Hazed (Hazed & Unfazed #1)

by Brittany Butler

  “We’re taking a cab,” He says, shrugging off my expression. “What time is Lea comin’ over?”

  I look at my phone and panic when I see how late it is. Everyone is meeting at the apartment to drink before we go out. “She should be here in like fifteen minutes,” I say.

  “Do you want a drink?” He asks, pointing to his cup.

  “Not right now.” I stand and step into my heels, with one last mirror check, I smile and follow him into the living room. “Who’s coming?”

  He falls on the couch and pulls me into his lap. “Chandler, Kassi, Lea, your brother,” He sighs, “Joel, because the stupid fuck lives here.”

  I giggle at his disdain. “I can’t believe my brother’s coming. So awkward,” I say, scrunching my nose. Not that I’ve asked, but I get the feeling something is going on between Lea and Scott. And it’s not something I want to witness first hand tonight, or ever.

  His lips find my ear. “We have fifteen minutes…What to do,” He whispers.

  Like a child, I grab my ear, and move away from him. “Hayze…Lea will be early, you know that and Joel’s in the other room.”

  He rolls his eyes. “You’re right, fuck, this is why we need our own place.”

  “You’re getting your own place…I already have one.”

  “You wouldn’t have to share a room with Lea, you could shower alone…We could fuck in the living room without getting caught,” He says, patting my backside.

  “Hayze, no,” I complain. I need him to stop because his plan is working. I’m afraid if he says one more thing I’ll pack my bags immediately and move in.

  “Taylor, yes,” He mocks my voice, sounding spot on; I nudge him with my elbow.

  “I have a dorm that’s completely paid for. It would be crazy,” I say. At this point I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince, him or myself. “By the way, how is someone that doesn’t show up to work anymore paying for an apartment?”

  He laughs once and pats my leg, moving me as he stands. “I’m doing something else right now, I’ve talked to Randy about it. I’m not working there as much. No big deal,” he says, then walks into his room.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, following him. I cross my arms across my chest and lean against the door frame, watching as he changes shirts. He pulls the black button down shirt on, buttoning it as he looks at me.

  “It’s nothing really…I…” There’s a knock at the door and he walks past me to get it. I groan, knowing this conversation is dead. A lot could’ve happened in the days we didn’t talk.

  “Tay!” I recognize that voice, my head snaps up and I go into the living room. Lea wastes no time; she’s pouring a drink when I walk in. Shea walks from the kitchen, greeting me with a hug. Lea’s dress makes me feel better about mine, Shea’s navy blue dress is modest, her heels are short, and still put her over six-foot tall.

  “I didn’t know you were coming,” I tell Shea. I’m thrilled she’s here. I know I can’t handle being around this dysfunctional group of people without Shea and Lea.

  “I’m full of surprises. Hey, your brother’s running late,” Lea says. She kicks off her heels and sits on the couch with her drink.

  “This is gonna be so awkward.”

  Joel’s door swings open and my eyes snap to him. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve been around him, I’m nervous when he’s around. I can count on one hand how many bad experiences I’ve had with him, but it doesn’t shake my uneasy feeling. The door swings wider and Jenny walks out. I haven’t seen her since the accident and I feel bad about not checking on her. As she sways her hips through the apartment, looking smug, I remember why I don’t care to ask.

  “You guys have fun tonight. Some people have to work for a living,” she says on her way out.

  “Try working at a bar that’s closed during the week,” Shea fires back, wrinkling her nose as Jenny closes the door.

  Joel turns to us, forcing a tight smile. He walks to his room and lets out a long breath. “If you guys could not mention what you just saw, that would be great,” he says, motioning his hand between himself and the front door.

  Lea throws her head back, laughing. “You mean don’t tell the new girl about the old girl?”

  He nods his head.

  “Yeah…I have no control over my tongue when I’m drunk, but here’s to a good night. May we make better choices in the new year,” she says, raising her glass in his direction. He flips her off and walks to the kitchen.

  “Does he have to go with us?” Lea whispers but I look at him, hoping he doesn’t hear her. Hayze sits in the recliner, beside the couch, and pulls me in his lap.

  I lean closer to her, holding my hands around my mouth, I say, “Stop! Hayze is breaking his lease…This is the last time we have to endure him.”

  “You’re breaking your lease? Are you two moving in together?” Her eyes glance between us so quick, she looks animated.

  Hayze says yes at the same time I say no. His hands wrap around me pulling me closer, I feel his chest vibrate with laughter. “Eventually,” he tells her.

  “How much have you had to drink?” I ask him, hushed.

  He looks at me, baffled. “I’ve had three glasses of wine.”

  I shake my head, pulling further away from him. “But you’re filling them to the rim! That’s double!”

  “It’s New Year’s Eve, we’re all gonna drink too much. I’m just saving myself an extra trip,” he says, laughing at his own joke.

  “You two are like watching a train wreck,” Lea says.

  “We’re actually getting along really good right now,” I say, smiling.

  The door swings open and Chandler walks through, without an invitation. Kassi follows him, waving when she spots me. Chandler throws his thirty-pack on the counter and comes in our direction. I stand, getting out of his way and walk over to Kassi.

  “Hey! Want anything to drink?” I ask.

  Crinkling her nose, she shakes her head. “Nah, I have to be up early in the morning. My parents are coming in and I thought maybe I could see them without a hangover,” she says, giggling.

  “Understandable.”

  “I think they planned that on purpose,” she says, then walks over to join Chandler. She loops her arm through his and leans into him. She laughs, hanging onto every word he says. A pang of jealousy shoots through me. I don’t think Hayze and I ever went through that phase. I can’t remember looking like that, but maybe we’re different. Maybe their love is an infatuation that lights quick and fades just as fast. Maybe our feelings are the real deal, the type that light slowly and the flame doesn’t go out, it carries on, nagging your sanity until you wonder how you have hair left.

  I find two glasses on the counter and pick up the one nearest me. I take a gulp and slam the glass down, coughing. Hayze looks at me, brow cocked and I wave, letting him know I’m fine. The drink leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, I take a sip of water, mentally preparing myself for another drink. The second drink isn’t as bad, I quickly finish it and pick up the other glass. Whoever made them has a heavy pouring hand. Lea motions for me so I scoop up the cup and walk to the couch.

  “What are you drinking?” She asks when I sit beside her and Shea. Hayze is standing near the door, talking to Chandler and Kassi is by his side.

  “It was on the counter.” I shrug my shoulders, feeling the fast effect of the drink, my speech is a little slurred.

  “You look hot, by the way. I was afraid of what I might find… Just know that I came over here with a change of clothes for you,” Lea says.

  “She really did,” Shea giggles. “Where are we going tonight?”

  Lea perks up, anxious to lay out her plans. If nothing else, I have the best nights when I go out with her, she knows how to plan a night out. She dives into planning mode with Shea at the same time the door opens, bringing in another guest. She doesn’t bother speaking to us, instead she goes straight to Joel’s room and closes the door. Every time I see that happen, I feel sick, how
many girls are in and out of this apartment every day? I look at Hayze, slightly frowning, he winks at me and I giggle. I feel…drunk, maybe.

  Lea and Shea continue to talk, they even laugh at something but I can’t focus on them. I haven’t heard a word they’ve said.

  “Taylor!”

  “Hmm?” I look at Lea; my eyes are unfocused. I blink, but I’m still not able to see her clearly.

  “You okay?” She asks, concerned.

  “Yeah.”

  Minutes tick by and my mood is souring. I know something is off, maybe I’m coming down with something. Yeah, I’m sick, I have to be. I just need to walk over and tell Hayze. I brace my hands on each side of me and push from the couch, luckily I kicked my heels off before because I’m having a hard time walking.

  I stumble, but Hayze catches me. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He coos.

  Why does everyone keep asking me that? “I feel…” I almost say bad, but I stop myself. I don’t feel bad, just different.

  “You feel what, Taylor?” I hear panic in his voice, I close one eye and find that I can focus better on his face this way.

  “There you are,” I giggle.

  I hear movement all around me. Hayze sits me on the couch and I close my eyes, willing myself to fall asleep. When I wake up I’ll feel better. “Lea, what the fuck happened?”

  “I don’t know! She got a drink and came back and started acting weird!”

  “Can we stay here?” I ask him, reaching out for his hand.

  “Yeah, baby, we’re staying here.”

  “Who the hell got my drinks?” Joel asks. His voice is so muffled then everything goes quiet, I’m certain I’ve passed out.

  “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?” Hayze yells, I wince, knowing I’ve never heard him so angry. Why is he so angry with me?

  “I didn’t do shit!” Joel says.

  “Oh my god,” Lea shrieks. I sit up, trying to find out what’s going on. What happened that has everyone so upset?

  “What did you put in those drinks, Joel?” Shea asks, her voice has an edge to it I’ve never heard before.

  “Oh shit,” Joel says, amused as he laughs. “Did she drink both of those drinks?”

  “Yeah, she did asshole! So why don’t you tell us what was in the damn drink,” Lea yells. I feel weight shift from the couch.

  “Lea, I’ll handle this,” Hayze says, his voice is dangerously low. “Did you drug my girlfriend?”

  “No…I was drugging myself and your girlfriend interfered with that,” he says, still laughing. Everything starts to click in my foggy head. “Look, man, she’ll enjoy it, go out and have a good time. Calm the fuck down.”

  Hayze chuckles and honestly the sound scares the shit out of me. It’s not the laugh he makes with me, it’s twisted, dangerous, I want to yell at someone to get him away from Joel. It’s not worth it! “I’m far from calm. What was in the drinks?”

  “Whiskey…And a few Xanax. Four of ‘em”

  “What?” A girl shrieks, I’m assuming it’s the second girl of the night. I want to tell her to run and get out while she can. “You were planning on giving that to me?” He doesn’t respond. Minutes later I hear heels clicking and the door slam shut.

  “I had to do something. Lea was gonna tell her about Jenny,” he says, unfazed.

  “Lea, take Taylor in the bathroom. See what you can do,” Hayze says, his voice is cold. I can’t respond. I can’t move. I can barely focus my eye sight.

  “Maybe you should go with her, Hayze… She needs you right now,” She tells him.

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” he says, his voice is clipped.

  I feel two people help me up from the couch. I blink many times before I can see Shea and Lea helping me to the bathroom. “Please don’t do anything stupid,” Lea mutters and Hayze laughs, sending a shiver down my spine.

  I focus on moving one foot at a time. My friends are dragging me, but I’m trying to walk; when we get to the bathroom, they lay me on the cool tile.

  “I find it absolutely hilarious the guy that use to snort coke and eat pills like fuckin’ candy, is mad because his girlfriend drank a spiked drink. Grow a pair of balls dude, I had to listen to you cry all last week when she dumped your ass, you’re just pissed she’ll breakup with you again when she wakes up.”

  If Hayze responds, I don’t hear him. There’s an eerie calm throughout the apartment. Lea and Shea fuss quietly over me, deciding what to do, but I ignore them.

  “It was just a few pills, she’ll be fine. You’re seriously worried? You did coke for three days straight last week, I thought you were gonna die, but…” A loud crash makes me wince. I hear something slam into a cabinet and I try to get up.

  “Get him,” I manage to say.

  “Chandler’s in there…He’s handling it,” Lea coos, attempting to soothe me, but I know she’s worried.

  “HAYZE!” I hear Chandler yell; he says something else but I can’t make it out. Someone slams the bathroom door.

  “Turn the water on to drown out the sound,” Lea whispers. The water twists on and I grow frustrated. “Taylor? Sit up. Look, this won’t be fun but you’ve gotta throw up. This has to come out, you’ll feel better.”

  I try to protest but her fingers jab down my throat before I can say anything. They’re leaning me over the toilet. Shea twists my hair back and Lea moves her fingers before I throw up.

  Then everything goes black.

  nineteen

  Someone near me groans, I cover my ears, hoping to block it out. It happens again, and this time, I feel it. It’s me…Why am I groaning? Why do I feel like someone shot me with a tranquilizer? It takes all the energy I can muster to move my hands to my stomach. I weave my fingers around the strong hand gripping my waist. I try, unsuccessfully, to turn into him, my body feels like Jell-O. Sensing my dilemma, he gently pulls me to him and turns me on my side. I smile against his neck, and place a soft, weak kiss on his damp skin. I peel my eyes open, immediately regretting it. With every blink I take, it feels like sandpaper is scratching my eyes. I close them for good, ignoring the way they burn, how dry my mouth is, and my general misery. I just enjoy the feeling of his arms draped around me.

  “You smell good,” I croak, my voice sounds worse than I feel.

  “I just took a shower,” he says, his voice is blank, lacking emotion. He could feel bad, like I do, but his voice isn’t rough or hoarse. It’s just off. “I made breakfast and there’s water beside the bed. Can you sit up? You should drink some.”

  I open one eye, squinting at him, I nod my head and he helps me sit up. The pain that was spread out over my body, rushes to my head as I sit up. I lean against the headboard, taking my head in my hands, I want to scream, but I know that would only make it worse. He hands me the glass of cool water and I take a sip, testing my stomach. I don’t wait for it to respond, I turn it up, sucking down the contents.

  Hayze grabs the cup from me and sits it on the table. He pushes my hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear. He places a soft kiss on my forehead and looks me in the eye. His soft amber irises are full of sorrow. “Better?”

  “Much better,” I say, nodding. I glance around the room for the first time. It takes me a moment to figure out we’re at his cabin. I don’t hear anyone moving around, so I assume we’re alone. I laugh, softly. “What happened last night?”

  “You feel like eating breakfast?” He asks, hesitantly. I let him help me from the bed. I cringe, noticing what I’m wearing for the first time. His sweatpants are rolled down multiple times and engulf my legs. I walk in the bathroom; my jaw drops at my reflection. I look like death. No, worse, I look like I died last month and have been lying in his bed since. Despite Hayze’s best effort, my hair sticks out behind my ears. I grab the ponytail holder on my wrist and pull my hair back. My mascara is streaked down my face and my powder is blotchy. I turn on hot water and grab a washcloth, I don’t stop scrubbing until I’m positive I’ve scrubbed away two layers of skin. I meet Hayze in the kitc
hen, he’s standing beside a barstool with a plate of food in front of it.

  “Bacon and eggs,” I say before I see it. The smell greets me as soon as I walk in. “My favorite, how did you know?”

  “It was just a hunch.”

  I hop on the stool, not wasting anytime, I pop a piece of bacon in my mouth. I laugh at his seriousness. “Do you feel as bad as I do?”

  “Worse.” With his hands on the counter, he drops his head.

  “I wish I looked like you when I was hungover,” I laugh.

  “I’m not hungover, Taylor.”

  I toss my bacon down with a sudden loss of appetite. I rack my brain, trying to remember the night. What happened to make him so indifferent toward me? I can’t remember a thing past the apartment. Everyone was there drinking, having a good time. But Joel and Hayze got into an argument.

  “Okay, what the hell happened last night?”

  His head snaps up. He takes his time, sighing, he rubs the back of his head. My eyes narrow, I’ve seen him do this before, many times, he better not lie or play it off as nothing.

  “You were drugged…It was an accident, but it happened.”

  “What? How?”

  “Joel made some drinks and you didn’t know what was in them…I wasn’t paying attention,” he says, his voice cracked at the end. My plate soars across the room, the food splatters to the wall, mixing in with shards of glass as it hits the floor. I look at him with wide eyes, he leans against the wall, panting with anger. “Chandler pulled me off of him and he left. When I see that fucker again…”

  I hold my hand up. “He didn’t do it on purpose…Just let it go. What was in the drinks?”

  “Xanax. A lot of them, you threw up a lot, that helped. I was freaking out, I wanted to take you to the hospital, but Lea said you were okay. Your brother is pissed, he showed up after Joel left.”

  I rest my forehead in my hand, staring at the counter. My mind is racing as I try to make sense of everything. “Why did he even have that in your apartment? Are they his prescription?”