Amazon Challenge

by Robin Roseau

  "You don't have the right to keep me here," I whined.

  "You've been ordering me around my entire life," Beria said. "You'll live letting me do it for one night." She reached up and pulled my chin towards her. "I love you, Maya. I know you're angry, but you love her. You don't want to leave. You want this fixed."

  "And somehow this is going to fix it?" I gestured at the nest she'd made of my bedding.

  "This is just distance," she said. "A chance to cool down and recover your pride before it goes so far you can't."

  When I didn't respond, Beria and Bea talked past me for a while. The other companions tromped in and out bringing more bedding and pillows, wine, and food. Jasmine arrived first with a basket.

  "Glasses and two of the bottles of wine," she announced. She set the basket down on the floor and pulled out one of the bottles and a corkscrew. She looked at both of them. "Who knows how to use this?"

  I had never opened a bottle of wine in my life, and neither had the other two.

  "No worries," she said. She grabbed the second bottle. "I'll be right back."

  She disappeared and was gone for several minutes. When she returned, both bottles were open.

  "I had to wrest them away from Ralla," she said with a grin. "She wanted to keep them, but then Aura arrived with a small keg of beer, and they were happier." She poured wine and handed a glass to each of us. I drank my glass half down in one gulp. Beria took the bottle from Jasmine and had my glass refilled before I could even set it down.

  I looked over at her. She smiled and drank some of her own wine.

  "Getting drunk doesn't solve any problems," I told her. "I don't really enjoy it."

  "We're not trying to solve any problems tonight," she replied. "We're here to calm you down and remind you how many friends you have. And keep you in one place until you get your head screwed back on properly."

  "We might have to let you finish popping it off first," Bea said. She picked up my glass and handed it to me. "Drink up."

  "I'm pacing myself."

  "That was an order," Bea added.

  I glared at her but took a sip of the wine. She reached over and lifted the bottom of the glass, forcing me to drink more. I finished half the glass before she let me stop. She smiled sweetly at me.

  It took several more minutes before all the companions rejoined us in the hut. We had tons of bedding and pillows, and they made one big nest out of them, everyone getting comfortable. Serra brought food and several more bottles of wine as well as a cask of cider, taking several trips to haul everything.

  "I'd like some cider," I said quietly.

  "Finish your wine first," Beria said, and when I looked down, my glass was full again. I was getting tired of glaring at people, so I picked up the glass and drank the wine. A few seconds later, Serra handed me a mug of cider and a plate of meats and cheeses.

  After that, I let the conversation flow around me. I was still angry, but even more, I was embarrassed. Malora had told me flat out that in a fight, I was worse than useless. I felt like a complete fool.

  They managed to get two more glasses of wine into me.

  "You're quiet," Beria said, nudging me. "Got a good pity party going on over there?"

  "Shut up," I told her rudely.

  "Poor Maya," Beria said mockingly. "Queen's Companion, the woman half the village go to when they have a problem to talk about. Manages, well, pretty much everything, and does a darned good job at it. Part of the Amazon ruling council. And it's all not enough."

  "The most respected companion amongst the Amazons," Bea added. "Perhaps the most controversial, but the most respected."

  "No one respects me," I said hotly.

  "I do," Serra said immediately. She was oldest of all of us, the only companion here older than I was.

  "So do I," Bea said. "You're my best friend, Maya." She hugged me, a one-armed hug.

  "I have spent my entire life looking up to you, Maya," Beria said. "And while this little pity party you're having isn't a better moment for you, you are the example I use when making my own decisions. I was pretty young when you became the teacher, and I don't really remember before that, but I remember how hard you worked. Did you ever hear me actually complain about my homework?"

  I thought about it. "No."

  "I looked at homework the way you look at the training grounds, but I never complained because no matter how hard I had to work at it, I knew you were working three times as hard. And none of that has changed since we arrived here."

  I looked down at my lap, at my purple hands. I stared at them, not saying anything.

  "You took over the tithe distribution," Serra said, "and we never have shortages anymore."

  "Then this is the only village that can say that," I muttered. "Everyone else hates how I handle it."

  "That's not true," Serra replied. "There are a few vocal voices, and you're letting them speak for all the villages? Why?"

  "That's not like you," Beria said. "You've never let a few dissenting voices eat at you like this."

  "It's not just a few-"

  "It certainly is," Jasmine said. "I've been on the tours you and Malora take, and I hear the chiefs there thanking you. Sure, some of them mutter, but people mutter. People complain. It wouldn't matter what you did, some people are going to mutter. But even the ones who mutter thank you because they know it's all being done better than if someone else was doing it."

  "Like me," said Serra. "I can manage our kitchen, but that's it."

  "What about the recruiting? I'm keeping the Amazons from recruiting the way they want."

  "Thank god!" said Beria. "You're the only thing standing between the way things are being done now and the way you were recruited. Is that what you want? Do you want us riding into some helpless village and saying, 'you, you, and you, come with us' without even saying goodbye to their parents? Like almost happened to me?"

  "But-"

  "But what?" Bea asked. "Is she wrong?"

  "No, but-"

  "But what?"

  "Too many don't have companions, and unless I spend more time recruiting, it's not going to get better as fast as it should."

  "Well, what are you going to do about that?" Beria asked.

  "I-"

  "It's not like anyone else is going to solve it," Jasmine said. "Ralla thinks you should enforce a quota at each village, at least one girl, and she thinks more, but at least one."

  "Then why haven't they?"

  "They?" Serra asked. "Who is this 'they'. Why haven't you? You're the one deciding the recruitment policies."

  I stared at her. "No I'm not."

  "Of course you are," Jasmine said. "Ralla told me Malora put you in charge of it, and she was backing your decisions."

  "Malora must not respect you very much if she put you in charge of something so important," Beria said with a sarcastic grin.

  "But-" I paused. "Everyone bitches about how I run it."

  "Well, so you admit you're the one running it," Beria said. "And how many complained this past year?"

  I sighed. "Several, one far more loudly than the others."

  "Not everyone?" she asked. "Just several."

  "Shut up."

  "And how many thanked you."

  "Shut up."

  She grinned. "I love it when you concede an argument. You're always so gracious about it."

  "Shut up," I said, but I couldn't help smiling a little.

  She handed me my wine and told me to drink it. I sighed and drank.

  "Well," said Bea, "can we go wrestle now? I've never wrestled drunk before."

  I groaned.

  "It'll be fun," she said, nudging me. "Pinning only. I don't think any of us have the control to be trusted with submission holds, and I think most of us have our pain tolerance too high to tap out when we should."

  I sighed. "You guys go on. I'll wait right here."

  "Nice one," Beria said, climbing to her feet. She was a little unsteady. I'd never seen her drink more than
a glass or so before.

  I needed help getting to my feet, and I realized I was at least as drunk as any of them. To say I was unaccustomed to alcohol would be an understatement.

  "Bring the wine," Bea said with a grin. "Loser of each match has to drink a glass."

  "Half a glass," Serra said. "Some of us have had enough already."

  Aura grabbed my arm and Bea grabbed the other, and together, we made our unsteady way to the training grounds. Bea tried to get everyone to sing on the way, but everyone shushed her.

  "Are you trying to get us caught?" Neela asked.

  "Caught doing what?" she asked.

  "Um. Isn't there a. Um. What's the word?" She was slurring her words badly. "You know, where we're not supposed to do something?"

  "A rule?" Beria asked.

  "Yeah. A rule about getting drunk?"

  "Yes, there is," Serra said. "No getting drunk without the village chief's permission. Good thing we have permission." And she began singing. Soon they all joined her. I couldn't even make out the words.

  We got to the training grounds.

  "Okay," said Bea. "Um. The rules. There are no rules!"

  "Of course there are rules," Beria said. "No biting."

  "No tickling!" Bea said. "Um. Wait. Actually, yeah, loser has to drink AND gets tickled."

  "One or the other," Beria said.

  "Fine," Bea agreed. "Winner decides whether the loser has to trink or get dickled."

  "That's not right," Aura said. "You mean whether the loser has to drinkle or get ticked."

  Serra shook her head. "You're all drunk."

  I plopped down in the grass. "I'll watch."

  "Uh uh uh," said Beria. "You have to wrestle anyone who asks. That's the rule."

  "I agree," said Aura. "That's the rule." She turned to Beria. "Will you mrestle we?"

  Serra shook her head again.

  "Wait!" Bea said. "I want to go first."

  "You were slow," Aura said. "Beria and I are going first."

  "I am," she said. "I want to wrestle Maya. She's going to get tickled. Or drunk."

  "She's already drunk" Gweneth said, "and I'm youngest so I'm going first. Maya you have to wrestle me."

  "Ooh!" said Bea. "Okay, Gwya and Meneth!"

  I looked up at her. "You're doing that on purpose! I don't think you're at all drunk."

  "Doing what on purpose?" she said, swaying while standing over me. "Wait. No changing the subject. You have to wrestle her." She pointed to Gweneth.

  I sighed.

  "We're starting down," Serra said. "You're all drunk, and we don't want anyone getting hurt."

  I let Gweneth pull me where she wanted to wrestle then knelt down.

  It was actually a good match, if sloppy. Gweneth began giggling the minute she took position over me. She finally got serious and pinned me, but we were both breathing hard by the time Serra declared Gweneth the winner.

  Gweneth continued to hold me there. "So, what shall it be? Shall we tickle you, or make you drink."

  No one else waited. They launched themselves at me, and I soon found myself trying to escape their fingers. They rolled me onto my stomach and sat on me. Someone sat on my legs and yanked one of my boots off, tickling my foot terribly.

  I couldn't do anything but beg them to stop. Then I begged them to stop before I soiled myself.

  "Stop!" Serra said. "She's full of wine and cider!"

  They climbed off me slowly, everyone laughing. Neela handed me my boot, grinning at me.

  Gweneth was particularly pleased. "I won!"

  I pulled her into a hug. "You did. I'm a terrible warrior."

  "Yes," she said, "But you're a great senior companion." She plopped down in my lap and hugged me. "Thank you."

  I wasn't expecting that. I wrapped my arms around her, and she held me for a long time. "You're always so kind to me," she whispered.

  "All right," Bea said. "You had your fun. Someone else go, then it's my turn."

  Gweneth climbed off me and I looked at Bea. "I thought you were anxious to wrestle."

  She grinned. "I am, but we can't make you wrestle every match."

  Aura challenged Beria, barely beating her. She made my sister drink. Then Bea asked me to wrestle. She giggled more than Gweneth did, and it was infectious. She actually had a difficult time pinning me, we were both giggling too hard, but then Beria said, "If this match isn't over in one minute, you're both getting tickled and drinking besides."

  That sobered us both up, and Bea had me pinned in plenty of time.

  "Make her drink," Beria said. "You've both had enough giggling."

  Bea climbed off me and someone handed me a half glass of wine. "All at once," Bea said. "Or you have to drink another one with us holding you down."

  "Changing the rules?" I asked. She giggled, and I drank the wine.

  After that, well, they got me really drunk, but they were all drunk, too. But the time we were done, none of us was able to walk straight, but we were all hot and sweaty.

  "Time to go swimming," Bea said. She pulled me to my feet.

  "Um." I wavered back and forth. "Drunking swim is a bad idea."

  "What?" Beria said.

  "Um. Lifeguard?"

  "Oh. Okay." She hooked my arm, and then Jasmine had my other arm, and I didn't see where everyone else was, but in one long, wavering line, we went to find our warriors.

  "They're in Nori's hut," Serra said. "Shhh. We'll surprise them."

  Every time any of us made noise, the rest of us said, "shhh" loudly. Yes, we were quiet, quiet as mice.

  We didn't exactly surprise them as we piled into Nori's hut, several of us banging against the doorframe on the way.

  "We're going swimming!" Bea announced loudly. "But Maya's being a party pooper."

  "Am not!" I said.

  "She said we need a guard," Aura said. "I think she's afraid of bears."

  Malora stood up and walked over to us, studying us carefully. "Are you all drunk?"

  "Not me," I said, wavering. "I'm really, really drunk." I poked her in the chest. "Bea made me drink."

  "We all made her drink," Beria giggled.

  "You're all going to be so hung over," Malora said. "But I think it's time to put this one to bed." She reached for me, but I backed away and waved a finger at her.

  "You don't get to touch me. Still mad at you! We're going swimming. Need a. um."

  "Lifeguard," Beria furnished.

  "Not you!" I said, poking Malora again.

  She sighed. "Ralla?"

  Ralla stood up. "Nori, I think we need you, too."

  "Woo hoo," said Bea. "We're going swimming!"

  Bea grabbed me and started pulling me away, but Malora stopped her. "You will do whatever Ralla or Nori tell you to do."

  "Or what?" I asked. "Going to dye me green instead?"

  "We've got it, Malora," Nori said. "She'll behave."

  Ralla and Nori herded all the companions outside. I found myself surrounded by companions, tugged along to the river. Ten seconds later, half the companions were in the pool, having taken off little more than her boots. I plopped down on the rocks and struggled to get my boots off. A moment later, Ralla was kneeling in front of me, helping me.

  "I've never seen you drunk, Maya."

  "She's never been drunk," Beria said. She slapped me on the back. "It took your little sister to get you drunk. Ha!"

  "Nori," said Ralla, "this is a really bad idea."

  "Do you want to try to stop them?" Nori asked. Nori knelt down next to Ralla, looking into my eyes. "You're going to suffer tomorrow, Maya."

  "Don't care," I said. I struggled with my boots. Ralla was taking too long.

  "Stop it," she said. She finally tugged one off and began on the other.

  Next to me, Beria was stripping out of the last of her clothes. Moments later she began plucking at mine.

  "Hey!" I said, slapping her away. "I can do it."

  "Betcha can't," she said.

  "Whatcha want
to bet?" I asked.

  "Loser has to kiss Nori," she said.

  "I'm not kissing either of you," Nori said. "You're both drunk, and I have no intention of explaining it to your warriors."

  "Party pooper," Beria said.

  Ralla got my other boot off. She was smirking but keeping her comments to herself.

  "So, are we betting or not?" I asked my sister.

  "Fine. If you get your clothes off without help, then I'll let Malora dye me purple so we match. But if you can't, then you have to do whatever I say for a month."

  "No way," I replied.

  "The dye will last that long, so you should have to do what I say for a month," she repeated.

  "No," I said. I fumbled with my clothing. For some reason I couldn't undo the buttons of my tunic. I stared down at them.

  "We really shouldn't let her swim," Ralla told Nori.

  "I'll swim like this," I said, trying to struggle to my feet.

  "Told ya you couldn't get them off," Beria said. "You should have bet."

  I fell over twice until finally Nori and Ralla stepped forward. They helped me to my feet, then Nori began plucking at my buttons. I tried to slap her away. "You didn't want to kiss me, so you don't get to undress me."

  "Let her undress you," Beria said. "She's been dying to for three years."

  "Shut up, Beria," Nori said. Then she was tugging my tunic over my head. She slid my leggings down over my hips after that, then she and Ralla helped me towards the water. Beria ran ahead of us and jumped in.

  "You will stay in the shallow portion until Ralla and I join you," Nori ordered. "If you disobey me, we will haul you out and hogtie you for a week. Do you hear me, Maya?"

  I looked over at her. "You're not the water trainer, Nori," I said. "You don't get to tell me that."

  "I am tonight," she said. "Stay in the shallow area, Maya."

  "Fine," I said. "But I'm dunking you later."

  "Good luck with that," she said.

  They helped me into the water, and the companions were waiting for me. I stepped in and walked out a little bit, but Nori said, "That's far enough, Maya. I mean it."

  "Everyone thinks she can tell me what to do," I muttered. But I didn't think she was bluffing. I slumped down in the water.