Take My Breath Away

by Wendy L. Wilson

  “I love watching you with your Dad,” he whispers in my ear as he pulls his head back to look at me.

  Over his shoulder, I catch a glimpse of Abby walking up, rolling her eyes.

  “Get a room,” she says sarcastically on her way out the door.

  I spit out a giggle and roll my eyes back as Judd laughs, pulling away from our embrace only a fraction. Good, because I want him close every second.

  “I’m headed over to Piper’s for a bit. I’ll be back later. Will you guys still be here?”

  I nod my head as she snatches up her purse and darts out the door.

  After a perfect day of hanging out with my parents, a trip to the store with a fun layover in the ball field parking lot and after showing him stacks of pictures of me as a kid; we disappear to my bedroom to be alone.

  “So, will you ever be able to play again?” I ask Judd as he lies on my bed with his hands clasped behind his head.

  Sitting with my legs wound together like a pretzel beside him, I run my hand over his stomach and feel his muscles tense up beneath his shirt. He smiles, watching me with utter fascination.

  “No, my shoulder injury ended that. It’s actually a pretty common injury for football players, but given the extent of mine, the doctor said I should never play again.”

  My heart hurts knowing that he lost something he loved so much. Wanting to be close to him in any way possible, I slip my hand under his shirt and move in a slow caress up to his rib cage. The heat from his skin radiates through my own, creating goose bumps and the hair to rise on my arms.

  As my hand grazes his shoulder, he adds in a low tone, “It actually still hurts. If I pick something up too sudden there’s a jolt of pain.”

  I grit my teeth thinking of how many times in the last forty-eight hours that I have crawled up his body as if I am a rambunctious child climbing a tree.

  “You know, even if it wasn’t for my shoulder, I still would not have made it to California in time for this season’s opening game, let alone training.” He sits up suddenly, pulling my hand out from under his shirt in the process. “You better stop that or we’re going to have to leave your parent’s house and take a road trip back to my apartment this time.” Laughing, he folds his legs in to sit like me.

  Sitting the opposite direction, he rests one arm along my leg and brings the other hand to my face. His soft touch across my cheek has me closing my eyes and pressing my face into his hand, yearning for him. I love the way he touches me.

  “Either way . . . if it hadn’t been for that wreck I would be clear across the country and would have never found you.” I instantly flutter my eyes open as he goes on, “If football is the sacrifice I had to make to be with you, then I will gladly take that trade.”

  With his words, I throw myself forward into his embrace with a kiss that says everything that I don’t have words for. I melt into him, his arms holding tightly around my body.

  As I bury my face into his chest, my eyes zone in on the tattoo that I’ve never thought to ask about, which is peeking out from beneath his shirt sleeve. I worm my arm up between us, to trace my fingers over the black ink and intricate details. Judd pulls away, letting me have room to inspect it. He doesn’t offer up any information; he just stares at my face as I look, still keeping his hands at my back.

  “When did you get this?” I never noticed it before so I know it had to have been this summer.

  “When I got the brace off my arm.” He looks down at his arm with a troubled look in his eyes, before glancing back at me. “It seemed fitting at the time.” He smiles, drawing me closer, but closing the subject.

  We spend most of the afternoon talking, moving from topic to topic and learning much more about each other. I figure out quickly that the matter of his mom’s passing is somewhat off limits by the way he deters the conversation, so I make sure to steer away from that, knowing he will tell me when he is ready.

  Later, my sister Andrea stops by along with her husband and kids. My nephews chase Judd around like he is a big kid and he is totally enamored with them. They flip and fall all over each other in the back yard while my sisters and I clean up after dinner.

  That night, we respect my parent’s wishes and retreat to separate rooms to sleep.

  I toss and turn, feeling empty without his warm body beside me.

  After nearly an hour of lying without him, the hinges on my door let out a quiet popping sound that I have become accustomed to. I sit up in a hurry, excitement coursing through me. Judd stands in the doorway, fully clothed and drenched in the soft glow of the moonlight.

  A couple strides and he is by my side, covering my body with his own. He kisses me deeply and then slides to my side with his arms tightly securing me against him. This is where I belong; in his arms.

  It doesn’t take long before we both drift off into a peaceful sleep; our slow steady breaths sinking into one. In those few moments before sleep captures me, all I can think about is how perfect this day was and how thankful I am for bringing him home for the weekend to meet my parents.

  SUNDAY GOES BY IN A flash and then we are back in route to Rosemore.

  “So, where to?” Judd asks a few minutes out from the city. “Your apartment or mine, because I’m not letting you out of my sight, yet.” He sneaks a quick smile in my direction that makes my toes tingle and pulse race.

  “Mine,” I say with no hesitation. I want complete privacy with him while I can have it.

  Casting me a skeptical, concerned look before steering the truck onto the exit ramp, Judd questions my answer, “You sure? I know Evan can be intrusive but he won’t be sleeping across from us. I’m not sure . . .”

  Excitement bubbles into my chest and I quickly cut him off, “No, no, no . . . I don’t mind Evan at all.” I burst out laughing and add, “That is, if he stays out of the room while we’re in bed, but no . . .” I take a breath, realizing I forgot to tell him about the text I got the other night. “Bethany actually texted me and said she is staying at her parents until Tuesday so we should be good until then.”

  Judd’s face lights up and he takes the very next right that leads to my apartment.

  “That works for me. I can run home in the morning for clothes. After that, we can go to my apartment and take it day by day, but we are not staying in separate places. That has gone on for far too long.”

  His eyes widen as he says the last part of the sentence. I know exactly what he means. I don’t want to be without him for another second either.

  I slide over on the seat and snuggle as closely as I can to him, curling my arms around his right bicep.

  “Staying at my apartment gives us more time to stay in bed since we are closer to class, you know?”

  He squirms beside me with his dimple dipping deep into his cheek as he flashes me a huge grin.

  After throwing the truck in park, we hop out and make the small trek across the lot to my door.

  “So have you decided when you are going to tell Bethany?” His question comes out of nowhere, but I know it needs to be discussed.

  “I’m just going to wait, at least until later this week.” Feeling uneasy about bringing up the next part, my mouth instantly feels dry and my heart thuds hard in my chest. “I also need to tell Kyle.”

  His jaw tenses and he stares past me as we come to the door to my apartment.

  Fumbling around in my purse for my keys, I look dead ahead at him trying to gauge whether I’ve upset him.

  “We are only friends and I don’t owe him an explanation, but I just want him to know . . .” I jab my keys into the door, looking away from Judd as I go on, “ . . . I want him to know that I am with you. I already told him I fell in love with someone else, but he needs to know why things will be different now.”

  As soon as we both step into the living room, I throw down my stuff and move over to the couch. Judd follows me and we both sit a little further from each other and a little less comfortable than I would like us to be.

  With his e
lbows on his knees and his forehead hung into his hands, he lets out a defeated sigh and I immediately know how deeply this is bothering him.

  “Hey . . .” my hand molds to his and he immediately looks into my eyes. “I love you. I am yours, you know that, right?”

  Judd gives me a weak smile and then moves closer to me, pulling my face to his. “Promise?”

  “I promise . . . I love only you,” I whisper, inching closer to his mouth like I am being drawn in.

  His lips meet mine and with that one single kiss, everything is fine.

  Breathlessly pulling away, Judd looks me in the eyes.

  “Ok, then do whatever you need to do. I don’t exactly trust your ex, considering he lied and cost me my entire summer with you, but I trust you.”

  In the end, we both agreed to ride out the week enjoying each other and wait to break the news later. We know it will set off a whirl wind of drama and right now we want to revel in each other’s company and not worry about anyone else’s hurt feelings. It may be selfish, but I have to admit that I just want Judd all to myself.

  Only a couple days back together and it feels as though not a moment has passed since this summer. I’m not sure if I will ever again be able to sleep without feeling the heat of his body next to mine.

  We move like magnets through the night; I move and Judd rolls with me, never breaking our contact. The slightest brush of his skin sends jolts of electricity through my body, curling my toes and making my body hum.

  Monday morning comes way too soon and we barely have enough time to get ready. We compared our schedules and they coincide pretty well on Mondays, however Tuesday will leave us little time to see each other.

  Judd decides to go back to his apartment for a fresh pair of clothes and a shower, but first, gives me a long kiss goodbye while I fight the urge of dragging him back to bed.

  I get cleaned up in a frenzy hoping that if I hurry that maybe he will be back faster. The mornings are getting chillier so I decide on a v-neck chenille leopard print sweater with leggings and my boots. I have to work at noon so I have to ditch my sweatshirt and yoga pants for something a little dressier. After racing into the bathroom, I dab on a little makeup, run a brush through my hair and am ready to go.

  As soon as the front door opens and Judd walks in, my day is already perfect. Walking out of the bathroom, I move my eyes from his head to his toes, marveling over how gorgeous he is. He stands there with a slight grin on his face, in snug jeans, a long sleeve shirt and sneakers. He knows I’m ogling him, but by the way his eyes sweep over me, I can tell he is doing the same.

  “I can’t get used to seeing you in clothes and not a swim suit,” he says in a low, seductive tone as he buries his face into my hair. “You smell so good.”

  Oh goodness. I really wish we didn’t have classes this morning. I laugh, knowing he would be completely happy skipping class and staying in bed all day. I force myself to pull him out of the door and down to his truck so we can start our day, all the while knowing I will be counting down the hours until we are at each other’s side again.

  The day creeps by slower than any day I’ve ever known, but finally I’m off work.

  Exiting the back door of the dentist’s office, I find Judd waiting for me in his truck, vigorously hitting buttons on his phone. By the disturbed look on his face, my guess would be that he is texting Tristan. He didn’t tell me much about the situation between him and his brother, but from what I gathered, Tristan seems to be dealing with a lot after the wreck and it has been weighing heavily on Judd’s mind.

  Hurrying over to the truck, my heart jumps into my throat with excitement. I can’t wait to be in his arms. I hop up into his window, leaning over the door with my feet dangling beneath me to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. He snaps his head up to attention, abandoning his phone in his lap and instantly captures my face in his hands for a more intimate kiss.

  With Bethany being out of town for one more night, we head back to my apartment for the night with a brief layover at Judd’s place for some extra clothes.

  An hour later, we are vegged out on the couch in each other’s arms, talking and goofing off. Of course, that doesn’t last long.

  At a little past 7:00 we end up cuddling in bed, completely mesmerized with each other and enjoying a rare comfortable silence. My head nuzzles against his chest, filling my mind with the sounds of his heartbeat while his hand traces a path from my shoulders to my lower back over and over again. I tilt my head to look up at him and can’t believe this is my life. How did I get so lucky to find him exactly when I needed him most?

  He reaches his hand behind his head to support his neck, lifting up to study my face. “What are you thinking about?” His low, soothing tone sends goose bumps coursing over the surface of my skin.

  “I was just thinking how crazy it is that one of the happiest times of my life came at one of the saddest times of my life. You know meeting you but then probably losing . . .” I trail off unable to say the words.

  Judd moves his hand to my face, softly running his fingers across my cheek. “Have you ever thought that maybe it is happening that way for a reason; kind of balancing the scale?”

  I stare into his eyes as he continues gentle strokes across my skin. His eyes are filled with compassion and understanding and I only wish I knew how he lost his mom. I wonder if she had cancer or a progressive sickness like my dad. Did he go through what I am going through?

  “Sometimes the loss of a loved one can drive a person insane with grief. I know you are strong but maybe this is just a way to help you cope. Maybe fate intervened at the perfect time, so you wouldn’t have to face this alone.”

  I pull myself up to a sitting position and Judd does the same. After grabbing my hand in his, he places both our hands flat on his chest. Spreading my hand out one finger at a time, I feel the warmth of his skin and silent, rhythmic thuds of his heart while he carefully outlines each of my fingers with soft strokes of his thumb.

  “How did you handle it?” I know I may be intruding on a painful memory of his; one he may not be ready to share, but I really need to know.

  He stops moving, lacing his fingers through mine and pulling them down onto his lap. A heavy sigh moves over his lips as he studies our joined hands like they may lend him strength and courage to discuss this further.

  “I didn’t, really.” The pain in his voice is evident and I immediately regret asking.

  “I just went from one day to the next; moving on because I had to,” he pauses and looks up at me, “ . . . until I met you. That was the first time I felt real happiness since she passed away. I didn’t remember what truly laughing was until you came along.” Looking back down, a gentle heartfelt smile touches his lips. “Sure, Evan could always manage to make me laugh but you . . . with you . . . I really laugh. With you, I see a happy future for the first time in my life.” Judd looks up to my ceiling, trying to conceal his emotion, but I can tell this is difficult for him.

  He pauses, regains his composure and goes on, “You know, I think your dad is more worried about how everyone he loves will be affected by all this, rather than scared of what will happen to him. I think he has made peace with it. I think he is grateful for the time he has had. He knows there is no promise as to how long each of our lives are going to be or how each of our ends will come, but he knows he has lived the best he could. And I truly believe he is ok with that. He just worries about if you all will be able to let him go when the time comes.”

  My eyes swim with tears and my breath catches in my throat as I struggle to take in air. Judd pulls me closer; his arms blanketing me with comfort, but I lean back wanting to look at him. I am completely amazed that he summed up my dad so wonderfully after only knowing him for such a short time.

  “You learned all that from one weekend with my dad?” I say in utter disbelief and wonder.

  “Well, I have to admit. You have some pretty awesome parents and your dad is one of a kind. I wish my . . .” he stops tal
king mid-sentence and places a small kiss to my forehead. “He loves you so much.”

  My heart flutters as he pulls me against him.

  His lips seal over mine and he slowly rolls me onto my back, engulfing my body with his. Sucking and licking at my lower lip first, his moist lips gently work their way down to my jaw.

  My head falls back against the soft pillow, allowing him unlimited access to my neck. Everything feels so right when he is near. His hands lightly graze under my sweater, lifting it inch by inch until it is pulled over my head.

  He unhooks the front clasp of my bra and places small soft kisses along my shoulders as he slides the straps down. His hard chest lands back against my body and his lips are back on me.

  “I love you, Alyssa,” he says into my mouth as I fight to control my breathing.

  I open my mouth to whisper my heart back to him, but the slamming of the front door has every nerve in my body on high alert.

  Judd and I jump up in a flash, my eyes wide in alarm. He tears my bra and sweater up off the floor and tosses them to me, clearly aware of my concern.

  My eyes scan the room while I try to assess the situation.

  “I’m not climbing out the window. If that’s what you’re thinking, you can forget about it.” He gives me a crooked grin, obviously thinking I am searching for an escape route.

  I cover my mouth to keep from laughing not wanting to make any noise that will alert our company to our presence.

  As soon as I am dressed, I shoot over to the door with Judd by my side, firmly holding my trembling hand. I feel as if I’m about to board a plane that is destined to crash.

  “I guess it’s time you talk to her. You want me to wait in here or come out with you?”

  I take a deep breath and bounce onto my tiptoes, leaning into him. “No, I better do this alone. She is going to freak as it is, but if she sees you here she’s liable to tackle me,” I whisper into his ear.

  Honestly, I have no idea what her reaction is going to be. I know she was hell bent on getting Judd in the sack only a few days ago, but I’m not sure how deep her feelings ran for him. Either way, walking in and finding us curled up together in bed is not the way to approach this. She is going to be pissed, so I have to explain the situation so she understands that there was something between Judd and me prior to her setting her sights on him. I may have to answer for the fact that I never told my best friend about my summer romance though.