by Ashley Pullo
Adding fabric softener to the washer and then fastening her hair in a ponytail, Julia jumps when the basement door slams shut, announcing the arrival of another tenant, or the ghost of Gold Street.
“Jules!” Theo places a plastic basket next to the last available washer and tosses in his sweatshirts and jeans. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”
“I knocked on your door – I even brought you a bubble tea.”
“Just now?”
“Like twenty minutes ago,” she replies, eyeing a pair of floral boxers in his basket.
“Oh, Fletch and I went for a run.”
“Fletch doesn’t run.”
“Yeah, me neither.” Dumping the remaining clothes into the washer, Theo flicks a detergent pod into the barrel and slams the lid. “Oh, shit,” he mutters.
“What’s wrong?”
He glances back at the laundry room door and then opens the lid to the washer. “I want to wash what I’m wearing.” Arching his brow and smiling mischievously, he gathers the fabric of his T-shirt and pulls it over his head.
“Right na-ha?” Julia stutters, distracted by Theo’s broad chest and cut torso.
“Jules, you’re blushing.” Slipping his hands in the waistband of his sweats, Theo shimmies them off with a single thrust. He crumples his clothes in a ball and dunks it in the washer. “We should probably get out of here. One more nudity complaint and I’ll have to meet with the co-op board.” Standing in a pair of orange boxer briefs, Theo points to the security camera with his middle finger.
“Theo!”
They race toward the elevator and frantically press the button.
“What if someone gets on the elevator?” Julia asks, sliding the cage door open.
“You’re right!” Theo leaps into the elevator and slaps the panel. “Hurry and hide me,” he shouts.
Julia stands next to Theo and crosses her arms. As the elevator ascends, she turns to him and smiles.
“Are you checking me out?” he asks, flexing his biceps and contracting his abdomen.
Her eyes trace the bulging outline of his briefs as she answers, “Absolutely.”
When they reach their floor, Julia slides open the cage door and says, “After you.”
Theo puffs his chest and struts downs the hall, aware that Julia is admiring his ass. As he opens his door, Fletch runs out to the hall and jumps on Julia’s legs.
“There’s my boy!” She opens her door to allow Fletch to run inside, and as usual, he goes straight for the sofa and curls into his favorite spot. “Do you want your bubble tea?”
“Can I get dressed first?”
No. “Yes, Theo.”
“Better idea,” he says, taking a step toward Julia, “screw the date. Let’s get undressed and have a bubble tea party in our undies.”
Applying lipstick and spritzing on perfume, Julia glances at the clock on her bedside table. She checks her phone for text messages, but other than a new one from Meredith, there’s nothing new from Theo.
They didn’t really discuss a time, and living across the hall has its advantages, but still . . .
Julia allows the shoulder of her navy sweater dress to drop, exposing the lace strap of her most expensive bra. She sits on the bed to zip her ankle boots, fighting off a playful Fletch nipping at her legs. “We’re not going for a walk,” she says, standing from the bed and grabbing her purse.
Fletch follows her to the hall closet as she removes a floral wrap. “Wish me luck, Fletch!”
Locking the door behind her, Julia stands in front of Theo’s door and listens. Taking a deep breath, she quietly knocks on his door.
“Go away! Batin’!” he grunts.
Constantly amused by his wacky personality, Julia smiles when he opens the door. “Hey. Idiocracy again?”
“No, I really was.” Theo totters backwards and grabs his chest. “Damn, Jules. You fine.”
“Not so bad yourself,” she replies, entering his apartment. “I like your shirt.” Julia glides her hand over the soft broadcloth that’s tight in all the right places.
“I have something for you – be right back.”
Julia lays her wrap and purse on Theo’s desk, and starts snooping through his Post-It notes.
Firewall .doc Yoshi 4
Yoshi 7 memory fail
Fletch 1c twice
CC unicorny
Pornware nopping
10/10 Refuctoring
Pay Verizon
“Have you figured out my system?” he asks, sneaking behind her and placing his hand on her bare shoulder.
“Not at all,” she replies.
“Me either.” Theo hands Julia a brown paper gift bag he’s been hiding behind his back. “So, I saw this in a store window on Greenwich.”
Removing a small ring box from the bag, Julia says, “You didn’t have to get me anything.” She opens the velvet box and smiles.
Theo pinches the enamel black and white dog head, carefully lifting it from the cushion. Sliding it on her index finger, he asks, “Do you like it?”
“It’s the strangest yet cutest piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen.” Julia holds her hand out in front of them as they both laugh. “I have my very own Boston terrier ring.”
“Are you ready to have some fun?”
After strolling hand-in-hand through the narrow streets of their neighborhood, Theo and Julia arrive at the famed Bavarian Bierhaus – known for its impressive offering of beer, schnitzel, and buxom waitresses.
“Have you been here before?” asks Julia.
“I came with some buddies a few months ago. It’s pretty good. You?”
“No, but I pass it all the time when I walk to the subway.”
Seated in a corner booth, Julia folds her wrap and places it next to her purse. Catching Theo staring, she asks, “What’s wrong?”
“That dress,” he groans, biting his knuckles.
With a coy smile, Julia leans forward to give him a little peek. “It’s just a dress.”
“It’s an invitation.”
A small band and a trio of Bavarian dancers take the stage as a gorgeous waitress saunters toward their table. She’s wearing lederhosen, she’s blond and curvy, but her accent is straight out of Staten Island.
“Hi guys, I’m Heidi! Can I start you with a flight of Oktoberfest beer?”
Speaking directly to Heidi’s ample bosom, Theo deadpans, “Yes, hello. We’ll take two flights and one of those big-ass pretzels.”
Resting her arm on the ledge of the booth behind Julia, Heidi flutters her eyes and tilts her head. “Oh, my, gosh, you’re so pretty. Has anyone ever told you, you look just like Natalie Portman?”
Shaking her head, Julia replies, “No, but thank you. That’s really sweet.”
“You two make a very attractive couple,” she purrs, glancing from Theo to Julia. “We’re going to have fun tonight!” Heidi turns on her heels, with just enough bounce in her step to send her short skirt floating in the air.
“Wow.” Theo’s jaw drops.
“What?”
“That was . . . incredibly hot.”
“Are you fifteen? She just wants a big tip.”
“Na huh – she was flirting with you. Right in front of me, too!” Theo tugs on his bottom lip, staring incisively at Julia’s chest.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“I can’t help it. I’m so turned on right now.”
“Don’t you dare embarrass me,” Julia begs, as Heidi returns with their Oktoberfest flights.
Sloshing some of the beer on the table, Heidi reaches across the booth with her breasts jiggling as she dabs it dry with her tiny little apron. “I’m so sorry!” she apologizes.
Eyes as big as saucers, Theo looks across at Julia and mouths, holy shit. “So, Heidi, my date doesn’t really like sausage. Any suggestions?”
Placing her hand on her hip, Heidi cocks her head and laughs. “Honestly, I rarely eat the sausage. Maybe if I’m really drunk, ya know? Do you like fish?
” she asks, moving her hand to Julia’s arm.
Biting his lip and fighting laughter, Theo nudges Julia’s knee under the table.
“Sure, I love to eat fish,” replies Julia, pandering to his wiles.
“Well, then you must taste the German fish pie! It’s my favorite – super creamy sauce with a delicate whitefish.”
“Yum,” Julia says, locking eyes with Theo.
Falling hard for the sarcastic beauty sitting across from him, Theo leans back and sighs. “What do think, Jules? Eat a little of my sausage . . . taste Heidi’s delicate fish . . .”
“Yeah, totally. It’s fun to try new things.” She winks.
“Do you still want to see a menu?” asks Heidi.
“No, I think we know exactly what we want.” With a puckish grin, Theo returns her wink.
“Great!” Heidi yells over the loud music before bouncing toward a table of burly men.
“You’re naughty, Theo Barnes.”
“And you love it.”
“I do.”
“So how do we do this?” Theo silently reads a laminated card attached to the flight of six mini beer steins and nods his head.
“By region, I guess.”
“Bottoms up, Jules.” He sips the palest ale on the left, shrugs his shoulders, and then throws it back like a shot. Licking his lips and staring off into space, he says, “I taste sauerkraut and barley – what do you think?”
“I think you’re cute enough to get away with being a dork.” Julia drinks the identical beer and grimaces.
“Thank you, Fraulein. So how was your visit with your mom and sister?”
“It was nice and short just like I like it.”
Theo and Julia move to the next beer in the row and clank their steins.
“Did you tell them about me?”
“No.” Smiling, Julia places the beer back on the tray. “That one is really good.”
“Why not?”
“Because I never talk to them about my personal life.” Catching a glimpse of Heidi approaching their booth, Julia makes herself busy with the third sample of beer.
“Famous Bavarian Bierhaus pretzel.” Heidi sets a wooden plank with a soft pretzel on the table. “Any questions about the beers?”
Theo lifts the empty stein of his favorite and orders a larger glass. “Jules, you want one?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Love that one. I’ll check on your dinner as well,” Heidi offers with a flirtatious smile.
Ripping off a section of the pretzel, Theo asks, “And how was the wedding?”
“What? I can’t hear you.”
“I asked you about the Shelter Island wedding,” Theo yells over the intense zither solo.
Suddenly feeling guilty about her brief encounter with Lucas, Julia steers away from the question. “Oh, you know. Bride, groom, inedible cake. Which reminds me, who sells the best cheesecake?”
“Junior’s had rats a few years ago – don’t go there. There’s a bakery on Broadway that’s decent.”
“Oh, my God, this is so good!” Julia peels away another section of the pretzel and stuffs her face.
“Who wants cheesecake?”
“Sorry?”
“The cheesecake!” Theo shouts, cupping his hands.
“Here we go, guys! Oberfranken blonde, German fish pie, sauerbraten, weisswurst, and Bavarian bratwurst.” With the help of an equally sexy waitress, Heidi sets two mugs of beer and the platters of food on the table. “Enjoy!”
Pushing a plate of engorged, gray wieners floating on a pile of sauerkraut away from her, Julia scowls. “Well, I hope you’re happy. Because this is nasty.”
“Yeah, no wonder Germans consume so much beer.” Theo scoops a pile of the fish pie on his plate and laughs. “We can grab some slices after bingo.”
“Bingo?”
Leaving the beer garden, Theo helps Julia with her wrap as they make their way toward John Street. Taking her hand, he steers her away from an open cellar door in front of a bodega. “Have you ever been in one those?” he asks.
“A storage basement? No.”
“When I was seventeen, I was the delivery guy for a produce company in the Bronx. Carrying boxes down those wet stairs for six hours, every day, was like some form of medieval slave labor. I still have nightmares about the rats.”
“I was a cashier at Waldbaum’s when I was in high school. And in college, I was a dog walker. Not exactly glamorous.”
Still holding hands, Theo pulls her aside and stops under an awning of a closed jewelry store. Moving his hands to her shoulders, he gazes into her deep-brown eyes with a look of starvation – desperately seeking gratification. With parted lips and jagged breaths, he pins her against the window.
Kiss me, Theo.
“Julia.”
“Yes?” she pants.
“I don’t want to mess this up.”
“You won’t.”
Theo slides his hand around her neck, his thumb stroking her flushed cheek as he utters, “You’re so beautiful.”
Julia parts her mouth and closes her eyes, inhaling their last shared breath of platonic friendship.
Tilting his head, Theo’s lips graze her mouth as his other hand falls behind her back. Arching Julia into his grasp while delicately kissing her cheek, he says, “Here we go, Jules.”
And then their lips meet . . . fusing what was once the abstract consciousness to the physical existence.
The passionate force of their first kiss triggers the alarm installed on the jewelry store window. As the high-pitched beeping increases in volume, a car slows to a stop, and the shop owner next door shakes his fist, but Theo and Julia simply hold onto each other and smile.
“Wow,” he finally says, peeling her from the window.
“Wow,” she agrees.
Holding hands, they hurry south on John Street for another block, occasionally looking back at the scene of the crime. “Maybe we should’ve stayed and talked to the cops,” Julia says.
“We didn’t do anything wrong, Jules. Besides, we’re here.” Theo tugs on her hand and leads her to the entrance of a Methodist church.
“Please tell me this isn’t an AA meeting,” she kids.
“Nah,” he replies, opening a door at the base of the church steps. Theo leads her down a flight of stairs and into a basement that resembles a seventies rec room.
“Theodore!” exclaim two women sitting at a folding table by the door.
“Hello, ladies. Are we late?” he asks.
“No, sweetie. Reverend Douglas is calling game three in five minutes. How many cards do you want?”
“Um, we’ll take two cards each,” he replies, offering Julia a red bingo dauber.
She takes the marker and smiles politely at the two older women ogling her date.
“That’ll be twenty dollars. Oh, and Theodore, thank you so much for your generous donation last week!”
Dodging an awkward conversation, he lays a twenty on the table and motions for Julia to follow him. “Glad to help.”
“The orphanage will be so surprised,” the lady with the short bob loudly proclaims.
“That’s great,” Theo replies over his shoulder.
Finding two seats at the only available table among the decent-sized crowd, Theo pulls out a chair for Julia and then rolls up his sleeves.
“So, Theodore, you’re a computer geek and a philanthropist,” she teases, placing the four cards in front of them.
“Jules! I take offense to that – you didn’t even mention my charming ability to land the prettiest girl in New York.”
“Ah ha, we’ll see.”
“Here comes Reverend Douglas,” says Theo, like a timid schoolboy.
A graying middle-aged man with a kind face steps behind a podium and taps on the microphone. “All right, friends. Game three prizes include a fifty-dollar gift card to Whole Foods, a dozen bagels from J&S Bagels, and a free dental cleaning from Dr. Mendelson on Fourth.”
“Bagels!” Theo s
queezes Julia’s leg under the table. “We have to win.”
“Before we start, I just want to say how humbled I am to lead such a charitable congregation. Since we began our bingo nights this past July, we’ve managed to raise close to three-thousand dollars.”
The room erupts in applause, but Theo lowers his head and mumbles, “Oh, shit.”
“But it was the sizable contribution from Mr. Theodore Barnes that put us way over our initial goal!” Reverend Douglas exclaims, extending his hand to point in Theo’s direction.
The bingo players seated in front of Julia and Theo look back and stare, so she nudges his leg with her knee. Looking up, Theo politely smiles, his cheeks rosy with embarrassment.
“It’s nice to see a thoughtful young person these days,” an older gentleman with a bushy mustache compliments.
“Glad to help,” Theo replies.
Reverend Douglas clears his throat and beams proudly. “And I’m happy to announce that the children of the Poughkeepsie Boys Home will receive a whopping ten-thousand dollars to build their state-of-the-art computer lab.”
“Um, Theo?” mutters Julia.
“Focus, Jules – bagels are on the line.” Theo straightens his bingo cards and hunkers down.
“Are we ready to play? Listen up, because I won’t repeat the letters and numbers this time, Mrs. Porter.” Everyone chuckles as Reverend Douglas spins the wire bingo cage. Removing a wooden ball, he calls, “N, thirty-nine.”
“That’s a lot of money,” whispers Julia.
“G, fifty-one.”
“Tax write-off.” He shrugs.
“Sure,” she replies with a smile.
“B, nine.”
“Nice, I got one!” Theo exclaims, stamping his card.
“N, forty-four.”
Her phone buzzing inside her purse, Julia quietly asks, “Can I use a cell phone in here?”
Theo nods.
“O, sixty-nine.” Reverend Douglas blushes as a few of the older ladies chuckle. “Well, that’s awkward.”
“Not if you do it right,” whispers Theo, bumping his leg against Julia’s knee.
Placing the cap back on her dauber, she nudges his arm and snorts. “Watch my cards.”