One House Over

by Mary Monroe

  A few minutes after one a.m. I got up and peeped out the window just in time to see Willie Frank and a thin dark brown woman in a long red wig and short, tight dress stumbling down Yvonne’s front porch steps. They stopped abruptly and kissed long and hard before they staggered to Willie Frank’s truck, which he had parked in front of our house. When I got back in bed, I fell asleep right away.

  I didn’t wake up again until somebody pounded on my front door the next morning. I groaned and rolled over so I could see the clock on the nightstand. It was only eight a.m. I was not expecting anybody, so I decided to ignore whoever it was. The pounding stopped suddenly and it got so quiet, I thought for a moment I’d gone deaf. Then somebody started banging on my bedroom window! “Joyce, you all right in there?” It was Mama.

  “Coming, Mama!” I hollered as I scrambled out of bed. I stumbled to the window and opened it just high enough to stick my head out. “Mama, do you know what time it is?” I said in a harsh tone, giving her an exasperated look. She had on a brown corduroy duster and a pair of Daddy’s shabby house shoes. A thick black hairnet covered the dozens of paper curlers in her hair.

  “Do you know what time it is?” she barked. “You told me you was coming to the house this morning to help me clean them chitlins I told you and Odell I’d cook for y’all to eat next week on the Fourth of July.”

  “I forgot. Mama, don’t worry about cooking anything for us. Um . . . we invited our new neighbors over for a cookout on the Fourth and they don’t eat chitlins.” I was getting pretty good at lying. I hadn’t even asked Yvonne and Milton to join us for the holiday, but I was going to go over and ask them as soon as I got rid of Mama.

  “Well, what am I supposed to do with them chitlins, girl? I ain’t got enough room in my icebox to keep them.”

  “Why don’t you cook them for supper this evening for you and Daddy,” I suggested.

  “Didn’t I tell you me and Mac was going to spend a few days in Mobile at Reverend Jessup’s retreat? We’ll be leaving tonight.”

  “No, you didn’t tell me that. That’s nice,” I said with a sigh of relief. I was thrilled to hear that my meddlesome parents were going to be out of town for the holiday. Now I wouldn’t have to worry about them showing up and embarrassing me and Odell in front of Yvonne and Milton. We had not introduced them yet and I was not looking forward to when we did. Last week Buddy told me that when he told Daddy and Mama during one of their rare visits to the store that Milton had come in a couple times smoking a homemade cigarette that had stunk up the whole store, Mama gasped so hard her eyes crossed. Daddy shuddered and said, “Get behind me, Satan!” as he sprayed room freshener in every nook and cranny. That ominous comment and their reaction told me that my parents had already made up their minds about not liking our new neighbors. But it was no surprise. As far as they were concerned, decent, God-fearing people didn’t become bootleggers. I cringed when I thought about what they’d say when they heard that their best friend, Willie Frank, was a moonshine-making hillbilly and an ex-convict.

  “Well, you can cook them chitlins for supper today yourself. You can still come help me clean them. Unless you got something else planned for today,” Mama whined.

  “You can give the chitlins to Buddy or Sadie. I told Yvonne I’d go downtown with her today to help her pick out some shorts she wants to wear to our cookout. After we do that, we’re going to go to lunch.”

  “Humph! Y’all done got thick as thieves already, huh?”

  “Yvonne’s a nice woman, Mama. You’ll see that when you meet her and get to know her.”

  “Well, I ain’t in no hurry to meet nobody that sells illegal alcohol. I hope you and Odell don’t let them drag y’all into no scandal and—”

  I cut her off with my hand in the air. “Odell and I are not that stupid and naïve, Mama. Now, you go on back home and get ready for your trip. I have to get up and get dressed so I’ll be ready when Yvonne gets here.”

  Half an hour after Mama had left in a huff, I knocked on Yvonne’s door.

  “Joyce, ain’t it kind of early for you to be coming over for a drink?” She was still in her nightgown.

  “Um, I didn’t come to drink. I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping with me? I’m going to pick up a few things for the holiday. And, if you and Milton don’t already have plans for the Fourth, I hope y’all can come to our cookout.”

  Yvonne yawned. “Who else is coming? Them coworkers you went out with last night?”

  “Oh, no. It’ll be just the four of us. But if you want to bring a couple of friends, that’ll be fine. Just let me know how many so I can make sure we have enough food.”

  “We didn’t have no plans, but I know we’ll get a good crowd later in the day after everybody done barbecued and whatnot.” Yvonne narrowed her eyes. “Why do you want me to go shopping with you today? I figured that’s something you do only with people like them ones you went out with last night. . . .”

  “Well, not this time.”

  “Did y’all have fun last night?” I ignored the mild smirk on Yvonne’s face.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Where all did y’all go?”

  “Oh, we had supper at that fish shack on Liberty Street, and then we went to visit one of the teachers that just had a baby.”

  “You must have stayed out late because your lights was still out when I went to bed.”

  “I did stay out pretty late.” I heard footsteps, so I glanced over Yvonne’s shoulder. Milton staggered into the room yawning, stretching, and rubbing the side of his head. The living room reminded me of a landfill. One end table was upside down, the footstool Milton usually sat on when we visited was on its side, empty jars and bottles were strewn all over the floor. And the stench of tobacco smoke and snuff was unholy. I sniffed and rubbed my nose. “Well, if you want to go shopping with me, I’m going to be leaving in a couple of hours. We can have lunch at Mosella’s too.”

  “I ain’t got no money for Mosella’s. Our move set us back a few dollars.”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s my treat. And you can order anything you want,” I said quickly and with a sincere smile. That brought a smile to Yvonne’s face.

  Chapter 37

  Joyce

  I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH I’D REGRET INVITING YVONNE TO GO shopping. I had never been out in public with a woman as pretty as she was, so I was not prepared for the things that happened to me that day. Before we even got off our block, a handsome, well-dressed man in a shiny black car drove close to the curb and slowed down. I assumed he was going to ask for directions. That was what strange men usually asked when they spoke to me in public. This one rolled down his window, whistled, and yelled, “Stop right there!” Since I was on the outside of the sidewalk, I assumed he was talking to me. I stopped first and then Yvonne did. “Girl, you look so good I’d drink your bathwater!” he whooped. Then he honked his horn.

  “You stop that!” I scolded with my hands on my hips. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself, sir!”

  “Pffft! I ain’t talking to you, you big clumsy ox!” he blasted. My jaw dropped as he continued, looking directly at Yvonne now. “Hey, cutie, can I get your name and address? I sure would like to take you out!”

  “My husband wouldn’t like that,” Yvonne giggled. “Now you go on about your business.”

  We started walking again and the man drove off. My head started throbbing. This was the first time somebody had insulted me to my face, so I didn’t know how to react. I said the first thing that came to my mind. “He’s probably got a wife and a bunch of babies at home.”

  “He wasn’t my type anyway.” This was not what I had expected Yvonne to say.

  “What if a man who is your type comes up to you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Would you cheat on Milton?”

  “Well, I ain’t cheated on him yet and I don’t plan on doing it. But I can’t say I won’t.” We continued walking, and several more men leered at Yvonne and ignored me.
“I hope our husbands don’t flirt with women like the ones out here today,” she grumbled.

  “Well, I don’t know about yours, but I know my husband doesn’t act a fool over women when I’m not around,” I stated. I knew I sounded smug, but Yvonne wasn’t sharp enough to know that. I hadn’t even known her a whole month, but I could tell that she was as dense as she was beautiful.

  “I’ll say this much, if Milton is pestering other women, he better not let me find out about it,” she laughed.

  “Would you leave him?”

  She gave me a pensive look and shrugged. “That all depends. If he falls in love with another woman and wants to be with her, I ain’t going to hold on to him. There is too many other men in the world, so I ain’t about to try and keep one that don’t want to be kept.” Yvonne stopped talking and asked me in a real quiet and serious tone, “Would you leave Odell if he got involved with another woman?”

  I stumbled because her question startled me. “That’s something I never think about.” I paused and took a deep breath. When I started talking again, my voice was so hoarse I didn’t even sound like myself. “If he ever decides he wants to be with another woman, I don’t know what I’ll do,” I admitted. Just the thought of Odell cheating on me was so unbearable, I refused to let it stay on my mind more than a few seconds. I wanted to talk about anything but married people cheating on each other. “Um, don’t let me forget to pick up some lighter fluid,” I mumbled.

  We picked up some lighter fluid and a small bag of charcoal at the hardware store in the next block, and then we strolled over to Mosella’s for lunch.

  I relaxed and forced myself to stop thinking about how all those men had paid so much attention to Yvonne. I got slighted again when the waitress dropped our check onto the table. “You only charged us for one meal,” I pointed out.

  “I know,” the waitress said, giving me a sympathetic look. Then she turned to Yvonne and told her, “The man sitting with the lady in the booth by the door paid for yours.”

  “Oh.” Yvonne sighed, sounding bored. I guess if I had to fight off men as much as she did, I’d be bored by now too.

  The waitress lowered her tone to a whisper, leaning closer to Yvonne’s ear. “He asked me to get your name and a telephone number if you got one so he can call me up and come take you out.”

  “Tell him thanks for the meal but he can’t take me out because I’m married,” Yvonne said firmly. “Joyce, let’s get out of here.” I paid for my order and we left with me trailing behind her like a lost lamb. “Let’s take the bus back home,” she said when we reached the bus stop at the end of the block.

  “That’s fine with me. I don’t feel like walking anymore either.”

  “I don’t mind walking. I just don’t want to deal with another man trying to get into my bloomers.”

  Before I could make a comment, another man approached us. This one stopped in front of me, grinning like a fool. “Ma’am, I noticed y’all coming out of Mosella’s. I just had to come over here and tell you what a beautiful daughter you got,” he swooned. I smiled, but my face felt like somebody had waved a torch in front of it. Then he turned to Yvonne. “I sure would like to get to know you, honey child.”

  “She ain’t my mama!” Yvonne snarled. “And you need to get out of my face because I’m a happy married woman.”

  “So? I’m a happy married man. But I—”

  “Start stepping before I yell rape!” Yvonne threatened.

  The man threw up his hands and did a neck roll. “Well, excuse me.” He cussed under his breath, and then he put his hands in his pockets and strutted back down the street.

  “Can you believe how bold some men can be? I get so sick of ducking and dodging one pass after another! It’s nerve-racking!” Yvonne complained. Then she let out a loud sigh and gave me a sorry look. What she said next sent a jolt through me that pierced me to the bone. “Girl, you lucky you don’t have to worry about men pestering you all the time like they do me.”

  She was the one that was lucky. All my life I’d wanted men to pay more attention to me! I couldn’t think of anything she could have said that would have made me feel any worse. Stroking her ego was the last thing I wanted to do, so I decided to say something neutral. “You’d better enjoy getting all that attention as long as you can because it won’t last forever,” I said casually.

  The first day I laid eyes on Yvonne, I envied the way she looked. But she had been so nice to me, I hadn’t felt any serious resentment toward her. I did now, though. I hated her for being so beautiful—and knowing it. Not only that, she was rubbing it in my face whether she meant to or not. Women who looked like me must have been her worst nightmare. Because of what I’d been through today, I wasn’t so sure I still wanted to be friends with her. And then she said something that almost made my jaw drop: “Joyce, that first night you and Odell came to the house and I heard how happy y’all was and how well y’all was doing, I got real jealous of you.”

  “What?” I couldn’t believe my ears. “You’re jealous of me?”

  “Well, I was at first. But now that I know you better, and see how sweet and nice you are, I feel blessed to have a friend like you. Milton feel the same way about Odell and even said he wish he could be more like him. And, I wish I could be more like you.”

  Chapter 38

  Odell

  WHEN I GOT HOME SUNDAY EVENING FROM MY VISIT TO BETTY Jean’s house, Joyce was in the kitchen cutting up a chicken in the sink that she was going to fry for our supper. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. When she giggled and turned around, I kissed her on the mouth. “I was hoping I’d have time to take a bath and splash on some vanilla extract before you got home,” she said in a tired tone.

  “You don’t need it.” I kissed her again. She smelled like lard, but that was all right with me. It smelled good on her.

  “How was your daddy?”

  I let out a long, loud breath and shook my head before I backed to the table and dropped down into the chair facing the sink. “No better, no worse.”

  Joyce pulled out the chair across from me and sat down with a thud. “And Ellamae?”

  “Believe it or not, she wasn’t so nasty this time. She even made me a peach cobbler.”

  “Well, I guess even devils have good days.” We laughed at the same time. “I hope they don’t expect us to come out there for the holiday on Tuesday.”

  “They don’t,” I muttered. There was no way I was going to take Joyce out to my daddy’s house until I had actually paid him another visit. That way, if he or Ellamae said something that might make Joyce suspicious about the number of times I did visit, I would be prepared. Daddy’s memory lapses had got even worse and Ellamae’s was going downhill real fast, and that worked in my favor. The last time I did visit, they didn’t remember I’d just seen them three days before.

  One of the few things Joyce was real strict about was us being together on holidays, either with her parents or with Daddy and Ellamae. Since I’d started my relationship with Betty Jean, I had only been able to spend a few holidays with her and the boys. I made up for it by being extra nice and generous either before or after those days. This coming weekend, I planned to give her a bottle of the expensive perfume she’d been hounding me to bring her for weeks. We wanted some girl babies to round out our family, so I was going to be extra affectionate on my next visit.

  “That’s good because I told Yvonne we wanted her and Milton to come over for a cookout.”

  “Oh? How come I’m just hearing about it?”

  “I just asked her yesterday. We went shopping and some things happened that I didn’t like. I feel sorry about the way I felt about those things and now I really want to do something nice for her and Milton.” Joyce looked away for a moment. When she returned her attention to me, there was a sad expression on her face.

  I held my breath for a few seconds and stared into her eyes. “What things?”

  Joyc
e nodded and blinked. “Almost every man we ran into tried to make a move on Yvonne.” She told me about the two men who had approached them on the street and the one that had paid for Yvonne’s lunch.

  I shrugged and gave her a confused look. “And that bothered you?”

  “Not that much. What bothered me more was her telling me that I was lucky I didn’t have to worry about men pestering me in public.”

  “Oh. Well, I can see why that’d make you feel bad. In a roundabout way, she was calling you homely—which ain’t true!” I reached across the table and grabbed Joyce’s hand and kissed it. “You still the most beautiful woman in the world to me. And, I don’t want you to be having hard feelings toward Yvonne. She can’t help being so pretty. I’d still like to see you and her become real good friends. With them living just one house over, it’d be real uncomfortable for all of us if we didn’t get along. Especially after all the collywobbles we went through when the Copelands lived in that house.”

  Joyce bit her bottom lip, and then a mysterious smile slid across her face. “That’s true, but let me finish what I was telling you.” She swallowed hard and shifted in her seat. I reached for her other hand and squeezed it as she continued. “She told me they got jealous of us the first night we visited them and talked about how wonderful our marriage is and how well we’re doing.”

  I released Joyce’s hands and leaned back in my seat. “Well, jealousy is one of the worst of the deadly sins. In the Bible some jealous person was always selling somebody into slavery or having them locked up in a dungeon, and doing all kinds of other mean shit to get back at them.”