Confessions of a Heartbreaker

by Sucevic, Jennifer

  "I like watching movies."

  I step just a bit closer. She doesn't realize it yet but I'm moments away from pouncing. Or maybe she does. I'm not sure. With Jordan, I can never tell what she's thinking. She's a total mystery. "What kind of movies?"

  "Horror flicks," she admits softly. Her eyes hold mine.

  I almost smile. Ah, yes, scary movies. Makes it a hell of a lot easier to get all snuggled up when you're watching something terrifying. I'm totally loving that idea right now. I wouldn't even mind blowing off Carter Callaghan's party to spend the night watching movies with Jordan. In fact, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

  Slowly I step just a teeny bit closer. Her chin inches up as she continues to watch me. Her mouth parts just a little before the tip of her tongue darts out to moisten her lips.

  Man, I just want to yank her to me and crush my lips down on hers. Right here. Right now. I have been literally dying to kiss her all week. Ever since I met her at that party. And I'm not used to waiting for gratification when it comes to girls. Hell, I usually have to fight them off with a stick. "Well maybe we could-"

  Here it goes, I'm moving in for the kill. I’m inching closer. Closer…

  "Hey Jor."

  That voice is like an icy cold bucket of water being thrown over us. And I say us because Jordan rips her eyes away from mine only to stare at the dude now hovering in the doorway. Her whole body stiffens for just a moment before it relaxes and then she smiles as if absolutely nothing had been happening between us.

  "Hey."

  My eyes slide from her to the tool standing by the door. Doesn't this guy realize that he just messed up my big moment here? My eyes narrow with aggravation. Hmmm, I know this guy. Chris Hartley. Senior. Varsity baseball player. Gets his fair share of the ladies, if you know what I mean. But he's still playing patty cake in the minors whereas I was drafted up to the majors pretty much right away.

  Jordan rather nonchalantly takes a step away from me before opening the lid of the copier and laying down another page.

  My narrowed eyes flick between the pair of them. I'm getting the feeling that something's up with these two. No one's saying anything and he's still hanging around.

  Which is starting to feel kind of awkward.

  Chris's eyes swing back to mine and I watch as he sizes me up. I almost bust out laughing.

  Seriously? As if, dude...

  I've known Hartley since 4th grade when he and his family moved here. We aren't close but we've always been on friendly terms. I've never had any problems with Chris.

  Apparently that's about to change.

  "Hey, Parker." He jerks his chin towards Jordan. "You helping my girl make some copies?"

  And just like that-territory is claimed. Without waiting for my reply, he saunters into the small space and lays his lips on hers. Jordan doesn't exactly fight him off either. My eyes narrow just a bit more. This guy just stole my kiss.

  Well this definitely screws up my game plan. I didn't say it changed my intentions, because it doesn't. I'll just have to modify some of my tactics now that I know what I'm up against.

  As Hartley pulls away from Jordan, his eyes slice knowingly to mine. Yep, definitely marking his territory. For all the good it will do him. Since we aren't exactly friends, there's no reason for me to worry about breaking any kind of bro code when I steal her away.

  Game on, Hartley. Game on.

  Chapter Six

  Yep, we kicked Mt. Clements butt's tonight. Just like I knew we would. Ah, the sweet taste of victory... Actually, it tastes a lot like beer. And it feels just as good going down too. I glance around Carter Callaghan's party because it's freaking huge.

  Epic proportions huge.

  Even though my eyes keep skimming over laughing faces, I'm pretty sure I won't be finding Jordan's. From what I know about her, this isn't exactly her scene. Plus, she all but said she'd be hanging out at the library this weekend. And yet, here I am, still hoping that she changed her mind.

  When exactly did I become such a loser?

  Was it around the time that I met her? Yeah, that's pretty much what I was thinking too...

  I'm just about to take another swig when I hear- "I saw you checking her out! I saw you! You're such a jerk!"

  This is screeched in a pitch so sharp and high that it actually hurts my ears. A few dogs howl as if in response.

  Great.

  Just barely am I able to resist rolling my eyes. Oh, what the hell- I just rolled them.

  Looks like we're all going to be forced to endure yet another episode of the Max and Emily Show starring Max and his crazy girlfriend Emily. Let's see what's going to happen on this week's episode... My prediction is that it will involve Emily screaming at her boyfriend Max (again) before breaking up with him (again) and storming off (again). In fact, I'd lay odds on it. They usually don't deviate too much from the script.

  It doesn't take long to find where the drama is set to unfold. You just have to follow the incessant screeching. Already there's a semi-circle forming around the pair. Emily stands with a blue plastic cup tilting precariously in one hand while her other hand is perched on her cocked out hip. She looks belligerent and a little blurry eyed- which is never a good combination. For Max, anyway. For everyone one else, it'll end up being one of the highlights of the evening.

  Yep, Mt. Emily looks just about ready to erupt. This isn't unusual behavior for our girl Emily. She literally rages at the drop of a hat. I've been an unfortunate witness to this way too many times before and if I hadn't, I could actually find a few video clips on YouTube. Just search under psychotic girlfriend goes ballistic on boyfriend.

  And there’s Max. He looks none too happy about the spectacle she's hell bent on causing.

  "Babe, seriously, I wasn't looking at her."

  Max mutters the words quietly probably hoping that he won't attract any more unwanted attention. But, like me, everyone knows that once things get heated between these two, you might as well grab some popcorn and pull up a lawn chair because the show is just about to start.

  "I saw you!"

  This is screamed rather shrilly as Emily's eyes go a little wild. It's probably only a matter of time before she hurtles that cup at him. It's also a well-known fact that Emily has a terrible pitching arm, which reminds me that I really shouldn't stand in the general vicinity of Max unless I'm looking to get soaked.

  "And I heard you say something about her tits!"

  Well that, unfortunately for Max, is true.

  He was just talking about Katie Schmidt's tits. But come on, the girl is totally built. It would be impossible not to discuss her boobs. Hell, I've had several in depth conversations about them myself. But that's Max. The guy doesn't have enough common sense to keep his opinions and comments to himself. Especially around Emily. Or Emily's friends. Yeah, it would probably be best to just not say anything at all. He definitely needs to learn how to filter.

  Here's my tip of the day- just because a thought pops into your head doesn't necessarily mean it should come out of your mouth. Lesson learned the hard way...

  And then it goes from bad to worse in less than a millisecond.

  "Em, I don't discuss anyone's tits but yours. You know I love your tits. They're completely awesome."

  Jeez.

  Emily's eyes widen and her face turns a very unflattering shade of purple. The backup dancers behind her also show their shock and disapproval by gasping and shooting daggers at him from narrowed eyes.

  Yeah, even I know you don't say something like that unless you're looking to get slapped or kneed in the balls. And since I’m fairly partial to my lower regions, I generally try to avoid that at all costs.

  "We're through," she roars in what can only be described as a demonic voice. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if her head started spinning, she seriously looks that pissed.

  "But-"

  Max tries to get a word in but it's pretty much useless at this point. He really should just stand there and shut up. Has he l
earned nothing at all throughout the years? Apparently not. I want to yell- make like an armadillo and curl up. But I don't because there's absolutely no way in hell I'm getting involved in this mess.

  "No buts! Everyone keeps telling me that I can do better than you and they are so totally right!"

  Well, that statement is debatable.

  Max has his flaws but so does Emily. I would say that at the end of the day, they pretty much cancel each other out. They're both nuts. Worse than that- they keep going back for more. Actually that's more like psychotic, if you ask me. Crazy should never hook up with crazy.

  "Katie can have you!"

  This is where Katie Schmidt, in her rather amazing top that shows off her gravity defying breasts, steps forward to join the conversation. "Um, yeah... I don't really want him."

  Max just looks at her and blinks. Apparently he's smartened up in the last two minutes because he doesn't say one damn word.

  "Well, I don't want him either! He's all yours from now on!"

  Katie eyes Max for just a moment as if mentally reconfirming her decision before she passes on him for a final time. "He's a total perv. I don't want anything to do with him."

  "Well," Emily sniffs, "apparently it's your tits he's into." Then she turns to glare at Max who is silently watching the exchange regarding who doesn't want him. Honestly, I want to bust out laughing but I don't. Only Max would have girls fighting about who's going to get stuck with him.

  Yep, totally freaking hilarious.

  "I mean it this time, we're done! Don't call or text me ever again because I am so over this."

  And with that, Emily stomps off with her posse in tow. Each girl glares at Max before following their esteemed leader someplace where they can all console Emily for the humiliation she's had to endure throughout the last seven months of this on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again relationship. Katie runs after Emily because apparently there's still more that needs to be hashed out between the two of them. And the majority of onlookers smartly follow the girls because at this point, anything can happen, which potentially means cat fight. And no one wants to miss that.

  Max turns to look at me before shrugging his beefy shoulders and taking a huge gulp from his cup. I'm not quite sure what to say about that either. My guess is that they'll be back together within a few days before one of them decides to pull the plug yet again by the following weekend.

  Freaking exhausting, man.

  That little demonstration is just one more example as to why I'm so adamant about avoiding relationships that last longer than a few hours spent groping around in the dark. Who needs all that crap? But here's the problem- Jordan. I seriously can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop wondering what would have happened if Chris Hartley, AKA- the douche bag, hadn't shown up and ruined a perfectly good moment between us.

  From all the intel I've been able to gather, Jordan and Chris have been seeing each other for about a month. So, it's nothing serious. Which is good news for me and bad news for Hartley.

  Well, well, well. Speak of the devil. It's Hartley.

  I search the immediate vicinity looking for Jordan and just when I'm about to give up, I spot her blonde head moving through the thick jostling crowd of people. For just a moment I watch them together. Then I watch as Hartley puts his arm around her shoulder before pulling her body close to his. I pretty much want to smash the flimsy blue plastic cup in my hand.

  If this is what jealousy feels like, then it pretty much sucks.

  I'm still stewing when someone elbows me in the ribs drawing my attention away from the happy couple.

  "Ow," I mutter. Irritated, I glance at the tool who just jabbed me. I should have known- it's Max. Within moments my eyes are sliding back to Jordan. I don't bother asking why he just elbowed me because we do that kind of thing all the time to each other and it was pretty much my fault for being caught unaware.

  Do you see what this girl is doing to me?

  "Who're you staring at?"

  I rip my eyes away before refocusing them on Max. Crap. Clearly I'm being too obvious. And that's bad because I never stand around mooning over some chick like a pathetic little puppy dog. I really need to pull my head out of my ass and get my shit together before this gets any more out of hand. This girl is really starting to mess with my head. Part of me wonders if banging her would help get her out of my system because this feeling of... wanting is just plain aggravating. I've never experienced anything like it before.

  "No one." No one I'm going to tell him about anyway.

  He smirks. Double crap. If Max catches one freaking whiff of this, he'll never let it go. The guy is like a dog with a bone when he locks onto something juicy. And me falling for some chick is definitely juicy.

  He scans the crowd as I take another drink from my cup. Thank God that almost half the school is jammed into this party or I'd actually be worried. Yep, this girl is definitely back to being my dirty little secret. And not because she's tutoring me either. She's turning out to be my kryptonite.

  "Yeah, right."

  Clearly I need to derail this conversation immediately. "So, where's Emily? You two lovebirds gonna patch things up tonight or what?"

  He rolls his eyes before draining the rest of his cup. Yeah, if she were my girlfriend, I'd probably be a heavy drinker too.

  "Nah. I'll call her in the morning. Straighten all this out."

  I wish I were a better person but I'm not, because I can't resist asking, "So, how does it feel to have two girls fight about who gets stuck with you?"

  He gives me a sour look which only makes me laugh harder. That was so freaking classic that it will live on for infamy and if it doesn't, I'll just have to keep bringing it up. "That girl is gonna drive me bat shit crazy."

  "What do you mean- gonna?" No, seriously. He's certifiably insane for even considering giving her a call tomorrow. If it were me, I'd be celebrating that I'm finally free from her evil clutches. They both need to have their heads examined.

  My eyes once again slide back to Jordan. You know what I like most about her? She's not crazy. Crazy chicks are the absolute worst and should be avoided at all costs. And Emily is as psycho as they come. It has to be tiring. I'm exhausted just watching from the sidelines. "Don't you get tired of all the drama?"

  He shrugs. "Hell, yeah."

  "Then why do you keep going back for more?" I'm genuinely interested in his answer... if it’s anything other than getting laid on a regular basis.

  He shrugs again. "When it's good, it's really good."

  "And how often is that?" Because from what I've seen- that's not too often. At least not often enough to put up with all that crap.

  Max blows out a long slow breath before conceding. "Point taken."

  But I can't resist adding, "Of course, this one is all on you, man. You should have known better than to stand around talking about some other girl's tits practically in front of her." I slap him upside the head. It's partial payback for elbowing me in the ribs and partly because he totally deserves it for being such a moron. "Seriously, what were you thinking?"

  Max chuckles as he rubs his head. “Yeah, I know. But come on, did you see the top Katie was wearing?”

  My lips slide upwards because of course I saw what she was wearing. Nothing escapes these eagle eyes. Especially a great set of tits in a nice, tight fitting scrap of material that we're going to loosely refer to as a very low cut shirt. The girl definitely has it going on. And I know that from personal experience as well.

  "Still, you're an idiot for saying it out loud."

  "Yeah, it probably won't be worth all the groveling I'll have to do tomorrow."

  I roll my eyes before unconsciously searching out Jordan again. But wait- she's no longer standing with Hartley. Scanning the area I see a petite blonde walking back towards the house. Quickly I clap Max on the shoulder. "Well, I'm sure you and Crazy will work it all out and live unhappily ever after. Listen, I've, ah," I glance down at the cup in my hands, "I'm going to
get a refill. Be back in a few."

  "But the keg's the other way, dude!"

  I don't even bother responding because I don't want to lose track of her through the thick crowd of bodies. So I push and shove my way, all the while trying to keep my eyes locked on her blonde head moving through the crowd.

  And yes, I feel like a complete stalker at this point.

  But what else can I do?

  She's like a drug careening through my system. And all I want at this point is to detox because honestly, this sucks royally.

  I watch her go into the bathroom before closing the door. Wanting to look as circumspect as possible, I lounge against the wall as if I'm waiting to take a leak. When the door opens again, Jordan steps out. Her gaze immediately locks onto mine. I do my best to act surprised.

  "Hey," I nod at her all casual-like. You know, like I haven't been watching her for the past twenty minutes or like I didn't just follow her to the bathroom like some kind of creeper. "Didn't expect to see you here tonight. What happened to your big plans at the library?"

  So this is what pathetic looks like... it's not really a good look on me.

  Looking equally casual, although maybe she's not acting like I am, she leans against the wall next to me. Her eyes hold mine. For just a moment she stares at me like I'm a puzzle she's trying to figure out in her head. I'm not going to lie- it's a little disconcerting. "I was there. And I'll be back there tomorrow again."

  "Don't you have a home to go to?"

  Something darkens in her eyes before she shrugs. "It's easier to get my work done at the library."

  Okay. Now, if I want to play this cool, then I need to keep this convo extremely light and extricate myself after a moment or two. You know, to leave her wanting more. That kind of thing. And I definitely don't want to bring up Chris Hartley like I actually give a damn about what's going on between them.

  "So, you're with Hartley, huh?"

  Did you just hear that big explosion? Yeah, well, that was me crash and burning. There's nothing but flames and wreckage down here. My dignity has all but been destroyed.