Red Herrings and White Elephants

by Albert Jack

  To Haul Somebody Over The Coals means to give them a severe tongue-lashing, and perhaps find out the truth of a matter. In the 15th century, heresy (practising unorthodox religions) was regarded as a crime against the Church and the punishment was death. The problem was that the crime of heresy was almost impossible to prove as few ever confessed to adopting their own religious opinions, so the powers that be came up with an ingenious method of deciding. Anybody accused of heresy would be tied and dragged over a burning bed of charcoal. If they died it was accepted the person was a heretic and deserved such a fate. However, if they lived they were freed, as it was thought God had protected the accused. So, while the supposed heretics died, the innocents were merely roasted. Brilliant!

  When we Break The Ice we are taking the initiative in breaking down a formality and getting started on a project. This idiom is more than 500 years old and is common in many European languages. Years ago many major European rivers would ice over at the bank sides during the cold and bitter winters. The River Thames used to freeze completely and carnivals and fairs were held on the surface. But those relying on the rivers for their livelihood didn’t enjoy those times quite so much and every morning, before they could set about their business, they would have to break the ice around the boats and cut a path out to where the water still flowed. For them ‘breaking the ice’ meant getting started on their day’s work.

  Ill-gotten Gains is a term for money, or other reward, obtained by dishonest means. The phrase we use today has been shortened from its original form: ‘Ill-gotten gains never prosper.’ The phrase first appeared in the early 16th century and was applied to the pirates of the English coastline and their booty. In 1592 William Shakespeare popularised the phrase in his play Henry VI Part 3 when he included the line ‘Didst thou never hear that things ill got had ever bad success?’

  When something is Near The Knuckle ( usually a comment or remark) it is regarded as on the limit, as far as one should go. When carving a joint of meat a butcher will cut the flesh right down to the knuckle bone which would be the limit of the cut, therefore a remark near the knuckle is on the limit. The expression Close To The Bone means exactly the same thing.

  A person who is Long In The Tooth is considered to be old and wise. There is no real proof as to whether the origin of this phrase comes from humans or animals, particularly horses. Our equine friends do not benefit from dental hygiene and therefore as they age their gums recede, leaving the teeth appearing longer in the mouth (see Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth). However, our forefathers didn’t have the benefits of modern dentistry either, so our elderly ancestors were affectionately regarded as being ‘long in the tooth’.

  To be described as having No Flies On You means you are quick-witted, alert and active. The expression can be traced to the cattle ranches of both America and Australia and is first recorded during the mid-1800s. Quite simply the lively, active cattle and horses attracted few flies that preferred instead to settle on the slow, sluggish animals who would stay still for the longest period of time. The phrase became widely used very quickly and in the early 1900s even the Salvation Army put it to general use by adopting a hymn entitled ‘There are no flies on Jesus’. It even included the classic observation ‘There may be flies on me and you / but there are no flies on Jesus.’

  To Pigeon Hole a person is to classify them and give them a specific identity when more than one might be more appropriate. The English used to keep pigeons as domestic birds, although not as pets, but for food. Pigeons generally do not stray too far from a place they are being fed, so folk would set small openings into walls, or build boxes with recesses that pigeons would naturally make their home, without realising they would later be eaten. These were known as pigeonholes. During the 18th century offices would have small compartments built into the furniture to file documents and, owing to the resemblance, these also became known as pigeonholes. These pigeonholes would each have categories and the documents in them would all have a similar theme, decided by the filing clerk. When a document had more than one reference it was up to the clerk to decide where it was to be placed and hence a document was ‘pigeonholed’. But not always correctly.

  If you are asked to do something Post Haste you are being asked to do it quickly, without delay. When, during the 16th century, the English postal system began to develop around the country, it relied on horseback messengers. Because of the nature of the work, horses needed to be rested every 20–30 miles. This led to the emergence of posthouses all over the country which all provided fresh horses for messengers to use on longer journeys. The royal post was regarded as a priority and post-boys would gallop into stable yards shouting ‘post haste’ in order to attract attention and then swap their horse for a rested one to continue his journey. The same system was also the origin for the expression By Return Post, meaning immediate reply. A messenger who was asked to bring a reply to a letter back on his return journey was asked to wait until the recipient provided such a reply.

  To Ride Roughshod over a person is to treat them harshly and without consideration of their feelings. Horses that are roughshod have nails deliberately left protruding from the shoe to provide extra grip in wet or icy conditions. To be trampled on or kicked by a horse with roughshod shoes would be uncomfortable to say the least. For a short time during the 1700s it became common practice for cavalry soldiers, from many countries, to ensure their horses were roughshod or had other sharp objects attached to their hooves. The idea was that during a charge the war-horses would cut and damage enemy mounts, but they soon found the shoes did as much damage to themselves and each other, so the practice was stopped.

  The Silly Season is a period of time when most of the stories we hear are unlikely to be true, or something minor or superficial given undue prominence. The real silly season is during August and September when Parliament traditionally rises for its summer recess and MPs return to their constituencies. This deprives the newspapers of a steady stream of news: political rows, bad judgements, poor behaviour and general Westminster gossip. With big gaps in their publications to fill, journalists would make the most of silly stories, such as tales about the Loch Ness Monster, UFO sightings, giant marrows and student capers. One early story about a giant gooseberry led to the season being called the ‘Big Gooseberry Season’ but over time this became the ‘silly season’.

  To Smell A Rat is used when someone is suspicious of something, without actually having any demonstrable cause. In English towns and villages rats were a common problem and many people used dogs, whose highly sensitive sense of smell enabled them to sniff out rats and then kill the vermin. A person whose dog suddenly started sniffing around a house or barn would often say ‘looks like he has smelled a rat’, long before the pest could be seen or detected by humans.

  If you find somebody On The Warpath it is better to stay well out of their way as it suggests they are in an aggressive mood and preparing for a fight. Before proper roads were mapped out the countryside was crisscrossed by bridle paths and other narrow ways. In North America feuding natives would regularly cross territories to confront their enemy, and the pathways flattened by foot soldiers and horsemen between the two camps quickly became known as ‘war paths’ as, essentially, the only time they were used was en route to war.

  If I Pull The Wool Over Your Eyes I have tricked or deceived you. This expression is linked to the term Bigwigs. Centuries ago a man’s status was confirmed by the size of his wig and such people were considered well worth robbing by the city scallywags and vagabonds. Some rogues developed the trick of approaching a victim from behind and pulling the wig down over a victim’s eyes to disorientate him and make it easier to steal his possessions before running away.

  17: MISCELLANEOUS

  An Acid Test is the accepted process of finding out beyond any doubt if something is genuine or not. Gold is one of the few precious metals not affected by the majority of acids but it does react with a mixture of hydrochloric and nitric acids. When
first used in the Middle Ages this mixture was given the Latin name ‘Aqua Regia’, meaning ‘royal water’, as it dissolved the king of metals. The first recorded use as an idiom was on 8 January 1918, as the First World War drew to a close, when US President Woodrow Wilson said to Congress, ‘The treatment accorded Russia by her sister nations in the months to come will be an acid test of their goodwill.’ The ‘acid test’, or ‘fizz test’ as it has become known, is used these days mainly by geologists to differentiate between limestone and other types of rock.

  A Basket Case is a light-hearted, although not entirely affectionate, way of describing somebody who cannot communicate properly, is mentally unstable and unable to cope emotionally. At the end of the First World War, the Surgeon General of the US Army was quoted in the US Official Bulletin (28 March 1919) that he ‘denies there is any foundation for the stories being circulated of the existence of “basket cases” in our hospitals’. It is a clear reference to trench soldiers suffering shell shock and related mental illness. At the time basket weaving was a regular activity in both British and American mental hospitals, such as the one at Deolali (see Doolally). The phrase was known to be British Army slang during the First World War.

  Saved By The Bell–Although the phrase is associated with boxing for obvious reasons, the origin is supposed to lie at the Horse Guard Parade in London. One night, during the Victorian era, a guard was famously accused of being asleep on duty. He denied the charge and claimed he had heard the main bell of Big Ben chime 13 times at midnight, instead of the usual12. Such was the seriousness of the charge the clock mechanism was checked and it was discovered a cog was out of line and Big Ben would indeed chime 13 times instead of 12. On that evidence, the guard was freed–well and truly saved by the bell.

  To suggest somebody has Gone Round The Bend is to unkindly infer they have gone mad. In the 1900s, the Victorians built hospitals in which to confine the mentally unsound. At the time stately homes were built with long, straight driveways in order that the building could be seen from the main road in all its splendour, albeit from a distance. The mental homes were placed at the end of long, curved driveways so that they would remain unseen, and therefore if a person had ‘gone round the bend’ it meant they had been confined.

  To Give Somebody A Break means to give somebody an opportunity, usually after they have done something wrong or been perceived to do so. This phrase derives from the early street performers who would be given a break halfway through their act, during which they could pass a hat around and collect money for their performance. During the 19th century the phrase was picked up by the criminal and vagrant community who would pass a hat around each other for a friend on their release from prison so they would not have to return to the world totally penniless. That person was deemed to have been ‘given a break’.

  A Busman’s Holiday means a person is spending his time away from work, doing exactly what he would during his working day. This idiom stems from the turn of the 20th century, when buses were horse-drawn. It was tradition that a bus driver would spend his days off travelling in the rear of his bus to make sure the relief driver was looking after his horses properly. As the horse was very much the means of his income, the animal’s welfare was essential and drivers took few chances–even on their holidays.

  Crocodile Tears are considered to be false tears or showing insincere sorrow. In fact, crocodiles, after eating, shed excess salt from glands located just beneath each eye, giving the impression of tears. According to ancient Egyptian legend, after the animal had devoured its victim it would immediately appear to be crying with remorse. The Egyptians coined the phrase and applied it to their double-dealing country folk who showed insincerity or false sorrow for their actions.

  Digs is a word used to describe temporary accommodation or lodgings, usually for students. During the Californian gold rush, which began in 1849, miners raced to the area and had to live rough in shelters they dug for themselves into the hillsides. These became known as ‘diggins’. Some enterprising folk dug out entire rows of them and rented out diggins to other prospectors arriving in the area. The term was shortened to ‘digs’ by the time it came into use in England a decade later.

  In the 17th century The Dutch were both military and trading rivals of England. The English attitude towards the Dutch can be found in the diaries of Samuel Pepys, whose work covered this period in English history. Such entries include ‘several seamen came this morning and said they would go and do all they could against the Dutch’ and ‘And so to home where my heart aches as the Dutch have burned our ships.’ It was common for the English to refer to the Dutch in derisory fashion and surprisingly many of the phrases continue to be used nearly 400 years later. Here are a few examples:

  Ending an assurance with the suffix ‘or I am a Dutchman’ implies total confidence in a suggestion or the one giving the guarantee will allow the recipient to call them a Dutchman, inviting the lowest form of insult. For example: ‘My chickens are the finest in London sir, if I am found to be wrong then I’m a Dutchman.’

  Dutch Auction– An auction that goes the wrong way, with the reserve figure being set too high in the first place and the auctioneer having to gradually decrease the price until a bid is finally made.

  Dutch Bargain– A one-sided deal, and not a bargain at all.

  Dutch Comfort–No real comfort at all.

  Dutch Concert–An expression used to describe a shambles of a performance during which the singers sang different songs and the musicians played the wrong notes.

  Dutch Courage–False bravery that has to be summoned up by alcohol.

  Dutch Gold–A German alloy of copper and zinc which is gold in colour and often passed off as gold to unsuspecting dealers.

  Dutch Party–Where the guests contribute their own food and drink.

  Dutch Talent–Ability and results obtained through brawn rather than by intellect.

  Dutch Treat–A gift for which the recipients pay themselves.

  Dutch Uncle–A person who criticises severely, and often unfairly.

  Double Dutch–A person speaking gibberish, which cannot be understood by an Englishman.

  Triple Dutch–Like Double Dutch, only even more preposterous.

  To Go Dutch means a gentleman expects his lady guest to pay for herself. Fair enough these days but not the behaviour of an English gentleman 400 years ago, the inference being that it was normal behaviour for a Dutchman.

  Forking Out is used to describe handing over money, sometimes reluctantly. Many years ago the word fork was thieves’ slang for finger and ‘forking over’ or ‘forking out’ became slang for paying or handing out money.

  Funnybone–Nobody who takes a blow on the nerve between the elbow bones ever laughs; instead they experience a painful tingling sensation. So why is it called the ‘funnybone’? The reason is a medical pun: the long bone in the upper arm connected by this nerve is called the ‘humerus’. The joke stuck and had passed over into wider use by 1867.

  Why do we say Good Health when we are about to drink alcohol, which is far from good for us? The answer lies in 19th-century England and the deadly outbreak of cholera between 1848 and 1849 in particular. In August 1849 cholera reached epidemic proportions in the Broadwick Street area of Soho in London, resulting in 344 deaths in only four days. But there were almost none in any neighbouring areas. Local physician Dr John Snow suggested cholera was linked to drinking polluted water and proved this when he found that 87 victims out of the 89 he examined were known to have drunk from the Broadwick Street well. Snow called for the authorities to take the handle off the pump, and almost immediately the outbreak was halted. For a long while afterwards the locals would avoid water and drink only ales and wines. When drinking they would toast each other with ‘to your good health’, knowing they were safe from the disease. Appropriately enough there is a pub called the John Snow on Broadwick Street today.

  When we Hedge Our Bets, we are supporting more than one cause and increasing the
possibility of a favourable outcome. The phrase is attributed to old English peasants and vagabonds who plied their trade overtly between or underneath hedges. Hedge was also a widely used expression applied to the lower classes. A ‘hedge-priest’ was a poor or untrustworthy man of the cloth, a ‘hedge-writer’ a Grub Street author and a ‘hedge-marriage’ was a clandestine union performed by a ‘hedge-priest’, possibly referring to a bigamous marriage. In 1811 the dictionary tells us the use of the word ‘hedge’ had become used as a term for protecting oneself against losses on a wager, suggesting that a gambler who ‘hedges in’ their bets is taking precautions against losses.

  To find yourself In A Hole is to be in difficulty, particularly financially. American writer John P Quinn gave the best suggestion for this phrase in his 1892 book Fools Of Fortune. Poker tables in dimly lit gambling dens had a hole in the centre into which gamblers dropped a percentage of their stake money payable to the house. Losses to the dealer were also dropped into the hole, which was collected in locked iron boxes underneath. The owners would then collect their money at the end of each session. The expression is used these days to express any misfortune but back in the 19th century a losing gambler had all his money well and truly ‘in the hole’.

  In The Limelight implies being the centre of attention or in the public eye. When calcium oxide (lime) is heated, it produces a bright white light. In 1826 a Scottish army engineer called Thomas Drummond used this discovery to aid map-making in poor weather. The intense, highly visible limelight could be seen from a great distance and was used to mark out distances accurately. Shortly afterwards scientists developed his invention to produce other powerful lights, which were then used in lighthouses and later as spotlights in theatres, to focus attention on the main performer. So somebody who was standing ‘in the limelight’ was at the focus of attention.