Shiver and Spice

by Kelley St. John

  “We will,” Dax said, and the slight quirk of his mouth told Celeste that he planned to enjoy more than its views.

  “You know, it’s getting darker earlier now,” Nan continued. “So you shouldn’t waste time. You’ll want to see the barges on the Mississippi and the wildflowers that are still blooming near the cane.” She looked at the bounty of red-tinted leaves behind Celeste. “But then again, there’s nothing across the road that’s prettier than the poinsettias. In all of Grandma Adeline’s wedding pictures, these big shrubs provided a vivid red backdrop. She said she had a Christmas wedding just so she could show off the flowers.”

  “Technically, they’re not flowers…”

  “Oh, hush,” Nan said, interrupting Dax before he could get started. “I know they aren’t flowers, but they look like flowers to me, and they’re even prettier.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said, saluting her as she started walking away.

  “All right, smart-ass, that’s enough.” She climbed the steps to the mudroom. “And by the way, I am glad you’re here, Celeste. It’s nice to see Dax smile again. And if you do get the chance to come back, we’d love to have you.”

  The door slammed as Nanette entered the house, and Celeste shivered.

  “Are you cold?” he asked.

  She smiled. “No. I don’t think I can get cold now.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I guess I’m a little scared,” she said honestly. The fear wasn’t so much about what was going to happen, but from not knowing, and apparently having no control over, whatever would happen. “Do you know what’s funny?”

  “What?” he asked, moving closer to her with his hands firmly stuffed in his jean pockets.

  “I told Nelsa that when I got married one day, I would want a Christmas wedding. The bridesmaids would wear red, and they’d carry poinsettias. I didn’t even know they could grow this big, or I’d have wanted to get married in a place where they could surround me, like this one.” She squinted as she viewed the bushes and tried to imagine those red-tinged leaves turning even more boldly crimson and covering the old house like a floral blanket. It would be incredible to see, and a breathtaking location for a Christmas wedding, the kind of wedding Celeste had always wanted.

  And now she didn’t merely see a Christmas wedding, with poinsettias and red dresses, but she also saw the image of her groom, waiting to give her everything she ever desired…Dax.

  12

  DAX TOOK in the beauty of Celeste’s shimmering hair billowing behind her as she looked out over the mighty Mississippi, its dark water churning steadily and splashing softly against the levee’s edge. It was an incredible image, the woman he loved standing in the midst of the place he loved.

  Even with its shaky foundation, the Vicknair plantation stood prominently on one side of them, and the waters of the Mississippi bordered the other side. In the distance, large, flat barges noisily trudged their way down the river, and a late-afternoon breeze filled the air. The sky was gradually shifting to the typical shades of a Louisiana late afternoon and early evening, dark blue, deep purple and rose.

  And in the center of it all was Celeste.

  “This is amazing,” she whispered. The cane reed swayed behind her and the wind gently whistled through it. “It’s breathtaking.”

  “Exactly what I was thinking.”

  She smiled, stretched out her arms and let the breeze ripple against her loose blouse. The fabric pressed against the gentle curves of her breasts and emphasized her peaked nipples.

  Dax’s groin tightened.

  Then she looked down at the ground beneath her feet and wiggled her toes.

  He glanced back at the house, at the long gravel driveway, then at River Road, separating the Vicknair property from the levee. “I didn’t think about you not wearing shoes.” He squatted beside her to look at her dainty feet.

  “They don’t hurt,” she said, still gazing at the scene around her. “It’s so beautiful here. I want to remember this forever, Dax.”

  He didn’t look up. Instead he continued looking at her feet, thankful he could hide how the piercing reality of her statement had devastated him. She wanted to remember this forever because she assumed that she wouldn’t be able to see the beauty of his world on a regular basis. He simply wouldn’t believe that there wasn’t some way that he could make it happen. He just had to put the pieces together.

  “Oh, Dax, look at the sun now,” she said breathily.

  Still kneeling beside her, he turned his head to see the sun had dipped a little lower, its color converting from golden yellow to rich orange, an amazing contrast to the blues, purples and pinks of the surrounding sky. She was right; it was beautiful. But he couldn’t stop thinking about her time for this visit, undoubtedly running out, and the fact that he still didn’t know how to bring her back.

  She lowered to her knees beside him and smiled. “Evidently whoever decided on my new clothing didn’t think I needed shoes. Hey, stop feeling bad. I’m not hurt.”

  “I should have offered to carry you.”

  “Kind of hard to do that without using your hands, don’t you think?”

  “Hell.” Again, the reality of their situation was driven home to Dax. “Someday, I’ll carry you.”

  “That a promise?” Her eyes—currently a bit darker than they’d been in the kitchen—glittered, and her long curls tumbled wildly around her shoulders. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair. One day, he would.

  “Yeah, it’s a promise.” He didn’t know how, but one way or another, he was going to hold her, carry her, love her…permanently.

  “But what about today? What do you plan to do for me today, Dax Vicknair? Because, since you did forget to carry me across the road and all, even though I was fine on my own, I think you owe me something.” Her finger touched his chin, tilted it slightly, then her mouth moved closer. She slanted her lips over his, then hummed her contentment when he opened his mouth and their tongues met.

  Dax hungrily accepted her kiss, hot and potent and tantalizing, while he gripped the earth with his hands. If he didn’t, he’d grab her and hold her and never let her go. And who knew what the powers that be would do if he blatantly ignored the rule? They could take her away forever, and Dax wasn’t about to take that chance.

  She broke the kiss, licked her lips, then glanced at the folded blanket he’d grabbed from his car and dropped on the ground nearby. Knowing they would be making love at some point during this walk, he’d wanted to make it as comfortable as possible for her, but after learning that she hadn’t felt any pain on her bare feet, maybe she wouldn’t need the cushion after all.

  “If you don’t need that—” he started.

  She pressed a finger to his mouth. “I don’t, but it was sweet of you to bring it, and I want to use it.” Her touch, as always, sizzled against his dampened lips, and he sucked the tip into his mouth.

  “Amazing, isn’t it?” she asked.

  He kissed her finger. “What?”

  “How hot it is, with us. It’s not normal, is it? The heat that I feel when I touch you, and when you touch me?”

  He grinned. “Well, it certainly isn’t anything I’ve ever experienced before.”

  “Me, neither,” she said, then added, “I wonder, if I were breathing, would it be this hot?”

  “What do you think?” he asked, and moved his face closer to hers, so close that he whispered his next words against her lips. “Do you think there’s any way it wouldn’t be hot between us?”

  She gave him a siren smile. “No way at all. But I can think of something that we haven’t done yet that might make it even hotter.”

  He swallowed and wondered…

  Celeste evidently guessed his thoughts. “I’ll be careful,” she said. “If I feel myself getting pulled away, I’ll tell you.”

  “I’m not ready to let you leave me, and if it takes that much out of you that if things do get hotter, then we may not have any control over that pull.”r />
  “You’re not saying no, though,” she said, not really asking a question. “I want you inside of me, Dax, no matter what. And if I feel like I’m slipping away, we’ll slow things down.”

  He grinned. “So in the heat of the moment, if you say slow down, I’ll just—stop. Just like that.”

  “You can, can’t you?” she asked.

  “I can try,” he said. “But trust me, it won’t be easy.”

  “Well, maybe you won’t have to stop at all. I have rested and I am definitely ready to expend a little energy.”

  “A little?”

  “Okay, a lot.” She stood and unfolded the blanket, held it up to catch the wind, then let it fall to the ground behind some shrubs that still had a few leaves. Then she kneeled on top of it and motioned for him to join her.

  Dax slid his body against hers and brought his lips to her throat, nuzzling her hair out of the way as he brushed soft kisses along her neck and beneath her ear. She rubbed against him, her body growing hotter with every movement, and Dax leaned away from her, then looked at her eyes.

  Smoky gray. The light shimmering around her was a little brighter too, more of a pale yellow than the creamy glow that had surrounded her for the majority of this visit.

  She was getting weaker.

  He licked his lips, swallowed, and wondered whether there was any way possible to do this, to do everything, without forfeiting all of her time.

  “Don’t,” she said. “Don’t even think of stopping now, Dax. I need you. Please, I’ll tell you if we need to stop.”

  “You’ll tell me,” he repeated.

  She nodded, then grabbed the edge of his T-shirt and slid it up and over his head, her hands scalding his flesh with the movement. The heat of her, the heat of the two of them together, had Dax’s mind and body soaring. He needed to be inside of her, needed to be one with her, but he also needed to keep her here. “Celeste.”

  She didn’t respond, but instead moved down his body, quickly removing his shoes and socks and then turning her attention to his jeans. Her hands were frantic and shaky as she unfastened them. “Don’t say it,” she said. “Let me have you, Dax. Let me be with you and know what it’s like, please.”

  Hell, he didn’t want to deny her anything she wanted or needed, and obviously, right now, she needed him. But what if that need took her away?

  “You want me too,” she said, removing his jeans. Then she placed her hand against his heart, and the heat, once again, penetrated his entire body as she slid her palm down his abdomen and stroked his erection. “Don’t you?”

  “Yes, but…”

  She shook her head, those long spirals gently swaying with the action, then she removed the gauzy blouse. “No buts, Dax. I can do this, and I’ll tell you when I start getting too weak. But I want to be with you, and I’ll never forgive myself if I leave again without knowing how it feels to have you inside.” Then she stood and shimmied out of her pants and panties.

  With her hair flowing behind her, she stood above him, boldly and beautifully nude. “I want you, Dax.” Her words were true, Dax had no doubt of that, but they also held a hint of apprehension.

  She was nervous, whether about making love, or about the possibility of her being pulled away during their lovemaking, he didn’t know. But both of those things were on his mind as well. He knew they’d fit beautifully together, and that their lovemaking would be off the charts; hell, her kisses alone made his entire body burn. But if he lost her…

  She lowered to the blanket beside him and then pressed a soft kiss fully against his mouth, then she pushed into him, so that he slowly lowered his back to the ground and let her have control, obviously what she wanted.

  Dax fisted his hands in the blanket and used his mouth, his thighs, his body to move against her as she climbed on top of him. Her eyes, dark gray, peered into his, and he bit back the impulse to tell her to slow down. She needed this, and she didn’t want him to make her stop. He’d simply have to watch her and try to protect her if she started getting too close to the other side, if those eyes started turning black.

  Straddling him, she leaned over, that beautiful blond curtain of hair forming a glowing golden waterfall that tumbled past her breasts and teased his chest. Her soft, wet heat against his flesh caused his erection to harden to the point of pain.

  He clenched his jaw and fought for control. She needed to take this at her pace, and if he rushed her, and then caused her to leave again, he’d never forgive himself. Slower was better, this time. “Celeste?”

  “Yes?” She ran her fingernails down his sides, then back up again to cross his nipples, while Dax hissed in a breath.

  “I’m not usually this—eager—but I want you so much, Celeste, and I’m not going to last long at all.” He winced, and decided to go for the whole truth, since she’d figure it out soon enough. “Hell, I’m probably going to come the minute you touch me. But that might not be a bad thing this time, since it might help you to stay.”

  She leaned forward, braced her palms on his chest and giggled. “I wonder how many guys have used that excuse for explaining why they don’t last very long,” she teased, then cleared her throat, lowered her voice to imitate a male and joked, “Honey, I could last all day, but I’m going to do this quickly, so you won’t be pulled to the other side.”

  Her blatant humor surprised him, and delighted him. Without meaning to, he’d taken some of her nervousness away, and her eyes—thank goodness—had lightened a little with her laughter.

  “For the record,” he said. “I can last, but this first time…”

  She leaned down and, still smiling, claimed his mouth. This kiss started playfully, with her nipping his mouth and grinning, giggling lightly as she explored his lips, but Dax felt her growing hotter as she deepened the kiss, using her tongue to explore his mouth and accepting his thorough exploration of hers as well.

  Her body moved against him in perfect harmony with her tongue. She moaned, and that seductive sound teased every other part of his body as well. His hands clenched with the desire to touch her, and his erection ached to push deep inside of her.

  But he wasn’t in control now. In order to have some minor ability to stop this if it got out of hand, he had to give Celeste the lead. How far they went, and how fast or slow, was all up to her.

  As if sensing his mounting tension, she broke the kiss and leaned above him, her breasts flushed and excited, and her hair glowing, illuminating the remainder of her body even more. “What do you want, Dax?”

  “I want everything.” That was nothing shy of the truth.

  Her mouth curved into a smile. “Okay. What do you want first?”

  He eyed her rose-tipped nipples. “I’ll start with those.”

  She leaned over him, offering him a pebbled nipple.

  Dax wasted no time drawing it within his lips, running his tongue around the tip, then sucking it between his teeth. Her back arched immediately in response, and he felt her grow even hotter and even wetter against his erection.

  Her hips began to move, undulating in anticipation of what they would be doing soon, and Dax knew she was creating that sweet friction between his flesh and her core that would drive her closer to climax. He turned his attention to her other breast, licking it, nibbling it, and then sucking it between his teeth. This time there was no denying that she was almost there. Her intimate flesh was drenched now.

  “Dax,” she gasped, “I need—” she moved up and down his body, teasing his hard length “—you.” Then she eased the tip into her heat and clenched her teeth while she held him there, at the brink of ecstasy.

  He forced himself to look at her eyes, but they were closed. How dark were they now? “Celeste,” he said, but she was too into the sensation to hear him. “Celeste,” he repeated.

  She looked at him, and those eyes were dark charcoal. “I—” She eased down a bit, and her face tensed.

  Dax froze. He didn’t want to hurt her. He glanced down his abdomen and saw that
he was barely inside of her at all. “Celeste, we can stop.” He had no idea if she’d tensed because of pain, or because of fear, but either way, no matter how much it killed him to do it, he could stop, for her.

  She gave him a slight smile. “It’s been a long time,” she said. “I’m sorry I’m so tight.”

  “No, don’t be sorry.” He could feel the sweat beading on his forehead and upper lip. How long could he sit here and look at her above him, with merely the tip of his cock inside of her moist heat. She was getting hotter now, and he could feel her easing open, getting ready for him.

  “Celeste, maybe we shouldn’t do this now. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to be the reason for you crossing over, either.”

  “I need you. I need to know how it feels to have you be a part of me, Dax, even if I only get to experience it once. I don’t want to stop, but—” She eased down a little farther, and to Dax’s horror, tears trickled from her eyes.

  She wanted him, in spite of the pain. But he had no doubt that she shouldn’t try to force this. Her eyes were darkening now, probably due to her determination to make this work, and to make love, at least once, before she crossed.

  He couldn’t deny her what she wanted, and he believed he knew how to help her through the pain. “Celeste?”

  “I can do this,” she said, then she pushed down on him, and winced. “I want to do this. I want you, Dax. I do. I’m just not used to it. And, honestly, you’re really big.”

  He couldn’t fight the smile at that remark. “I wasn’t going to tell you I didn’t want to do this,” he said. “I want to, as much as you do, but you’re not ready.”