“Whatever you’re going to ask, it’s none of your goddamn business,” I said.
Deacon raised his hands in supplication, but we both knew he wouldn’t give up that easily. Surrender wasn’t a word my friend was well acquainted with. Neither was I, for that matter. We’d known each other long enough to know when the other needed a wide berth.
“I wasn’t going to ask you a thing,” Deacon said, grinning. “I was going to give you a friendly piece of advice.”
“Yeah? Well, I didn’t ask for it, and I don’t wanna hear it.”
“Too bad. She’s my baby sister, so that means you’re gonna hear it whether you like it or not.”
“Back the hell off, Deacon.” We’d mixed it up a time or two over the years, but this was a family party. I had too much respect for Deacon’s wife to cast a shadow over the festivities, but I wouldn’t let him get the last word in either. “Your sister’s a grown woman. She doesn’t need or want your protection.”
“If you had a sister, and a guy like you were interested in her, you’d be all over him.”
I hated to admit it, but he was right. “I don’t want to see Tiana get hurt any more than you do. That’s why I’m trying to discourage her from marrying this dude from Greece.” I tipped my beer bottle back and drained it before setting it on the table with a satisfying thump. “If you had half a brain, you’d do the same.”
“What’s it to you?” Deacon handed me another beer from the ice bucket beside the buffet table. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. You want her for yourself?”
He had no idea how much I wanted her… or that I’d already had her. If he found out I’d been the guy to take his baby sister’s virginity, he’d haul out his shotgun—not to kill me, just to make a point. “Like I said, Starkis, it’s none of your business.”
Deacon put his arm around me, drawing me close enough for no one else to hear. The tight grip he had on my neck left little doubt about his intent. “We both know you go for some pretty kinky shit. You ever try anything like that with Tiana, and I will break both your legs.”
I smirked and elbowed him in the ribs so he’d be forced to release me. “Or you’d die trying.”
Deacon’s expression was grave. “I haven’t been a saint, Blake. I know I’m the last person in the world who should be passing judgment on you, but I don’t have to tell you that family means everything to me.”
“I know.” That was what made this situation so complicated. I didn’t care what her father thought of me, but Deacon’s opinion did matter. I didn’t want to ruin a fifteen-year friendship over a relationship that may not have a future.
“Then please, I’m begging you, stay away from her. I don’t want to see her get hurt, and we both know if she gets mixed up with you, if she falls for you, it can only end in heartache for her.”
I’d never heard Deacon plead for anything, and it killed me to admit that he was right. I was no good for Tiana. She was sweet and innocent and so damn perfect it pained me just to look at her. I would try to suppress the darker side of my personality, to be the gentle and considerate lover she deserved, but I didn’t know if that was even possible.
I heard her sweet voice filtering through my head as I stared at her. Tie me up. She’d said the words, but she had been too innocent to understand that was only the beginning. I wanted so much more. Things she would never willingly give. Things I could never take. Things I didn’t even want to want anymore.
“Mia changed you,” I said. “You ever think it would be possible, you know, to change for a woman?”
“If you’re talking about my…” Lowering his voice, he said, “Sex addiction, I didn’t know that I could ever gain control of that, but I can’t tell you how glad I am that I did. It feels good that it doesn’t own me anymore.”
Most people would describe my proclivities as a lifestyle, but they didn’t feel that way to me. I felt as if I had a secret part of myself that I wanted to bury because I was ashamed of it. I didn’t own it; it owned me. And I hated that.
I hated my need for dominance and control in the bedroom. I wanted a normal, healthy relationship with a beautiful woman who gave as good as she got. Someone like Tiana. But what had happened between us that night scared me. I was totally out of control with her. I was at her mercy, and not in a good way.
“You okay?” Deacon asked. “I know I’ve given you a hard time about my sister, but she’s not the only one I’m looking out for. I see the way you look at her. You’re falling. Hard.”
Too late. I was already gone.
“The way things are between you and my old man—”
“Don’t worry about Demi,” I said through clenched teeth. “I can handle that old bastard.”
Deacon chuckled. “I know you can. You’re the only one I’ve ever seen put him in his place. Why do you think he hates you so much?”
“Because I don’t bow down to him like everyone else does.” I’d been surrounded by people like Demi Starkis my whole life. They thought they ruled their corner of the world because they could buy and sell everyone in it, but I didn’t share that opinion, and I let them know that every chance I got.
“It’s not your relationship with Demi that matters,” Deacon said. “It’s Tiana’s. She loves him. You know how close they’ve always been.”
“Yeah, ‘cause he has her brainwashed,” I muttered. “She doesn’t see him the way the rest of us do.”
“Look, you know I’ve had my issues with my father over the years, but one thing I’ve never questioned is how he feels about his children, especially Tiana. She’s the light of his life. If he ever found out she was with you, it would kill him.”
I didn’t care about Demi, but I did care about Tiana. I couldn’t cause a rift between her and her old man. “I heard everything you said.”
“Then you’ll back off?”
“No promises, but I’ll try.”
Chapter Two
Tiana
“Tell me,” I said to my cousin Darius, “how is it your sisters get more gorgeous every time I see them?”
“Ugh,” Darius said, rolling his eyes. “I don’t know, but I sure wish they were a little uglier. I can’t tell you how much time I waste chasing away all the losers sniffing around them.”
My cousins, Catia and Kara, were not only beautiful, but they were heiresses to their father’s multi-billion dollar restaurant empire, so I could understand their brother’s dilemma.
“Now you sound like Deacon.” At least Damon respected my right to live my own life, for the most part. “He’s almost as bad as my father.”
Darius put his arm around me. “Honey, I know it may not seem fair sometimes, but we roll in different circles. There are lots of opportunists out there. I know you think Uncle Demi is way out of line trying to find a suitable husband for you, but I’d be happy to see my sisters settle down with guys I knew for sure were only with them because they loved them, not because of the money.”
I wouldn’t have to worry about that with Blake. I suspected his family had as much money as mine did. But with Blake, there were other things to worry about…
“What do you think of that girl my buddy Blake lined up for me?” Darius asked, laughing. “She’s hot, right?”
Darius had gone to Harvard around the same time as Blake and Deacon, but I didn’t realize they’d remained close after college.
“She’s okay, if you like that kind of girl.” I bit my tongue when I realized I was taking my annoyance at Blake out on my cousin, who I hadn’t seen in almost a year. “Sorry. That sounded petty. I don’t even know her. I’m sure she’s a lovely person.”
“Not really,” Darius said, grinning. “She’s a total gold-digger.”
I nudged him in the ribs with my elbow, trying to suppress my laughter. “You’re so bad. How do you know that?”
“She asked me what kind of car I drive within the first five minutes of meeting me.” He stuck his finger inside his mouth, pretending to gag.
“Not my kind of girl. But I can’t deny she’s nice to look at.”
I studied him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. “You’re wondering if you should take her home, aren’t you?”
“Actually, I was wondering how the hell I’ll get rid of her if I do.”
I laughed before giving him a hug. “I’m so glad you’ll be here for a while, Darius. I’ve missed you guys so much. It’ll give us a chance to catch up.”
“Yeah, it’s gonna be great.” He drew me into his side and kissed the top of my head. “But I want to know why Blake hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you all night. What’s up with that?”
I should have known Darius would pick up on that. He didn’t miss a thing.
“Now you definitely sound like Deacon,” I teased, hoping it would take his mind off Blake. “Tell me about this new restaurant. Honestly, I can’t believe you guys haven’t opened one in New York City before. I mean, I know you have a few in the state, but…” I blushed when I realized he was staring at me intently. I held up a hand to cover my mouth. “What? Do I have something stuck in my teeth?”
He tried to keep a straight face when he said, “You got all nervous when I asked you about Blake. Why?”
Oh, God. Not him too. “I’m not nervous.” I shoved him, which was akin to trying to move a brick wall. He was almost as muscular as… Blake. Damn it. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about him? He was making me crazy.
“Liar, liar,” Darius said in a sing-song voice, which sounded ridiculous since his voice was usually so deep. “Come on now, you know you can tell me. You got somethin’ goin’ on with Blake or what?”
“Or what.” I frowned when I noticed Kara flirting with the man in question. What the hell was that all about? He’d invited me back to his place and now he had the gall to flirt with my cousin right in front of me? I would kill him!
“Uh oh,” Darius said, reaching for a beer from the bucket. “Looks like your cuz is moving in on your man. If I were you, I’d go over there and set her straight.”
“Blake is not my man,” I grumbled. But I didn’t want him to be Kara’s man either. How pathetic was that? I couldn’t have him, so I didn’t want anyone else to have him either.
“If you say so,” he said, tongue in cheek. “But I gotta warn you, my sister can reel ‘em in and land ‘em before they even know what hit ‘em.”
As Darius walked away, I glared at Kara and Blake. What the hell was I supposed to do now? If I busted up their little tête-à-tête, Blake would think I was jealous. But if I didn’t do anything, Kara just might be the one going home with him… instead of me!
***
I swore a blue streak as I drove by Blake’s house, muttering words my brothers would have been shocked to hear I knew. I debated whether to ring his doorbell. He had technically invited me over, but that was before he’d offered to give Kara a lift back to her hotel. At least that was where he claimed they were going when they left the party an hour ago. But his car was parked in his drive, which meant one of two things: he had dropped her off and come straight home, or she was there with him.
I had to know.
Swinging my little convertible BMW into his gated driveway, I glared at the single-story house I secretly loved. With a passion. If I’d had to design my very own house, this would be it, right down to the natural stone façade and cedar wraparound porch. It was huge, but there was nothing formal or stuffy about it. It was slightly masculine, but I preferred to think of it as earthy. It looked as though it belonged in this setting, surrounded by flowering shrubs and hundred-year-old trees. When I came out here, I almost forgot I was so close to the city.
Blake claimed his house reminded him of his parents’ ranch house in Texas, but it reminded me of one of my parents’ vacation homes in Colorado. If I could, I’d move there, away from the bright lights and big city, where it was peaceful and quiet and I could hear the sound of my own breath when I danced.
I felt a sharp pang of regret whenever I thought about dancing. I still loved it, but there was no room in my life for it now. Since I couldn’t dance professionally, it seemed a waste of precious time. There were never enough hours in the day to get everything done at Starkis Inc.
I climbed out of the car, running my hands over the denim shorts I’d thrown on over my bathing suit. Questioning my sanity, I tossed my keys in the Gucci hobo slung over my shoulder. My mind ran through the possible scenarios of what might happen when I rang his doorbell.
If they were in bed together and he answered the door half-naked, I would die.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I punched the button, flinching when the sound echoed through the house. I heard his footsteps coming down the hall, prompting me to peek in through the side window. Oh no! He was wearing the shorts he’d been wearing earlier, but no shirt. Did that mean…?
He frowned when he opened the door, as though he was surprised to see me. “Hey, Ti. What’s up?”
“You asked me to stop by, remember?” I half-expected my cousin to call him back to bed, which would kill me. What did that say about my unhealthy attachment to him?
“I didn’t really think you would.” He was still hovering in the doorway, his massive shoulders blocking it.
“If you want me to go…” I backed up, but he caught my arm. Thankfully. I’d forgotten how close I was to the top step.
“No, I want you to stay. Come in.”
I walked into the foyer, looking up at the thirty-foot ceiling. The last time I’d been there, we’d kissed all the way down the hall, my legs wrapped around his waist as I clung to him. I shouldn’t be able to remember every single detail about that night after five years, should I?
“Would you like a drink?” he asked, leading me toward the kitchen.
“Are you alone? I mean, is Kara here?”
Blake frowned as he reached into the fridge for a bottle of my favorite chardonnay, which happened to be his favorite as well. “Why would she be here? I told you I was dropping her off at the hotel.”
“Did you go up to her room?” I slapped my hand over my mouth. I couldn’t believe I’d asked him that. Worse, I couldn’t believe I was staring at him wide-eyed with my hand over my mouth.
He looked at me for a minute, his brows knit together, before he burst out laughing. I couldn’t help laughing too, as mortified as I was.
I shook my head when we’d finally pulled ourselves together. “I’m sorry, I had no right to ask you that. It’s none of my business who you—”
“Stop,” he said as he handed me a glass of wine. “You have nothing to apologize for. It felt good to laugh with you again, beautiful. It’s been too long.” He touched his glass to mine without making a formal toast. “I guess that’s why I asked you here tonight. I don’t want things to be weird between us anymore. We have to talk about what happened so we can put it behind us and move on.”
He wanted to move on? That was why he’d asked me over? Of course that was the reason. What did I think he wanted, a do-over?
“You’re right.” I decided to delve right into it as he sipped the expensive wine. “It was easy to ignore what happened when we only saw each other briefly in passing. But our lives are inextricably connected now, through Deacon and Damon.”
“Let’s go outside,” he said, pointing at the deck off the kitchen. “It’s way too beautiful to be cooped up inside tonight.”
He was right. The sun had set hours ago, and a full moon and a blanket of stars decorated the sky. It was breathtaking, and stargazing was one of my favorite activities. We sat side by side on cushioned lounge chairs.
I tipped my head back, inhaling deeply. “This is the only thing I miss about my parents’ house.”
“What’s that?” he asked, watching me.
I knew it would sound silly to him, but since he couldn’t see me blush, I forged ahead. “I used to get into the hot tub every night before bed and spend some time counting my blessings.” I snuck a quick peek at him, and just as I
’d suspected, his mouth was agape as he stared at me. I wrinkled my nose, rushing on before he could get a word in. “I know it sounds silly, like a little girl saying her prayers before bed or something. But in my travels, I’ve seen the disparity in the world.” I shrugged. “I guess it’s just made me really appreciative. I like to take time to be thankful for this incredible life I’m living.”
“You’re amazing,” he whispered.
I was embarrassed by looking at him so intently, even more embarrassed that he was looking at me even more intently. Our eyes drifted to each other’s lips before I finally tore my gaze from his.
“Do something for me?”
I would do almost anything for him. That was becoming painfully clear. “What?”
“Join me in the hot tub?” He reached for my glass and walked to the hot tub connected to his pool.
I was still wearing my bikini, so I didn’t have a good reason not to join him. Slipping out of my shorts and tank top, I was very aware of his heated gaze traveling the length of my body before settling on my face.
“You’re so beautiful, Ti. You take my breath away every goddamn time I see you. You know that, don’t you? Sometimes I literally cannot breathe when I’m in the same room with you.”
Oh. Wow. What was I supposed to say to that? Thank you? Or I feel the same way? When I couldn’t decide what to say, I simply accepted his outstretched hand and allowed him to help me into the hot tub. I realized I’d forgotten to put my hair up, so I reached for the hair elastic I’d left on my wrist after the pool party.
“Don’t,” he said when he realized what I had planned. “I want to see you wet. Dripping wet.”
I tried to swallow, but the breath got trapped in my throat.
Tiana (Starkis Family #3) Page 3