Desire in Lingerie

by Penelope Sky

  Mom turned to him slightly, her eyes full of warning. “Crow…”

  “Let me?” I challenged, my eyebrows rising. “First of all, there’s been no talk of marriage yet. We’re just trying to get through this right now. And secondly, let me?” I couldn’t believe my father, the man who encouraged me to be so independent, had said those words to me. “No one lets me do anything.”

  “This is different,” my father said. “I never thought I would have to say that to you. I never thought you would be so stupid as to actually get involved with someone like him. Are you fucking kidding me, Vanessa?” His nostrils flared as his green eyes bored into mine.

  I held his gaze, my breath shaking.

  Mom placed her hand on his forearm, silently commanding him to calm down.

  “Stupid?” I asked, my voice cracking with pain. “You’re the one who’s so blind you can’t even see what’s right in front of you—”

  “A stupid daughter,” he snapped. “That’s what I see.”

  I’d never heard my father talk to me or my mother that way. I’d never seen him be so cruel, so ruthless. He’d never hurt me like this, had always been the man who looked at me with love and affection. I pushed back the chair and stormed off because I would much rather wait outside for Bones to pick me up than listen to my father talk to me that way. Besides…I was on the verge of tears.

  “Crow.” Mom’s threatening voice filled the air. “You need to stop this now. Apologize and get her back or—”

  I didn’t hear the rest of what they said because I left the room and stormed toward the front door. Once they couldn’t see me anymore, tears streamed down my face. I’d been hurt a few times in my life, but hearing my father, my hero, speak of me so poorly…hurt me straight down to the bone.

  I got outside and pulled out my phone to call Bones, to get a ride out of here as soon as I could. This place had been my home my entire life, but now it felt like something else…something I didn’t recognize. I pressed the phone to my ear and let it ring.

  The phone was snatched out of my hand. My father ended the call then sighed as he looked down at me. He handed the phone back, a new look of disappointment in his eyes. This time, he didn’t seem angry with me…but with himself. “I shouldn’t have acted that way. I let my anger get to me, and I just…I’m sorry.”

  I took the phone and squeezed it in my hand as my father stood over me.

  “Please come inside, and let’s talk about this.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “I didn’t mean what I said. Please come inside, tesoro.”

  The use of my nickname softened me.

  “I’ll listen this time.” He pleaded with me with his eyes.

  My phone rang, and Bones’s name appeared on the screen as Griffin.

  My father glanced at it before he looked at me again.

  I took the call. “Hey…”

  “Did you mean to call me?” he asked in his masculine voice. “Do you want me to come get you?”

  My father kept staring at me, still begging me.

  “No…I’m gonna stay a little longer. I called you, but I changed my mind.”

  Bones paused before he spoke. “Alright. I’m here when you need me.” Click.

  I listened to the line go dead before I put my phone in my pocket.

  “Thank you.” My father moved back to the front door and stepped aside so I could walk in first.

  We went back to the dining room, and my mom looked visibly relieved when I returned. We sat down again, the three of us. The table was between my parents and me, a thick piece of wood dividing us on either side of this battle.

  My mom sighed. “Alright…let’s start over.”

  My father stared at me, the remorse still in his eyes.

  I didn’t say anything, unsure what to do about the situation. Regardless of what I said, my father wouldn’t change his mind. He only apologized because he hurt my feelings, but that didn’t mean his opinion of Bones was any different.

  “Your father is very protective…as you know.” My mom kept her hands together on the table. “It’s hard to understand, but he’s lived a long life under the most extreme circumstances. He’s worked hard to have a quiet life, and he wants it to stay that way. He doesn’t want me, you, or anyone else in our family getting involved with someone who could be dangerous.”

  “Griffin isn’t dangerous,” I said.

  Mom raised an eyebrow.

  “To me,” I corrected. “Or any of us. He wouldn’t have come in here defenseless if he didn’t want to prove that to you. He wouldn’t take your insults without retaliation if he weren’t committed to making this work. He’s trying…and you aren’t meeting him halfway.”

  “Because I don’t want to meet him halfway.” Father kept his voice more controlled this time. “He kills people for a living, Vanessa. He’s not the right man for you. Maybe he would never hurt you, but someone is going to want revenge against him, and you’ll be their first target.”

  “He keeps me separate from his line of work,” I argued. “He’s private about our relationship.”

  “Anyone can spy on anyone,” Father said. “And they’ll quickly realize what you mean to him. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true.”

  “So if he just changed his career, you would accept him?” I asked.

  “Would he change it?” Mom asked, remaining the calmest person in the conversation.

  “Yes,” I said without thinking. “He would do anything for me. He wouldn’t be happy about it, but if that’s the sacrifice he had to make…he would do it. Would that make you accept him?”

  Both of them were silent.

  “What’s it going to take?” I whispered. “I understand you aren’t happy about this. I get it’s a shock. But I know him better than anyone. I’ve been with him for four months. He’s the man I want to be with. It would mean the world to me if you would just try…just try to look past where he comes from.”

  “And if we don’t?” my father asked quietly.

  “What do you mean?” I whispered.

  “What if we never accept him?” my father said. “What if your mother and I can’t deal with this? Does that mean you’ll be with him and we’ll hardly get to see you?” His voice broke slightly in pain. “I don’t want that, tesoro. That’s the last thing I want.”

  “I don’t want that either,” I said. “I told him that we needed to make this work, that I need you guys to accept him. He didn’t want to do it at first. He said it was hopeless and I was unrealistic to expect that you would ever give him a fair chance. But he agreed to try…because it was so important to me.”

  “Sweetheart, you mean the world to us. We’ll do anything to make you happy. But we also can’t lie about the way we feel about the situation. I know you love him… I saw it in your painting.”

  “But could you keep an open mind?” I asked. “Could you at least try? That’s all I’m asking. Try to accept this man and see him the way I see him. He’s willing to do that for you, because he loves me. I need you to do it too…for me.”

  Mom looked at Dad.

  I could tell Dad felt her stare on the side of his face, but he kept his gaze on mine. “I don’t trust him, Vanessa. This could be a stunt to take out all the Barsettis for good.”

  “It’s not,” I said confidently.

  “If so, why does he go by the name Bones?” he asked. “He’s taken on his father’s identity for a reason. His father is associated with crime, rape, and murder. He was one of the most feared men in Italy. His son has obviously embraced that—along with his blood war against us. How can you explain that?”

  Bones said we needed to be transparent, that complete honesty was the best way to make this work. The second my family caught him in a lie, it would ruin all the work we’d done. So I decided to stick with that plan. “You aren’t wrong. He went by that name for that exact reason. He wanted to be fearsome. He wanted to continue what his father started. He c
onsidered himself to be an enemy to the Barsetti family…but all of that changed when he fell in love with me. He said he would never hurt any member of my family, regardless of what happened between us. He wasn’t the best man when I first met him, but I’ve watched him morph into a completely different person. He’s kind, gentle, and protective. He’s the strongest man I’ve ever known, but he only uses that strength to protect me. He makes me feel safe.”

  Disappointment filled my father’s eyes, and he sighed between his clenched teeth.

  Mom watched him, expecting his anger.

  My father tore his gaze away from my face. “Vanessa, how can you love a man who ever wanted to hurt your family to begin with? Who wanted to kill your mother and me?” He struggled to ask the question, the hurt obvious in his voice.

  But I had my answer. “Because I knew he would never do it. He’s a strong man, but he’s crippled by his isolation. He lost his family at a young age, and I know it still bothers him…even to this day. He just wants what I have…even if he won’t admit it. He thinks revenge will make him feel better, but it never will. He needed to kill the man who murdered his mother, and that brought him peace. But he knew hurting you would accomplish nothing. He knew his father was wrong for what he did to our family. He’s never denied that. But once he had me…he started to change. He finally had something that filled the void in his chest, and all these wonderful qualities came out. Men change under the right circumstances, and I can confidently say he’s different.”

  My father listened, but it didn’t seem like that response was enough for him.

  “I never wanted to love him,” I said. “In fact, he was the one who told me he loved me first…and that’s when I stopped seeing him. I told him it would never work, that my family would never be okay with this. I tried to forget about him. I went on a date with Matteo, but there was nothing there. Maybe if I’d met Matteo first, things would be different. But now that I’ve fallen for Griffin…I can’t see myself with anyone else.”

  “I’ll make a deal with you,” my father said. “Your mother and I will give it a chance. I’ll get to know him, watch him, and see if I can overcome this hatred I have toward him. Maybe I can understand these good qualities you’re referring to. But if I can’t…I want you to stop seeing him.”

  I took a deep breath, not liking that deal.

  My father kept staring at me. “You want me to like the man you’re with, right?”

  “Of course,” I said.

  “I’m willing to try. But if I see nothing good in him, then I want it to be over,” he said. “I’ve worked very hard to give this family a life we deserve. You’re my only daughter, and I have to protect you. You may be too young to differentiate between infatuation and love.”

  It wasn’t infatuation. I knew that much.

  “But don’t expect me to go easy on him,” Father said. “I’ll drill him hard, strip away everything to see the man underneath. Don’t even expect me to be polite to him. You asked me to try—and that’s the best I can do.”

  I knew I wouldn’t get anything better out of him. “Okay…that’s all I wanted.”

  Mom watched me, her eyes heavy with sadness. “I know your father really loves you. There’s no other reason this conversation happened. If he didn’t, he would have shot Bones right between the eyes the second that gun was in his hand.”

  My father immediately tensed as the name was spoken out loud. His temper deepened, and a heavy cloud passed over his eyes. He couldn’t even bear his name, like it was painful to listen to.

  Mom rested her hand on his. “This is hard for us, Vanessa. Very hard…”

  I looked away, unable to stare her into eyes, knowing what happened to her. The father of the man I loved hurt her so much. I knew it took a miracle to look past the crime.

  And that miracle was me.

  Thirteen

  Bones

  That went exactly as I’d thought it would.

  The Barsettis hated me—and always would.

  Keeping our relationship a secret would have been the better choice. If she weren’t so close with her family, it would have been feasible. We would have continued to be happy. She could have given up her apartment altogether and moved in with me.

  But all that went to shit.

  I knew how this was going to end before it even began.

  Crow Barsetti would never approve of me. He would never accept me. And when it came down to the moment when Vanessa had to choose, she would choose her father over me. It wouldn’t feel like a betrayal because I would understand her decision. She could get a new boyfriend. She couldn’t get a new family.

  And I knew what it was like not to have a family…pretty shitty.

  I had no idea how long she would be at the house talking to her parents, so I went to Florence and hit up a bar. I sat at the counter and watched the TV, ignoring the women who made passes at me, and glancing at the time.

  I wanted this shitty day to end.

  Her father insulted me, made a cut so deep that the blade was stuck between my ribs. He insulted my mother, a woman I held a constant vigil to inside my heart. If anyone else had made a comment like that, I would have stabbed their eyeballs out.

  But Crow Barsetti walked free.

  Only because of Vanessa.

  It took all my strength to swallow the disrespect without retaliating. It took all the love in my heart to turn my back and walk away. I wasn’t the kind of man who ever backed down from a fight. I’d rather die trying than surrender. But I remained in control of my impulses by keeping Vanessa in all my thoughts.

  I did my best.

  But when I walked out of that house, I knew nothing was going to change. Her parents would drive us apart eventually. As much as I wanted to keep Vanessa, I knew I would regret keeping her from her family. Eventually, it would make her depressed, and the happiness we once shared would be long gone.

  Now it was only a matter of time before I lost her.

  The thought hurt so much that I forced myself to stop thinking about it. Otherwise, I would keep drinking…and never stop.

  My phone vibrated on the bar. Come get me.

  I stared at Vanessa’s name, trying to gauge the tone of her words. We had a long drive home, so I knew we’d spend it talking about this nightmare. On my way, baby.

  I pulled up to the front of the house, returning to Barsetti soil—enemy territory. I could stay in the truck and wait for her to join me, but my behavior would be construed as cowardly rather than respectful.

  My shoes crunched against the gravel roundabout, and I walked up to the front door. I could just call her and tell her I was outside, but that also seemed spineless. I wanted to make the right impression on her father, and while it would annoy him, showing him I wasn’t afraid of him was the best way to do that. He would never respect me if I tucked my tail between my legs and avoided him. I had to look him in the eye and match his aggression with my own. I had to stand straighter, taller.

  I refused to get on my knees and kiss his feet—no matter how much I loved Vanessa.

  I rang the doorbell.

  After a moment, footsteps sounded then the door opened. Vanessa stood there, her makeup missing because she’d spent her afternoon crying. She’d cleaned herself up, but since it looked like she wasn’t wearing makeup at all, I knew her tears washed everything away.

  She stared at me, looking at me in silence. She didn’t need to say a word to connect with me, to tell me how much she missed me and how miserable she was.

  I could feel her—all of her.

  I’d never had this kind of connection with anyone else. Thoughts and feelings didn’t need to be spelled out. Like her heart was directly in my palm, I could feel it beat in different ways. I could read her terror, her fears.

  Her eyes moved to my chest, like she wanted to come to me and wrap her arms around my waist. She wanted to be buried in my arms, to forget this horrible day had ever happened.

  Footsteps sounded behind h
er, and both of her parents emerged in the entryway. Crow stood in front, purposely keeping his wife behind him.

  Like I’d ever touch her. The assumption was insulting.

  Pearl looked at me with unblinking eyes, staring at my face with concentration. Without reading her thoughts, I knew what she was doing. She was looking for the similarities between my father and me, to see if we possessed the same expression, the same cruelty. She’d never seen my face before, only my back in a painting.

  I looked nothing like my father. Overweight with doughy features, he wasn’t what anyone would consider to be handsome. But he had crystal-blue eyes like mine—which I’d inherited. Everything else, I got from my mother. Her beauty complemented with my father’s masculinity, and that was how I looked.

  So Pearl wouldn’t see my father as she looked at me—the man who raped her.

  If I’d looked too much like him, then this really had no chance. Vanessa’s mother wouldn’t be able to be in the same room with me without thinking about her time as a slave. I couldn’t blame her for that.

  Crow stared at me with the same coldness as before, his jaw clenched tightly. Just being around me was enough to make his knuckles turn white as his hands formed fists. He couldn’t stand me, just like earlier. His hatred rang in the air like a loud bell. I could hear it, as well as everyone else.

  We all stood together, tensions stretching and escalating.

  Vanessa finally broke it. “I’ll see you soon.” She hugged her mother first, her chin moving to her shoulder.

  Her mother held the back of her head as she squeezed her. “Love you, sweetheart.”

  “Love you too, Mama.”

  Her mother kissed her on the forehead before she let her go.

  Vanessa moved to her father next and rested her face against his chest. Crow was the same height as I was, and despite his older age, he still had impressive musculature. He kept busy at the winery, lifting things and constantly moving. He must lift weights too in order to get that kind of definition. “I love you, Father,” she whispered against him.