The Winter We Met

by Samantha Tonge

  I smiled. Roles were changing but, as ever, we were there for each other. That was one constant I was sure of. I kissed her and hurried along the corridor. She said she’d join me in a few moments. The caterers were just walking through the doors, laden with bags. The canteen was empty now and staff were cleaning tables and setting out the bright foil crackers. I headed into the lounge. Fairy lights twinkled on the tree, and across the curtain tops, even though it wasn’t dark outside.

  I couldn’t see Nik, perhaps he’d gone up to see Glenda, but Oliver was behind the hatch and I heard a woman’s laugh. Hopefully that was Lynn. I didn’t know how she’d coped with her workload these last weeks, continuing to supervise the care of thirty residents whilst fighting to keep the owners of Willow Court from starting to dismantle what they could, and also helping to organise this party. I stood for a moment, near to the entrance to the room. Glenda’s twig photo frame had been balanced on top of table and leant against the wall.

  ‘Moonlight Serenade’ came on at that moment. It reminded me of Jimmy Stewart starring in the film of Glenn Miller.

  James Stewart. Nik was like him. Tall. A perfect gentleman. Much loved. That would be just as likely a theory – that he was the reincarnation of that Hollywood actor and not Father Christmas.

  I went over to the hatch, looking for Oliver there. It had a banner across the top saying Misty’s Minibar in dusky pink, like the neon sign outside the bar. He’d set up drinks and a few of Misty’s exclusive crisps and popcorn, and had made a professional looking menu describing the drinks available, all written in matching pink too. I was just about to go behind to the sink area when an unfamiliar woman’s voice cut through the air.

  ‘Oh Oliver, it’s going to be so exciting. The date of the move is the 28th of December – you’re sure that suits you?’

  The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. That must have been Krish.

  ‘That’s fine. I can’t wait,’ he said in a happy voice.

  My throat ached.

  She laughed. ‘Then don’t look so nervous. You’re going to love my brother, his friends are fun and the flat’s got lots of room for all your stuff.’

  I backed away and stood staring at the drinks and snacks. So it was really happening. Oliver was leaving our home and, by the sounds of it, as speedily as he could.

  His face loomed into view as he came out from behind the hatch accompanied by a tall woman with lush dark hair and wearing jeans. She held Buddy’s lead. He was making puppy dog eyes at her, clearly as smitten as my flatmate. He barked when he saw me and wagged his tail. A big cartoonish reindeer covered the front of her jumper with a silly red bobble nose, right in the middle. Suddenly I felt stupid trying to look sophisticated.

  ‘You must be Jess,’ she said and strode over. She held out her hand and on automatic I slipped mine into hers. What a firm shake. White teeth gleamed as she gave me a broad smile. ‘Oliver has told me so much about you.’ Posh London tones. ‘It’s great to finally meet.’

  ‘Krish, I presume?’ I said, sounding a bit too Sherlock Holmes.

  ‘I’m so grateful to have been invited. My family and I couldn’t be more worried about Gramps. From what Oliver says you’re really close to your gran too. It must be such a weight off your mind to have found her a new home she is happy with.’

  We chatted and I listened to her concerns about her grandad. She asked about Gran. Krish seemed nice. Oliver deserved that. I hoped the move would work out well for him.

  I just had to get on with it now.

  Lynn’s brother, Geoff, arrived and set up in the far corner, before any of the guests arrived. Pro Snow did too and a member of staff showed them around outside. The party organisers turned up and began to transform the room with their snowflakes and icicle shapes. Gran appeared with her clipboard. Krish went over to her immediately, introduced herself and asked if she could help in any way. She offered to make the coffees later, seeing as she worked in the business. Gran patted her arm and said what a kind person she was. Slowly the lounge started to fill up as residents waited for their guests. Alf and Fred looked very dapper in jackets and ties and I’d never seen Nancy in a skirt before. Pan floated into the room, a suitable vision of green and red, in a kimono and scarf.

  Oliver started handing out cocktails as two o’clock approached. Nancy put on one of her records. Duke Ellington crooned about jingle bells. I stole into the canteen just before the first guests arrived. Wow. What a buffet, colourful and bright with dishes of cherry tomatoes and clementine tarts. There were bowls of easy-to-manage finger foods made from light flaky pastry, the contents filling the room with smells of turkey, sage and onion and chestnut. The residents’ vol-au-vents looked as professional as anything else on offer, next to pigs in blankets and mini slices of nut roast. As my stomach rumbled, I recalled the menu I’d been sent and looked for the mushroom and cranberry quiches and stuffed Brussel sprouts. Fresh batches of the cookies Nancy and the others baked had been set on plates, and I took them through to the lounge, putting them on the hatch. Nik appeared with Glenda. He’d taken off his coat and waved before disappearing into the throng. I caught Oliver’s eye as he came over to me, wiping his hands on a tea towel. I tried not to look at Alf because Nik was wearing a jumper with a big Father Christmas on the front.

  ‘I see you two,’ said a gruff voice. Alf had appeared at our side, clutching his notebook. ‘My suspicions may not ring true with you youngsters, but that jumper is more proof, like it or not.’

  ‘Alf. Sorry, it just tickled me, given all the other bits of evidence you’ve listed. But this… it’s just a coincidence, surely?’

  ‘Like you saying how much your life improved once you started meditating? Who’s to say listening to yourself breathe has any effect on mental health? You haven’t got indisputable evidence.’

  I sighed as the first relatives started to arrive. ‘Trust me, Alf, I’ve a whole list of things I’d ask Santa for if he was here, right this minute. I really wish your theory about Nik was true.’

  ‘What theory’s this?’ asked Nik from behind me and beaming, he came around and placed his hand on Alf’s shoulder.

  40

  ‘Oh look! How beautiful!’

  ‘Damn well gets me in the festive mood.’

  ‘Blimey O’Reilly, I wasn’t expecting it to fall that thickly.’

  ‘Bloody good show!’

  Nik’s question was thwarted by gasps of delight as everyone headed over to the window. Snowflakes tumbled down from the sky. I looked out, to the left, at the other side of the entrance way and watched a large cannon shooting the fake snow high into the air.

  ‘I feel as if I’m back in Finland,’ said Nik, holding back as he was heads and shoulders above everyone else. He stood, gazing over recently set perms and bald heads, mesmerised by the magical scene.

  ‘Mum took me sledging once,’ I said to Oliver. ‘On a tray. It split as I sped down the local park’s hill. I ended up in the river at the bottom. Luckily it was frozen.’

  ‘Mine never let me out. Said it was too dangerous and the last thing Nanny wanted was to look after a child with a broken leg. Do you think your mum will come today?’

  ‘No. Gran and I have discussed it and we’re okay with that.’

  ‘You sure, Jess?’ he said, in a gentle tone.

  ‘I’ve already got everything I need. Gran. Buddy.’ You.

  ‘Come on, Oliver – I’ll help you make cocktails,’ said Krish and she pushed him playfully. ‘There’s a queue forming.’ He hesitated before leaving.

  I went over to Nik and Glenda who were showing visitors the photo collection. The next couple of hours passed in a busy blur. The food was a big hit. I’d never tasted anything as delicious as the eggnog pie. People milled in and out of the dining room, listening to Geoff play in the lounge. I caught snippets of conversation. Pan sat with Adam and his wife, looking more relaxed than I’d seen her in weeks.

  ‘I’d love to choose the colours for my room,’ she sai
d. ‘I’m thinking bright purple.’ She laughed at her son’s horrified face. ‘Your old mum can still fool you.’

  Glenda chatted to Alf’s daughter, Polly, about her bookkeeping business and outfit.

  ‘I don’t feel ready for work unless I’m dressed, made up and hair sprayed, even though I work from home,’ said Polly.

  ‘An excellent attitude,’ said Glenda. ‘I don’t feel ready for anything unless I’ve got my lipstick on.’

  They both laughed.

  Nik sat with Phyllis who was stroking her electronic King Charles Spaniel. He stroked it too. Phyllis looked at him and her eyes filled for a moment. He nodded gently. No words were exchanged just some kind of intangible understanding like I thought I had with him.

  A lump rose in my throat. This was what it had all been about – the hard work. The stress. The crafting sessions. Everything on the clipboard list. It was about bringing people together for one last time to create memories that would stand the test of time. Even in Pan’s case because there would always be the stones up at Pebble Rock, the warmth in everyone’s hearts.

  The love.

  Studying the photos collected by Glenda had also underlined why this get-together was so important. There were pictures of the residents as who they still were inside, the people behind the grey hair and wrinkles. The dashing firefighter, the stylish international business woman, the busy efficient and capable parents… It was so easy, in a care home, to forget the achievements of the resident – to forget that they had desires and hobbies and a purpose just like anyone else. The photos, their history, it all compounded the importance of Lynn’s emphasis on treating them with dignity and respect. This party celebrated the lives they’d led in the past and, just as importantly, the lives they now had.

  I swallowed and turned my attention to Krish. She was speaking to Oliver and Gran. Perhaps I was looking at the future in the wrong way. Oliver and me meeting partners may not mean our family would break up. Instead it could get bigger. Perhaps Krish or whoever he went out with next would take us from a three to a four.

  I turned around. Lynn was tapping my shoulder.

  ‘Going great, isn’t it?’ I said. ‘Your brother’s playing is fantastic and I feel we’ve all really pulled off the whole wintry feel, with the decorations. I can just imagine James Stewart walking into the room at any moment, covered in snow, and bells jingling because Clarence finally got his wings.’

  ‘It’s perfect and it’s not James Stewart but there is a man at the door and he insists he won’t come in for something to eat. Seb – a friend of yours? He’s asking if he could have a quick chat.’

  Seb? Was everything okay at Under the Tree? What about Angela? I hurried out of the room and along the corridor where the choir were setting up.

  ‘Is everything okay?’ I asked.

  ‘No. Annoyingly Tim has come up trumps again. He’s always right and it drives me mad.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  Seb paced up and down. ‘I know why Oliver never liked Nik at the beginning.’

  My brow knotted. ‘I really appreciate the interest, but couldn’t this have waited?’ I grinned. ‘Or is this an excuse just to have some of the amazing food I told you about.’

  ‘The last conversation you had with Nik, the night he rejected you, you thought he had his own theory about why Oliver had been rude to him, but he didn’t say...’

  ‘And that turned out to be because Nik reminded him of someone underhand from his past – and because Oliver was worried of our family unit being broken up... you and I have worked this out already. Nik didn’t need to tell me.’

  ‘But you missed the obvious. I didn’t pick it up either. I think Nik’s theory was to do with jealousy.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘That charm bracelet – the heart charm represents someone, not something, important in your life. So not Gran or Buddy as they already had charms of their own… Heart, Jess.’

  ‘Home is where the heart is – we’ve already reached a conclusion about this.’

  ‘Think of the word heart, Jessie. Try taking away the e.’

  ‘Okay, okay…. H-A-R-T… Oliver’s surname?’

  ‘Exactly and it’s nothing to do with that home and heart thing, that was a red herring. It’s quite simple really – he was jealous of Nik, not because of his work or his jet-setting, or that infectious charm… but because this gorgeous Australian had your attention. Now can’t you see what’s been staring you in the face? You aren’t happy with him going out with Krish not because you might be left alone, nor because it will change the status quo – it’s because you’re jealous back. You and Oliver are in love with each other!’

  Silence for a moment. I burst out laughing. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ I said unevenly. ‘You… you said it yourself – we’re more like brother and sister.’

  ‘That’s only because you get on so well. You’re always there for each other. You’re so comfortable in each other’s company. All of those things could also apply to a very well-matched couple.’ He slapped his palm against his forehead. ‘I can’t believe I missed it, Jess. You’re meant for each other.’

  ‘You’re wrong,’ I said firmly, pulse racing. ‘He’s a down-to-earth, forthright person and would have acted upon his feelings before now. Like the time we had noisy neighbours, who played music into the early hours. Oliver gave them a few nights, to see if it changed, and then went around. It didn’t make a difference so he contacted our landlord. And when Gran mentioned in passing, last year, that she could do with more shelving for her books, the following weekend he turned up with several flat packs and he assembled them.’

  To an outsider he might have looked laidback, working in a bar, not worrying about mortgages and promotions, but day to day he was decisive… a bit of an action man. And his recently revealed past in Birmingham explained why he’d shied away from being career-driven.

  Nah. If he’d developed feelings for me, I’d have known.

  And the same for me. I mean, I did fancy him, when he first moved in but…

  I bit my lip.

  Seb looked at his watch. ‘I’ve got to go – it’s my turn to cook tonight.’ He held me by the shoulders and stared straight into my eyes. ‘Don’t mess this up. From what you say Nik is pretty special person and he worked this out first. In my humble opinion you’ve been feeling crap because Oliver’s the one you really want. The ball’s in your court now.’

  Then he was gone like a guardian angel of my very own. I couldn’t breathe properly for a moment, and almost tripped over a chair’s leg as I stumbled back into the lounge. Geoff was packing away his saxophone. I stood by the window and put my hand up to my chest. I’d compartmentalised my feelings for Oliver in a sensible box in my head and shut them away – but I’d still noticed things over the years. The curve of his mouth. The strength of his arms. The warmth of his hug. The hair that never lay down flat. The soft tone he used whenever Gran or I were upset.

  ‘You okay?’ asked a voice.

  I saw Nik’s reflection in the window. I didn’t turn around. Instead I lifted up my arm and the charm bracelet, pointing to the heart.

  ‘I’ve just worked it out… Oliver…’ My voice wavered.

  His brows knitted together. ‘I thought you already had.’

  ‘No… not until… you and I got our wires crossed…but now it’s too late,’ I said, still speaking to his face reflected in the glass.

  An arm draped around my shoulders. ‘Not going by the way he looks at you.’

  ‘But Krish—’

  ‘Have you actually asked him about her and where they are heading? Or has my very good English friend suddenly become telepathic?’

  I blushed and turned around to face him but Glenda was calling him and he’d gone. The choir started up and tuneful words like Bethlehem and manger mingled with the residents and their guests. Krish handed out coffees. Oliver stood near her with a plate of cookies.

  I went over, smiled and took a
cookie. He smiled back. Sometimes I’d thought about what it would be like to kiss a second time. Yes, I’d been tipsy during that snog, but the memory wasn’t blurred. Clearly, I remembered the softness, the warmth, the racing of my heart, a sense that I was truly home. I thought about the other men in my life. Seb was a great guy and good-looking and I hadn’t known he was gay for a while but still never imagined the two of us together. As for the guys I’d dated, slow-burn was the best adjective for those relationships. Whereas I’d been drawn to Oliver right from the off, on that pavement, outside my flat – I couldn’t peel my eyes away and that was the real reason I’d slipped in the snow.

  I bit into the cookie, not sure what to say. Crumbs tumbled down my chin and Oliver brushed them away. It was such an easy, familiar movement, yet his touch sent tingles down my neck. He pulled his hand back quickly as if he’d made a mistake.

  That sensible box in my head had well and truly flipped its lid open.

  ‘Speech!’ someone called. Gran, Lynn and I looked at each other. Somehow I made it to the front with the others. Gran beckoned Nik to join us. I cleared my voice and was about to try and assemble some words in an order that everyone would understand when a knocking came from outside. The entrance door creaked. Then footsteps. A tanned man with sunshine hair and open arms strode in.

  ‘Nik Talvi, mate! I’ve come to take you home!’

  41

  ‘Mate? Is that any way to speak to your boss?’ Nik grinned and hurried over. He and the man hugged and clapped each other on the back. ‘But how did you find me? I thought you’d already gone back home?’

  ‘Someone called Rob in the flat next to yours – he said you’d gone to a party, at a place called Willow Court.’

  Nik looked around. ‘Sorry everyone – let me introduce Lachlan. He’s a colleague of mine who’s also been travelling around Europe.’ He shook his head. ‘I had no idea you were coming to England.’

  ‘Your mum told me to,’ he said sheepishly. ‘She knows what you’re like.’