Surviving Faith (The JackholeS, #2)

by Joy Eileen

  I reread the typed print several times, ensuring I was reading what I thought I was. “You went and got checked?” I asked quietly.

  Kill nodded and placed the papers back in the envelope. “You were right, that night when Gemma brought me home."

  My mind whirled when I tried to recall what I’d screamed at him.

  Kill smiled reading my confusion. "You told her my dick was going to fall off. I want you to know that I used a condom every time I was with a girl. I wanted to make sure I was clean for you. When they told me it was going to be two to three weeks for the results, I went insane. I almost passed out when I saw the envelope in the mailbox today." He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a crazed chuckle. "It was my moment of truth. If anything bad had been in there, it would have been my own fault.” His forehead creased with unneeded worry.

  “You're clean.”

  He smiled in response. “Yeah, I’m clean.”

  I stared at him for a long time, taking him in. His beautifully-sculpted face was one that every artist in any medium would die to work with.

  “Say something," he pleaded, his smile vanishing.

  “You did this for me?” I asked, wishing my brain would hurry and catch up.

  “Yeah, I wanted us to have fresh start when you realize I'm the one for you. I knew you would worry if I didn’t get checked.”

  I blinked at him, trying to focus around the tears building in my eyes.

  “Hey, don’t cry. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I was so worried I’d ruined my chance with you before we even began.”

  “You know, a lot of those are cured by antibiotics, so it wouldn’t have been so bad if you’d had some of them.” I tried to make light of the fact that he went and got tested so he could have a chance with me. Sarcasm seemed to be the only thing keeping me from crumbling at his feet.

  “I know, but I would have felt tainted, not good enough for you. Waiting for these results, hell, I thought I was going to go crazy.” He jumped up and swung me around. “Come on; let's go celebrate. Get dressed, and let's go out to dinner.”

  Seeing Kill’s playful side emerge was contagious, and I couldn't help but feel his enthusiasm. I kissed his cheek and shooed him out of the room so I could get dressed.

  “Hey, ready to go?” Kill asked when I made my way downstairs.

  Everyone got up from where they were sitting in the living room.

  “Are we all going?” I asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

  “Yep, this asshat has been such a dick lately. He owes us dinner,” Van answered, slugging Kill in the shoulder as he went by.

  “Come on, Slick. You can ride with me,” Kill said, grabbing my arm and leading me to the garage.

  Later that night, Kill held me against him. My body warmed to the strength his arms seemed to give me.

  “What are you waiting for, Slick?” Kill whispered in my ear when he thought I’d fallen asleep.

  My brain kept me awake the entire night, wondering the same thing. Before sleep finally claimed me, I came to the conclusion I was done being scared. I would take Kill for however long he would have me.

  Chewing on my handful of Tums I took my phone off the charger the next morning. I stared at it in my hand and pressed the call button, knowing that when the person on the other end answered there would be no turning back.

  “Hello.”

  Tears immediately sprung to my eyes when I heard him at the other end. It was time. “Hey, Daddy, how are you?” My voice was surprisingly calm, given the emotions running through me.

  “Hey, baby girl, what’s the matter?”

  Why I thought he wouldn’t pick up on my mood was beyond me. It had been us against the world for too long.

  “Nothing's wrong,” I answered, trying to convey the emotion equivalent of my fake smile through the phone.

  “Don’t bullshit me. I’ve been taking care of you since you came into this world. Now, tell me why you called me this morning so we can figure it out.”

  I smiled at his take charge attitude. His persistence was one of the reasons he was such a good cop.

  “I need to tell you something, but I don’t need you to make a big deal out of it.”

  “What is it, Faith? You're scaring me. I will fly down there and make sure you're okay if you don't start talking.”

  I heard the panic and love in his voice, and it gave me the power to speak. “Dad, I broke up with Jason.”

  He was quiet for a while.

  “Daddy, are you there?”

  “I’m here, baby girl. I'm just waiting for you to explain. I was afraid if I cut you off you wouldn’t continue.”

  “There's nothing to explain really. I just couldn’t do it anymore.” I’d just uttered the understatement of the century.

  “Is it because he was traveling so much?”

  I almost took the easy way out but didn’t. “No, Dad. It wasn’t working. It hasn’t been working for a long time, and I finally got the courage to leave him.” This was as far as I would go into the story. The realization I wouldn't have to lie to my dad anymore hit me, brightening my mood.

  “Are you happy?” he asked, making me smile.

  That was all my dad had ever wanted for me. “I’m getting there. I also want you to know I moved out. I need to tell you something else, but you have to promise not to go crazy on me.”

  “Okay,” he agreed reluctantly.

  “I'm living with a band I met at my new work. They helped me out after I broke it off with Jason. He didn’t take it very well, because I didn’t want to see him after I left.” I skimmed over the part where I’d been forced to get a restraining order, and that Jason had abused me from the beginning of our relationship, but I needed my dad to know I was safe.

  “So, am I correct in assuming the members consist solely of boys?” he asked, and I chuckled over the phone.

  “You're correct, sir. They're amazing boys and they have treated me with nothing but respect and affection since I moved in.”

  “Are you seeing any of them as more than friends?” He was always the one to get to the bottom of things wading through as little bullshit as possible.

  “There is one, but we're just friends right now. He wanted to give me time, since I’d just gotten out of my relationship with Jason.”

  “And I'll be meeting these incredible boys when I come for Thanksgiving?”

  D had finally gotten a call a few days ago that the JackholeS were accepted for the Tryptophan Torture Festival. But refusing my dad was not an option. We would just have to make our own tradition.

  “You will, but we'll have to make it a late dinner. They're playing a festival on Thanksgiving Day. You'll love them, Dad. They're so talented, and they have hearts of gold.”

  “I'm looking forward to it,” he responded gruffly.

  I talked to him for a little longer, easing his mind as much as I could by asking him about Martha and avoiding any talk about Jason and our breakup. I was finally able to tell him about singing with the band on the nights they played.

  While telling him about my new life, I felt empowered by how much I’d done in such a short time. I knew without the boys it would have been much harder. I wanted to believe I’d have been strong enough to accomplish it by myself, but I was glad they were with me.

  When we hung up, my body erupted in nervous energy, and it took another handful of Tums to calm my stomach down.

  Kill was in the kitchen talking to D and Van when I walked in. “Hey, sleepyhead. I was just going to wake you up so you wouldn’t be late for school.”

  “I wasn’t sleeping,” I replied, walking over to make a cup of coffee. “I was on the phone with my dad. I hope you guys don’t mind, but I invited him and his girlfriend to Thanksgiving. He wanted to meet you, to make sure you're treating me right. I told him I would cook the whole dinner with all the fixin’s, and that we could eat after you're done playing.” I sat the mug down in front of K
ill, and went over to lean against the counter, waiting for my confession to sink in.

  “That’s awesome, sis. I would love to meet your dad,” Van said pushing his chair back and putting his mug into the dishwasher. “Hey, D, why don’t you come and listen to the new drum solo I’ve been working on?” Van asked slyly, winking at me as he passed. I wanted to ask what Van knew, but it would have to wait.

  "I think it's great your dad is coming for Thanksgiving. It is going to be a blast at the festival," D said, getting up and following Van out to the garage.

  When it was only Kill left in the kitchen, my stomach started trembling. I watched him, chewing on the inside of my lip and waiting for him to do something, anything.

  “You told your dad you left Jason?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. My heart stung at the realization of how long I’d held him at arms length. His face brightened, looking hopeful.

  “I did, but I didn’t tell him why I left Jason. I can’t have him worrying about me, and I know he would feel guilty if I told him the truth. But I did tell him there was never a chance we would reconcile. I also kind of told him I have a potential boyfriend in mind...if he still wants me.” I bit my bottom lip as Kill continued to stare at me.

  His face split into a huge grin, and he leapt out of his chair, crashing into me before I’d registered his movement. “Thank fuck. I didn’t know how much longer I could wait to claim you as mine. I was dying,” he said, running his nose over my chin and making goosebumps flutter across my skin.

  He lifted me and placed me on the counter. I wrapped my legs around him, bringing him closer, to where I needed him to be.

  “What are you waiting for? Kiss me,” I said as he ran his lips over my cheeks and nipped at my chin lightly.

  He pulled back, and my breath hitched at the lust burning in his eyes. His mouth crashed down on mine making, thought impossible. My legs convulsed around him, pulling him even closer. His erection rubbed against the ache I'd had since meeting him. His tongue ran across the seam of my lips, asking permission for admittance, which I granted him immediately. He yanked my hips toward him so there was nothing between us. I pushed both my hands through his hair to keep him exactly where he was.

  Kill took his hands from my hips and found the hem of my shirt. When his bare hands hit my skin, I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped my lips and pushed into his mouth. He nipped my bottom lip with his teeth.

  “Damn, Slick. You are so hot,” he groaned.

  His lips were still attached to mine, the heat of them searing his desire into me. I opened my eyes to find him studying me, his pupils devouring his eyes and pushing the color to the brink of extinction. My heart beat rapidly as I received confirmation I was doing the right thing in his gaze. Being with Kill, even if it was only for a few fleeting moments, was where I needed to be.

  “Fuck, Kill. Why are you doing this stupid shit? Why can’t you just admit you have feelings for Faith and get on with it already?” Jet shouted at Kill’s back, failing to recognize it was me who was wrapped around Kill.

  The lust in Kill's eyes turned to amusement. Our lips unlocked, mine still tingling as if he were still there. Over Kill's shoulder, Jet glared at Kill’s back, his arm over Amy’s shoulder. Amy's mouth fell open and her eyes widened with acknowledgement. Her sucker hung from her bottom lip, before she recovered and shoved it back into her mouth. I winked at her, my mind too drugged from Kill's kisses to do anything more.

  “About fucking time. You two had so much sexual energy around you; I got a boner anytime we were in the same room.” Jet slapped Kill on the back, wiggling his eyebrow at me.

  “When did this happen?” Amy squealed, her little body landing on the counter next to me.

  My head thumped against Kill’s shoulder in defeat. My body hummed from sexual energy, Jet mentioning it only made it buzz faster. Having to think a coherent thought wasn't an option. Not while all I could picture was a naked Kill.

  “Just before you asses interrupted,” Kill answered for us.

  “Oh, did the wittle baby Kill get cock-blocked?” Jet cooed in a shockingly convincing baby voice.

  “Yes, and I'm going to fix that right now,” Kill said, lifting me off the counter and heading toward the stairs.

  From over his shoulder, I watched Van and D come out of the garage right before we made it to the first step. Van gave us a knowing smile. D scowled.

  “It’s about time,” Van said.

  The blush heated my ears and I was sure they were capable of frying an egg.

  “Where are you two going?” D asked, a scowl firmly in place.

  My eyes shot up to Kill, wondering how he was going to answer.

  “Uhhhmmm,” Kill stuttered, looking at me with his eyebrows pinched together.

  “Kill's going to go give it to Faith, dumbass,” Jet answered for us.

  A groan left my mouth as I tried to bury my face in Kill's shoulder.

  “We have practice. You’ll have to wait until later,” D said before he slammed the door to the garage.

  “Well, that went well,” Kill said into my hair. “I'll talk to him, later. Let's get practice over with first.”

  The garage door creaked open as Jet moved through it. “Damn, man. You’re getting cock-blocked again,” Jet said, laughing.

  My face dove even farther into his shoulder hard enough to leave an imprint of my face on it.

  “Shut the fuck up, Jet.”

  “Damn, dude. I was just playing. Faith, make sure you take care of him soon. Kill with blue balls is an asshole.”

  The garage door closed, quieting the sounds of the band getting ready for practice. Leaving us alone. It registered in my heat-bogged brain that I was still wrapped tightly around Kill. Freeing my legs from their attachment was useless as Kill had gripped me tighter keeping me in place.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “You’ve been holding me for a while. I was going to give you a reprieve from carrying me.” My words were muffled since I still hadn’t moved my face from his shoulder.

  “I could hold you all day. In fact, hold on tight.” My limbs locked around him as he ran up the stairs and tossed me on my bed.

  “We have a couple of minutes,” he said, kissing my neck.

  “If it only takes you a couple of minutes, I'm going to be disappointed,” I replied breathlessly before a strangled moan ripped from me.

  His hands reached under my shirt, his thumbs brushing my nipples through my bra.

  “I'll make it worth the wait, Slick.” He lifted my shirt, his mouth devouring the newly-bared skin.

  Switching between my bare skin and sucking my nipples through the fabric, he had me on the edge of pure pleasure. Heat pulsed through me, centering between my thighs where his legs were firmly in place. My hips shot off the bed, searching for release.

  His eyes smoldered when he glanced up to lock on mine. He gave me a half smile before ducking down and placing a hot kiss in the center of my bra. Kill ventured down and placed another kiss right below my bra before continuing a path further down.

  He continued until he reached my belly button and circled it with his tongue, giving it extra attention. My stomach erupted in goosebumps as the heat of his lips were replaced by the cool air. When he reached my jeans, he nipped the skin right above the button. Molten hot lava replaced my blood as Kill became my life force. The slow process of drowning in a sexual haze began as I watched him make his way down my stomach to the place I wanted him most.

  My inner thighs were damp from my need for him. I was too far gone to be embarrassed by how wet I was from his teasing. Suddenly, he jumped up and grabbed my hand, pulling me off the bed.

  “Let’s go practice,” he said. He even had the audacity to smile as he yanked my shirt back down.

  “So, you want to play dirty do you?” I asked. If I’d tried to walk I would have looked like a newborn calf taking its first steps, so I stayed where I was.

  “I have no idea wha
t you’re talking about.” He tried to look innocent but couldn’t stop smiling.

  I went up to him slowly, not trying to be seductive, just ensuring I didn't fall on my ass. The smile faded from his face when I reached him. He eyed me wearily as I put my hands on the side of his hips.

  “Don’t you want me?” I asked, rubbing my hands up his clothed chest until I reached his shoulders. My arms snaked around his neck as I ran my fingers through his hair. Biting my bottom lip, I stared at his lips and slowly dragged my gaze from his perfect mouth to his eyes. His erection pressed into me, and my vagina jumped up and down bearing pom-poms and wearing a slutty cheerleader outfit.

  “Killer,” I whispered, my voice laced with desire and surrender. Lust burned through my throat. On my tiptoes, I ran my tongue over his bottom lip. His eyes hooded as I slowly tasted him. My eyes never left his as I pushed myself into his rock-hard erection.

  “Okay, let’s go to practice,” I said, letting go of his neck and turning to walk out.

  I caught his pained expression in the mirror and felt a buzz of satisfaction. He adjusted himself.

  “You are so going to get it,” he said as he came toward me.

  “I'm looking forward to it,” I replied before winking at him and opening the door to go downstairs.

  Chapter 14

  He reached me before I could open the garage door, and smacked me on the ass while opening the door for me. He entered the garage with a satisfied look on his face.

  “About time,” D grumbled. He looked us up and down as if he was trying to figure out how far we’d gone in the short time we’d been away.

  Van was behind his drums, shaking his head at D.

  “I never took you for a minute man. Poor Faith. If you need me, I'll sacrifice myself to help you out,” Jet said with a smile.

  Blood rushed to my face. I walked over to the microphone and adjusted it to the right height.

  “Shut up, Jet,” Kill snapped, coming over to help me fix the mic stand.

  “I’m just saying...”

  “Jet, behave,” Amy commanded from her spot on her chair, blowing me a kiss after her reprimand.