Infinite Spring

by J. A. Armitage

  “That’s brilliant! How long until Aldrich can use them?

  “A couple of months, perhaps, until they are fully grown. I’ll be putting these beauties out in the garden soon enough. They seem to grow well.”

  It was the best news Anais had heard for a while. It gave her hope and in turn gave her something to tell Aethelu to give her hope, too.

  Suddenly, the phone in the kitchen rang. August answered it but not before picking up another muffin. Anais decided it was safe enough to have another go at her muffin, so she picked it up and took a small bite. It was delicious, raspberry and white chocolate chip. It was still very warm, so she ate it slowly as she listened to August’s side of the conversation

  “Arcadia! I’d heard you were back…. He did? Tha… What? Oh, dear. Yes, she’s here….Well, you’d better come over. Use the tunnel, the weather’s awful.” He replaced the receiver.

  Anais had picked up that Arcadia had asked after her. She looked up questioningly at August.

  “Well, that’s a turn up for the books alright. Rafe’s woken up.”

  “Brilliant!” Anais grinned.

  “Yes, well, no. He’s apparently told Andrew everything.”

  “Oh.” Anais’ grin dropped.

  “Something else has happened. Arcadia wouldn’t say what over the phone, but she said it involves you. I’m afraid it didn’t sound good.”

  Anais suddenly lost her appetite and put down her half-eaten muffin. What could possibly have happened now?

  Chapter Seventeen

  About fifteen minutes later, a tell-tale tap tap tap of stilettoes coming up the wooden staircase alerted them to the fact Arcadia had arrived.

  August went to open the door for her.

  “August, darling!” she threw herself at her eldest brother and gave him a hug. I think we are all going to need a coffee, darling, do you mind making me one? Here.”

  She passed him a caffitiere and some coffee beans and then sat down at the kitchen table.

  He collected Anais’ mug and rinsed it in the sink, along with his own. She noticed he’d put down the coffee beans and was now ladling generous quantities of instant coffee into three mugs, ignoring the caffitiere completely.

  “Anais, darling,” Arcadia began “I’m afraid there have been some…complications up at the house.”

  “Is it Rafe? Is he ok?”

  “He’s ok. Well, he’s woken up at least. He seemed perfectly fine until Andrew punched him.”

  “He didn’t!” It was so unlike Andrew. However, she’d have been inclined to do the same if she was in his position.

  “He did, I’m afraid. Oh, darling, what have you done?”

  Anais was confused. What on earth did it have to do with her? She hadn’t told Andrew anything.

  “What do you mean?”

  Arcadia sighed. “I was there when Rafe woke up. Alex was there, too. He went to get everyone to tell them the good news. The whole household was crushed into that tiny surgery, whilst Daddy was trying to check if Rafe was ok. He saw Andrew and told him that he was sorry, but he was now with Judith. Apparently, he had proposed to her and had come home to tell everyone the news when Jago had caught up with him in the grounds. Of course, Andrew got angry and punched him. Gave him a black eye. There isn’t enough space to swing a cat in that surgery and everyone was trying to get Andrew off Rafe. It was a bit chaotic, to say the least.”

  Anais could just imagine the scene. She was secretly pleased that Andrew had got up the courage to hit Rafe. She couldn’t help think he deserved it. She still couldn’t fathom where she came into it all.

  August put a mug of coffee in front of her and another in front of Arcadia, who turned her nose up at it.

  “Rafe was angry. Andrew was angry. Daddy was furiously trying to get everyone out of the surgery, so he could check Rafe properly. Mama was screaming. It was a bit of a mess, actually. Anyway, to deflect some of the attention away from himself, Rafe shouted out that he wasn’t the only one. He said that Alex and you had been having a relationship under Lulu’s nose the whole time.

  “What?” Anais was appalled. “Why did he say that? Surely Alex told everyone that it was nonsense?”

  Arcadia pulled a face which, on anyone else would have made them look ugly, but on her didn’t detract from her beauty.

  “Actually, he said that you and he had been kissing, and that you’d slept together in Las Vegas.”

  Anais looked at her in shock.

  “I think I’ll just go and water the garden,” said August to no one in particular. He took his coffee and another muffin and left the room, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation. Anais barely noticed him leaving.

  “I… we…” She was at a loss for anything to say.

  “You didn’t, did you, darling? Please tell me it isn’t so.”

  “Of course I didn’t, well not really.”

  “Not really?” Arcadia raised an eyebrow.

  “He kissed me a few weeks ago. He took me by surprise. I stopped him and told him I was in love with Aethelu and did not want him to kiss me ever again.”

  Arcadia smiled. “Oh, is that all? Well, it seems Alex has gotten a little carried away with himself, silly boy.”

  “It’s not all. I did kiss him in Las Vegas. I don’t know why. I was very, very, drunk. I can barely remember it.” She suddenly felt sick.

  “Did you sleep with him?” Arcadia looked at her directly. Anais could barely stand the shame.

  “I woke up in his bed the next day. We were both fully dressed though. Nothing happened.”

  Arcadia just looked at her.

  “I swear; that’s it. I just passed out on his bed. As soon as I woke up and realised where I was, I left. I told him later that it will never ever happen again. He’s barely spoken to me since.”

  “Well that’s not so bad. It’s not good, but I suppose it could be worse. I’ll tell Aethelu what you have told me.”

  “Oh, God, Aethelu. Please tell me she didn’t hear all this.”

  “She did. She’s very upset.”

  “I have to go and tell her the truth.” Anais stood up, but Arcadia stopped her.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. She doesn’t want to talk to you. Let her calm down a little first. I’ll tell her. That way she can decide if she wants to see you. I think it’s best for now if you stay here for the time being. There is a spare room.”

  Anais put her head in her hands and let the tears fall. She had never felt so guilty in her life. She could only imagine how Aethelu was feeling, and it was all her fault. How could she hurt her so badly?

  “If it’s any consolation, you are probably better off here anyway. Everyone is angry and upset up at The Manor. Emotions are running somewhat high. Poor Mama is running around like a headless chicken trying to comfort everyone. Let the heat die down for a few days and see how everyone is feeling then.”

  “A few days? I thought you meant just one night.”

  “I think you should give it a while longer. Aethelu is very upset.”

  “But you will tell her what I said, won’t you? Tell her I’m sorry, and I love her. It was all a silly mistake.”

  “Of course, darling. I’ll ask August to come back with me and pick up some of your clothes.” She got up and left through the same door through which August had left.

  Anais’ tears dropped onto the floral tablecloth, darkening it where they fell. She watched how the blotches formed flowers of their own.

  The door opened, but Anais didn’t look up.

  “I’ll be right back with some of your stuff. I’ve just made the spare bed up. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.”

  She heard August talking to her but was too upset to reply. She just nodded. She heard him open the door to the polished steps and the tunnel back to the house. The tap tap tap that followed told her that Arcadia had gone down after him. She could also hear Baker’s paws clip clipping after the pair of them.

  What had she
done? She’d hurt the person she loved the most. She’d messed up the only relationship she’d ever had. Worse than that, she’d messed up the only relationship that Aethelu had ever had. How would she ever forgive her?

  She was still sat there, unable to move, half an hour later, when August returned with a shopping bag full of her clothes.

  He passed her a roll of kitchen roll to mop up her tears. The tablecloth was positively soggy by now with her crying.

  “Come on, love. We can watch a bit of TV, if you like. There’s no point getting upset.”

  “I think I just want to go to bed, if that’s ok.”

  “Bed? It’s not even tea time yet. I was planning on making a nice risotto for you.”

  Anais gave him a soggy smile.

  “I’m not hungry, thank you.”

  “Ok, love, I’ll show you to your room. Baker, you’d better come, too. I can see you eyeing those muffins.”

  He took her upstairs to a small but well-presented bedroom. He put her bag of clothes down on the bed and then made to leave.

  “August.”

  “Yes?”

  “I didn’t sleep with him. I just want you to know that.”

  August’s cheeks turned red. “It’s none of my business.” He closed the door behind him.

  Anais fell into the bed, and not bothering to get into her pyjamas, cried herself to sleep.

  The next day, a wet tongue licking her ear woke her up. She opened her eyes to a very enthusiastic Baker who’d jumped up on her bed.

  She sat up and gave him a cuddle. She felt awful. Her head was pounding because of all the crying, and she could feel that her eyes were puffy and red. She was still wearing yesterday’s clothes and felt grimy. She rifled through the bag and found a clean set of clothes. Looking through a couple of cupboards, she found a pile of clean folded towels. She took the top one and walked out onto a little landing, trying to locate the bathroom.

  Luckily, the bathroom door was open, so she didn’t have to try any of the doors, although she could hear August whistling in the kitchen downstairs, so she knew she wouldn’t have disturbed him.

  She had to pick Baker up and put him outside the bathroom door when he followed her in.

  The bathroom was as unadorned as the bedroom but was definitely a man’s bathroom. An unopened packet of disposable razors sat next to a can of shaving foam on a shelf. She couldn’t imagine what August used them for, as his shaggy beard was enough proof that he hadn’t shaved in some considerable time. Perhaps, they had been gifts and that is why they were unopened. Next to them was a blue toothbrush, toothpaste and a small black rubber duck. It reminded her of Mr. Quackers, Aethelu’s rubber duck, which made her feel sad. There was no bath as the room was too small, but there was a shower cubicle. There, Anais found soap and shampoo. Both were for men, but she couldn’t very well complain.

  She showered quickly and dried and dressed herself before heading down into the kitchen. Baker was now curled up on a dog bed in the corner gnawing on a bone.

  “Morning!” August was chipper as he handed her a giant mug of coffee and a huge bacon sandwich.

  She thanked him and sat down by the kitchen table. Baker looked up and then went back to his bone.

  “Have you heard from Aethelu this morning?” She was almost too scared to find out.

  “Not Aethelu, no, but Arcadia called. She told me to tell you that Aethelu just needs a little time and not to come up to The Manor just yet. To be honest it sounds like all hell is breaking loose up there. You’re better off here. I don’t think anyone is talking to anyone else except mother who seems to be trying to keep the peace. Stay with me for a few days. I think there are some good films on the telly.”

  Anais felt terrible, but she knew better than to argue. Giving Aethelu some time might be for the best. It sounded awful up at The Manor, anyway, and she knew that if she saw Alex, she’d probably do an Andrew and punch him in the face. She didn’t think Winnie would be able to cope with another son with black eyes.

  “How is Rafe?”

  “Arcadia says he’s doing well. He is in a pretty good mood, apparently. She says he’s spending most of his time on the phone to Judith which is only exacerbating the problem.”

  “Does he know what happened? Did he see Jago?”

  “No, he can’t remember anything. Last thing he remembers is touching down at the airport. He doesn’t remember even getting to the house. Come on. Let’s go and see what’s on the telly.”

  Anais followed him to a very cosy living room. It was much more in keeping with what she expected from August. It had a roaring fire with a pile of wood stacked neatly alongside. A couple of brown well-worn sofas facing the TV practically filled the room. It was sparsely decorated except for a mirror above the fire and a pretty watercolour of the cottage, framed on the wall. Various plants were dotted around the room and a small fish tank of tropical fish bubbled merrily in the corner. It was spotlessly clean and tidy. There was another dog bed in the corner into which Baker brought his bone.

  It was not the kind of room that would make it into an interiors magazine, but it was homely. She sat down onto one of the sofas and watched the TV alongside August. He had taped a series of films and the pair of them sat there all day, only moving to eat meals. It was nice just to do something so normal. She was not usually a fan of mindlessly watching TV, but it was just what she needed today. She was grateful for the fact it took her mind off her own life. It didn’t hurt either that August made some wonderful food.

  The pair spent most of the next day in the same way, although August braved the awful weather to take Baker for a quick walk.

  There was no more news from The Manor that day and Anais resisted the urge to call the house. She desperately wanted to talk to Aethelu but knew that it was a futile exercise to try. She went to bed that night, having accomplished nothing at all. The rest of the week followed the same theme. She enjoyed August’s company, but by the end of the week, she was getting extremely bored of doing nothing more intellectual than watching blockbusters. She had tried to teach August chess when she found an old chess set in a cupboard in her room, but he couldn’t figure out which pieces moved where and soon gave up.

  She heard snippets of news from The Manor, none of it good, from infrequent phone calls from Arcadia. Winnie had shown up to visit, but she looked so tired that Anais didn’t have the heart to burden her further with her own sadness. She did find out from Winnie, however, that Andrew had surprised them all and instead of retreating into his room as they all expected, had returned to searching for Amber and Abel with renewed vigour. Anais supposed it was a way to run from his feelings. So far, though, he’d not had a breakthrough. Winnie told her that Alex and Aethelu weren’t speaking to each other and neither was speaking to Rafe. Alex had holed himself up in his room, staying out of everyone’s way, and Aethelu had spent the week moping around the house, not talking to anyone. Winnie told her that the only one happy in the house was Rafe who was seemingly oblivious to the problems he had caused. All in all, despite the boredom that was setting in, she was beginning to be glad that she was away from The Manor, after all.

  “Does Aethelu hate me?” Anais was almost afraid to ask Winnie.

  “She doesn’t hate you, she’s just going through a lot at the moment and what you did was…unfortunate. However, what is done is done. She will come round, eventually.”

  It was not exactly what she wanted to hear, but she supposed the answer could have been worse.

  There was only one window in the cottage from which the Manor could be seen. Anais found that if she looked out of the window at the top of the stairs, she could just about make out the top two floors of The Manor through the trees. It was pointless to even bother looking for Aethelu, as The Manor was too far away to see anyone, but it didn’t stop her from looking every time she passed it. A couple of times she saw a light coming from one of the attic windows but it was impossible to see who was up there. It could have been any o
f the family. Even if it was Aethelu, she’d barely be visible at this distance. In the end, Anais stopped looking and went to bed each night without peering through the window at the big old house.

  Another week passed, and Anais finally reached her limit. She loved August, but if she had to watch another second of TV, she was going to scream. She was getting frustrated by the lack of information coming from The Manor, but mostly she missed Aethelu. She missed the smell of strawberry shampoo, the tingles that ran through her whenever they touched, the giggling over some shared comment. Most of all she just missed her presence. She felt like part of her was missing. Numbing her mind with television was ok, but there was no numbing the pain in her heart. After two weeks of staying with August, she decided to go back to the house. She gave no notice, as she didn’t want anyone telling her it was a bad idea. She had to see Aethelu, to tell her the truth, to apologize and hope that Aethelu would forgive her.

  She waited until August was out of the kitchen and slowly crept down the polished steps.

  Not knowing what awaited her at the other end was far worse than the darkness of the tunnel itself and it was with a steely determination that she cut through the dark.

  Once out of the other end and up through the kitchen, she made her way straight to Aethelu’s bedroom. She saw no one on the way, which was a big relief. She could only imagine what everyone else thought of her and didn’t want to have to explain herself to anyone but Aethelu right now.

  She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she stood outside Aethelu’s room. She took a few deep breaths and knocked loudly. There was no answer, so she cautiously opened the door. The room was empty and stranger still, it was tidy. Anais was so used to picking her way around clothes on the floor that she was surprised to find she could see the floor at all. She wondered if the cleaner, Mrs Smithson, had just finished in here. She walked across the room to the en-suite bathroom to check if Aethelu was there. The bathroom was empty and stranger still, cleaner than the bedroom. She briefly wondered if she’d accidentally walked into the wrong room, but no, there was Mr Quackers, sitting happily on the side of the bathtub.