The Road To Heaven: A Reverse Harem Contemporary Romance (The Allendale Four Book 3)

by Angel Lawson

“I hope you’re right,” she said. “Because I’m not going to be collateral damage when it blows up.”

  Sabine hung up and I tossed the phone on the bench next to me. I ran my hands through my hair while a million thoughts ran through my mind. Would people dig into my past with Heaven? Would they find out and expose our unconventional relationship to the world? Did I care? I thought maybe I did but after last night, I wasn’t sure. I also knew I could handle the scrutiny, but Heaven? She didn’t deserve it. She’d been so nervous just taking her place on the red carpet. A place she earned. Once she relaxed, she’d been so fucking happy the night before. So confident. She’d found her place in the world and the last thing I needed to do was screw it up.

  30

  Heaven

  Since the show was on hiatus, I had more time to be helpful with Hayden’s recovery. Two days after the party I drove over to the gym in search of Oliver or Jackson to figure out what needed to be done. Chauffer? Gym partner? The premiere had gone so well that I wanted to spend more time with him.

  Preferably without cameras.

  I made my way up the staircase toward the guys’ office when Jackson stepped into view. I stopped short, thrown off at seeing him even though I’d expected to run into him. I never got used to his handsome face. Never.

  “Hi,” he said, cramming his hands into his pockets. He looked good of course, V-neck sweater that clung to his muscular arms and tapered around his hips. That lock of curly blond hair hung in his eyes, desperate for me to push it aside. I kept my distance and nodded in greeting.

  “Sounds like you had fun with Hayden the other night.”

  “Yeah, we did.”

  “He said your work is fantastic and that you should be proud.”

  The compliment from Hayden and hearing it from Jackson meant more to me than I expected. “I’m not used to saying so, but yeah, I am proud. The series is good. I’ve got a great team.”

  He clutched the metal railing. The clank of weights hitting one another echoed up the stairwell. The stairwell seemed to shrink around us. I couldn’t escape the scent of his detergent. The heat from his body.

  “Did you tell Oliver or Hayden about Spencer?” I asked. We hadn’t spoken since that day.

  He shook his head. “I decided you punching him in the face was enough of a beatdown for the time being.”

  “Good idea.”

  “I thought so.”

  “Have you thought any more about my question from the other day?” I asked. “About what you want?”

  My question surprised him and this time he was knocked off guard. It felt good to have the upper hand for once.

  When he recovered he smiled slowly, revealing the dimple in his cheek, and I knew a smirk was only a breath away. He still hadn’t replied, and I knew very well what his hesitation meant.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever wavered on what I wanted,” he finally admitted.

  “So maybe we’re not finished.”

  We’d been tiptoeing around the truth for so long, but it was time to clear the air. “No, I don’t think so.”

  He took a step down and I took one up and his hand reached for me, brushing strands of hair over my ear.

  “This is dangerous,” I declared.

  “For who?” His lips were red. Wet.

  “For me. You. All of us.”

  “Have you broached this with the others? Did something happen with Hayden the other night?”

  “No!” I said too harshly. “No. He has Sabine. Which,” I admit, “makes it easier in some ways.”

  “Oliver?”

  I shook my head. There hadn’t been an opportunity.

  “Anderson?”

  I gave him a look. He smiled. Anderson was a case of his own.

  “So just us.”

  “Just us,” I responded. My heart raced in my chest. I thought about him naked. I thought about his mouth. His eyes flicked from my chest to my lips, over and over, and I knew he couldn’t stop himself either.

  A crash followed by a shout bounced up the hallway. Jackson’s eyes shifted, looking past me, listening to the voices.

  “Go,” I told him. “Take care of business.”

  “And us?”

  I swallowed. “We’ll finish this later.”

  “Finish.”

  I nodded, feeling muddled by hormones and lust. We were using the word ‘finish’, but we both knew that most likely this was nothing more than the start of something new, something different.

  31

  Heaven

  Lea had the bright idea to host a game night. Already she and RJ were into “coupley” ideas, but what with still wanting their privacy intact, most were on the down-low, out of the public eye. Which was great, she told me, because who didn’t want alone time with their new boyfriend? So anyway, would I come to her game night? And bring the guys.

  “You want me to bring the guys?” I asked, suspiciously.

  “Well the three that are here. RJ really likes them. He thinks Jackson and Oliver are incredibly smart with their gym. I think he’s bummed he can’t be an investor.”

  “And Hayden?”

  “Oh,” she replied with a laugh. “RJ is completely star-struck by Hayden. He wants him to come so he can bask in his athletic prowess.”

  I sighed. “Fine. I’ll invite them but be forewarned, they’re all extremely competitive. Like obnoxiously so.”

  She smiled happily and gave me a thumbs up. “Gotcha.”

  That was how we ended up sitting around a large leather ottoman in RJ Malone’s studio apartment playing a crazy card game three days later.

  RJ and Lea did invite a few other people. Carter, one of the co-stars from work, and his girlfriend-of-the-week Lacy. Lacy wasn’t very into the game and thankfully seemed more into Carter than any of the boys.

  Not that I had a claim over anyone. Officially. Anymore.

  Yeesh.

  After a few rounds, everyone was out of the game except RJ, Oliver, Lea, and Hayden. Neither Lacy or Carter seemed to care, they were more into snuggling up on the couch and watching videos on a single phone. Jackson was a little put out that he hadn’t made it to the next round, mostly because he’s notoriously competitive, especially against Oliver. As the game continued and the remaining players fought bitterly over whose fictional character or situation trumped the other, I decided to take a break.

  “Anyone want a drink?” I asked, scrambling from the ground.

  “Can you bring me one of those raspberry waters?” Lea asked. She’d been on a fruity water kick lately. I was trying unsuccessfully to ditch soda and coffee. I walked across the room, entering the spacious, wide-open kitchen. RJ’s studio was in one of the newer buildings built in Allendale, mostly to support the thriving industry. I suspected a month’s rent was the same as my yearly salary. I rummaged through the refrigerator, past the protein drinks and containers of pre-made meals. RJ had a nutritionist and followed a strict diet. It wasn’t a surprise. I’d seen him barely clothed at work. His physique was amazing. He definitely put in the time and effort.

  The drinks were in a drawer at the bottom and I bent over to get one. Fingers trailed over the skin of my lower back and I jumped, surprised, and came face to face with Jackson.

  “When did you get the tattoo?” he asked.

  “Oh,” I tugged my shirt down, “a few years ago.”

  “Can I see it?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?” He wore an expression of pure innocence.

  I narrowed my eyes. Did he really think he had the right to still touch me like that? Sure, we’d moved to casual flirting but touching? The chill skipping up my spine told me that even if he didn’t, I liked the way it felt.

  I handed Jackson a drink and took a can to Lea, resting it on the table. The conversation I’d had with Jackson about closure and finality lingered in my mind. He stood near the wide, granite kitchen counter, leaning on his elbows.

  �
�Thor’s hammer beats a basket of kittens beats a talking dragon,” declared Oliver, speaking gibberish that only made sense in the context of the game.

  “Bullshit,” Hayden said, tossing down his own cards. “That’s a radio-active squirrel—it can take out everything.”

  “Not the hammer,” RJ said, siding with Oliver. Oliver grinned like a maniac and Lea clapped like it was the best match of wits ever, and without another word I slipped out of the room.

  Designed with an open and spacious floorplan, it’s hard to find privacy, but on the way to the bathroom I’d noticed a long hall behind the kitchen that separated the living area from the bedrooms.

  I’d just stepped into the unlit area when I felt those fingers on my back again and a second hand wrapped around my waist. “Five inked stars,” Jackson whispered in my ear, “I think we both know what that represents.”

  From behind, he pressed his body against mine. He was taunting me, I knew it, and it was leading us both down a slippery slope. When I didn’t respond he kissed me gently on the neck and said, “That’s not the kind of behavior of a woman that wants closure, Heaven.”

  My heart beat so hard that I was sure he could hear it, but he released me and I spun, craving the contact. I opened my mouth to speak, possibly to beg, but a shadow crossed the end of the hall. Oliver stood in the empty space, watching us.

  Guilt flashed over me, but Jackson just walked by him and said, “Did you know Heaven got a tattoo?”

  Oliver swallowed and shook his head.

  “On her lower back. Five stars in a cluster.” He clapped Oliver on the back and left the two of us in the hallway. Alone.

  I took a deep breath and walked down the hall. Oliver didn’t budge.

  “It’s not a big deal. Just a whim, you know?”

  “Sure. You’ve always been the kind of girl that does permanent things on a whim.”

  “Did you forget how we met? I permanently wrecked my reputation on a dare. I don’t always make the best decisions.”

  “True.”

  “Who won the game?” I asked when finally up close. He doesn’t seem angry. Just curious; his eyes searching.

  “I did.”

  “I bet Hayden’s pissed.”

  “He’ll get over it.”

  There was a beat. A pause and tension ebbed between us.

  “Well, congratulations,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. I moved to pass him but he blocked me with an arm. I looked up, eyebrow raised in question, but I only saw heat reflected back at me and in a swift move, Oliver bent down and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me slow and strong. It was the first time I’d felt his lips in two years, and Jackson already had my engine revved. Like a woman desperate for water I dove right in, kissing him in return.

  I was breathless when we pulled apart and his chest heaved similarly.

  “I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks,” he confessed, rubbing his lips. “Sorry if that was inappropriate.”

  “It wasn’t.”

  “No?”

  A small curve lifted his lips and I ducked under the arm he used to keep me in the hall. Over my shoulder I replied with a final, “No,” and rejoined the others for another round of games.

  “We set a date!” Amber’s voice conveyed her excitement. I sat on the couch in my apartment. “May 26th.”

  “That’s in a couple weeks!”

  “I know. Short notice, but when we started talking about it there wasn’t any real reason to wait.”

  “Putting it on the calendar now.” Who was I kidding. There was nothing pressing on my social calendar for the rest of the year. “Have you picked a location?”

  “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  I pulled my knees up. “Oh yeah?”

  “When Ginger came to Allendale this last time we did a little sightseeing—more than we had before. I took her down to Oceanside—to the beach.”

  “Okay.” I knew where she was headed. “You want to have the wedding there?”

  “Ginger just fell in love with it and, well, you know how beautiful it is.” Incredibly beautiful. Especially in late spring like that. “But we both wanted to make sure you were okay with it.”

  I’d been back to the beach since that night. Many times. With the boys, with Amber. Oceanside held a lot of memories for me, not all of them good. It was near my father’s church and the judgmental town I’d been happy to flee. But it was also where I’d survived and where love had truly, fully entered my life.

  “I think it’s a great idea,” I said. “The ocean is a place of rebirth. Perfect for a wedding.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked, but I heard the relieved hope in her voice. “I want you to be honest.”

  “I’m sure. I’ve made peace with that time in my life. Oceanside is beautiful. I’m glad Ginger wants a part of your home to be in the wedding.” I picked at the edge of the sofa. “And as long as we’re being honest, I have a few things to tell you.”

  “What kind of things?”

  “Things like I slept with Jackson and I kissed Oliver.”

  “Heaven! When? What? Tell me everything.”

  So I told her. I explained how I left her party and slept with Jackson, looking for closure, but instead seemed to have tugged on a thread. And that Oliver kissed me suddenly the night before, and that I was both jealous and thankful for Sabine if it kept Hayden happy.

  “Does Anderson know any of this?” she asked.

  “I hope not, but I haven’t heard from him in weeks, so who knows. I’m sure the guys are as scared to broach this with him as I am. He’s training hard right now. His qualifiers are coming up, now isn’t the time to bother him with any of this.”

  “Well what does this mean?” she asked. “Are you getting back together? Or is this just a

  hook up? Or like you wanted, closure?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well you have a month to figure it out before the wedding. I don’t want any drama. Got it?”

  No. Amber and Ginger didn’t deserve that. Not on their special day. “No drama. I promise.”

  “Good. I have no doubt you guys can figure this out. Communicate. That’s always been big between you all. Talk to them. All of them,” she said, the implication heavy that Anderson needed to be told.

  “You’re right.”

  “And one more thing…”

  “What’s that?”

  “Don’t be afraid to have a little fun while you’re figuring this out. Those boys are worth it.”

  32

  Oliver

  I’d thought long and hard about that kiss two nights ago.

  Long and hard.

  I’d barely slept either night, tossing and turning, reliving the moment, overanalyzing the way she responded before, during and after. I’d lied when I said I’d been wanting to do that for weeks. I’d wanted to do it for years. I wanted to do it again.

  I hadn’t been jealous when Jackson revealed they’d had sex. I was glad. Relieved that the embargo of the past two years had maybe finally been broken. Of all of us, Jackson was the easiest to let down your guard; I understood the appeal. Low pressure. Fun. Re-entering relationships with any of us required a different approach and at first, I was willing to bide my time. Until he said it was about closure and that stopped me cold. Closure?

  That created a mass of dread in my stomach that’d I’d been carrying ever since, which was why when I had my chance with her at the game night, I didn’t waste it. She liked it. I liked it, and it was time for us to move forward, except now it’d been two days since I’d heard from her—seen her—and once again my life was left to her discretion.

  Fuck this, I thought, as the first light of the day sliced through my windows. I pushed back the twisted covers and reached for my gym shorts lying on the nearby chair. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror hanging over my dresser. I was no longer the skinny boy that dried Heaven’s tears all those years ago. I wasn’t the kid that waited for the g
irl of his dreams to call all the shots—make the decisions.

  Hell no. The person reflected back was a man; a business man. Successful. Strong. I took in the muscles I’d developed and honed. In the two years we’d been apart one thing was for certain, I had control over my life and I didn’t want to wait for her any longer.

  I wanted to know what she thought.

  I needed to know how she felt.

  I tugged on a shirt and sneakers, then reached for my keys.

  I needed to know and I didn’t want to wait a minute longer.

  33

  Heaven

  Since being on hiatus, I’d taken to a morning run. Exercise became part of my life over the past few years, mostly due to my therapist demanding it as part of my long-term treatment for anxiety and depression. At first, I’d resisted it, refusing to believe that physical activity really made a difference. It didn’t help that I was a spaz and had zero background with athletics other than mandatory P.E. classes. In college, I’d dragged the guys and Amber to a series of classes and sports, but nothing stuck until Hayden dragged me to the soccer fields one afternoon during his practice and told me to start running laps around the track. At first it was awful, like I was dragging my whole body through sand, but over time it got a little easier and now? I kind of liked it. I wasn’t particularly good, but over the years, running switched from a chore to a habit and slowly became part of my daily schedule; vacation or not.

  I rolled out of bed and reached for my tank and running tights. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and splashed some water on my face. After wedging my feet into my shoes, I slipped my key into my pocket, walking out the door and instantly tripping over a large, formidable object in the hallway.

  “What tha—” I cried, falling forward, but regaining my balance before face-planting. I glanced over my shoulder. “Oliver?”

  “Hey,” he said, scrambling to his feet. “You okay? I didn’t mean for that to happen.”