‘Nooooooo!’ Louise flung an arm around her neck. ‘It’s too early. You and me are going clubbing.’ She held up a hand when Sam started to protest. ‘I haven’t been dancing with you in a long while. I fancy a good boogie. What do you say?’
Sam paused. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d had a dance. And if it meant getting Louise off her back for a while before she had to do it again, she might as well give it a shot. She nodded. Louise squealed like a pig, much to the fright of some of the teenagers re-applying Mac lip gloss.
Twenty minutes later, they headed to Rembrandt’s, the best in nightclubs that Hedworth had to offer. Once they were inside, Sam decided to forget about everything and have a dance with her best friend. And maybe, if they stayed on the dance floor, Louise wouldn’t have time to meet a man and leave her alone …
Matt woke up with a jolt to see it was nearly half past one. His arm was dead where he’d been leaning against it. He stretched, yawning noisily. The television was playing something he couldn’t recall watching. All he could remember was Charley going to bed shortly before midnight.
He really enjoyed watching over Charley. In her own sweet way, she reminded him of Louise when she was younger; sassy, cocky and full of life. Yet tonight he’d noticed she’d been a bit subdued.
He’d cracked a few jokes with her, which had raised the odd smile but that was all he’d got. Something was bugging her but he’d have to find out in her time. Matt knew better than to goad her into anything. She’d talk to him if she needed to.
He went through to the kitchen and made himself tea and a piece of toast before settling down in front of the television again. He could go to bed – there was one made up for him in the spare room. Louise would let herself in, albeit somewhat noisily, he knew from experience. But he always stayed up until she got back, waiting for her to check in. He couldn’t sleep until she was home so what was the point of going to bed and lying awake tossing and turning anyway? Besides, he knew Louise was always happy to see him, despite whatever he heard she’d been up to with Rob Masters.
Matt watched an old movie for a while before his eyes shut again.
Sam glanced at her watch. Through squinting eyes, she peered at it again. Was it really nearing two a.m.?
Coming out of the ladies’ for the umpteenth time since they’d arrived at Rembrandts, she searched around for Louise, only to find her on the dance floor, arms wrapped around Rob Masters as she snogged the face off him. Oh dear. If Louise didn’t want to feel bad about herself on a Sunday morning again, she’d better rescue her. She tapped her friend on the shoulder.
Turning towards her, lipstick smeared all around her mouth, Louise beamed and pulled her into a bear hug. Sam found her head being crushed into Louise’s chest.
‘I’m ready to go home,’ she shouted in Louise’s ear afterwards.
‘I can’t hear you!’ Louise shouted back.
Sam took her hand and pulled her towards the edge of the dance floor. When she turned to speak to her, she couldn’t believe Rob had come over too, until she noticed Louise’s firm grip on his arm.
‘We’re going home,’ she told Rob, prising Louise’s hand away.
‘But I don’t want to go yet.’ Louise dragged Rob’s arm up and pulled it around her shoulders. ‘I’m okay with you, aren’t I, Rob?’
Rob nodded. ‘Yeah, course, babe.’
‘Oh no.’ Sam wasn’t having it. ‘I’m not leaving you behind so that you’re embarrassed about what you get up to again.’
Louise’s eyes nearly came out of their sockets. ‘I’m not embarrassed,’ she told Rob, stretching up to kiss him.
‘Rob, have you any idea how you make her feel every weekend when all you think she’s good enough for is a quickie?’ said Sam. ‘Louise hates herself every Sunday morning because she’s been weak enough to fall for it again. She doesn’t want to sleep with you. She’s just lonely and you’ll do at the end of the—’
‘Oi!’ Louise jumped in. ‘I …’
Sam held up a hand to silence Louise and continued to speak to Rob.
‘If you actually like her, why don’t you start dating? Act like a normal couple, not just two sad and lonely people at the end of a night out.’
‘Okay, okay, you’ve made your point.’ Rob held up his hands in surrender. ‘I know when I’m being ambushed. I’ll see you around, Louise.’
‘Wait!’ Louise shouted after him as he walked away. With a glower, she turned back to Sam. ‘What did you say that for, you cow?’
But Sam wasn’t listening anymore. She didn’t drag Louise away kicking and screaming, but Louise did plenty of protesting as they left the nightclub.
‘I can’t believe you did that,’ Louise continued to complain as they got into a taxi parked outside the entrance. ‘I was ready to have a good time.’
‘I was saving you from yourself.’
Sam slammed the car door shut behind them, giving the driver Louise’s address. Although her house was the nearest to the city centre, she needed to make sure that Louise was home before she could relax. In her drunken state, she wouldn’t put it past Louise to ask the driver to take her back to Rembrandts to finish what she’d started once Sam had got out.
‘Yeah, right,’ Louise slurred. ‘More like you’re jealous because you’re not getting any.’
‘Don’t be disgusting.’ Sam turned her face and stared out of the window.
But Louise wanted to argue. ‘Well, I doubt you and Reece have sex any more.’
‘Louise!’ Sam remonstrated, appalled to see the taxi driver smirk through the rear view mirror.
‘Well, come on.’ Louise sat forward and ended up with her face in Sam’s shoulder as the driver took a corner. ‘You only see him for one night a week. What do you do for the rest?’
‘I’m not arguing with you when you’re drunk,’ Sam told her. In this state, it was better for Louise to think she’d had the last word.
‘And you must be frigid,’ Louise added.
Despite herself, Sam wouldn’t let those be the last ones.
‘That’s enough. You don’t know anything about it.’
‘Whassup? Truth hurt?’
They sat in a stroppy silence for the rest of the journey. Sam was grateful to see Louise’s road when it came up ahead. At least now she’d get some peace.
The taxi came to a halt and Louise handed the driver money to cover the fare so far. But then she struggled to get out of the door. Cursing, Sam tried to help her.
‘Would you sound your horn a little, please?’ she asked the driver as they practically fell out onto the pavement. ‘I’ve a feeling it’ll be quicker than this one trying to find her keys.’
The light went on in the hallway as they walked up the path and shortly afterwards, Matt came to the door and stepped out towards them. Sam held onto Louise in case she fell.
‘Hello, gorgeous,’ Louise smiled at Matt, as Sam transferred her into his arms. ‘Ya missed me tonight?’
‘Like a hole in the head,’ Matt muttered. ‘I can’t believe you’re in this state again. Come on. Let’s get you into bed.’
‘Ooh, I’ll let you take advantage of me, ifyerlike.’
As Sam left in the taxi, Matt helped Louise upstairs.
‘I love you, Matt Ratcliffe,’ Louise slurred as she dropped onto her bed.
‘I love you too, you drunken tart.’
Matt slipped off her shoes. Louise was so drunk she was like the sacks of potatoes that she emptied day after day. Hearing her snort, her eyes already closed, he tucked her under the duvet and sat down on the bed beside her.
Lying on her stomach, Louise snored gently. He watched her for a while, wondering what she’d been up to. Tenderly, he brushed her hair away from her face so he could see her. Her make-up was smudged everywhere but she was still beautiful to him. If only she could look at him as more than a friend, he’d look after her. He’d provide for her and Charley. He’d make Louise feel loved so that she didn’t have to sleep
with other men to feel wanted.
Ever since he’d started to hang around with Ryan and Jay when they were teenagers some twenty years ago, Matt had always had feelings for Louise. He’d watched from the sidelines as she’d turned from a girl into a lady – a kick ass lady with a kick ass attitude. It had been worse when she’d found herself pregnant with Charley.
The pregnancy had shocked him at first but it didn’t dampen his feelings towards her; he still wanted to be with her. But even though Matt and Louise had been out on a few dates when they were younger, Louise hadn’t really wanted things to become more permanent. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere, on someone else rather than him. In the end, he accepted that the only way he would get to be part of her life was to stay friends with her, to become the person that she could always turn to, rely on.
Annoyingly, she’d often taken advantage of him. Now Charley was fifteen and it wasn’t so bad, but when she couldn’t be left alone for any length of time, Matt had become an unpaid babysitter. Although Ryan and Jay constantly told him that he was a mug, he didn’t mind so much. Looking after Charley was something he loved to do. He couldn’t wait to find a woman of his own and settle down to start a family.
But as time went by, somehow, he could never find the right one. His relationships would finish after a year or so – mainly because he spent so much time with Louise and Charley.
When she’d found Brian Thompson and ended up getting married, he’d wondered if it was too quick. They’d only been together a few months but they seemed to love each other nonetheless. And for a while, things changed between him and Louise. It meant he couldn’t pop around just for a chat or a takeaway. Matt missed both Louise and Charley.
So when the marriage was over, he was there for her again – even if it was with a comforting arm around her shoulder, rather than in her bed. In the back of his mind, he’d always hoped that Louise would be his eventually, especially as Charley saw him as a father figure. But even then, Louise didn’t notice him. Matt knew she thought of him as just a good friend. He’d been around for so long it was as if he was part of the paintwork, part of the family. Someone there for her and Charley; someone who could be relied on but not loved.
Still, at least he got to look out for her, even if it was in just a tiny way. And no matter what, he knew he’d always be there for her. Maybe one day she’d change her mind, see that he loved her. Maybe one day she would love him too.
Louise was snoring loudly now. He went to fetch a glass of water and a packet of paracetamol and placed them by the side of the bed. Then with a heavy heart, he left the room.
Arriving home after dropping Louise off, Sam let herself into her hallway and stood for a moment in the silence. Still a little tipsy, the emptiness distressed her and she burst into tears. She really didn’t want to go clubbing every weekend to find someone to care for her. No wonder Louise went off with Rob Masters as often as she could. If she had to come home to a house as empty as this one felt right now, she’d soon be getting her kicks up some dark alley.
In the space of one evening, she’d realised just how lonely Louise must have felt after being on her own for so many years. Even though Reece hadn’t been around as much as she would have liked him to be, Sam had always known she had him as her other half. The awareness was always there that he was only a drive down the motorway if she needed him.
Feeling the urge to talk to him, she kicked off her shoes and located her phone. Through watery eyes, she flicked through the contacts to find the one she wanted. Her fingers hovered over the button. It was nearly three a.m. now. Should she ring him? Of course she shouldn’t. She would see him tomorrow.
Feeling alone and wondering how she had made such a mess of her life, Sam dropped onto the settee and sobbed into the cushion.
Chapter Fifteen
The next morning, Jess didn’t feel like getting up. What had she got to look forward to? A Sunday with the loved-ups cooing over the breakfast table, letting her know for certain she had overstayed her welcome? Both her brother and Nicci had been cold with her since she’d tried to sabotage the wedding, but at least they had said she could stay a little longer. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but what else could she do? She had nowhere else to go.
The day was going to drag. She couldn’t even go shopping as she didn’t want to spend any more than was necessary. She’d be needing to buy things for the baby soon.
Thinking of her predicament made her think of Laurie, wonder what he would be up to right now. No doubt, he’d be spending the day with his wife and children while she was alone again. She wondered if he’d thought about her at all since she’d been gone. Remembered the happy times they’d shared, the love-making as well as the sex.
If she was a cow, Jess would have made sure his wife knew about his extramarital bliss, plus the baby, and she would have gone after him for maintenance when the child was born. But even though Jess was needy, she didn’t want to do that to him. She’d just have to make someone else fall for her now, someone like Ryan. He was as needy as her.
Desperate for the bathroom, she swung her legs up and out of the bed. As she stood up, she felt nausea rising and only just managed to get to the the toilet in time to throw up. Morning sickness, ugh. She couldn’t wait for that to be over and done with.
She sat on the side of the bath waiting for her colour to return. The tears pouring down her cheeks took a long time to stop.
Louise opened her eyes slowly, knowing full well that she already had the headache from hell, even if she hadn’t woken up properly. She’d been dozing for a while now, every now and then the voices of Charley and Matt floating up from downstairs. She’d been wanting to join them for ages but equally didn’t want to get out of bed for fear of feeling worse than she did.
In the end, she didn’t have to. There was a knock on her door.
‘I’ve a mug of coffee if you’re awake and decent,’ Matt spoke through the door.
‘Come in,’ Louise croaked. She coughed to clear her voice as Matt came in.
He wafted a hand in front of his face. ‘Morning, drunkard,’ Matt greeted her. ‘It smells like a brewery in here.’
‘It’s not that bad.’ Louise attempted to rise on one elbow but her head began to pound so she lay back again.
‘Did you take the painkillers I left out for you?’ Matt plonked the mug on the cabinet next to the bed.
‘Yes, thanks.’
‘You were in a right state when you came in last night.’ He sat down on the bottom of the bed. ‘I worry about you when you get like that.’
‘I’m fine.’ Her voice came out as a croak again and she took a sip of water. She couldn’t look Matt in the eye. ‘I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t, did I?’
Matt sniggered. ‘Just the usual stuff – how much you love me and I’m such a good friend.’
‘It’s all true.’ She still couldn’t look at him, already feeling her cheeks burning.
‘You’re flushed,’ Matt noticed. ‘Are you feeling ill or just hungover?’
‘Is there a difference?’
‘I suppose not.’ Matt clapped a hand on his thigh before standing up. ‘If you’re staying in bed, I’ll head off home. But if you’re thinking of getting up, I’ll do us a fry up?’
Louise felt her body spasm at the thought of anything greasy. ‘Not unless you want the contents of my stomach on the plate too,’ she replied.
‘Ugh, you are gross at times.’ Matt stopped and turned back just before he got to the door. ‘I’ll do me and Charley a breakfast anyway. If you want to join us come down.’
‘Like this?’ She pointed at her pale face.
‘Yes, you’ll be fine in your jim-jams.’ He stared at her but she looked away.
‘Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then,’ he smiled. ‘I’ll text you later to see how you are.’
As soon as he was gone, Louise regretted not going downstairs with him. She knew she was in for a long recovery back to the land of the non-drunk. St
ill, she couldn’t resist trying one more time to get out of bed. When the room began to spin, she sat down again promptly. She’d have to miss her time with Matt this morning.
Despite her head pounding that morning, Sam had got up early to prepare for Reece’s arrival. Every time she glanced at the clock, she had butterflies in her tummy. She cleaned the house from top to bottom, as she did every Sunday morning, but this time it seemed different. This time she cleaned the windows – and the oven! It was as if everything had to be perfect. Pull yourself together, it’s only Reece, she chastised herself as she made sure there wasn’t any litter on the driveway that had blown in with the wind last night. Then she paused.
It’s only Reece.
Those words spoke volumes said in that context. Because it wasn’t only Reece this time. It was Reece, her husband who wasn’t sure if he wanted to be married to her any more. And maybe the fact that she’d thought it’s only Reece had been the problem all along – that she took him for granted.
The visit loomed as she prettified herself. Despite the tears of the previous night, and the pallor of her skin due to excessive alcohol and a late night, she managed to look half decent for his arrival. He arrived promptly at two o’clock, his eyes focussing on anything but her. Already it was as if they didn’t know how to act around each other.
She hadn’t asked if he wanted anything to eat but had assumed and made a Sunday roast, really making an effort to cook it just as he liked. It hadn’t been a good idea because at first they’d sat in silence while they’d eaten. Then the small talk began.
‘How’s the stall?’ Reece asked.
‘Doing fine,’ Sam nodded, pleased to have something to talk about. ‘That range of organic chopped mixed fruits that we sourced are doing well.’
‘That’s great. I did wonder if they might not take off. And how are the staff? Is Lou being her obnoxious self still?’
‘As ever.’ She grinned now. ‘She’s fine - still messing around with Rob Masters, although I managed to keep her from his clutches by going out with her last night. Not sure I want to do it again, though. Clubbing’s not really my scene.’ Her grin faded. ‘And do you remember Jay’s little sister, Jess? She’s back in Hedworth.’
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