Meant to Be: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Andreea Catana

  ***

  Mr. Bingley did not call the following day but sent a note and some flowers to Jane, expressing his willingness to see them at dinner.

  However, another call upset the Bennets’ peace, and it was none other than Mr. Collins—again.

  “Mr. Bennet,” his wife said, “what could have happened to bring that man once again to our home?”

  “I know as much as you do, Mrs. Bennet. But let us pray that he came to make his farewell before travelling back to Kent. I admit my patience for him is gone.”

  When Mr. Collins expressed the reason for his visit, astonishment filled both the master of the house and his wife.

  “My dear Mr. Bennet, I am here to speak to Cousin Elizabeth on a matter of the greatest urgency.”

  “With Lizzy? May I ask the subject of this urgency? I believe I am entitled to know.”

  “I understand that, sir, but I was sworn to secrecy and demand to speak to her personally. As soon as I do that, I will gladly inform you.”

  “Well, at least you cannot propose to her again,” Mrs. Bennet intervened sharply. Mr. Collins turned pale, and Mr. Bennet kindly asked his wife to leave them alone, barely containing his laughter. She did so but hurried to fetch Elizabeth, asking her daughter for a clarification she could not offer. Suppositions were made, and Jane quickly became worried for her sister until Elizabeth calmed them both and went to meet the unwanted guest. She was equally annoyed and curious when she entered the drawing room.

  “Mr. Collins, I understand you wish to speak to me privately?” she asked with no restraint.

  “I do,” he said severely. “If only Mr. Bennet would be kind enough to leave us.”

  Elizabeth smiled to her father reassuringly. “Papa, please—I shall be fine as soon as my curiosity is satisfied.” Mr. Bennet reluctantly exited, and Mr. Collins turned to Elizabeth with the posture of a teacher scolding a disobedient pupil.

  At last, he spoke, “Dear cousin, I do not think my coming here is a surprise to you. You must know that your behaviour needs censure, and there is nobody more suited than me to do so.”

  “I apologize for claiming full surprise, sir. I can think of not a single reason to have this private encounter. As for my behaviour, I know it is not without reproach, but I trust the only ones entitled to censure it are my parents.”

  “And yet, I must do so without delay. Both my wife and I are deeply concerned for you. During the course of this morning, I received another letter from Rosings Park in which I am required to summon you for clarification.”

  “What sort of clarification, Mr. Collins?” Elizabeth replied, irritated by her cousin’s harsh tone.

  “Lady Catherine is very displeased with you, and I am here to tell you exactly this.”

  Elizabeth sat in silence, allowing him to continue.

  “Mr. Darcy has informed her Ladyship that he would not marry his cousin. He betrayed his Aunt’s trust in a most disturbing matter, which was very unlike him, Lady Catherine said. Her ladyship has no doubt that this betrayal is entirely your fault. She rightly accuses you of using your arts and allurements to charm Mr. Darcy and cause him to change his mind and forget his duty.”

  “Mr. Collins, can you not see how ridiculous this conversation is? Mr. Darcy is a responsible gentleman, old enough to know his mind and his heart, and I doubt he ever allowed anyone to change his mind or to forget his duties. Besides, as you well know, Mr. Darcy left Hertfordshire more than a week ago.”

  “Yes, but he was here before that, and Lady Catherine said he had no reason for such a visit!”

  “And what has this got to do with me, Mr. Collins? How may I help Lady Catherine—or you?”

  “By breaking any connection to Mr. Darcy and even refusing to speak to him should he happen to return. I imagine how tempting the prospect of a marriage to such a blessed, excellent man like Mr. Darcy might appear to you, but it would be appalling for you to even attempt to quit your sphere and aspire to be so high! You cannot possibly marry Mr. Darcy; Lady Catherine would not approve of it, nor would his family. Everybody will accuse you of exposing him to the world’s censure!”

  “Mr. Collins, this is outrageous. I shall leave you now before I say something that will prove my improper behaviour once again…”

  “Cousin, you must tell me once for all: has Mr. Darcy proposed marriage to you?”

  Elizabeth felt startled to have Mr. Collins utter those words in front of her. She struggled to keep her temper as she replied.

  “No, sir. The only marriage proposal—and one that I daily congratulate myself for rejecting—was yours. Shall we not end this conversation? Or will you insist on continuing in the same ridiculous manner as happened during our previous private meeting?”

  Mr. Collins received this with obvious shock, but he would not be deterred from his purpose.

  “Cousin, you must understand that Mr. Darcy and Miss De Bourgh were meant for each other since they were in their cradles. It was the dearest wish of her mother—and his!”

  “Mr. Darcy is several years older than Miss de Bourgh, so I doubt they were in cradles at the same time.”

  This stern answer disconcerted Mr. Collins and left him silent for a moment.

  “Cousin Elizabeth, you cannot. You must promise you shall never marry Mr. Darcy. If you do so, I shall also promise that, once your father dies, I shall not throw you and your mother and sisters out of Longbourn immediately.”

  Elizabeth’s face coloured with rage, and her voice was furious. “Excuse me? How dare you say such a thing, Mr. Collins? Have you completely lost your senses over Lady Catherine? Let us keep in mind that accidents can happen at any time. It is not impossible that my father might survive you—only God knows that!”

  Mr. Collins appeared dumbfounded by such a prospect and answered with difficulty. “Lady Catherine demands your answer and your promise, and I shall do my best to obtain it.”

  "I am no one her ladyship can command, Mr. Collins! And this conversation has been as long as it is appalling, so let us stop it now.”

  “You have managed to turn Mr. Darcy against his own aunt!”

  “I have done no such thing!” Elizabeth uttered in anger.

  “How can you deny it? Mr. Darcy has broken any engagement to Anne de Bourgh.”

  “I am sorry for Miss de Bourgh’s distress, but if you gave it proper consideration, both you and Lady Catherine would understand that, should he possess any feelings for me, my rejection would not make him marry his cousin. He is not the kind of man to change his heart and mind so easily as to propose to two different women in only two days—as others have done before!”

  This prompted Mr. Collins to fall into the nearest chair.

  Elizabeth looked at him then turned to the door and, on opening it, said, “Mr. Collins, I shall beg your pardon if I leave now.”

  She was about to do so when she bumped into her mother, who was obviously waiting and listening in the hall.

  “Lizzy, what does this mean? Mr. Darcy? What is this about? Oh, dear Lord!”

  “Mama, please, I have had enough for one day!”

  “Lizzy dearest, where are you going? Is this even true? Oh, dear God help me…”

  “Mama, I must be alone, please! I shall take a walk, for I need some fresh air…”

  “Fresh air? Yes, yes—do what you please! Oh, I shall ask Mr. Bingley when Mr. Darcy returns! Mr. Collins—you should leave now! You could not convince Lizzy to marry you. How on Earth do you expect to convince her not to marry others? You may take Longbourn if you want; we will move to Pemberley soon. Oh, dear Lord! Hill! Hill, where are you? Jane! I shall faint now—I need a glass of port and my smelling salts.”

  Elizabeth almost ran though her mother’s voice still followed her. She felt the need to cry without knowing why. She was happy and sad, hopeful and desperate, tormented and relieved. Her thoughts were in such a storm that she could not remain there a moment longer, having to answer everyone’s questions. She knew not where s
he was headed, but it did not matter.

  She stopped only when the house was no longer in sight. Oakham Mount was only steps away, its edge marking the border of Netherfield Park; gradually, as she stood there admiring the view, her body calmed. She slowly sat in the grass, looking at the sky. The serene blue slowly seeped into her heart and mind, and her spirit rose again to meet the soft clouds. Her fears were carried away on the gentle summer breeze. He did not visit her aunt to enter into an engagement but to make his intentions clearly known. Mr. Collins’s visit had been surprising—and ridiculous. She remembered it and started to laugh, recollecting her sharp words as well as those of her mother. Poor Mr. Collins, his lack of wit and character were laughable—and painful for Elizabeth, considering that Charlotte decided to marry him.

  Could she really expect a marriage proposal from Mr. Darcy? For once in their lives, were Lady Catherine and Mr. Collins right?

  Elizabeth’s heart ached with the desire for this to be true—to be certain of his love and to be able to confess hers. To have him smile at her, as Mr. Bingley did with Jane. To take her hand and feel the touch of his fingers again. To hear him whisper to her and feel his warm breath on her skin. To detect his scent every day, to feel his caresses, and to have his lips touch hers.

  Intoxicated by the smell of the grass, spoiled by the sound of the birds, and lost in her thoughts, desires, and hopes, Elizabeth fell asleep, and her dreams generously took away the burden she carried.

  Slowly, the dream became more sensual, and Elizabeth moaned and smiled. The scent seemed stronger, and the whisper sounded so real that she shivered at the hoarse voice calling her voice.

  “Miss Bennet?”

  The second call was louder, and she finally opened her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat then started pounding. The blue of the sky was there, only inches away from her, melting inside her.

  “Miss Bennet? Are you well? Everybody is looking for you…” Mr. Darcy spoke with a worried voice. He was sitting on the grass, looking at her with concern, obviously trying to see whether she was hurt. She remained still, unable and unwilling to move.

  “But you found me!” she answered, flustered by her daring words.

  “Yes, I did,” he replied, his eyes lingering on her.

  “Are you well?” he insisted, and she tried to laugh while hurrying to rise to her feet. He helped her, and brought back from her reverie, she became aware of her state.

  “Forgive me…I was tired and I fell asleep…I must look horrible…” She averted her eyes and began to brush her gown and fix her bonnet.

  He gently stopped her nervous hands with his and whispered, “You have never looked more beautiful. Here, allow me to do that. There is only a little grass and some flowers on your dress and in your hair…”

  Elizabeth barely moved, looking at him amazed while allowing him to take care of her. His hands cleared the back of her dress, gently removing some grass from her shoulders and her nape. Elizabeth shivered, dazzled by a sensation she had never imagined. He then turned her to face him and removed her bonnet; his fingers touched her chin gently then arranged a lock on her forehead. She was mesmerized, and all strength evaded her. She could not move—nor did she want to. She gazed at him steadily, unable to tear her eyes away.

  Mr. Darcy returned the intensity of her look, barely breathing. Neither of them said anything for a while.

  Elizabeth was the first to speak. “Have you returned today, sir?”

  “Yes, I just arrived. Bingley suggested we should call at Longbourn. No, to be honest, I was the one suggesting we should call at Longbourn immediately…”

  She blushed at his smile, which said more than his words.

  “I am glad you did. And I am sorry I worried you and my family. I should not have left so thoughtlessly…”

  He smiled. “I understand you had a good reason. Mrs. Bennet informed me that Mr. Collins came to see you on behalf of Lady Catherine. Miss Bennet, I cannot apologize enough for such an improper and ridiculous gesture.”

  “You have no reason to apologise to me, sir. I just hope Miss de Bourgh was not troubled by your visit…”

  “It is very kind of you, but rest assured she was not. I am very fond of my cousin, and I will always provide her support and protection whenever needed. However, we have long discussed the matter of this imagined engagement. My Aunt Catherine was the only one who persisted in it—and apparently Mr. Collins. I shall make my opinion of him known no later than today. Such a preposterous intervention cannot be tolerated.”

  His words increased in severity, and Elizabeth’s smile widened.

  “As you wish, sir. But I assure you I answered him as he deserved. You should not doubt that nor worry about me.”

  “I never doubt you, Miss Bennet. I only hope you will allow me the privilege of worrying about you more frequently in the future.”

  He stepped closer, and her breath caught as her eyes were captured by his. Her lips became dry, and she licked them nervously. A little smile twisted her lips, and he took her hands in hers.

  “Miss Bennet, I have struggled too long, but I finally have the courage to tell you how ardently I love and admire you. My feelings will not be repressed—nor do I want them to be. My life has not been the same since the day I first saw you. You changed it completely—and you changed me such that I feel incomplete when I am away from you. I know I might sound selfish, but I cannot leave your side farther than the ability of my eyes to see you.”

  His countenance had a softness that Elizabeth had never seen before, and the sparkle in his eyes disclosed feelings she did not recognize. Though she had seen him many times, this seemed like the first time she had set eyes on him. The closeness to him felt intimidating, yet Elizabeth wished not to move. Her only desire was to allow his ardent love to enfold her.

  “Mr. Darcy…I want nothing more than to have you worry about me…and to always be in your sight. Almost from the beginning of our acquaintance, my life has also changed. And the painful things I said the last time we met here at Oakham Mount—”

  He placed his finger on Elizabeth’s lips; what seemed like a sudden impulse to stop unnecessary words turned into a gentle caress. She struggled to remain upright and leaned to seek comfort from his arms, which closed tenderly around her. Her head rested on his chest as his fingers gently caressed her hair.

  “But sir, I shall never allow you to call yourself selfish again when no one is more generous than you—the way you saved my family.”

  He pushed her away enough to meet her eyes.

  “My dearest, loveliest Elizabeth, everything I have done was for you, and it was not a proof of generosity but of selfishness. I wanted nothing more than to know you happy, and I did everything to fulfil my desire.”

  “We are in great danger then, sir, as we seem to have different comprehension of the meaning of certain words. I count on the richness of your library to improve my understanding,” she teased him through her tears.

  “You may also count on a lifetime of devotion to solve any differences or misunderstandings that might appear between us, my beloved Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth embraced Mr. Darcy, laying her head against his coat once again; her happiness was overwhelming, and its power almost frightened her. She wished to tell him that she did not understand the meaning of “ardent love” well enough—but did not dare. Perhaps she would do so—later.

  For now, she only murmured, “I am so happy you have found me!”

  Then the silence of that beautiful place and their shared feelings was broken by the sound of his voice calling to her. They separated, and he briefly caressed her face with his tender fingers and loving gaze, whispering a promise while his lips brushed over her ear.

  “Let us return now. There will be time for us soon.”

  ***

  Everything after this came easy; Elizabeth returned home accompanied by Mr. Darcy, who asked for an immediate private conversation with Mr. Bennet. Elizabeth accompanied Mr. Darcy to the door
of the library, parting from him with a smile and a promise that they would see each other soon.

  The encounter lasted almost half an hour, but no one seemed to notice. Mrs. Bennet was preoccupied with Jane and her betrothed, and nothing else mattered to her. Mr. Darcy returned to the drawing room and whispered to Elizabeth that her father was waiting for her. She rose and exited the room, noticing he was holding a glass of brandy. Inside the library, Mr. Bennet was filling one of his own. He invited her to sit and paced the room for a while.

  “This has been quite the day of surprises for me, Lizzy! To have Mr. Darcy come here and ask for your hand…”

  “It was a surprise for me too, Papa.”

  “And yet you accepted him—may I dare ask why, Lizzy?”

  “Why, Papa? He is certainly the best man I have ever known…”

  “I have known that for a long while, my dear. I have come to cherish and admire Mr. Darcy, both for his character, his wisdom, and his generosity. I found myself proud to call him a friend. And I wish him to have a blissful life!”

  “It melts my heart to hear you speak so highly of him. But then, why your hesitation, Papa?”

  “Because neither of you showed any sign of holding each other in special regard. I have seen you more friendly to all the other gentlemen you ever met. You always looked rather awkward in each other’s presence, barely speaking to each other, and often sharing opposite opinions. I cannot but wonder and worry…”

  “Of what, Father?”

  “Are you certain you do not wish to marry only because your sister does? Could that be the reason for this precipitate marriage? The willingness to finally be settled, have a family? His disposition is so completely different from yours. How will you adjust to a life together? Will you be happy with him, Lizzy? Will you be happy together?”

  “I will, Papa, I am sure of that. I already am happy—happier than I ever imagined.”

  “My dear, I pray that to be true. I know you very well, Lizzy. You could not be content if you have not only respect and admiration, but also true affection for your husband. I have heard you say many times that you wish to marry for love!”