That's What Friends Are For

by Marcie Steele

  ‘Did he know about me?’

  ‘No. Louise didn’t want to tell him but a few weeks later he died anyway. Lord knows what she thought I would have said about it. I think that’s what hurt the most. That she kept it from me. But I can see why, I suppose.’

  ‘She really is a silly cow, isn’t she?’

  Sam could hear the affection in Charley’s tone.

  ‘Yes, she is. But her heart’s in the right place.’

  ‘I don’t think she has a heart.’

  ‘Of course she has a heart.’

  Charley’s face creased up again. ‘Then why is she always fooling around with everyone?’

  ‘She’s just afraid of getting hurt again. Sometimes it’s easier to deny yourself happiness than dare to have another go at things.’

  ‘You mean with Matt, don’t you?’

  Sam grinned. ‘It’s obvious to you, too?’

  ‘I think it’s obvious to everyone but Mum and Matt. I wish he was my dad.’ Charley pulled away from her. ‘Oh, I didn’t mean –’

  Sam smiled. ‘I know what you meant.’

  They sat in silence for a moment. In front of them, two seagulls fought over the remains of someone’s bacon butty. The noise became deafening. Time to go.

  Sam spotted Matt walking towards them, carrying three cartons of coffee with both hands. He held a small paper bag between his teeth. She turned to Charley.

  ‘I think you should text your mum to say that we’ll be on our way home soon.’

  Charley took out her phone. ‘She’s going to be so mad, isn’t she?’

  ‘Yes, but only because she cares about you.’

  ‘Do you think so?’

  ‘Of course I think so! She just has a funny way of showing it sometimes.’

  They smiled at each other.

  ‘Hey,’ Sam whispered just before Matt reached them. She leaned in close to Charley again. ‘It’s great to have a little sister.’

  Charley’s face lit up.

  By the time she saw Matt’s car pull up outside her home, Louise felt like a yo-yo. She’d been up and down to the window that many times. She opened the front door, flew out of the house and ran towards the car.

  Charley got out and fell straight into her mum’s arms. ‘I’m sorry,’ she cried, holding onto her. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

  Louise was crying too. ‘I’m just glad you’re back and in one piece. We were all so worried.’

  Through her tears, she mouthed a thank you to Sam and Matt before tightly holding onto Charley as she ushered her into the house.

  ‘Should we go in or leave them to it?’ Matt asked Sam.

  ‘I think we should leave them to it.’

  ‘I’m glad it’s a happy ending.’

  ‘Me too.’

  ‘I suppose we’d better check out what’s happened at the market without us there.’ Matt started the engine up again. ‘I bet all hell’s let loose without us.’

  ‘Speak for yourself,’ said Sam. ‘I have Nicci manning my stall. She might be rushed off her feet but she’s capable. Whereas you have Ryan.’ She smirked. ‘I know who my money is on.’

  ‘It’s a good job all this happened when it did. It’s going to be manic setting everything up for the wedding.’

  ‘Maybe, but it might be good practice for someone sitting not so far away from me.’

  Matt grinned. ‘Oh, I reckon there’ll be at least one more family fall out before the big day. It’s part of the fun, isn’t it?’

  ‘You know that’s not what I meant.’

  ‘Sorry.’ Matt turned up the radio. ‘I can’t hear you. La, la, la, LA!’

  Sam grinned back at him but the smile swiftly dropped from her face. If only the wedding was all she had to concentrate on right now.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  It was Sunday evening and a week to go before the wedding. Sam was curled up on the settee with a glass of wine. Thankfully, Reece had gone to have a couple of pints with Ryan and Matt so she had the house to herself. It was something that she was beginning to miss.

  She sighed. All this wedding talk was making her think of her own marriage. How the hell was she going to tell Reece that things weren’t working between them anymore? She couldn’t stay with someone that she loved like a brother. Yes, the sex was still there but even that was beginning to get complacent again. A case of if we must rather than I’d love to, darling.

  Jay and Nicci’s wedding was going to be so stressful for her. She’d be surprised if she got through the day without bursting into tears. Despite what had happened over the past few weeks, she missed Louise. She needed her support now more than ever but since she’d made up with Charley, she was spending more time with her. Rightly so, in Sam’s opinion, but it left her with no one to confide in.

  So she wasn’t expecting to open the door shortly after seven o’clock and find an embarrassed looking Louise on the doorstep.

  ‘I was just thinking about you,’ Sam said once they’d gone through to the living room and sat down.

  ‘Oh?’ said Louise, sounding a little shocked.

  ‘Yes. I was wondering how Charley was doing.’

  ‘She’s great.’ Louise was unable to stop the grin spreading across her face. ‘We’ve had a few long chats now. We also talked about the bullying. I told her how sorry I was that it was down to me. She’s gone back to school.’

  ‘Good. I’m pleased.’

  ‘Yeah, me too. Which is why I came round to see you.’ Louise paused for a second. ‘I’d like to talk to you, see if we can smooth things out now.’

  ‘And what makes you think you can make peace with me that easily?’

  Sam left the room, leaving Louise to stew, until she returned with another wine glass and poured her a drink.

  ‘Well, go on then,’ she said after she’d sat down. ‘Tell me what you want me to know.’

  And so the whole story finally came tumbling out of Louise.

  ‘When I was seventeen, you know that I was round at your house so much because mine was always so noisy.’ Louise smiled shyly at the memories. ‘I used to love nothing more than spending time with you here because your dad was out at work a lot and we had the house to ourselves. It was like having our own pad.’ She laughed, a little awkwardly.

  Sam remained straight-faced.

  ‘I – I never told you, but I always had a crush on Martin. He was so good-looking and so, well, grown up compared to the boys we knew. There weren’t weeks or months of flirting on his side. In fact, he never took any notice of me in that way at all, if I’m honest, because I remember feeling upset about it. But then I caught him on a rare occasion when he’d had too much to drink.

  ‘I’d come over to see you one Sunday afternoon after I’d had a row with my mum and dad but you weren’t in. Martin had been to the pub and was a little worse for wear. He said I should come in and wait for you. He offered me a glass of wine and for every sip I had, he took in more of the whisky he’d poured himself.

  ‘He suggested putting on a video and picked out Dirty Dancing. And just before the I-carried-a-watermelon scene came on, he pulled me to my feet and we had a laugh trying to dance. He was so drunk he kept falling over and well, you can imagine the rest.’

  Louise paused to catch her breath. Sam was staring at the floor.

  ‘Afterwards, I was so embarrassed,’ Louise continued. ‘I went upstairs to your bathroom and sat for a while to gather my thoughts. It felt so wrong – yet so right at the same time. But when I finally went back downstairs, Martin was fast asleep on the settee. I prodded him a couple of times but,’ she looked at Sam, ‘I couldn’t wake him so after about ten minutes I went home.

  ‘When I next saw him, either he remembered and didn’t want to admit it or he didn’t remember a thing, because he never mentioned it to me ever again. There wasn’t any awkward moments either as he wondered if I’d bring it up. I don’t think he even knew what he’d done.

  ‘I was upset but relieved at the same
time. I can remember imagining what would have happened if he really did have feelings for me. How terrible would that be – the old cliché, my best friend’s father? And despite what you think of me now, I would never want to hurt you, so I never told you. And I never told him.

  ‘Two months later he died, and a week later I found out I was pregnant.’ Louise paused to see if Sam would speak. When she didn’t, she carried on.

  ‘I’m not proud of what I did but you must see that I did it to protect you. Martin was your rock. You’d always looked up to him and I didn’t want to change that over one stupid, childish moment of mine. He was drunk and even at eighteen, I took advantage of him. I’m sorry.’

  Sam still didn’t speak but there were tears pouring down her face. Louise started to cry too.

  ‘I know I’m a selfish bitch,’ she cried, ‘but I only did what I thought was best. Maybe if Martin had been alive, I might have told him. Maybe I would always have kept it secret … I don’t know.’

  ‘And my dad was definitely Charley’s father?’

  ‘Yes. I wasn’t sleeping with anyone else then.’

  ‘I …’ Sam struggled to speak. ‘I think you should leave.’

  Louise shook her head. ‘Not until this is sorted. You’re my best friend and I want—’

  ‘But, don’t you see? You’ve ruined everything! Every good memory I had has been tarnished.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘You took advantage of him and betrayed me because you were jealous of the relationship I had with Reece.’

  ‘You’re wrong. I didn’t take advantage of Martin because I was jealous. I was eighteen, unlucky in love and just wanted a bit of fun. Unfortunately for me, I got a reminder of that one night of fun for the rest of my life.’ Louise swallowed. ‘Still, I have Charley and, despite our ups and downs, I love her so much.’

  When it was clear that Sam wasn’t going to say anything else, Louise stood up. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow then. That is, if I still have a job?’

  ‘Of course you have a job!’ Sam raised her voice. ‘What do you take me for?’

  ‘Well I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again, so . . .’

  Louise left, closing the door quietly behind her, hoping her tears wouldn’t fall until she was away from the house. But by the time she got to the bottom of the drive, she could hardly see.

  She hoped that Sam would forgive her eventually. Because although she had her daughter back, she might have lost her best friend now. And that hurt more than she’d ever thought possible.

  Sam burst into tears again as soon as Louise left. For years, she had thought Charley was the mistake of a drunken one night stand. She’d thought the father would be someone that Louise couldn’t remember. Even when she’d caught Charley smiling, or laughing in a way that seemed familiar, never once had she imagined she and Charley would share the same father – and that her face resembled Sam’s own.

  After so many years, the news was bound to come as a shock, a double shock in actual fact. But deep down, she realised why Louise had never told her; why she’d never told Charley either. It was to protect them all. Louise didn’t want Sam to bear any malice towards Martin. She didn’t want Charley to know because it would have made things awkward. And she didn’t want Martin to be ostracised by people – even though, drunk or not drunk, at thirty-four he should have known better than to take advantage of an eighteen-year-old girl.

  Some of the things she’d talked over with Charley the other day came back to her. People make mistakes, she’d told her. And maybe it wasn’t fair for anyone to judge someone who was so young and found herself pregnant by her best friend’s father who died shortly afterwards.

  How would she have felt if Louise had told her then? Hell, Sam wondered if she would have even believed her. Would she have accused her of vying for attention, like Louise was always prone to doing? Either way, she knew their friendship would probably have been over. She wouldn’t have wanted to see Charley growing up as her father’s child. Now, knowing Charley for so long, she realised she was glad of that.

  She also wondered if Louise would ever have told them the truth if she hadn’t blurted it out that evening. Maybe – maybe not. But it was out now and they’d all just have to make the best of it.

  All of them.

  Louise got home to find a note from Charley to say she’d slipped over to Sophie’s house and would be home for half past eight. Her heart lurched as she thought back to last week and the night her daughter had spent away from her. But since she’d been home, Charley and Sophie had become thick as thieves again and for the past two days, it was as if they’d never fallen out. It was great to hear their laughter around the house once more and it eased the tension as she and Charley both learned to forget the argument and move forward. At least that way Louise could settle, knowing that giving her daughter the freedom to grow, despite wanting to have her close all the time, was good for both of them. She and Charley had had a good chat about Martin too. When Charley had asked why she had never told her the truth, she’d felt selfish all over again.

  Shivering, she switched on the gas fire and flopped into the settee. Tears poured from her eyes but she wiped angrily at them. There was no time for self-pity. Louise had known for a long time that she needed to change. It was just so hard to do when she felt she was stuck in a rut.

  But she realised lately there was more to life than putting Louise Pellington first. She cared for Charley. She cared for Sam. And she cared for Matt. Three important people in her life – and she had walked all over them to get her own way. Well, not anymore.

  From now on, things were going to change. She might not ever be the best mother and she would never make the greatest best-friend-forever but she could improve on what she was and try to make amends.

  After all, it was her mistake that had caused the heartache.

  Two nights before the wedding, most of the women involved in the big day were round at Sam’s house for a girlie night in. Nicci hadn’t wanted to have a hen party; she hadn’t fancied trawling around the pubs of Hedworth or going out for a meal. Louise hadn’t even been able to persuade her to have a night out down at the local pub. But she’d finally succumbed to pressure when Sam suggested getting together at her house. She asked everyone to bring a plate of food and a bottle of something to drink, and the table in the kitchen looked fit to collapse under the weight of cupcakes, sandwiches, mini quiches and pizzas, and numerous nibbles, as well as every type of drink concoction possible.

  Despite it being laid out in the kitchen, most of the women were in the living room. Reece, Matt and Ryan had gone into town to meet Jay and his mates for a low key stag do. Charley had brought a Wii console with her and a dancing game. She’d been teaching her Nan to Zumba for the past half hour.

  ‘Oh, my back is going to be killing me in the morning,’ said Sandra, ‘and I’m mother of the bride … I’m supposed to be sophisticated. At this rate, I’ll be walking like John Wayne!’

  ‘Me too!’ Louise’s auntie Marilyn held onto her stomach as she laughed again. ‘Oh, I haven’t had so much fun in ages. I’ve got a stitch.’

  As the games were swapped over, Nicci decided to join in. She grabbed Ryan’s wife, Sarah, and pulled her up too.

  ‘Come on,’ she said, a little unsteady on her feet. ‘Let’s show the young ones how to do it.’

  They stood behind Charley and Sophie, poised and ready to start. The music kicked in and they were off. Louise looked on, laughing as Charley and Sophie did a perfect routine to one of Little Mix’s songs while Nicci and Sarah bumbled along in hysterics, thrusting hips and waving arms around.

  A few minutes later, Louise noticed Sam sidle out of the room. They still weren’t speaking properly and despite her intentions to change, she didn’t really know what to do to make things better.

  When she’d been gone for a while, Louise went to find her. She wasn’t anywhere downstairs so she had a look upstairs. From the landing, she noticed S
am’s bedroom door slightly ajar. Louise peeped around it.

  Sam was sitting on the corner of the bed. There were photos spread over the duvet cover. She guessed they must be of Martin. Louise ached to go to her, to put her arms round her and hug her tightly, but she didn’t feel able to intrude. She heard Sam sniff and realised she was crying as she held one of the photos to her chest.

  Louise turned to go back downstairs quietly, but a squeaky floorboard gave her away.

  Sam looked up, quickly wiping at her eyes.

  ‘I came to see where you were,’ Louise said. ‘I’m sorry. I was just leaving.’

  Sam gathered the photos together and shoved them back in the drawer they’d come from.

  ‘I was just coming,’ she said, waltzing past Louise and down the stairs without another word.

  Now it was Louise’s turn to wipe away tears. After keeping her secret for so long, she had to realise that she might have blown it altogether now it was out. And it made her feel desperately sad.

  While the women enjoyed themselves over at Sam’s house, Jess sat curled up on the settee. With Nicci and Jay out, it gave her time to sit and think without anyone interrupting her – or making her feel like she was in the way.

  But she didn’t really want time to think. Because time to think made her realise how much she was dreading the wedding that weekend. She’d give anything not to be a part of it but it was too late to back out. And it was her brother getting married, not someone who she could lie to by faking illness.

  She wasn’t sure how she was going to get through the day seeing Ryan playing happy families with his wife and daughters when all she wanted was to be happy too. Didn’t she deserve a little happiness after all she’d been through? Left holding a baby at the age of twenty-eight, with no father to support them, not even financially as much as emotionally. No man to rely on, to be there for her.

  If only she hadn’t been asked to be part of the wedding party. It was another adage that the bridesmaid got off with the best man but this time it would be true. How could she have started an affair with Ryan? Talk about bringing it to your own doorstep. She was so ashamed of herself. She’d been looking for someone to blame her baby on and realised that he would be open to persuasion as soon as she saw him again.