The Alpha's Dilemma (Full Moon Series Book 4)

by Mia Rose

  Edmund rubbed at his wrists absently and looked over at Noelle’s parents as he spoke. “I know that you all hate me for what I did to your daughter, but believe me when I say this… it wasn’t my decision. It needed to be done for the bigger cause.”

  “What are you talking about, Edmund?” Abigail demanded. “What bigger cause?”

  Edmund nodded and said, “Let me start from the beginning. First of all, I never lied about creating a cure for silver. I was able to do that and I even have a few bottles here somewhere, unless you threw it all away.”

  Noelle glanced over at the equipment she had hidden in the corner. As much as she had wanted to smash everything into little bits and pieces, something had stopped her.

  “My research did start with malicious beginnings. It was initially funded by my father, whose only desire in this world is to rid all werewolves from existence. But while I was doing that for him, I was contacted by another group.”

  “What group?” Garett asked hesitantly.

  “They don’t go by any one name,” Edmund explained. “But they are a faction of the original hunters. However, their goal is not to kill off werewolves, their goal is to turn them back into humans and restore their humanity. They hired me to continue my research under the guise of developing weapons, but really, I was actually working on a cure.”

  “Wait a second,” Noelle said. “So, you’re telling me that you’re a good guy… and that you don’t want to kill us all. And instead, you want us to rejoin civilization like some lame rehab or something?”

  “Pretty much.” Edmund nodded. “I know it’s hard to believe, but you have to trust me on this.”

  “And why should I trust you?” Noelle scoffed. “You freaking kidnapped me.”

  “I know.” Edmund sighed. “Again, I’m truly sorry about that. But it was all for appearances, don’t you see?”

  “I’m sorry, Edmund.” Abigail shook her head. “I really am having a hard time connecting the dots here. If you were working with this new faction, then why couldn’t they continue funding your research? Why did you have to ask us for the money? And if you needed Noelle’s blood, why did you expose her existence to your father?”

  “The faction has gone underground,” Edmund explained. “The council had grown suspicious and they began investigating my research. That’s why I was forced to take in actual werewolf subjects to test. They wanted to see results. After the incident with the werewolf biting me, my father cut off all funding for the project, but the council wanted further action. My own father tried to kill me, but I was able to escape.”

  Noelle studied his face as he spoke, and she could tell that everything he was saying was true. She had a heightened intuition, like it was a new gift or something.

  “Why did you ever go back to him?” she whispered. “That’s the part I don’t understand. If your own father chose the council over you, why would you return to them and bring me there?”

  “I needed to get back into his good graces so I could access the journals with my research,” Edmund explained. “After they had closed down everything, the council had cleared out my laboratory, taking all of my notes and findings into their custody. They had a new team who started trying to use my research to develop weapons, but no one had been successful. My father is a prominent member on the council and he was able to convince them that I was on the brink of developing something huge.”

  “And the council just let him take all of your research back to you? Even knowing that you’d been bitten?” Garett asked.

  “Well,” Edmund said, “not exactly. I explained to them the other cure that I had been working on while doing research for their weapons. Essentially, I told them that I had been using it on myself, which staved off the wolf. Now, of course… with Noelle, the cure became finalized. The council appreciated the fact that we were now able to offer hunters a solution, should they encounter a wolf bite.”

  “Okay,” Noelle said, feeling overwhelmed by all the information. “I still don’t understand the ‘kidnapping me’ part of this story.”

  “It was all for show, Noelle,” Edmund said softly. “I needed my father and the council to believe that I was all in. And I was only able to prove that by bringing you to them. Please believe me, I never had any intention of hurting you. That’s why I let you escape.”

  Noelle nodded, her head was beginning to develop that familiar pressure against her skull. She did not like the feeling at all.

  “Noelle, are you okay?” Edmund asked, looking worried.

  “I just need to sit down for a bit,” Noelle whispered, but before she could manage to find a seat, the blackness which threatened her vision had overcome her, and she fell into the blissful abyss of nothingness.

  Declan slept fitfully that night. They had put him up in a tent that belonged to one of the members who had fallen by the hands of the hunters. Declan could not stop his brain from thinking about everything.

  He considered Maria’s thought about Noelle, but he didn’t want to give into hope again. He knew firsthand, what it felt like to lose Noelle to another man. When she learned the truth about her precious doctor, he did not want to hope that this admission would lead her back into his arms. On top of that, he did not want to get her back solely because the new guy had ended up being the bad guy. Declan made the decision to stop considering Noelle as anything more than a possible friend.

  He tossed and turned on the cold floor, feeling so unbelievably uncomfortable in an environment which used to offer him such peace and tranquility. It bothered him when things were too quiet, and his imagination started running away with possibilities. It bothered him even more when he could hear the insects chirping; he would pray that the silence would fall over them again.

  When he woke up the next morning, he felt as though he had only slept for about twenty minutes. He laid there, staring up at the tent. He realized how much he missed the comfort of his own home. Not necessarily because of the amenities that an apartment had to offer, but more so because of the familiarity of it all. And in this time of severe disconnect within himself, he craved something —anything to be familiar to him.

  There was a light scratching sound at his tent and he sat up quickly to peel back the flap. He saw Maria standing there, her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. In the dim light of the morning, her eyes resumed their soft nature, and Declan was amazed by their vibrant, purple hue.

  “Hey,” she whispered, “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

  “You didn’t, don’t worry.”

  “Cool.” Maria flashed him her heartwarming smile. “Follow me!”

  Declan stood up from the ground and made his way out of the tent. He could tell that most of the pack had already been up for a while, as there was a delicious aroma in the air which made his stomach grumble.

  “Hey there, Ducky!” Dustin yelled out from across the camp.

  Declan saw a few of the pack members look his way and snicker at the nickname which Dustin seemed determined to use when calling for Declan.

  “Hey,” Declan grumbled.

  “How’d you sleep out here in the wild?” Dustin asked, laughing at Declan’s disheveled demeanor.

  “I’ve had better nights.” Declan sighed.

  “Come with me.” Dustin gestured that Declan should follow him. “I want to show you something.”

  Declan walked after Dustin, and with every step, he could feel the soreness in his human body. His back ached and there was a throbbing in his shoulder from laying on that side throughout the night. He craned his head from side to side in an effort to stretch out his neck, but it didn’t seem to help. Declan severely missed his upgraded strength and his senses, and he grew more determined to figure out how he could get it back.

  “I had a thought last night,” Declan said, interrupting their stretched silence as they walked further into the woods.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “What if you just turned me again? I mean, if I am human now, wouldn’t a were
wolf bite just turn me back into a werewolf?”

  “To be honest, I had the same thought before, too. But the more that I thought about it, I was just not sure it would work. And, I’m afraid it might have worse consequences for you.”

  “Why wouldn’t it work?”

  “Well, Declan. If you said that this guy figured out a way to make the elixir so that it could change an already established werewolf back into a human, I’m just thinking that there is probably something in it that is blocking the werewolf part of you, you know? And I feel like even if I tried to change you again, that elixir would still be in there, doing its job of blocking the werewolf parts of you. And who knows, it could make things a hell of a lot worse for you.”

  “So, what you’re saying is that there is no hope for me.”

  “No.” Dustin shook his head. “That’s not what I am saying at all. What I am saying is that we need to figure out a way to get the werewolf part of you to overcome the elixir. Even if we found the doctor guy, how could we trust him to reverse it? I think that the only way to deal with this is to get in touch with your inner alpha, again.”

  “He’s not there anymore,” Declan said, growing frustrated. “Trust me, I’ve tried to change. I’ve tried to hear and see as him, but nothing is working.”

  Dustin nodded thoughtfully and then said, “You’ll just have to try harder.”

  He stopped walking at a small clearing in the woods. There were logs that formed a circle on the outskirts, and in the center, there was a small stone. Had they been found in the woods haphazardly, Declan would not have thought about it twice, but it was the strategic arrangement of nature’s objects that made him wonder about where he was standing.

  “What is this?” Declan asked.

  “This is an ancient meeting place for Alphas,” Dustin spoke quietly, as though he was standing in some ancient place. “It has been a very long time since anyone has used this place, but I think it may be time for us to convene.”

  Declan looked around, and as much as he tried to connect with what was around him, he felt nothing particularly special. “Well, I shouldn’t be here.” Declan frowned. “I am not an alpha anymore.”

  Dustin looked at Declan and then rushed up to him so that he was standing mere inches from his face. “When you allow those thoughts to not only enter your mind, but to escape your lips, you are right. You do not deserve the title of ‘Alpha,’ and you never did. You must stop behaving like the victim and start thinking about what you can do… to not only change this for yourself, but to ensure that this never happens to your pack, or to any other pack out there. Do you understand what I am saying to you?”

  Declan could only nod at Dustin. He could see from the slight rippling of Dustin’s skin that Dustin was trying to keep his inner wolf in check.

  “How do we call the other alphas here?” Declan asked.

  At this, Dustin gave him a small smile before stepping back toward the stone. Declan watched carefully as Dustin knelt before the stone and pressed his forehead against it. And before Declan could ask what he was doing, he heard Dustin speaking.

  “Brothers and sisters,” Dustin said slowly, “I am calling out to all of you as a cry for help. Our packs have been under siege from the hunters and we have lost many members. They have not only killed members, but have taken them away from us for reasons which we do not yet know. We have an alpha in great need of our help.”

  Declan watched as Dustin lifted his head and looked straight at Declan.

  “We must work together during this time to save our kind,” Dustin continued, and Declan stared at him in amazement. Dustin had spoken clear as a whistle, but Declan had not seen him move his lips, not once.

  “How did you?”

  “So, you heard?” Dustin asked as a look of satisfaction crossed his face. “Alphas are not merely assigned to that position, Declan. We are born with it, coursing in our veins even before the transformation. An alpha can always recognize another alpha, even before the man has turned into a wolf. As I knew it with you, from the moment I met you in the woods as a child asking for help. I saw it in your eyes.” Dustin stopped and gazed around the circle before he stood up from his place.

  “So, that is why you changed me?” Declan asked.

  Dustin nodded and said, “After I met you, I never let you out of my sight. I moved our pack to this place in the woods, so that I might be closer to you and your mother. I kept an eye on you and watched you as you grew, making tough decisions which only a true alpha could have made. I grew to care deeply for your mother, as well. Her tenderness and kindness, they shone through her and lit up the entire forest.”

  “Maria had mentioned a woman that you loved,” Declan whispered. “It was my mother?”

  Dustin gave a sad smile. “She never met me, Declan. But as I watched you and her together, I did grow to love her. But I knew the pain she had already endured with your father, and to be with a person of our kind is nearly impossible for a human.”

  “Why didn’t you change her?” Declan asked, surprised at the tears forming in his eyes.

  He did not like to think about his mother, or to talk about her often, but this conversation seemed to be a necessary communication. He could feel the hole in his heart throbbing at the scarred edges. He had learned to live with her loss, but he had never learned how to live without her.

  “Why didn’t you change her?” Declan asked again, growing angrier. “You could have saved her! If you had turned her into a wolf, she would still be alive.”

  Declan could feel his heart start racing. The woods shimmered slightly as if his eyes were trying to focus. He shook his head and the shimmer went away, and then finally, his heart slowed down.

  “Declan, your mother was not meant for this kind of life. She was a woman of purity and love, to harm anything was out of her nature. Besides, it is not our job to turn everyone who grows ill. If it is their time to leave this world, we can only hope to hold their hand as they make that journey. But never hold their hand with the intention of holding them back. That is selfish, and at the end of the day, you are the one who wished her to remain. She was ready for the next life, free of suffering and pain.”

  As Dustin spoke, Declan became overwhelmed by the raw honesty in his words. There was a deep wisdom that he shared with Declan and although he did not want to accept it yet, he knew that one day, he would. Declan only nodded, not trusting his voice to say a word.

  Dustin looked to the sky and said softly, “We will meet here again tomorrow night, and you will finally join the ranks among alphas, where you deserve to be.”

  “He had learned to live with her loss, but he had never learned how to live without her.”

  Chapter 7

  The Alpha

  “Trust me, my friend, you have been an alpha since the day you were born.”

  Noelle heard voices whispering urgently before she opened her eyes. “What the hell is wrong with her?” she heard her father ask. It took her a moment to remember where she was, and that Edmund had come back.

  “I don’t know,” Edmund said in a way that suggested this was not the first time he’d said the words.

  “Well, you’re a doctor,” Abigail pointed out. “Figure it out. This is the second time she’s fainted! What did you do to her?”

  “I promise you, Abigail,” Edmund spoke with assured conviction, “the amount of blood that I took from her would not have had this kind of effect on her. If you would like, I can examine her to see if I can find anything wrong, but in order to do that, you’ll have to untie me.”

  At this comment, Noelle opened her eyes. “You are not coming anywhere near me,” she whispered quietly. She could feel the rawness in her throat as she spoke and she tried to swallow, but it sent her into a coughing fit.

  “Why do I feel like I’m dying?” Noelle asked (to no one in particular).

  “Noelle,” Edmund said slowly. “I know that you don’t trust me right now, but I swear to you that I will not hurt yo
u. Let me take a look at you so that I can help you.”

  Noelle shook her head, but she could see that her parents were both considering the option.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Noelle laughed weakly. “After everything, you’re going to let him near me?”

  “Right now, it’s our only option. And we will be there by your side the entire time.” Garett sighed. “And besides, if what he said about the council rebels is true, he might be our only chance at connecting with them.”

  Noelle did not want to agree with her father, but she knew that what he said was true. She sighed and leaned back against the wall, relishing the coolness of the wall to her skin.

  “Okay,” she agreed finally.

  Abigail walked over to Edmund and untied his feet. He stood uneasily at first and then straightened up. It seemed as if no one in the room was breathing as they waited to see what would happen next. Edmund took a few small steps toward Noelle who was staring at him the entire time, watching his every move.

  Edmund reached her side and knelt next to her, bringing his body close enough that she could smell the sweat from his brow line. He looked her over carefully without touching her at first. As his examination continued, he lightly pressed against her torso and abdomen, checking for tenderness. He checked her arms and legs thoroughly to see if there had been any bite marks on her body. He wiped his brow and Noelle studied his face carefully.

  She had not known much about this man, but still had cared for him deeply. As time moved forward and secrets began spilling forth, she had never once stopped caring for him. She knew now, that it was the reason why she had not hurt him when she’d had the chance. And now, with his sitting so closely beside her, it was difficult for her to reign in her emotions.

  “Mom! Dad!” Noelle said.

  “Yes?”

  “Can you leave me alone with Edmund for a moment, please?”

  “Are you sure, honey?” her mother asked, clearly worried about the idea.