Killing Them Softly

by Glenn, Roy

  Sandra left that night embarrassed as hell, but I just never expected it to last all week. I figured a day or two to get over it, and she’d be all right and ready to work. But that wasn’t the case. It was Friday, and I hadn’t heard from her, nor had she returned any of my calls. I’d covered for her to this point. The only one who really made an issue about it was Winston. He was making a pest of himself. I knew that soon, and very soon, I’d be forced to make a decision. I would have to fire her for abandonment of her position.

  I rolled into the driveway expecting to see Taye’s car, but she wasn’t home yet. I went in the house and grabbed a brew from the fridge. The phone rang. I started not to answer it, but I did.

  "Hello."

  "Devin."

  "Sandra?"

  "It’s me. I know you’re mad at me, and you probably fired me by now, but—"

  I cut her off. "No, I didn’t fire you, and no, I’m not mad at you. I really just wanted to know if you were all right."

  "I’m fine."

  "You sure?"

  "Really, Devin, I’m fine. I just had some things that I had to workout for myself."

  "And?"

  "And I faxed you my resignation. It should be there when you get there Monday morning. But I thought that you deserved better than that."

  "Wait a minute, Sandra; you’re resigning because of what happened between us?"

  "Not just that, Devin, it’s a lot of things, but yeah, that’s a major part of it. I can’t come to work and see you everyday, knowing what a fool I’ve been making of myself."

  "You haven’t been making a fool of yourself, Sandra. It was just something that happened, we didn’t intend for it to happen, it just did. But it’s not worth giving up your job for. Please, Sandra, take a few more days and think about it."

  "I have thought about it, and I know this is what I have to do. Me and Ike talked about it, and we’re going to move back to Texas, so if nothing else, he’s happy about that."

  "How do you feel about it?"

  "It’s the only way it could happen. To be honest with you, Devin, it didn’t just happen. I came in your office that first night with a plan. You just played right into it."

  "What?"

  "I’ve always wanted you, Devin. I just never gave into my feelings or acted on them, until that first night. Since that night, I’ve tried my best to act like it didn’t happen; like I didn’t want to feel you inside me every time we were alone. But I had to stop lying to myself. I know that I can’t face you, not any more."

  I sat there in shock holding the phone. I never knew she felt that way; never had any idea that I was being seduced that night. But it’s like Taye told me once, "Y’all just stupid that way."

  While we’re down here scheming on level one, a woman is on level five, running a program that our dumb asses could never even imagine.

  I thought I heard a noise.

  I looked around for Taye.

  "Devin, you still there?"

  "Yeah, Sandra, I’m still here. Look, it shouldn’t have happened. It will never happen again. I like you, Sandra, but it’s not like that for me." I thought for a minute about what I was doing with Avonte and Qianna. Compared to that, what I had done with Sandra didn’t even rate.

  "That’s why I gotta go. You can see that, can’t you?"

  "Yeah, I understand. I hate to lose you. But I understand you feeling like its the best thing for everybody."

  Now I was glad she was leaving. That would be the last thing I needed. I didn’t want, nor need, that type of pressure on my job. I had more than enough going on already. "Well, give me a call before you go."

  This time I was sure I heard something.

  "I can’t promise you that I will, but I’ll be thinking about you, Devin. Good-bye." Without another word, Sandra hung up the phone. I hated to lose Sandra. It would be like cutting off my right hand, but I would gladly sacrifice it. Sandra could be replaced.

  I went to see if Taye was home and to get another brew, maybe something a little stronger to go with it. I definitely could use it. I went into the kitchen and got a bottle of beer, and headed for the bar in the living room to get a drink. I poured a drink.

  "You wanna tell me about it?" Taye said, sitting quietly on the couch. The tears rolling down her cheeks let me know that she had heard the incriminating parts of my conversation. I shot my drink and poured another one, before I turned to face her again. She looked at me. The pain she must have been feeling shot through me faster than the drink.

  "I know it sounds bad," I said, and thought that I should have ended that call when I first thought I’d heard something. Y’all just stupid that way. "But it’s not what you think."

  I sat down on the couch next to her and reached for her hand. Taye jerked it back quickly. "Don’t touch me, Devin!" she yelled. "You’re messin’ around on me!" She started to cry. "How could you?"

  "Don’t cry, Taye, please. I didn’t do anything," I lied quickly and reached out for her. I wanted to wipe away her tears, hold her, and tell that I loved her. But she turned away.

  She wiped away her own tears. "How can you sit there and tell me you didn’t do anything? I heard you." Taye looked into my eyes. "I heard you say, ‘It shouldn’t have happened’." Her expression and tone had changed from hurt to anger.

  "I know what I said, but just let me explain."

  "What’s there to explain, Devin? Huh? Tell me, what you got to explain. What could you possibly say? I heard you!"

  Taye got up and so did I. "Let me tell you what happened."

  She looked at me and rolled her eyes.

  "Let me tell you what happened, and you’ll see that I didn’t do anything," I said, working on the lie I was about to tell her.

  "Okay, Devin, I’m listening."

  Taye sat down, folded her arms, and gave me a look that let me know that no matter what I said, she wouldn’t believe me.

  But I went for it anyway.

  As calmly as I could, I told her the story of me and Sandra. How I gave her a massage that went too far, but I swore that was all that happened. I knew I should have come up with something better than the near truth, but it was all I could think of.

  "Bullshit!" was Taye’s response.

  "Believe me, baby, that’s exactly how it happened."

  "I should have known something was going on!" Taye yelled. "All those late nights you’ve been having lately."

  "I’ve been at work," I got up and walked over to the bar. I definitely needed another drink.

  "Stop lying to me!" Taye yelled, and the tears began again. "I called your office—more than once; and never got an answer. Then you come home at ridiculous hours of the morning, do what you want to me, and then run to the shower."

  "What are you talkin’ about?"

  "You forced yourself on me!"

  "What are you talking about?" I never forced myself on her. Taye was really losing her mind.

  "I know you thought that I was sleeping, but I know when you come in! You dirty fucking bastard! How could you?"

  She was right about that. I thought that with the amount of sleeping pills she was taking, she couldn’t have been awake to catch me. And if she was awake, why didn’t she say anything? "Taye, please, calm down. Nothing happened."

  "Stop lying to me!" Taye screamed, and threw a lamp at me. I ducked before it hit me.

  "You know you’re fucking that woman. The least you could do is to be man enough to admit it."

  I’ve always wondered why at times like this, women always wanna question your manhood?

  "There’s nothing to admit. Nothing happened for me to admit to. I did not have sex with Sandra."

  Taye didn’t say anything for a second. Then her eyes narrowed. "Ain’t Sandra that country-ass bony woman you work with?"

  "Think about what you just said. You know I don’t like skinny women." I fired back quickly. It was the first bit of truth that I could fit in. Taye knew how my taste in women ran, and Sandra didn’t fit the bui
ld.

  Avonte and Qianna were another story. Both of them were just the right size. In so many ways, they were both built like Taye. The truth was, if she hadn’t shut off that part of our life, none of this would be happening.

  "Taye, I don’t want Sandra." And I really didn’t. "I don’t want anybody but you. Taye, please let’s both just calm down so we can talk about this. Don’t do this to me." Just short of getting down on my knees. "I love you."

  "I know you didn’t want her bony ass!" Taye screamed and grabbed the candy dish from the coffee table, and hurled it in my direction.

  Taye got up and started walking toward the kitchen, and I was right in trail. Once she got in the kitchen, she started taking things out to cook for dinner. Then without any warning, Taye began breaking dishes, and throwing pots and pans around the kitchen. She wasn’t throwing them in my direction, but she kept screaming that I was a lying bastard, and how she knew I had fucked Sandra.

  Then as quickly as her rage began, it ended. I looked at Taye as she stood there like she was in a trance. Then she said, "I have no one to blame but myself," she said softly.

  Then she looked around the kitchen and began quietly cleaning up the mess she’d made. While Taye picked up the pots and pans, I grabbed the bloom and swept up the broken dishes.

  Once the kitchen was in some semblance of order, Taye began cooking. I stood there watching her, confused, but not surprised. She likes to cook. Maybe it was therapy. Maybe it was escapism. I had no way of knowing, because she wasn’t talking. I don’t know how many times or how many variations of ‘Say something’ ran through my mind, but I wasn’t giving up.

  I had to get her to talk to me. I had to know where she was. What she was thinking. After she finished cooking, she said, "I left the food out, you can fix yourself something if you want to," without looking at me. The tone of her voice made me desperate to know what was going on in her mind.

  So I talked.

  I talked about anything I could think of that she might comment on. The weather, politics, I even tried my hand at religion. Taye sat at the table quietly eating. She did get up and say, "Excuse me." But that was only because I was standing in front of the refrigerator, and she wanted a glass of water with dinner. She sat back down at the table and continued eating, and I continued talking. When she got finished eating, Taye started to walk out of the kitchen, but she stopped. "I hate you. I don’t ever want to hear your voice again."

  * * *

  Chapter Seventeen

  Avonte

  When I felt her lips touch mine, the indescribable feeling of our lips intertwining felt so good. Qianna was a little rough at first, and then she began to nibble softly on them. I thought I would lose my mind the way she tugged on my bottom lip, and held it between hers. It got my river flowing, and I hoped that she would slide her body between my legs and suck me dry.

  She grabbed my breasts and squeezed them hard, slapped them, and then eased it up with soft, tender stokes. Qianna was driving me crazy.

  She used her tongue to make circles around my nipples. As Qianna bit at my nipples, she used her fingers and slid them in and out of the wetness between my thighs. She alternated back and forth between squeezing my nipples and fingering my clit, while she continued to penetrate me with her fingers. I spread my legs a bit wider, and Qianna parted my lips. She began using her wet tongue to flicker back and forth across my clit.

  I laid there watching Qianna, this beautiful woman, with her face buried between my thighs. I was overwhelmed by the way she held my clit between her lips, and all but attacked it in ways that no man ever had or could.

  I held her head in place, and tried in vain to control the pleasure Qianna was giving me. I didn’t want her to go too fast or too slow, because I never wanted the feeling to end.

  I laid spread eagle on the bed, and grabbed the bedposts tightly as Qianna moaned, sending a tickling sensation through my swollen clit. I held my nipples and closed my eyes as the river flowed again. "Oh shit," I screamed.

  Qianna lifted her head and smiled at me, before attacking my drenched pussy again. Spitting and holding my clit between her fingers. "That’s it bitch. Come all over me!"

  "Yes, yes!" I cried, and quickly guided her head back toward my clit. "I’m gonna come!" I yelled and screamed my pleasure, as Qianna moaned and plunged her fingers deeper inside me.

  At that point, I couldn’t take anymore and rolled away from her, or at least I tried. Qianna grabbed me back, and once again, buried her head between my come-drenched thighs. Then she flipped me over and I literally mounted her face.

  "You are so fuckin’ hot, Avonte," Qianna said, and pulled me down on her.

  I tried to speak as her tongue slid in and out of me, and her finger massaged my clit, but no words came out. Her touch was suddenly soft and gentle, but firm at the same time. I felt waves of current emanating from my clit that spread throughout my body. I reached for the wall to steady myself, and my body shuddered from the inside out.

  Qianna smiled and lightly spanked my ass. As my hands dropped to her breasts, she spread my cheeks and slowly slid two fingers in, inching deeper and deeper inside me. The deeper she got, the wetter I got. I held on to the headboard, mumbling my pleasure and caressing my breasts, and I came again.

  Hard.

  I forced myself to pull away from her. I rolled off of her and she rolled on top of me. Qianna kissed my lips and then slid her body along mine, and allowed our lips to slide up and down on each other.

  All I could do was moan at the site of Qianna sliding her body against mine. The feeling of her breasts against mine made my nipples swell. And when she slid her nipples over mine, I nearly lost my mind. Once again, her fingers found their mark between my legs; they slid effortlessly across my lips, occasionally finding their way to my clit.

  I massaged her breasts, gently squeezing her nipples, and started kissing and licking her neck, sucking and gently biting at her earlobes. When my index finger found her clit, Qianna’s eyes and mouth both opened wide. "About fuckin’ time."

  She laid spread eagle across the bed, and I crawled across the bed to her. Qianna didn’t move at first, she seemed very content watching me finger her, and sucking her clit. My pace was slow and steady, it was almost musical.

  "Bring that wet pussy here. Let a bitch suck it," Qianna demanded.

  I maneuvered around as quickly as I could, and lowered myself to her waiting tongue. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of her fingers inside me, and the pleasure we were giving each other. The feeling of her two fingers excited me. My hips shook, and I began to quiver from the inside. I stopped moving to try and keep from coming again, but I couldn’t.

  My entire body was quivering uncontrollably. I got off of her, but Qianna grabbed my head, pushed it between her legs, and held it tight. I fingered myself furiously, and my excitement only proved to intensify the motion of my tongue against her clit. She began to move with me. When I felt her clit throb, I knew she was no longer able to control herself.

  "Yes, shit yes!" she screamed. Her face twisted and contoured. Her body became ridged. I sucked her clit and pumped my fingers harder. Qianna’s mouth was open; her eyes were locked in mine now. I knew I had Qianna just like she had me.

  I rolled away from Qianna and rolled into the fetal position at the bottom bed. I lay there with my eyes closed tight, holding myself. I opened my eyes when I felt the bed move. Qianna got up and began picking up her clothes, and I prayed she wasn’t leaving.

  "You mind if I smoke?" she asked, and held up a pack of cigarettes.

  "I’d rather you didn’t, but go ahead," I said, feeling too good to be worried about anything so trivial.

  "This a nice place," Qianna said, and sat down on the bed near me. "This you?"

  I nodded my head. "Yes." It was all I could manage after the way she’d drained me.

  "So whose place was we at last night?"

  "That’s Devin’s little a hideaway."

  "We shoulda c
ame here." Qianna spread out across the bed and took a drag of her cigarette. "Bigger bed."

  "Devin doesn’t know about this place."

  "He doesn’t? Now I’m confused."

  "Devin doesn’t know about this place because he thinks I’m still living with my husband."

  "I thought y’all was married."

  "No. At least not to each other."

  "That’s why he rolled out of there so quick last night; had to get home to his wife." Qianna took my hand. "That why you ain’t wearin’ that rock you had on last night?"

  "Yes," I said quietly, and gently pulled my hand back. "The only time I wear it is when I’m with him. I take it off as soon as I get here."

  "What’s up with that?"

  "I came home one day and found my husband with another woman, so I left him."

  "What that got to do wit’ you not tellin’ Devin?"

  "When I met him I wasn’t feeling too good about myself. Like I said, I had just caught my husband with a younger woman, and I was feeling old and unattractive," I admitted to her, and wondered why I was being so honest with a woman I had just met the night before. "Tyrone, that’s my husband, he had me thinking that all I ever had going for me was his money."

  "Oooh, so, y’all rich, huh?"

  "Not rich, but we were all right."

  "Your bitch-ass is rich," Qianna said, and pushed my legs open. "I can tell by the way you carry it."

  "Anyway, when I met Devin, and he wanted me for me, just me, I didn’t want it to change because of money," I explained while she fingered my clit. "I thought about telling him, but every time I think of it, it never seems like the right time to say, ‘Hey, I been lying to you all these months’."