The Winter We Met

by Samantha Tonge

  Nik laughed and we both gazed out at the view that encompassed Amblemarsh. Our breath began to blow out white. Birdsong had practically disappeared apart from a blackbird’s alarm call. Foxes could be spotted here at night. I pointed out the area where Oliver and I lived and a church and mosque. You could just make out the local school and how the canal snaked through with grassy banks either side was the prettiest thing.

  ‘What a gorgeous sunset,’ Nik said, stretching out his legs.

  Marvelling at the strips of tangerine across the sky, I agreed. My heart skipped a beat as he slipped an arm around my shoulder.

  ‘Thanks for making me feel so welcome,’ he said. ‘You’ve given me a sense of… home, on my travels.’ A curl had popped out from my bobble hat and gently, he brushed it away, taking my breath as well. ‘You’re a one-in-a-million-woman, Jess. Alice bringing you up – I know there’s a story behind that. It must have been tough. But you’ve come through the other side a positive and generous person. I can’t tell you how much I admire that.’

  ‘It was difficult but living with Gran changed everything.’

  Nik simply pulled me closer. I liked that. He reined in his curiosity.

  ‘I’ve been meaning to say…’ My breathlessness continued, wondering if we might kiss. I couldn’t ever recall feeling this deliciously nervous with a man, apart from when Oliver and I had snogged, but there was no point thinking about that anymore. ‘I know you’re only here for a short time but—’

  ‘Jeeeess! Nik!’

  He pulled a puzzled face and stood up. Buddy started yapping. Was that Lynn, interrupting us? I gazed up into the heavens. Was the universe determined I should remain single forever? But what if something was wrong with Gran? What if she’d fallen over again?

  ‘We’re coming,’ I called.

  Nik slipped the rucksack on and I picked up my plastic bag. Holding hands we helped each other down the slippery bank.

  ‘Everything okay?’ I asked as we reached Lynn, suddenly aware of the bitter cold. Frost had appeared and icy air pinched my nose. Tail wagging Buddy lunged to greet her.

  She stroked him and rolled her eyes. ‘Silly me, I left my keys in the rucksack. Another member of staff let us in but my shift’s ending now and my car keys are in there.’

  23

  Lynn’s timing couldn’t have been worse. I wouldn’t see Nik until Friday evening now. I was busy at work and he would be visiting a manufacturer of artificial intelligence toys in Liverpool tomorrow. Then during this afternoon’s forest walk I’d heard him arranging to go out with Glenda Friday afternoon. He insisted, as she was on her own, that he’d help her go through the directory to look for another home. She’d already rung a handful herself and found nothing suitable. As a thank you she was taking him to The Corner Dessert Shop, having been horrified that he hadn’t yet tried scones.

  The Gazette was out on Friday, hence the evening get-together of the residents in the lounge to celebrate. Then every Sunday afternoon and Wednesday evening from then until the party there would be a meeting during which we’d make the decorations and discuss any offers of help that came in after the publicity. This Sunday was the 22nd of November. Two weeks before the party. That meant four crafting and brainstorming sessions.

  And only three weeks until all the residents had to leave.

  My chest tightened.

  The smell of a scented candle hit me as I went walked into the flat. Oliver had set the breakfast bar for two people. He wore a smart shirt.

  ‘Have I forgotten a date you’ve arranged?’

  ‘No. It’s a spur of the moment meal thing,’ he said. ‘Hope that’s okay.’

  ‘Do you mind if I stay in my room? Or I can go out to the pub if you want more privacy. Been a bit of a day.’ I took a breath, hesitating over saying more and instead asked ‘Who’s the lucky lady?’

  ‘I don’t know if she’ll think it’s lucky, but…’ He put down the tea towel and came over. Oliver held out his hand. ‘The meal’s for you. Sorry for being an idiot, Jess. Your feelings about Nik are none of my business. As long as you’re happy that’s all that matters.’

  I hesitated again then slipped my hand into his. His fingers wrapped around mine and he pulled me close. My body relaxed and I leant on him for a second.

  ‘I’m sorry too. I’ve hated the last few days. I can tell you really are full of remorse because you detest that particular candle.’

  ‘Why anyone wants to pay good money for something that smells of… what does the sticker say… ? Fluffy towels.’

  ‘It’s clean and cuddly.’

  ‘It smells more like toilet freshener.’

  Five minutes later I came back in a fresh jumper and jeans instead of the pyjamas that were calling.

  ‘Just dishing up,’ he said. ‘You take a seat and pour the wine.’

  ‘Oooh, red. Fancy schmanzy,’ I said. Normally we got the cheapest white or cider.

  ‘Here we go,’ he said and came over carrying two plates of… pizza. ‘I added the veggie topping. I only finished work at six. It would have taken a miracle to shop, get back and cook from scratch. Anyway, this means you can have you favourite accompaniment.’ He fetched a saucepan and poured hot baked beans over the top. Oliver knew me so well. ‘Cheers,’ he said. His glass touched mine. ‘How did the walk go?’

  ‘We collected twigs and some lovely pine cones. It was a shame Gran couldn’t come but I think it did the others good. Alf picked up a feather and gave it to Glenda, harking back to their discussion after It’s a Wonderful Life and whether angels exist.’ I sipped my wine. ‘Contradictory, isn’t it, how conspiracy theorists often don’t believe in things that have evidence behind them, but do believe in things that are simply based on myths?’

  Oliver shrugged. ‘Sometimes it’s just a feeling you get, I suppose, that you have to follow – an instinct that Mother Nature gave us.’

  I didn’t react, giving him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn’t talking about Nik.

  ‘I mean, I only have to look at baked beans to know they’re barely one step up from baby food.’

  ‘Ha!’ My shoulders relaxed. ‘Remember that time I’d come into Misty’s for a drink after work and stayed for dinner? We’d had that random snowstorm during the day. It had melted by teatime. Those Snowflake Martinis you made were so popular…’

  I flushed at the memory, having forgotten a detail of that night. I’d knocked my drink onto on the floor. Oliver had dashed over to mop it up. We’d both tried to pick up glass at the same time and as we straightened up our faces were really close. A ballad was playing in the background and I’d sensed us both hesitate for a second before pulling away and me being filled with… with a feeling of regret. Then he’d gently taken my hand as he’d spotted a splash of blood. I hadn’t wanted him to let go which was ridiculous.

  ‘Perhaps I should make some of those as well, on Friday night, along with the eggnog,’ he said brightly. ‘I’ve been thinking about snacks to put out, as well, and I might put together a drinks menu.’

  ‘Great idea. Anyway, back to that night, I left before you because I was worried about Buddy being on his own as it was October and people had started letting off fireworks. I had a horrible feeling on the way home that I was being followed and ran the last hundred metres. I heard on the radio the next day that a man had attempted to mug a woman.’ I shrugged. ‘So sometimes, I guess, a gut feeling is a good thing.’

  Neither of us spoke for a moment.

  ‘How was Alice today?’

  ‘We discussed a potential residential home I’ve found, in Upperhyde – Darkthorn House. Gran’s agreed to visit but I’m worried about her, to be honest. This fall, it’s really knocked her back.’

  ‘If I’m not working I’ll go as well… if you want.’

  ‘That would be great.’

  ‘So, if you enjoyed today’s walk what’s this about it being a bit of a day?’

  I put down my knife and fork. ‘This is great. What’s
for pudding?’

  ‘Is it to do with Nik? What’s he done?’

  ‘Nothing,’ I said, trying not to feel irritated. ‘If you must know it was Lynn. She interrupted us when…’ I wiped my mouth. He’d actually put out napkins. ‘Look, Oliver. I like Nik and I won’t apologise for that. I don’t want to have to tiptoe around you over this.’

  ‘I… I don’t want that either,’ he said and pushed away his plate. ‘I’m here to talk if you want. Honest, Jess. I’ll try to put my own feelings aside. I don’t want there to be a taboo subject between us. So…?’

  ‘Okay, it’s just…I’m just very aware he’ll be leaving in a matter of weeks and I can’t find the opportunity to tell him… you know…’

  ‘How you feel?’

  ‘Yes. I took him up to Pebble Rock tonight, and it was lovely, but then Lynn came looking for us because we had the rucksack with her keys in.’ I sighed. ‘He spends more time with Glenda than me.’

  Oliver sat a little straighter. ‘Really?’

  ‘He’s ever so good with her. She’s showing a side I’ve never seen. He’s been messaging her privately about the photo collection she’s co-ordinating.’

  Oliver sat in silence.

  ‘You still think he’s some sort of conman, don’t you?’

  ‘I don’t know, Jess. Conman? His profile doesn’t precisely fit that. Most of the ones you read about create a whole new persona to attract women – a glamorous one indicating they’ve got money, a high-flying life, or they make themselves out to be some sort of hero like… like being ex-army or having saved someone’s life.’

  I broke eye contact.

  ‘Nik hasn’t mentioned anything like that, has he?’

  ‘And what of it? Are you telling me that every hero in the world has made their story up?’

  ‘Of course not. I… I’m just interested.’

  ‘A couple of years ago he chased and managed to catch a kid who’d robbed a shop. He was the son of an Olympian, it turned out.’ I shook my head. ‘Nik didn’t even worry about the possibility of him carrying a knife.’

  Oliver got up to clear the dishes and busied himself at the worktop, serving up one of my favourites – black cherry cheesecake. In an animated fashion, he talked about the mini bar he was going to set up at Willow Court’s party, and how he was considering offering a clementine mocktail as well. He didn’t mention Nik again but his unspoken accusations hung in the air, his lack of faith in my judgement reminding me of Mum’s boyfriends making her feel inferior.

  He’d never made me feel like that before. We had always been each other’s cheerleaders – or so I thought.

  Well, I wasn’t my mum. I didn’t put up with that kind of behaviour. After eating I insisted on doing the washing up and went straight to bed.

  24

  I stood in the middle of Under the Tree and yawned. Last night Seb and I had stayed late to do the new window display. I’d told him I could manage alone but Seb insisted, so I took him for a curry afterwards as a thank you – and let him play his Motown CD full blast while we worked. How he managed to swivel his hips and gingerly stack books like in a game of Jenga, to create the book Christmas tree, I’ll never know. We’d sprayed the twigs I’d collected from Springhaye Forest with fake snow and scattered pine cones. On a second attempt we’d finally managed to construct the book tree without it falling down. Schoolchildren pestered their parents to stop, on the way to school this morning, so that they could peer in. It made all the extra hours worthwhile. And Nik and Glenda had stopped to admire it, this afternoon, before heading off for their visit to The Corner Dessert Shop.

  I’d spent the best part of today replenishing stock, ready for the weekend rush. I rubbed my back as a woman came up to me. Seb was tidying the reading area, in anticipation of the after-school customers who’d bundle in after going on their Friday treat trip to the sweet shop three doors down. I’d try not to stress about sticky fingers flicking through picture books and always had a packet of wipes handy.

  ‘Have you got any electronic dancing llamas?’ she asked.

  ‘Like the one wearing a straw hat, featured on the consumer show last night?’

  She nodded eagerly.

  I braced myself. There was nothing like being on the end of a parent’s disappointment. It happened every time a media outlet did a top ten of the must-have toys for Christmas. Some we’d predicted correctly and bought in a-plenty. Other times we hadn’t.

  ‘I’m so sorry, we sold the last one an hour ago.’

  Her face fell. ‘When are you getting more in? I don’t want my daughter being the only one out of her friends who doesn’t get one.’

  ‘I rang up our stockist first thing this morning, when I realised there’d been a run on this product. They’ve been overwhelmed with demand and won’t be able to tell me until the end of next week if they can fulfil our order.’

  She tutted. ‘I can’t find it online, either. Have you got a waiting list, in case it comes in? Can I put my name down?’

  ‘No. We don’t do that, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Why not?’ She put her hands on her hips. ‘I’ve rushed here before picking my two up from school. It’s not easy for me to just drop in on the off-chance. I work mornings and the traffic is always late at this time.’

  ‘You could ring in,’ I said calmly, despite knots forming in my shoulders.

  ‘But that’s still no guarantee it will be here when I arrive…’ She delved into her handbag and waved a business card in the air. ‘You don’t even have to write my details down.’

  I wiped my sweaty palms down my jeans. ‘I’m sorry. In the past we’ve been caught out by the practice of holding stock back.’

  Her cheeks flushed. ‘You’re saying you don’t believe I’d turn up to buy it?’

  ‘I’m saying it’s not our policy but please feel free to ring into the store next week and we’ll let you know if we’ve heard anything.’ I forced a wide smile.

  ‘Forget it! I’ll go to one of those big superstores that you local businesses are always complaining about. Is it any wonder shops like you go under?’ She shook her head and flounced outside.

  Another customer shot me a sympathetic look. I headed out to the staff room and ran my hands under the cold tap. In some ways, the ruder a customer was the easier complaints were to deal with, as I found it especially difficult when a lovely parent tried to hide their disappointment.

  ‘What a day,’ I said to Seb a couple of hours later as I turned the door sign to closed. ‘Those little ones loved you reading Beatrix Potter. Who knew you could twitch your nose like a bunny and talk at the same time.’

  ‘Tim does. It’s what I do when he wears a new aftershave. He has totally different taste to mine and prefers ones that smell woody like decomposting leaves. So, Willow Court tonight? Will he be there?’

  ‘Yes. Oliver still has his suspicions.’

  ‘He’s normally so fair and sensible. Remember that university student Misty took on during the summer? You and I went there for a drink after work, for my birthday. That student turned up late for their shift for the fourth time in a row. That aside, she seemed so polite and hardworking. Oliver was in charge that day and didn’t blow.’

  ‘No. He got another member of staff to cover the bar whilst he sat her down with a coffee. Turned out she was working two jobs to help look with the bills since her mum had been made redundant. He had a word with Misty to arrange a little flexibility with her hours.’

  ‘Then there was the time he rang the shop to let you know the emergency electrician hadn’t turned up when your freezer broke down. He wanted to check if you’d heard from him. You were, er….’

  ‘A teeny bit annoyed.’

  ‘That’s one way of phrasing it.’ His eyes twinkled. ‘But Oliver said there was probably a good reason and he’d try to find out what was going on. Turned out the electrician’s wife had gone into labour and with all the excitement he hadn’t thought to ring his customers.’

 
; I frowned. ‘I know and yet for some reason he’s disliked Nik right from the start.’

  ‘So if you’re so sure that he’s wrong about Nik, and he’s never been like this with any of your friends then this can only point to one thing – the issue is with Oliver and not Nik.’

  25

  Stepping from foot to foot, to keep myself warm, I waited outside Willow Court. Seb was right, but what could be up? I doubted Oliver’s job was under threat. He never heard from his parents so it couldn’t be family stuff. He wasn’t in a relationship, nor had any money worries.

  Unless he did. Anyone could be hiding a gambling problem, or debt. Perhaps jet-setting, successful Nik pressed all the wrong buttons.

  I relaxed my jaw suddenly aware I’d been clenching my teeth. Lynn waved through the glass door. I shook my mini umbrella and collapsed it before sticking it in my winter coat pocket. I stood by the radiator for a few moments, the warmth relaxing me.

  Betty grimaced. ‘I want to go outside. It’s not right that strangers are being let in.’

  ‘It’s raining and cold outside, Betty. A proper wintry evening. I’d stay in if I were you.’ I signed in and entered the lounge. The big terracotta curtains were drawn and Lynn had found time to put up fairy lights along the top rails reminding me of the shops in Springhaye and Amblemarsh that were already in full Christmas mode, with windows decorated and staff wearing festive shirts. Nik held court in the middle of the residents, an open newspaper in his hands – it had to be the Gazette that had come out today. He was reading out loud with Glenda by his side listening intently to every word. She must have been in seventh heaven, having spent the afternoon with him as well. Oliver had finished work at four and said he’d bring Buddy over. Sure enough Gran’s knees were home to the chin of her favourite dog. Oliver was behind the hatch, whistling as he set out plastic cups. He’d prepared eggnog in advance and refrigerated it. Alf stood on the other side of the hatch deep in conversation with him.