been holding back once again threatened to spill over, stinging my eyes. My throat started to ache as I held back my emotions. Had it seriously only been a week since we had first spoken? Part of me felt like I had known him for years…how was my heart already so sure of everything?

  The song ended and A Thousand Years by Christina Perri came on. That was enough to make me smile. I wondered what he would say when I told him about my obsession with the Twilight Series. That might actually scare him away. In fact Ryan made fun of me on a regular basis for it. I started to quietly sing along with the first verse as we continued to sway.

  He pulled back and lifted my chin. “Did you just sing to me?”

  “Maybe,” I responded shyly.

  “Do it again?”

  I smiled and nodded, “You have to keep dancing though, so you can’t see how red my face gets”

  He laughed quietly and agreed. I laid my head back on his chest, suddenly very aware of how strong his arms were. I placed my hand on his heart, feeling its slow and steady beat, trying not to be nervous. I sang the final verses and sighed quietly.

  The song ended and he pulled away. “Your voice is beautiful Lily. Have you ever performed?”

  I laughed and shook my head, “Oh gosh, no way. I can do karaoke, but to perform with someone playing an actual instrument or without three shots of Jameson to warm me up…forget it!”

  “I bet you that I’ll get you to perform before the month ends,” he said.

  “Oh really?”

  “Yep, let’s shake on it. But first, we should make terms for the bet. Like what do we get if we win?”