The Alpha's Dilemma (Full Moon Series Book 4)

by Mia Rose

  It was now Noelle’s turn to close her eyes. This man —his only desire was to bring his daughter home. Could she stand in the way of this? Yet, how could he condone the murder of so many werewolves who did choose humanity? What if Annabelle had been one of them?

  “How do you know she is still alive?” Noelle asked, a sudden influx of questions polluting her mind. “How do you know you did not kill her already, through this cleansing of yours?”

  “She is not dead,” he said simply. “But if she refuses the offer of humanity, then she should die with the rest of them.”

  This time, Noelle could not fight against it. The blackness crept in from the corner of her eyes and she felt as though she was drowning.

  Her vision blacked out completely, but in the final moments of consciousness, she heard Edmund say, very quietly, “We all must die in the end.”

  Declan sat on his couch, his forehead pressed to his phone. He was trying desperately to reach out to Noelle, but she was not answering any of his calls or texts. He thought maybe if he could focus his mind hard enough, he might be able to reach out to her with his thoughts, just as Dustin had done, to call together the meeting of the alphas.

  He clenched his eyes shut and with all his focus, he concentrated on the image of Noelle in his brain. Declan conjured up the perfect curve of her face, with those icy blue eyes which had burned their place in his memory, and her perfect, supple lips.

  He spoke in his mind, “Noelle, if you can hear me, please come back. I think I know what you are doing, but I don’t want to be right about this. Please —please prove me wrong.”

  When Declan finally opened his eyes, he realized he was lying on the floor. He must have fallen asleep. When he sat up he discovered that he had no idea whether he had reached Noelle, or whether it was all just a dream.

  Noelle opened her eyes in the same room where Edmund had taken her before. She tried to sit up, but she found that her entire body felt weak and shaky.

  “Noelle, you’re awake,” Edmund said as he stood up from a chair in the corner of the room.

  He walked up to her bed and sat down gently on the side, brushing his hand over her forehead and dragging it down her cheek. Noelle had to try with all her might not to pull away from him in repulsion.

  “Edmund, I should be getting back,” Noelle said softly.

  She turned her face into his palm, and pressed her lips against his skin, gently. She closed her eyes and imagined that it was Declan’s hand that she was kissing, but at this point, she needed to do anything and everything to get to that cure.

  “Why do you need to leave?” Edmund asked.

  “I made a promise, Edmund. I am not the kind of woman who goes against her word,” Noelle said as she stared deeply into his eyes —she was trying to compel him to trust her, but she feared she knew where this might lead.

  “Noelle, can I ask you something?”

  “Yes,” Noelle said as she nodded, carefully pulling her face away from his hand.

  “Do you care for me? I mean —before everything happened, I felt like you and I had an otherworldly connection. Didn’t you feel it?”

  “I did,” Noelle said softly, but this time, she was not lying to him.

  Edmund observed her carefully, his eyes burning their way from her own down her nose, and finally, stopping at her lips. Noelle felt frozen —if she pulled away from him, all hopes of finding a cure were gone. But what would happen if she gave in?

  “I will tell you where the cure is if you can tell me one thing,” Edmund whispered.

  “Yes?” Noelle asked quietly, secretly fearing what he might say.

  “Are you truly done with Declan? I know that I will have to prove myself to you to earn your trust again, and I am willing to do that, but not if you are still sleeping with…” Noelle held up her fingers to his lips to stop him. Hearing him utter Declan’s name felt like the ultimate betrayal, but she needed to make it through one final lie.

  “After I met you, I knew that I was not meant to be with Declan. You put everything into perspective for me, and for that, I truly do feel indebted to you. We will have to figure this out —you and me —day by day. But still, there can be a you and me.” Noelle nearly choked on the last word, but to her relief, Edmund took it as a sign of sudden emotion overcoming her.

  He took her into his arms in a tight embrace and clutched her body close to his own. She could feel his hot breath against her neck and she closed her eyes. In that instant, she could hear Declan’s voice in her head, pleading for her to go back.

  She pulled away from Edmund and saw a concerned look spread over his face. “What is it?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” Noelle said as she smiled weakly. “I just —I got a little dizzy is all.”

  Edmund nodded as he brushed her hair away from her face, tucking a few strands behind her ear. Noelle shivered at his touch and he smiled at her.

  “You need to get some rest,” he said softly.

  Noelle shook her head and stood up from the bed. “No,” she said. “It’s better for me to go now. I can sneak in and collect the cure without anyone seeing me, and I will leave for them in the apartment.”

  “Okay,” Edmund said standing up next to her, “I’ll come with you.”

  “You can’t!” Noelle said a little too quickly. “I just mean, it will be dangerous enough for me, but at least they won’t be surprised if I get caught. If they find you —after what you did, it’s just too dangerous.”

  Edmund studied her carefully and for a moment, Noelle felt like she blew it. She didn’t dare move or speak.

  Finally, Edmund sighed. “You’re right,” he said. “I just wish I could be there to offer you some protection.”

  “I don’t need protection,” Noelle said indignantly.

  Edmund smiled at her bravery —but Noelle knew the truth. It wasn’t because she was brave that she didn’t need protection. It was because Declan was the last person who would ever harm her.

  Edmund explained to Noelle exactly where she would be able to find the cure in the remnants of the laboratory. She collected her coat from the ground, and slipped it on as she headed for the door.

  “Noelle,” Edmund called out. “Please, be careful.”

  She smiled at him sweetly, before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind her. She was just about to leave the main room when she saw her father sitting there, looking out the window.

  “Dad?” Noelle whispered, not able to tell if he had fallen asleep there.

  “Noelle, hi Sweetie,” he said as he yawned.

  “What are you doing out here, all by yourself?”

  “Oh, just thinking. There’s a lot to think about nowadays, it seems.”

  “Tell me about it,” Noelle said sighing.

  “Where are you off to?” Garett asked, taking note of her coat draped around her shoulders.

  “I just have something to take care of,” she said quietly. Garett nodded but did not say anything in response. “Well, goodnight Dad.” Noelle walked over and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. She noticed for the first time the wrinkles which had appeared on his face, and the amount of gray in his hair —this year hadn’t been easy on anyone.

  She turned to leave, but Garett caught her by the hand, forcing her to turn back to face him. “Noelle, I don’t tell you what to do anymore. You are a grown woman and you can make your own choices.” Noelle waited for him to continue. She remained in silence. “But this —thing that you have with Declan? It will not lead anywhere good for either of you, I can promise you that. Edmund, on the other hand, he understands us. He is one of us.”

  Noelle stood in shock as her father spoke. “How can you say that Edmund is a good person, after what he did to me?”

  “He had his reasons, Noelle, which we now know. As I recall, wasn’t it Declan who set out to hunt your entire family?”

  “He wasn’t behind that,” Noelle said angrily.

  “He was the alpha,
” Garett said simply. “He could have stopped it if he wanted to.”

  Noelle was hurt by her father’s words. How could he have gone from despising Edmund to adoring him so quickly? Did no one care about what he had done to her? Or perhaps her own father weighed the importance of the cause heavier, and over the life of his own daughter. Tears sprang to Noelle’s eyes, but she turned away before he could see them.

  “I have to go,” Noelle said. She walked toward the door and did not turn back again to see her father, or to witness the gentle gleam of the tears reflecting in his own eyes.

  “Theories spawning everywhere, are not necessarily truth.”

  Chapter 18

  Lies and Discoveries

  “And he knew that all threats must be neutralized.”

  Declan sat in his bed, steadily looking up at the ceiling. Maria had not returned which he took as a good sign, but still, the loneliness was getting to him more than usual these days. He wanted nothing more than to have Noelle laying in his arms, her body pressed against his, just to remind him that although he may not be a wolf, he was still very much alive.

  He looked out the window and the blackness of the night sky still stretched its tired arms, shadowing the entire city. He needed to sleep, but he couldn’t find peace enough to rest. He closed his eyes and tried to count sheep, just as his mother had taught him when he was boy. And when he was having nightmares about his father.

  He was at twenty-six when he heard a soft knock coming from the other side of his door. He opened his eyes, and there (standing in the doorway of his room) was Noelle. He sat up quickly and rubbed at his eyes to be certain he wasn’t imagining her, but she was still standing there, looking at him when his vision focused again.

  “Noelle?” Declan called out quietly.

  She started walking toward him without responding, and Declan started to get nervous. Why wasn’t she saying anything?

  When she got closer to him, he was finally able to make out her features, and in her eyes, Declan saw tears sitting on the brim, waiting patiently for her lids to send them traveling down her face. She held out a small bottle to him and Declan reached for it slowly. His fingers brushed over hers and he felt a familiar rush of heat course through his body.

  “This is for Maria,” Noelle said finally. And as though those three words sucked out all the energy she had left, she collapsed onto the bed and broke down in tears.

  “Noelle?” Declan placed the bottle carefully on his nightstand and then turned his attention to her. “What happened? Why are you so upset?”

  “Nothing is easy anymore, Declan,” she said between sobs. “No matter what decision you make, you hurt someone you love, or you lose them. Is this what life is supposed to be all about? Just always dealing with grief and loss, and shitty, fucked up dilemmas?”

  “No, Noelle, no.” Declan stroked her hair softly, hoping that she would be able to calm down enough to tell him where she had been and how she was able to get the cure. “Life isn’t about that, it’s about learning to recognize the good moments, those times of joy and peace —those are the moments that we cling to during shitty, fucked up dilemmas. It’s the only way we make it through.”

  Noelle looked up at Declan and rubbed her eyes, wiping away the tears. She was still struggling, trying to catch her breath when Declan leaned in toward her, kissing her softly. She pulled back briefly and looked at him —this beautiful man who had helped her with so much and who loved her, despite everything she’d done to prove that she didn’t deserve his love. She leaned toward him and pressed her lips against his, firmly. Her tongue teased his lips open and they explored each other’s mouths without hesitation.

  Declan reached for his own shirt and pulled it off, over his head. The way that Noelle was kissing him told him that she was in no mood to take things slow today, and to be honest, neither was he. He reached under her shirt and unclasped her bra deftly, with one hand. She removed the straps without taking off her shirt and slid the bra out from underneath —her nipples rubbed against the soft fabric of her shirt. Declan cupped a breast and put his mouth around it, flicking tenderly at her nipple until it stood out from her skin.

  Noelle moaned in pleasure as she ran her fingers down his bare skin. Declan trailed kisses down her stomach to the waistband of her pants and unbuttoned them quickly, pulling down the zipper simultaneously. He stood up from the bed and pushed her to lie down. In one swift pull, he removed her pants and threw them to the ground.

  There was a knocking sound and Declan looked around the room and then at Noelle. “Did you hear that?” he asked.

  Noelle nodded and propped herself up on her elbows. Declan walked to the window of his bedroom and peered outside, but he didn’t notice anyone there. He went to the front door of his apartment and looked through the peep hole, but saw nothing.

  As he walked back into the bedroom, he found Noelle lying there, completely naked. He quickly forgot about what he was looking for in the first place.

  Declan climbed onto the bed on all fours and he pushed Noelle’s legs apart with his nose. He leaned down further and brought his face to her sweet place between her thighs. His hot breath against her skin sent shivers all over her body and she had to try not to push his face against her.

  Declan didn’t let the anticipation drag on a moment longer —he licked her skin softly and let his tongue travel all over the folds of her skin until it landed on her sweet spot. There, he flicked his tongue voraciously as his fingers went inside of her, pushing in and out. Noelle arched her back and moaned loudly, gripping the back of his head and pressing it closer to her body.

  Declan could feel her building up and the muscles tightened around his fingers. He closed his eyes and focused on his rhythm, willing her to finish for him. As though she heard his secret desires, Noelle exploded all over his fingers and Declan moved his tongue expertly around her.

  Declan quickly removed his own pants, and without any hesitation, he plunged inside of her. But Noelle had another idea —she moved her body so that she was on her knees with her chest to the bed and her head to the side. Declan smiled at her and moved behind her, caressing her skin softly before reinserting himself inside. He grabbed her hips and pushed himself in and out of her wetness. He could hear her moans and it only made him harder.

  Declan leaned forward and grabbed each of her breasts with his hands, fondling them. He continued to rock his hips against hers. He could feel everything building up inside of him and he knew that he was about to finish. He leaned back and grabbed hold of her hips once more, thrusting himself inside of her, until finally, all the pressure was released.

  Declan slowly removed himself and laid back on the bed while Noelle quickly stood and walked over to the bathroom. Declan welcomed the familiar sensation of euphoria wafting over him, but when he looked over at the nightstand, he was quickly reminded of the conversation which he needed to have with Noelle.

  She emerged from the bathroom moments later and sat down on the bed next to Declan, resting her head against his chest. “You are the only thing that makes sense to me anymore,” Noelle whispered.

  Declan clenched his eyes shut —he wanted to give in to her and to this moment. He did not want reality to come invading in as it always did. Instinctively, he knew that they were running out of time and he needed the truth from her. He pulled away from her slightly, and looked down at her peaceful face.

  “Noelle, we really need to talk.”

  Noelle picked up her head and opened her eyes to look at Declan. She took in his worried expression and sighed as though she knew this conversation would not go anywhere good.

  “I know we do,” she said, pulling herself up so that she sat crisscross in front of Declan. Suddenly aware of her nudity, she pulled the covers from the bed and folded them over herself to offer some sort of shield.

  Declan picked up the bottle from the nightstand and looked at the clear liquid sloshing around inside. “Let’s start with this,” he said quietly. “How
did you get it?”

  “When I left your apartment the day that Maria came here, I went to see my parents as we had discussed. Only when I got there, I found them packing their things, and they told me that the council rebels had offered them the cure to be human again. They decided to take it.” Noelle looked down at her hands as she told the rest of the story. “I went with them because I knew that Edmund would be the only chance to get this cure for Maria.”

  “So, you saw him then?” Declan asked, a hint of jealousy creeping into his voice.

  “Yes,” Noelle said quietly. “And I met the rest of the council rebels as well. They —they found Megan’s family, Declan.” Declan raised his eyebrows at this, but he made no comment. “They found her family and the reason no one else could track them down was because werewolves…”

  Noelle trailed off as she remembered the picture of the young girl laying the ground. It was at this moment, that she remembered the photo she saw next —Declan’s father laying on the street, his head ripped off clean, detached from the rest of his body.

  “What is it, Noelle?” Declan asked as he took in Noelle’s change.

  “Declan, your —your father was killed by werewolves, too.”

  Declan studied Noelle’s expression carefully. He had never told her much about his father at all, and he certainly never told her about Dustin’s method of ridding their family of such a cruel man. Which meant that these “rebels,” as Noelle referred to them, had a frightening way of being able to get their information.

  “I know that’s what happened,” Declan admitted. Noelle’s head shot up and she stared at him with wide eyes, her mouth agape. “Noelle, my father —he was a very bad man. He hurt my mother and I, and…” Declan trailed off as he remembered finding his mother on the bathroom floor, bleeding through her hands. “It was Dustin who did it, Noelle. He saved my mother. He saved me.”

  Noelle’s head swirled with this new information. What had been such a shock to her, Declan had already known about. And, he seemed fine with it, more than that, he seemed genuinely at peace with what had happened.