I wondered if I’d ever be ready for something like that. Maybe if we were a real couple, I’d be more willing to experiment. But knowing this was our first and last time… made me want to do all the things I’d never have the chance to do with anyone else. “I want you to tie me up.”
His eyes widened fractionally before he shook his head, chuckling. “No, sweetheart, you don’t want that. I saw the way you reacted when I mentioned it. The thought of that terrifies you. No way am I going to handcuff you to my bed your very first time. What kind of animal do you think I am?”
I was tired of being treated with kid gloves, tired of everyone thinking of me as a delicate treasure that had to be protected and sheltered. Just once, I wanted a man to treat me like a real woman. I pushed his broad shoulders back against the bed and straddled him. Reaching for his hard shaft, I stroked it gently before steering it to my entrance.
“Ti, stop,” he said breathlessly. “We need a condom.”
Oh. Now I felt stupid, forgetting something as important as protection. “Where are they?”
“In the drawer.” He rolled one shoulder off the bed. “Here, let me get them.”
“No,” I said, forcing him back down on the bed. If he refused to dominate me, I’d dominate him. By my estimation, that should last about ten seconds before he lost his mind.
I took one of the foil packets from the half-empty box, trying to quash my disappointment that he’d shared his bed with so many other women. But of course he had. Did I really think I was special? I frowned when I pulled the latex circle out of the packet. There had to be more to it. How was that little scrap going to cover that?
Blake chuckled. “Your first lesson. Go ahead. I’ll walk you through it.”
I rolled my eyes but felt apprehensive. I definitely did not want to screw this up. “Maybe you should do it,” I said, trying to hand it to him. “I’m not on the pill or anything. What if I don’t put it on right and I wind up pregnant?”
Something I couldn’t discern flared to life in his eyes when his gaze dropped to my flat stomach. “If you got pregnant with my baby, I’d marry you.”
I couldn’t help but laugh as I slapped the condom into his hand. “Come on, put this thing on before it’s too late.”
“Trust me, girl. With you on top of me like that, we have nothing to worry about in that department.”
I watched him do the honors. No other man would ever turn me on the way he did. I thought back to what he’d said earlier, and I wished I’d felt the thrill of having him at my mercy the way he described. Maybe later. Guiding him inside me, I closed my eyes and held my breath.
“This may not be the best position,” he said, gripping my hips to try to guide my descent. “It might be too intense. Why don’t we—”
I stole both his breath and mine when I pushed through the pain in one quick thrust.
“God, Ti…” The muscle in his jaw jumped as his fingers bit into my hips. “We have to take it slow, sweetheart. You’re going to be sore if you—”
“Stop it,” I said through clenched teeth. “Stop treating me like I’m going to break. I’m not!” I had no idea what I was doing, but I rotated my hips the way I did when I danced, listening to some strand of music playing from down the hall. I got lost, just as when I danced, moving to the beat and letting my body take over and guide me.
“Sweet Jesus,” he rasped, trying desperately to control my movements. “You have to stop this. I can’t hold on. Baby, please.”
This was what he’d been talking about earlier, this sense of power. Control. I loved it. I wanted more. So much more. I closed my eyes and felt the beat move through me: the beat of the music, the beat of our hearts, our blood pumping, our bodies thrusting. It was wild. Animalistic and completely freeing. The only other time I’d felt so free was when I stood on a stage in front of thousands of people, feeling swept away by their adoration and admiration.
“Goddamnit, Tiana,” he railed, “you have to stop!”
Before I knew it, he’d erupted inside me. He pushed me aside with a muttered curse and rushed into the bathroom, but I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. I fought back tears as I heard him turn on the shower. I’d messed up. This was supposed to be an unforgettable night, and I’d ruined everything.
Thankfully, I’d followed him in my car, so at least I wouldn’t have to wait for a ride home.
***
Blake
I was so pissed off at myself for letting her get to me like that. It was her first time. I was supposed to take care of her needs. Instead, I’d lost control. I shampooed vigorously as I imagined her wrapped in my duvet, feeling disappointed and wondering if that was what she’d waited so many years to experience.
“Damn it!” I slammed an open palm against the porcelain tile. If I hadn’t been so humiliated, I would have invited her into the shower with me to make up for my inadequate performance in the bedroom.
I still couldn’t believe I’d lost it like that. I never lost control. But with Tiana, the illusion of control was a joke. One look and she had me in the palm of her hand, or at the very least taking myself in hand to relieve some of my frustration over not being able to take her the way I wanted to.
I knew it was wrong. She was daddy’s little princess, a good girl who would probably marry a nice guy, have 2.2 kids, and move to the affluent suburbs where people drove Range Rovers instead of mini-vans and sent their kids to private schools that cost more than most hard-working people made in a year.
I didn’t want to see her living that life, dying inside because she was trying to make other people happy. She was a passionate woman—I’d seen a glimpse of that tonight—and she needed a passionate man. Not necessarily one who got off on tying her up, but someone who would take care of her, love her, and support her when she finally found the courage to stand up to her overbearing father.
I toweled off quickly, intent on apologizing for leaving her high and dry before making it up to her by using every trick in my arsenal. She’d be too sore to make love again tonight, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t give her a few mind-numbing orgasms to tide her over ‘til the next time. I knew I was getting ahead of myself by already thinking about the next time. She’d be going back to school soon, and resuming her life, but I intended to make it difficult for her to forget me.
I swore softly when I spotted the empty bed, but before I allowed panic to set in, I stormed through the house, calling her name. “No. Hell no. She did not just walk out on me.”
Why the hell not? a voice in my head chided. You walked out on her.
But that was different. I’d needed time to regroup, to figure out how I’d lost it like a teenager in the backseat of his parents’ car with his first willing girlfriend. I was coming back to apologize. Only she didn’t know that. She probably thought she’d done something wrong.
“Son of a bitch,” I muttered, sinking against the wall when I spotted the empty space where her car had been. “This night definitely did not go as planned.”
Chapter One
Tiana
A year and a half had passed since I returned from Europe, and I still hadn’t gotten used to seeing Blake almost everywhere I went. Sure, he was my brother Deacon’s best friend and now my brother Damon’s business partner, but did they have to invite him to every barbeque, birthday party, movie night… every damn thing?
He looked ridiculously handsome tonight. Wearing black board shorts, a gray T-shirt pulled taut against his muscular chest, and polarized sunglasses pushed back on his head, he could have been the poster boy for rich and care-free.
But I was determined to ignore him or die trying.
“Hey,” Mia said, bumping her hip against mine at the buffet table.
“Hey.” I smiled at my sister-in-law. She’d never looked more beautiful or more content. “How’s the morning sickness?”
“A little better,” she said, flattening her palm over her slightly rounded stomach. “I don’t know which is worse:
the nausea or your brother doting on me like I’m the first pregnant woman to ever suffer from morning sickness.”
“He loves you and that baby you’re carrying,” I said. It would be wonderful to have someone love me the way my brother loved Mia. “He just wants to protect you, both of you.”
“I know.” Mia’s face lit up when her husband winked at her from his post at the grill. “I love him too. I never thought I could be this happy, Tiana.”
I piled some veggie sticks on my plate before adding a spoonful of dip. “You guys deserve to be happy.”
“So do you.” Mia cast a subtle glance in Blake’s direction.
He had a new blonde bombshell on his arm tonight, one I’d never seen before.
“I didn’t think he was bringing a date tonight,” she said.
I shrugged. “Who cares?”
“You do.”
I wanted to deny it, but Mia would see right through me. We’d become close friends since she’d met my brother, and she had the uncanny ability to tell when I was masking my feelings. Especially where Blake was concerned. But Mia didn’t know about our one night together. I was too ashamed to talk to anyone about it, including Blake. Thankfully by the time I’d returned home, so much time had passed that he seemed content to pretend it had never happened, which suited me just fine.
“I wonder if it’s serious,” Mia said, watching Blake and his date. “Deacon didn’t say anything about him seeing anyone. Maybe he brought her because he heard you were bringing Chris.”
Ugh. I felt nauseated every time I thought about the man Daddy Dearest had hand-picked for me to marry. “Why would I bring Chris?”
“Isn’t he starting at Starkis Inc. this week?” Mia asked.
I was still angry with Damon for leaving a huge void in our family business when he decided to partner with Blake. My father had to fill his position, and he’d already decided his future son-in-law would be the perfect man for the job.
“I suppose so.” I munched on a carrot. “Can you believe my father invited Chris to stay at their guest house? Thank God I bought a suite in Damon and Eleni’s building so I won’t have to deal with that.”
“He’s still pressuring you to marry Chris?” Mia asked, sounding sympathetic.
“I told him I like the guy, but I need to get to know him better before I decide whether we’re compatible. Is that too much to ask?”
“I still think it’s ridiculous that your father is trying to decide who you should marry. He let Damon and Deacon decide who they wanted to marry. Why won’t he give you the same option?”
“Who knows?”
Mia laughed. “He’s probably afraid you’d marry Blake, then he’d be forced to take a hit out on him or risk losing his baby girl to the enemy.”
I scowled. I was not amused.
“Where’s your fiancé?” Blake asked me, reaching past me for a set of silverware wrapped in a paper napkin.
“I don’t have a fiancé,” I said, giving him a scathing look when he brushed up against my backside. I was wearing a flimsy summer dress, and it didn’t take long for me to realize he was aroused.
“Good to know.” He winked at Mia, who rushed off under the guise of checking on her guests. His hand drifted to my hip before he whispered in my ear, “You look stunning tonight.”
“Save it for your girlfriend.” When he leaned closer, I muttered, “That too.”
He chuckled before turning me to face him. “When are you going to stop fighting this?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” He glanced over my shoulder. I knew his date was probably giving him the evil eye. “Obviously we can’t talk about this here. Why don’t you stop by my place later? We can have a drink, talk.”
I would never forget the last time I’d left his house, vowing never to return. “I don’t think so.”
“Tiana, you’ve been refusing to talk to me ever since you returned from Europe. Don’t you think it’s time for us to clear the air?”
He was right, but every time I thought about that night, I felt queasy. I’d disappointed, even angered, him. That was tough to live with, especially since I’d been trying so hard to please him. “Let’s just forget it.”
He grabbed my upper arm, keeping me from turning away. “That’s the problem. I can’t forget it.”
Honestly, neither could I, but I wouldn’t tell him that. “Then you’re not trying hard enough.” I shook him off, which wasn’t hard, since Deacon was watching us like a hawk. “I had no problem forgetting it.”
“You’re lying.” He let air seep through his teeth when I rolled my eyes. “This attraction between us isn’t going to go away just because you want it to. Don’t you know that by now?”
I feared he may be right, but ignoring it was my only option. “Go back to your girlfriend, Blake. I don’t have the time or patience for this right now.”
“She isn’t my girlfriend. In fact, I thought your cousin might like her. That’s why I invited her.”
This barbeque was in honor of my three cousins, who were moving to New York temporarily to build a new restaurant for my uncle’s upscale steakhouse chain. Darius, Catia, and Kara were triplets, and we had all been close since childhood.
“What makes you think Darius would like her?” I asked.
Blake chuckled. “Have you taken a good look at her? Any man with a pulse would want her.”
“Including you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“No.” He grinned, making me wonder what he would do if I slapped the smug smile right off his face. “I’ve got my sights set on someone else.”
“Really? Who might that be?” I dragged a celery stick through my onion dip as though I didn’t have a care in the world. Little did he know my heart was hammering so hard I feared it might rival the sound of the bass drums filtering through the outdoor speakers.
“I think you know.”
That was the first time Blake had alluded to being interested in me, and it scared the hell out of me. Physical chemistry was one thing—even when coupled with harmless flirting, it was easy to ignore—but how was I supposed to resist him if he decided he really wanted to pursue me?
Blake was the one man who was absolutely, unequivocally off-limits in my father’s eyes. He despised Blake, and the feeling was mutual. Even Deacon, who was supposed to be Blake’s best friend, had warned me to stay away from him. If two of the men who loved me the most believed Blake was all wrong for me, there had to be a reason.
“Chris is in town,” I blurted, hoping that would distract Blake and give me a moment to catch my breath and collect my thoughts. I was always so scatter-brained around him. “He’s starting at Starkis Inc. next week.”
“I heard.” Blake drew a deep breath, the muscle in his jaw revealing his displeasure. “That’s why we need to talk, before this thing with your old man’s flunkey gets out of hand.”
I should have known Blake’s eagerness to talk to me had something to do with my father’s new employee. “Christos is a very nice man. I hope you’ll be polite to him, make him feel welcome. After all, he’s moved to a new country, starting a new career. He doesn’t have any family or friends here.”
He looked at me as though I were crazy for suggesting he try to behave like a civilized human being. “You’re not seriously asking me to befriend the guy who wants to marry you, are you?”
“I’m asking you to be respectful,” I countered, knowing full well I was wasting my breath. Blake did whatever the hell he wanted, no matter what anyone said or thought about it. I kind of admired that about him. I sometimes wished I could adopt the same attitude, especially with my parents.
“Respectful?” He sneered before bringing his beer bottle to his lips. “Sure, I can do that. On one condition.”
I wasn’t surprised. He always had an angle, a way of getting exactly what he wanted. “What’s your condition? As if I don’t know.” I rolled my eyes.
“Stop by m
y place later.”
“Why?” I’d had two boyfriends since Blake and I were together five years ago, but neither my family nor my former lover knew about either of them. He probably thought I was still the same innocent girl I’d been when I asked him to make love to me the first time.
“Because I can’t go on like this, that’s why.”
His somber tone caught me off guard. I was used to sarcastic, playful, arrogant Blake. But this man seemed almost… desperate? “Like what? What are you talking about?”
“Wondering what the hell you were thinking when you walked out on me that night.” He leaned in, whispering, “Wondering whether you’ve ever thought about me, wished that one night could have turned into more. Wondering whether you’re going to give in to your father’s demands and marry this loser. I need answers, Tiana. Please.”
Before I could respond to his seemingly desperate plea, my brother’s strong hands fell on my shoulders.
“Hey,” Deacon said, eyeing his friend. “Looked like things were getting pretty intense over here. What are you two talking about?”
Before Blake could respond, I jumped in. “I just mentioned that Chris is starting at Starkis in a couple of days. I told Blake that we all have to do our part to make him feel welcome.” Patting Deacon’s hand, I stepped away so I could get a better view of both men.
“You think you can do that, Blake?” Deacon asked, narrowing his eyes at his best friend. “Make my sister’s fiancé feel welcome?”
“For the last goddamn time,” Blake said, pointing at Deacon, “he is not her fiancé, and if I have anything to say about it, he never will be.”
I was stunned by Blake’s outburst. I knew he had a problem with the prospect of an arranged marriage, but I’d never heard him sound so outraged or frustrated.
Deacon turned to me. “Why don’t you go see if Mia needs some help in the kitchen? I’d like to have a word with Blake.”
***
Blake
I knew my outburst would warrant questions from her overprotective brother, but I didn’t care. I was tired of her family trying to railroad her into marrying a guy she barely knew. She may be too intimidated to stand up to Deacon and their father, but I wasn’t. Deacon and I went way back. We were fraternity brothers, business partners, and best friends, but no one had the right to question me about my feelings for Tiana, except the lady herself.
Tiana (Starkis Family #3) Page 2