by Carol Lynne
* * * *
Mario managed to keep his mouth shut until they dropped off Joseph at the shelter. The long drive had given him time to think about Asa’s latest plan. “It’s not that I’m against a credit union in town, but I don’t think it’s vital and your resources could be better used in other areas.”
“How do you suppose people cash their checks or get home loans without a fucking bank or credit union? It won’t do much good for me to pour money into this town unless I set it up to succeed,” Asa argued.
“There’s a bank thirty minutes away. I think they can make that trip once a week without having the entire town fall down around them.” Mario felt that all too familiar throb of the vein in his forehead that signaled he was getting pissed. The last thing he wanted was to fight with his partner. “All I’m saying is that we should handle things in stages. Right now we have the construction guys living in town, along with the plumbers and electricians. Our next step should be putting the public safety personnel in place. After that, we can contact the applicants who are interested in opening their own businesses.” He reached for Asa’s hand. “We build Lobster Cove up slowly, a phase at a time. We make sure there’s a good foundation before adding all the conveniences of the city.”
Asa unbuckled his seatbelt. “You’re right.” He leaned over the console and gave Mario a deep kiss.
Mario was glad his tongue was busy tangling with Asa’s because being heard he’d been right was rare enough that he might otherwise feel the need to crow.
* * * *
Cullen stood in the newly constructed shower room and watched Jordan Bailey plumb the fourth shower stall. He’d learned a lot from Jordan and hoped to learn a lot more in the weeks and months to come. It wasn’t his goal to become a plumber, but it would be nice to be able to fix issues without calling in professionals every time.
“I have the tile guys coming in tomorrow afternoon. Think we’ll be ready?” Cullen asked. He put his hand on Jordan’s shoulder and leaned closer to inspect Jordan’s work.
Jordan paused for a moment before shaking his head. “Shouldn’t be a problem. I still have to run the new lines in the single baths, but I should have that done by lunch.”
A throat cleared behind them, and Cullen glanced back and froze. Fuck me. “Joseph.”
Joseph stepped into the shower room. He didn’t look around at the newly constructed room because his gaze was on Cullen. “I need to talk to you.”
Cullen swallowed around the lump in his throat. The last thing he’d expected was to see Joseph anytime soon. “Umm, yeah, okay.” He squeezed Jordan’s shoulder before getting to his feet. “I’ll be out front if you need me, Jordan.”
“Yep,” Jordan replied before going back to work.
Cullen hadn’t asked Joseph’s permission to work on the shelter in Lobster Cove, so he wondered if he was about to be ordered back to Cattle Valley. He picked his way through the debris left by the carpet installers in the common room before throwing open one of the double front doors. “What’s up?”
“Who was that?” Joseph asked.
“Jordan? He’s the plumber. Why?” Cullen couldn’t read the expression on Joseph’s handsome face.
“The two of you were a little close to be co-workers.” Joseph pulled Cullen by the arm and led him to the side of the building. “Something going on between the two of you?”
Anger filled Cullen at the accusation. Joseph had pushed him away and told him to move on, so why the fuck was he acting jealous? “What do you care?”
“Answer the question.”
“No, I’m not going to answer the question because it’s none of your business. You don’t want me. Remember?” Cullen knew he sounded like a stubborn asshole, but he was pissed.
“Damn!” Joseph ran his fingers through the short strands of his salt-and-pepper hair. “I waited too long, didn’t I?”
Cullen crossed his arms and leaned against the brick wall at his back. He wondered what kind of game Joseph was playing. “I’m so tired of your indecision. I’ve waited for years. Years for you to acknowledge that you actually felt something for me, but you didn’t. Instead, you threw me away. Told me to move on then turned your fucking back on me.”
“I want you,” Joseph said before leaning over enough to capture Cullen’s lips in a kiss.
Shocked by Joseph’s unexpected assault, it took Cullen a few seconds to open his mouth for Joseph’s insistent tongue. He melted into the kiss. It was everything he’d known it would be and more, but why the hell had Joseph changed his mind after everything they’d been through? Had Joseph found out about his date with Sully? Was jealousy the only thing fueling their war of tongues and lips?
When he felt Joseph’s erection pressing against him, Cullen broke their connection and turned his head to the side. “Why now? What changed?”
Joseph spun away and began to pace. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. Not like that.”
The low growl that escaped Joseph’s mouth flabbergasted Cullen. Never had Cullen witnessed Joseph in his current mood. “What’s going on with you?”
Joseph stopped walking but kept his back to Cullen. “Is there somewhere more private we can go?”
“Sure.” Cullen pushed away from the wall. “My place is just down the block.”
Without waiting for Joseph to follow, Cullen retrieved Joseph’s suitcase from just inside the shelter doorway. “It isn’t far.”
“I can carry that,” Joseph offered.
“I got it.” Cullen shook his head in an attempt to clear his muddled mind. Was it possible that after years of waiting, Joseph finally saw Cullen as more than the street kid he’d rescued? He concentrated on the bricked street in front of him. Although the majority of the roads in town were paved with blacktop, several streets had survived unchanged for nearly a century. He loved the old-world look of the bricks, and even though the ride wasn’t as smooth, he couldn’t imagine paving over them.
“This is a pretty town,” Joseph said from behind Cullen.
“Wait ’til you see the rest of it,” Cullen replied. “Or did you already?”
“No, Mario and Asa drove me straight to the shelter. I think they were in a hurry to get rid of me.”
Cullen slowed his stride until Joseph was beside him. “They were horny?”
Joseph shook his head. “They were having a disagreement about whether or not Asa should build a credit union in town. I think they probably had it out with each other once they dropped me off.”
Cullen remembered the sullen mood Asa had been in on the night of Pip’s attack. He wasn’t used to being around couples who fought. His mom and dad had been worthless in their roles as parents, but they’d never fought with each other. There had been times when he’d hated their solidarity against him.
“Do you think they’ll be okay?” Cullen gestured for Joseph to precede him up the flower-lined brick trail to the front porch. He loved the navy-blue paint combined with the white trim and bright red door. There was something so freaking New England about the whole place that it made him smile each time he came home to it.
“Asa and Mario? Absolutely. It was just a disagreement. They’ve probably already made up.”
“Do they fight a lot?” Cullen reached for the screen door and held it open for Joseph.
“All couples fight.” Joseph turned in a circle as he surveyed the house Cullen had grown to love.
“I don’t have much experience with couples.” Cullen shrugged. He wished he had at least one relationship under his belt so he knew about stuff like that. “Want something to drink?”
“Water would be nice.” Joseph sat on the sofa Asa had purchased when Cullen had moved in.
Cullen walked into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator, but instead of going back to the living room right away, he gave himself a moment. He stared out of the window at the old elementary school that would soon be known as the Rainbow Youth Center. He’d put his heart into the building in an effort to prov
e to Joseph that he was good enough to stand at his side, but from their earlier exchange, it seemed he had it all wrong. Joseph saw him as an easy piece of ass, nothing more.
“I shouldn’t have sent you away,” Joseph said from behind Cullen.
Cullen rested his fists on the counter. “Why? You hating yourself for not getting me into your bed before you kicked me out?”
“What? No.” Joseph sighed. “I’m sorry about the kiss. I came to tell you what a fool I’ve been, but when you looked at me, all I could see was the hurt in your eyes—hurt I put there.”
The floor creaked, and Cullen could feel the heat of Joseph’s body as he stepped up behind Cullen. “I went on a date with Sully.” He glanced over his shoulder at Joseph. “It was the first legitimate date I’ve ever been on.”
Joseph’s jaw tightened. “And how’d it go?”
Cullen returned his gaze to the view out of the window. He wished he could lie about the experience, but he’d always been honest with Joseph. “We kissed.” If he thought Joseph would back down, he was mistaken.
Joseph put his hands on Cullen’s arm and tugged, turning Cullen to face him. “Did it feel as right as the one we shared earlier?”
“No.” Cullen licked his lips. His cock hardened when his thoughts strayed to their earlier encounter. He’d waited years for Joseph to touch him like that, so why had he freaked out when it had finally happened? Fuck! He was so confused. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I want everything you have to give, but first we need to talk. After you hear me out, the decision on whether or not to move forward will be your choice.” Joseph gave Cullen a tentative smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Please?”
Still reeling from Joseph’s declaration that he wanted everything, Cullen retrieved the water bottles from the counter. “Sure. We can talk out on the deck.”
Cullen led the way through the small laundry room to the back door of the house. He gestured to the portable fire-pit surrounded by four comfortable chairs. Asa had been more than gracious about furnishing the house, claiming they could always use the stuff in one of the other properties after Cullen returned to Cattle Valley.
“This is nice,” Joseph said, looking around the yard.
“It’s beautiful here,” Cullen agreed. He took a sip of his water and waited for Joseph to begin. He still couldn’t figure out why Joseph had had a change of heart, and if he was honest with himself, he didn’t trust the turn of events. Nothing in his life had ever gone the way he’d hoped, so why should a relationship with Joseph be any different?
Joseph began to pick at the label on his bottle. “I’ve gone back and forth with myself for the last few days, trying to figure out how to explain my actions, and I’m not any closer to the answer than when I started.”
“Just spit it out,” Cullen blurted.
Joseph took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I know what you did with Willy to keep him off my back, and I should’ve put a stop to it. I didn’t because I told myself that what I was doing by getting those kids off the street was the most important thing.”
Fucking Willy hadn’t been anymore humiliating than what Cullen had been forced to do on a daily basis with the creeps who paid him. The only difference was Willy got it for free. “That’s it? You pushed me away for years because I fucked Willy?”
Joseph shook his head. “You continually sacrificed yourself for me, and I let you.” He stared at Cullen with a confused expression on his face. “If I was the man I claim to be, I would’ve stood up to Willy on my own, but instead I allowed him to do those things to you.”
Cullen closed his eyes and started to silently count. It was a tool he’d told the boys at Second Chance to use when their anger started to get out of control. He heard the guilt in Joseph’s voice, but he also heard a modicum of disgust at what he’d done with his pimp. Not that he understood it, but Joseph’s guilt he could deal with. The other worried him the most. He couldn’t change his past, no matter how much he wished he could. “Are you sure it’s just the sex I had with Willy that’s bothering you?”
Joseph was quiet for several moments before speaking. “The sex with Willy was my fault all the way, so, yes, I think that’s why that bothers me the most. What you did with other men was your choice. I wouldn’t rescue kids off the street if I thought any less of them for what they had to do to survive. You should know that by now.”
Was it Cullen’s imagination or was Joseph starting to get pissed off? “I don’t know what to believe. First I’m too young, then you can’t get over Phillip’s death, then I’m needed in Cattle Valley…” He moved his finger in a circle. “Although I have to say, this excuse is a new one.” He tilted his head to the side. “I wonder what you’ll use to wedge between us next.”
“Dammit!” Joseph jumped to his feet. “Why’re you making this so hard?”
Cullen snorted. “Hard?” He leaned forward in his chair and glowered up at Joseph. “Hard is being thrown out of your house broken and bloody at the age of twelve. Hard is digging through the garbage in order to eat. Hard is sucking some middle-aged father off in a mini-van when all you want is to beg him to take you home and let you become a part of a real family. Hard is loving someone for years and knowing you’re not good enough to have them.”
Cullen broke off when his throat constricted around the sob that was trying to break free. He took several deep breaths before continuing. “I’ve worked my ass off in an attempt to prove that I’m not the same man I was when you met me, but each time I try to get close to you, you shove me away with one of your bullshit excuses.”
Joseph dropped to his knees in front of Cullen. “I’m so sorry.” He rested his head on Cullen’s thigh but didn’t look at him. “You’re wrong. You are good enough. It’s me who doesn’t deserve you, not after what I sat by and let happen to you.”
Cullen lifted his hand to hover over Joseph’s head for several seconds before he gave into the temptation to bury his fingers in Joseph’s thick hair. He wished he could push Joseph away, but rejecting the man was impossible. “Is that all of it?”
Joseph shook his head. “But I’m not ready to tell you the rest yet.” He peeked up at Cullen. “It’s personal.”
By personal, Cullen assumed Joseph meant it was sexual in nature. Since Cullen had dealt with every kink out there at one time or another, he doubted anything Joseph was into would shock him. He put the brakes on his thoughts. Jumping into a sexual relationship with Joseph wasn’t the way he wanted it. Thousands of men had enjoyed his cock, but never had one of them taken the time to get to know him, the real him.
“Tell me I haven’t lost you?” Joseph grabbed Cullen’s hand and kissed it.
“You haven’t,” Cullen whispered. He gathered his courage. Setting demands wasn’t something he was used to, but he wanted to be real with Joseph. “Ask me out.”
Joseph smiled. “I don’t know what there is around here to do, but would you go on a date with me?”
Chapter Six
Joseph felt lighter than he had in years as he walked hand in hand with Cullen. They had decided on a tour of the town before grabbing a bite to eat, and so far, he couldn’t have imagined a more perfect first date.
Cullen pointed toward the frame of a new building. “That’ll be a restaurant. Some chef Erico knows who’d been trying to get him to take on a partner in The Canoe.” He grinned. “Erico’s put him off because we both know he doesn’t work well with others, but when Asa announced his acquisition of Lobster Cove, Erico gave his friend, Dante, a call.”
“What kind of food?” Joseph asked absently. His attention was once again on Cullen’s short haircut. He wanted to ask why Cullen had shorn the long curls, but had an idea of what had prompted the change. The need to reach out and run his hand through the short waves threatened to overwhelm him, but Cullen’s earlier reaction to his intimate touch stopped him. He returned his attention to the discussion at hand. “The building looks awfully sma
ll for a restaurant.”
Cullen shrugged. “I’m not sure. I assume Italian, but I could be wrong. I guess it’s supposed to be some kind of intimate dining experience because there’ll only be room for thirty guests at a sitting. Don’t worry though. There’s also The Bluebird Café owned by Carl and Bev Walters.” He grinned. “Asa offered them a lot of money to sell, but they refused, unlike the majority of the bigoted bastards who were still living in town. When Asa told them exactly what he was planning on doing with Lobster Cove, they still refused, saying they didn’t care who their customers were as long as they paid their bills and had enough respect to take off their hats when they entered the diner.”
“They sound like good people,” Joseph commented.
“They are. I’d say they’re in their late-seventies. Bev’s become a surrogate mother to most of the guys on the construction crew.” Cullen tugged on Joseph’s hand, pulling him toward a small white church.
“Do you have a minister yet?” Joseph asked. He’d given up his position at the nondenominational church across the street from the shelter almost six months earlier in order to devote more time to the teenagers in his charge. As much as he missed working on and delivering sermons, he knew he’d made the right decision.
“No one definite. Nate and the others on the Cattle Valley City Council are still going through the hordes of inquiries and applications. They did hire a police chief though. You’ll probably meet Mick soon. He’s been spending a lot of time helping out where he can.”
Joseph was impressed with the progress of Lobster Cove. He was even more impressed by the job Cullen was doing on the project. If things between them worked out, he hoped to convince Cullen to stay. “You like it here?”
“Love it. I miss everyone back in Cattle Valley, especially Mandy, but I like that no one here knows my past.” Cullen glanced up at Joseph. “If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.” Joseph would like to say he’d never betray Cullen’s trust, but he’d done just that for years by pushing Cullen away. He draped an arm over Cullen’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “Would you be willing to move here?”