Rain on Neptune

by Lisa Jade

  She rests a hand on my shoulder.

  “It’s been two years. You know you can tell me what really happened.”

  I look into her familiar eyes, and my throat aches. I want to tell her. I want to tell her how I made friends and fell in love and reunited with my mother. My lips part to spill the whole story… but I look away.

  “That stuff isn’t important.”

  “But Quinn…”

  “There’s no point dwelling on it,” I say firmly, “talking about it wouldn’t do anything but make me feel like crap. Why bother?”

  Before she can respond, I pull the letter out and begin reading.

  When I finish the letter slips from my hand, but I don’t move to collect it. My hands are frozen in place, still held in front of me.

  Did I just read that right?!

  Alice scoops up the paper and looks it over.

  “Oh, my god. T-The Neptune landed back on Earth?!”

  I just keep staring blankly ahead. It’s back? The ship came back?

  “Give me a second,” Alice says, “it says here… it landed on the other side of the Mainland a week ago, and passage has been arranged for all passengers to return to One today! That’s amazing! That explains why the message was so urgent!”

  She looks at me and her expression falters.

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  My chest fills with hope. Maybe my friends are still alive. Maybe they’re back on Earth, in Pyre, even – and I’ll be able to see then again. The thought is immediately followed by a thousand other, less optimistic options – that maybe the Captain took over the ship, maybe he killed them, maybe they’re coming for me next – but I swallow the thoughts down. No. If the Neptune has returned, then they must have come with it.

  Alice runs a hand through her hair.

  “S-since they never made it to Orithyia, nobody was taken as a test subject. And you’ve worked to void all their contracts from here – which means that all the Companions still have their freedom!”

  Gray raises his head now, listening intently to our conversation.

  “Am I hearing you right?” he gasps, “are they really back?”

  My hands quiver, then curl into fists. Hope. How long has it been since I’ve felt it? It feels like fire, something alive, something that never quite went out despite all that happened.

  Without warning, a familiar squeak emits across Four. Alice frowns.

  “The Elevator? I thought we didn’t use that unscheduled anymore.”

  “We don’t.”

  “Wait!”

  I don’t stop to listen – just start running.

  The sanctity of Four is well established by now. Nobody comes up or down without agreement on both sides. And we’re all aware of the schedule. There’s only one reason someone would be coming here now.

  The Neptune has returned, and with it, the passengers.

  Either they’re coming to kill me, or there’s someone I desperately need to see.

  The men working the Elevator apologise as I near, debating whether they should have accepted the request to lower it; but it’s just a couple of people, they argue. No real risk. It’s been over a year since anyone tried to infiltrate Four, and nobody would try now.

  I ignore their bickering and gaze at the Elevator. It’s fully lowered now, and the great metallic doors are starting to open. A voice in my head tells me to fear the worst. That the Captain might have won, that he’s come to finish me off. Words fill my head, ready to warn him away and tell him that he has no power here – but then someone shifts in the shadows, and the words die in my throat.

  The man who steps out is endlessly tall, with a slim body that betrays his true strength. Red-brown hair hangs past his waist, and is tied loosely into a ponytail. Amber-brown eyes scan the area, eventually settling on me.

  Isaac.

  Sure, he’s not the same Isaac that I once knew; there are fine lines forming around his eyes, and a generous layer of stubble on his chin. The youthful innocence has gone from his face, and he holds himself with a previously non-existent confidence. But it’s still him. After a moment, I see a glimmer of recognition in his eyes – and his face splits into a smile.

  “There you are,” he says.

  For a long moment, I’m not sure what to do with myself. I want to ask a million questions – how he survived, what happened after I left, how he survived two more years in that stupid tin can – but then I see his smile, and the questions fade away.

  I drop the act and race into his arms.

  “Y-you’re alive!” I gasp, burying my face in his chest. He lets out a small laugh.

  “I was about to say the same thing.”

  He lifts me, spins me around in the middle of the Elevator. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, still held just above him. I feel breathless, weightless; and as he pulls me toward him, I lean in and press my lips to his.

  After two years, this feeling hasn’t changed. All the panic in my chest suddenly vanishes, and my worries feel like nothing at all. Because I’m kissing Isaac, and his arms are wrapped around me, and for a moment I’m consumed by the warmth in his skin, and the softness in his touch, and the sound of his breathing.

  This feels natural. This feels right.

  My feet hit the ground and suddenly I can breathe again. Tears stream down my face, and his eyes widen.

  “A-are you crying?”

  “What else do you expect?” I bark, “I’ve spent all this time thinking…”

  He leans a little closer, entwining his fingers in mine.

  “Oh, yeah? Imagine how I felt! The last time I saw you, you were rocketing into the middle of space in a freaking shuttle. I had no way of knowing if you’d got home. For all I knew, you’d been sent into a black hole!”

  I laugh, wanting to point out that it’s impossible, but suddenly find I don’t care.

  “S-so much for coming straight home,” I say tearfully, “you guys really don’t do anything by halves, do you?”

  “I told you, remember? The ship could survive for years if we needed it to.”

  I thump weakly at his chest.

  “That doesn’t mean it’s okay to be gone for so long! Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you?”

  He doesn’t respond – just leans down and kisses me again. I let my eyes slip closed. Fireworks play behind my lids. He pulls away and smiles.

  “I think we have a lot to tell one another,” he says softly, “about what we’ve missed.”

  “You have no idea.”

  Suddenly, another voice chirps up.

  “Wow, look at that. Two kisses! Hope I get the same.”

  I pause. That voice. Dripping with familiarity, far too casual to be anyone else.

  Luci stands behind us, watching with a bemused expression. She, too, seems significantly older – there’s a certain wisdom in her eyes, and a strange air of maturity about her. Her white-blonde dye has almost totally grown out, revealing her natural chestnut brown. But she’s still Luci. Her locks are still curled to perfection, and she still wears clothes covered in glitter. When she smiles, I notice her crimson lipstick and sharp black eyeliner.

  I let out a small gasp.

  “Y-you’re here too?!”

  “Of course. You think I’m going to let my brother have all the fun? I missed you too, you damn idiot.”

  And then she’s on me, wrapping her thin arms around my shoulders. She smells like floral soap and perfume – just like I remember. Like the night she asked me to sleep in her bed with her. When she finally pulls away, her eyes brim with tears.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask. She shakes her head.

  “Y-you…”

  She lets out a wail.

  “You cut all your hair off!”

  I touch my head gingerly.

  “What? You don’t like it?”

  “It’s terrible! I always loved your hair! And what on Earth are you wearing?”

  She cackles like it’s a bad joke, but her tears
tell a different story.

  “Luci…”

  “I should have known,” she laughs, “two years without me and you’ve regressed to being totally unfashionable! Though I guess it’s to be expected. From what we’ve been told on One, you’re an academic now!”

  I scoff.

  “Hardly. I had to find some way to fill my time until you guys came back.”

  She sniffs deeply, then grasps my hand in hers.

  “Isaac told me what happened that day. That you’d been fired into space. After we calmed down the crew members who tried to fight back, and regained control of the ship, we did everything to try and recall the shuttle… but by the time we figured it out, you were too far away.”

  She rubs at her face, messing up her perfect makeup.

  “We decided it would be risky to send Dad back to Earth, in case he tried to hurt you again. So we tried to get the resistant crew members to help us navigate back home, but they wouldn’t! It took a year just to figure out how to fly the stupid ship, by which point, we had almost lost hope. We didn’t know if we’d ever see you again.”

  “I can understand that,” I chuckle, “it’s been two years, and some days I still wake up thinking I’m on the Neptune. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been living without you assholes around?”

  “Assholes?! A Companion shouldn’t be so rude.”

  Isaac laughs.

  “Weren’t you listening to the debrief? Companions don’t exist anymore. Quinn put a stop to it.”

  Luci stares.

  “I need to hear that story! No wait, actually don’t. Terri, Sabina and Finn will want to hear it too, once everything’s settled. But I can’t wait to hear it!

  “I’m sure we will,” says Isaac, “but not right now. I think there are more important things we need to talk about.”

  He’s right. As I look over his shoulder, I can see people gathering outside. I don’t blame them – an unscheduled arrival is unusual enough without the added sound of crying. We should make our excuses and leave. I sigh.

  “I think so. Follow me. I have some people I need to introduce you to.”

  Thirty-One

  “Wow. I can’t believe all that really happened.”

  Alice leans towards me, her mouth open in shock. It’s the first time I’ve told her the entire story, leaving out none of the finer details – and both she and Dad have listened to every agonising word. Their faces dropped during some of the gorier parts, especially when Luci and Isaac jumped in to fill the gaps in my consciousness.

  We’ve spent the last few hours back at home, sitting in a circle on the musty carpet. After several nerve-wracking introductions, the siblings questioned why I never told my family the truth; and so I did.

  Gray perches on the sofa, his arms wrapped protectively around his wife. His face is drained of all colour.

  “So wait,” he says weakly, “tons of people died on the ship?”

  “Yes.”

  His eyes widen.

  “And you… you almost died.”

  I laugh.

  “That’d be another yes.”

  He shakes his head.

  “Wow, Quinn. I always thought you were mad, but…”

  “I’m not even going to disagree with you on that count.”

  Isaac leans closer, and his hand tightens around mine. I still can’t believe how much I’ve missed his touch. Alice runs a hand through her hair and lets out a small noise, like she’s trying to process the information we’ve just unloaded.

  “What happened to the Captain?” she eventually asks.

  “He was kept in the cells until we landed,” Isaac shrugs, “and he’s been handed over to the new Council. He’ll have to go through a trial, but for now he’s limited to One.”

  Her face crumples and she looks at me.

  “And your mother… Angela…”

  “Angelique,” Luci corrects her, “as she was known on board.”

  “Angelique. She was behind all the attacks?”

  “I guess so,” I shrug, “after everything they had put her through, I don’t think I can blame her for it. She was misguided, took the wrong approach… but she was trying to help us, in her own messed up way.”

  Alice frowns.

  “And they killed her.”

  “Yeah. She got caught in the hail of bullets when the Captain attacked.”

  Suddenly, the words catch in my throat.

  “If he hadn’t attacked when he did… if she’d saved herself instead of me… she might be here now.”

  Dad lets out a small noise from the doorway, then turns away.

  “D-Dad?”

  No reply. Just the sound of the front door clicking shut.

  I burst into the hallway after him, but I’m too late. His shoes are gone and the door is locked. I stare out of the nearest window, but it’s too dark to see where he’s headed.

  Guilt twists in my stomach. I should never have said that. He knew that she’d died on the journey, but until tonight I’d never told him how. I never told him that she took the chance to protect me instead of saving herself.

  The others follow me into the room.

  “Did he run away?”

  “Must have been upset about your mother.”

  “Where do you think he went?”

  I bite my lip. If he’s thinking about Mom, then there’s only one place he’ll go.

  We find Dad standing at the Drop-off, his eyes fixed on something in the distance. It’s strange to see him out here, silhouetted by the moonlight, his shoulders limp and his chin turned up to the heavens. I ignore the shiver of discomfort at being back out here again. I’ve avoided this place for two years, afraid of what memories might come rushing back if I dare to step onto the ledge.

  Isaac fires a nervous look at me, but I wave him away.

  “Let me speak with him.”

  I step up next to Dad and glance over, fully expecting tears. Instead, I pause.

  He’s smiling.

  “Dad…”

  “I know you did your best out there.”

  He fixes me with a smile, then holds out a hand for me to take. I do so immediately.

  “Dad. She died saving me. I wanted you to know that. I… I didn’t ask her to do it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t shoulder some of the blame. I do. All she wanted was to come home to you. That’s all she ever wanted.”

  “Quinn. Stop it.”

  Dad squeezes my hand.

  “It’s a tragedy, really. To have lost someone like that. But in truth, I’m pleased it happened.”

  “Y-you are?”

  He gives a tearful smile.

  “I’m happy you got to see her one more time. That means more to me than anything.”

  “But…”

  “I still love her. Always have. You think you were the only person who came out here to look at the stars? I’ve always been waiting for her to come home.”

  I bite my lip.

  “But… she’s not coming back.”

  “True. But maybe that’s okay. Maybe now, I can finally stop waiting.”

  For a long moment we both stare at the inky sky. There’s a half-crescent moon tonight, reflected perfectly by the gentle waves. Behind me, I hear the others shuffle and step forward, falling into line beside us.

  And one by one, all eyes lift towards the stars. Even those who never really cared for them turn upward, as though acknowledging them for the first time. Isaac’s hand touches my shoulder, a comforting reminder that my journey wasn’t for nothing.

  “Dad. One second.”

  He releases my hand and I lift it to my head, gently untying the white ribbon from my hair. His face falls.

  “Quinn. Your loss knot.”

  “It’s okay. Really.”

  As my hair falls loose, I stare at the ribbon in my hand.

  A loss knot is for remembering. But I don’t need it anymore.

  I take a step toward the sea. I won’t come out here again. That part of my life is ove
r, and I can’t spend forever reminiscing.

  A small smile plays on my face. Sorry, Cherise. You asked for something cool, but I suppose this will have to do.

  I lift my hand and unfurl my fingers. A moment later, a gentle breeze picks the ribbon up and scoops it into the air, where it dances softly on the wind.

  Once it’s out of my reach, I turn and head inland.

  “Quinn?”

  “Hey,” says Dad, “don’t you want to stay for a while?”

  I allow my smile to widen.

  “You know what? I think I’m okay.”